The Myth of Marrying a Doctor Occupation Topics

  • View author's info Author posted on Apr 01, 2006 at 20:40


    I'm 42 years old. I've wanted to be a doctor since I was 3. Mostly this was because I wanted to help people: to make sick people well. Partly it was because I wanted to impress girls.

    I was married for many years, and now have been divorced for a few. I've dated some women: before my marriage, and after my divorce. None of those women ever cared that I am a doctor. Some actively disliked it. When it comes to attracting the opposite sex, I've never known my M.D. to be an asset. It's always been a liability.

    For me, the Great Lie of the 60s and 70s -- the period when I was growing up -- was that being a doctor was admirable, and that many women wanted to marry doctors. That may have been true once, but times change. The happily married Donna Reed (to Dr. Alex Stone, pediatrician) of the 1950s gave way to the single Dr. Kildare of the 1960s (who nevertheless had a steady girlfriend, his nurse), and he to Marcus Welby, M.D. of the 1970s, who was married to his work. The St. Elsewhere of the 1980s suggested what the E.R. and Chicago Hope of the 1990s confirmed: that the life of a doctor is no picnic, and leaves little opportunity for social or family commitment.

    In that time, and in the years since, women have wised up. They've realized that the long hours and dedication to patients required of doctors makes for poor marriage and family material. And during those decades, many women have become doctors themselves. A busy female physician has no starry-eyed longing for a fellow doctor, with whom her overbooked schedule will compete.

    It is good that my main motivation for going into medicine was the desire to help people, since my other reason has not borne fruit. And it is perhaps divine justice and delicious irony that a naive belief in my profession's ability to attract women was but a pipe dream.

    Okay, I'll stop feeling sorry for myself now. My self-pitying rant is done.
  • 16Comments

  • View author's info posted on Jun 25, 2013 at 16:33


    Call me a sucker for punishment, but I would love to marry a doctor!
  • View author's info posted on Dec 29, 2009 at 22:32


    marrying a doctor is a fairytale. At least where I am from, I am raised from family of doctors and honestly, doctors are one of the most unhappiest professions I have known (no offense) i just have known soo many more unhappy drs than happy ones...actuallyi have yet to meet a "happy dr" its not like a tv show....a doctor requires TONS of tormenting education and experience, yet now ppl think dr make lots of $$$$ but the truth be told they don't. Thanks obama for helping out on that cause. Doctors are a total cliche that are completely mistaken....lawyers are the scumbags I have problems with..they keep the pony show running as most ppl know
  • View author's info posted on Nov 04, 2006 at 06:46


    I have always had this thing for professions. Like , i alwyas dreamed of my man to have some unusual, non common profession.. for example an astronaut or a fencer :P

    That would be so cool indeed.

    Greetings.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 13, 2006 at 17:28


    I work in the medical field and I have only admiration for Doctors' Be proud of yourself it takes a lot of work and personal discipline to become a Doctor and a lot of work to remain a good one.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 19, 2006 at 05:33


    To the original author....marrying a doctor. Sorry, but what world do you live in? I was married to a doctor through all the hard years, the studying, the internship, the specialty and the setting up of the practice. I never complained about the hours or the emergencies.
    What did it get me?
    You find that once the success has set in, they leave you for some young tart.
    Ouch!!!! I know you might be offended, but I have seen this too often....to too many nice people.
  • View author's info posted on Jun 30, 2006 at 15:20


    Many job professions call for substantial portions of ones' family or relationship time. I have been in a relationship with someone in the military. I tended his home, business and other affairs in addition to my own while he was away for a year. I understood that there would be times where he was away for multiple weeks/months on training courses or other military business. And I wasn't even married to him while I adapted to this lifestyle! I think there needs to be maturity and respect as to adapting to the other partners life choices in this regard and others. You have chosen a wonderful calling, you do need to have leeway and not be made to feel guilty for the time it demands of you to do the job well. Your partner should be able to respect and support this.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 24, 2006 at 05:25


    Apocryphal write:

    In that time, and in the years since, women have wised up. They've realized that the long hours and dedication to patients required of doctors makes for poor marriage and family material. And during those decades, many women have become doctors themselves. A busy female physician has no starry-eyed longing for a fellow doctor, with whom her overbooked schedule will compete.

    It is good that my main motivation for going into medicine was the desire to help people, since my other reason has not borne fruit. And it is perhaps divine justice and delicious irony that a naive belief in my profession's ability to attract women was but a pipe dream.

    Okay, I'll stop feeling sorry for myself now. My self-pitying rant is done.


    I've been a nurse in a busy neonatal intensive care unit for just over six years. I've spent way too many holidays, weekends, all-nighters, beautiful days, etc. sitting next to a doctor watching over a kid that was in the process of going down the drain. As a mother that has children who were sitting at home wanting me to be with them, I know that many of those doctors have wives/kids at home that just want him to be at home with them during those family occasions also. How many of us voluntarily spend Christmas day in a hospital taking care of someone else's sick child, while our own kids are being taken care of by someone else?

    Let me try to remember my point here. The fantasy of being married to the young rich successful doctor fades away when you see the reality of the doctor that is rarely home and gets called back to work on the nights that he does manage to get family time. I love most of the doctors that I work with and their commitment to saving lives is truly amazing. Too many of them let it take away their own lives though. It's a job hazard, I suppose.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 14, 2006 at 09:47


    IT SEEMS THAT THE TWO OF YOU MATCH, OH HOW SWEET........
  • View author's info posted on Apr 13, 2006 at 04:41


    you are not old at all :)
  • View author's info posted on Apr 12, 2006 at 07:28


    I'm back...........
  • View author's info posted on Apr 08, 2006 at 17:28


    MIRA_23 write:
    It
    s not a myth , girls still dream to marry a doctor , i do too :)


    Well, how sweet.
    It is nice to know that the profession still inspires some admiration.
    It is a shame that you live so far away, and are so young (or, perhaps, that I am so old).
  • View author's info posted on Apr 07, 2006 at 08:47


    It
    s not a myth , girls still dream to marry a doctor , i do too :)
  • View author's info posted on Apr 07, 2006 at 03:26


    I am confused by this statement. You have never met me, do not know me, and have never heard of me before. Why would you think that I have anything to do with drugs?
  • View author's info posted on Apr 07, 2006 at 01:33


    are you okay?
    I know you are still on drugs......
  • View author's info posted on Apr 06, 2006 at 20:48


    Is this flirting, or are you trying to find out if I make house calls? :-)
  • View author's info posted on Apr 05, 2006 at 11:12


    Is there a doctor in house???
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