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Teens drinking - Cda vs US - Devo, katie, Rob, everyone opinion requested
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Posted on Fri, Mar 17, 2006 11:00

Canada's drinking age is either 18 or 19 depending on the Province you live in. Throughout the US it is 21 yrs.
In Alberta, it is 18. My daughter is approaching 17 in 2 months. Lately, she's been going out to more parties. She had one at my house last weekend on a Thursday night, as no school on Friday. Saturday she wanted to go to another party that approx. 60 kids attended. She was grounded, so for all her begging she didn't get to go. :-)
I'm an involved parent...in those kids faces. For whatever reason, herself and all her friends (male/female) talk to me. I hear alot! Maybe because I listen more than telling them what to do. But I do reflect on what they say and try to inject some wisdom, hopefully common sense. Get them thinking.
What I've noticed is that when we were growing up, we drank beer! I hated it, so I drank very little. It wasn't until we were around 18, working more, so could afford more, that we began drinking hard alcohol. And when we did drink hard alcohol, we drank it with mix.
Today, these kids at 16/17 yrs are already drinking hard alcohol, such as, Malibu Rum, Vodka, Tequila...not Rye, and sometimes Coolers. And often they are drinking shots straight up!
Because I know my daughter will drink anyways, I have basically said okay to it, BUT in moderation...don't get plastered! Two or 3 Coolers over the course of 4 - 5 hrs is more than enough. And don't be driving with anyone who has been drinking. Call, I'll pick you up, or take a cab there is money in the cupboard.
I always know when she gets home, as I tell her to wake me. Then I talk to her so I can tell if she has had too much to drink. She's usually pretty good.
Last weekend, the party she had Thursday here, I was home, yet they hid it well. But the next day, I found out that one of the boys passed out on my son's bed, because he had drank 3/4's of a 26 oz. bottle of Vodka...they were doing shooters. Since my daughter worked that night, no one arrived at my house until 10:30 p.m., talked to me upstairs till 10:45 p.m. It was from 10:45 p.m. till 1 a.m. that he consumed that much! WOW!!!
Saturday night, the party my daughter wasn't allowed to attend...this same boy (who an athlete!), drank almost an entire bottle of Vodka again! Also in a very short period of time, and who knows what else he drank...he doesn't do drugs...none of these kids do fortunately. Apparently, his friends wanted to take him to the hospital to have his stomache pumped, but he refused to let them take him, because his parents would find out. I had along talk with my daughter about all this drinking hard alcohol. I'm concerned these kids are going to be in AA by the time they are 19 to 20 yrs old! She tells me she had already decided that she was sticking to Coolers, because she doesn't like being drunk and not remembering whether she had fun at a party or not. She's quit indulging in hard alcohol.
If you specifically tell them NO YOU CAN'T DRINK...they will do it behind your back. So is it better to be in the know?
With the alcohol age being 21 in the States, does that make a significant difference to young teens drinking or not drinking? In other words, those of you who have teens in the US...are your teens drinking at 16 & 17 yrs old?

Has anyone else noticed this trend from beer to hard alcohol? If so, do you see it as being a concern to leading to more alcoholism?



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Posted on Sat, Mar 25, 2006 17:16

allwhiteontheknight write:
As a recent Brit, if you get what i mean i can assure that binge drinking is alive and thriving in the UK its a problem in other European countries but not all. the young earn good money and think nothing of spending $200 over a w/e, crazy but that's the way it is, but i also think the drink laws here are crazy, it appears you can marry at 14 in some states drive a car a year later , go to war at 18 yet you can't have a drink and celebrate your 'death' til' 3 years later

well people don't realize the serious ness of it when you get behind a car my self had dwis but the courts dismissed them i agreed to treat ment. drinking can also cause death one of the laading cause of death by alcohol, like cancer aids or heart attacks.



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Posted on Wed, Mar 22, 2006 10:02

Hi Sharp i did a little drinking as a teenager but very little as i did not like the taste of beer and most definitely not hard liquor. Beer was my choice as it was the only thing i could stand then.I drank when a group of us was together just to say i was drinking. Not to fit in as i have a very strong personality even as a child and did not "follow the crowd" Many times i never drank. I was more of a self learner as my mother never discussed that. It mostly was my decisions. But i am the exception to the rule as many are followers and heavy peer pressure(something i never believed in even as a kid).

ETOH is very prevalent in children 10-14 here in the US. They are alchoholics at that age. Sad but i watched a program on that not long ago and was amazed. I couldn't believe so young.
They are going to drink no matter what you say but teaching them what can happen over and over and over is what i found the best way to help them be informed. Communication is the best medicine. They will always be able to come to you and tell you and then you can start all over with the Why nots. I also found out that watching their peers is also a good lesson so my daughter tells me. When something bad happens to one of their friends, another good lesson. It might take awhile but will always be in their minds. My kids went from (son) drinking all the time to now barely ever drinking. My daughter never liked the stuff and rarely drank and is the same now. Neither have alchoholic tendencies. I am blessed there as my ex's dad was an alchoholc and his mother was a addict on RX meds. Out of 3 kids 1 became an alchohlic. You are born with an addictive trait and if you are there is the addiction. There were none in my side of the family that i know of. I talked all the time to my children and they talked to me. Told me everythimg whether they knew i would approve or not For that i am grateful.
That is all we can do as a parent is talk,talk talk and hope they lsten at some point. I believe here in the US it is very bad. I also told both of them NEVER to leave a drink just sitting. People are dangerous now a days. I am sure you have done the right thing which works for yours but in any case they will all try it at some point. Hoping they will be responsible when they do is strictly left up to them and the teachings they have had.

My experience with this....



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Posted on Tue, Mar 21, 2006 21:07

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories and advice.
I'm glad to here Tall that it's not just Canada.
Katie, I've never been slipped the date rape drug, but in 2000 I was in Turkey on business. Prior to attending an evening function I was given advice by one of our Turkish guides...DO NOT ACCEPT ANY DRINKS from anyone other than the bartender. He included himself after he had a few drinks himself. He said we might find ourselves on the other side of the Iraqi or Iran border. I wasn't nieve and had heard of the drug, but I never dreamed of having someone warn me about it. That was a wake up call to me. And I have made sure I re-enforce the idea that both my son and daughter leave any drinks that they have taken their eyes off for even a second. Dump it and get a new one.
I received an email from someone who said they did the same to their kids.

I'm flabberghasted at kids having earning power of $200k+ in the UK. WOW! My kids wish! lol



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Posted on Tue, Mar 21, 2006 17:12

sharp1 write:
Canada's drinking age is either 18 or 19 depending on the Province you live in. Throughout the US it is 21 yrs.
In Alberta, it is 18. My daughter is approaching 17 in 2 months. Lately, she's been going out to more parties. She had one at my house last weekend on a Thursday night, as no school on Friday. Saturday she wanted to go to another party that approx. 60 kids attended. She was grounded, so for all her begging she didn't get to go. :-)
I'm an involved parent...in those kids faces. For whatever reason, herself and all her friends (male/female) talk to me. I hear alot! Maybe because I listen more than telling them what to do. But I do reflect on what they say and try to inject some wisdom, hopefully common sense. Get them thinking.
What I've noticed is that when we were growing up, we drank beer! I hated it, so I drank very little. It wasn't until we were around 18, working more, so could afford more, that we began drinking hard alcohol. And when we did drink hard alcohol, we drank it with mix.
Today, these kids at 16/17 yrs are already drinking hard alcohol, such as, Malibu Rum, Vodka, Tequila...not Rye, and sometimes Coolers. And often they are drinking shots straight up!
Because I know my daughter will drink anyways, I have basically said okay to it, BUT in moderation...don't get plastered! Two or 3 Coolers over the course of 4 - 5 hrs is more than enough. And don't be driving with anyone who has been drinking. Call, I'll pick you up, or take a cab there is money in the cupboard.
I always know when she gets home, as I tell her to wake me. Then I talk to her so I can tell if she has had too much to drink. She's usually pretty good.
Last weekend, the party she had Thursday here, I was home, yet they hid it well. But the next day, I found out that one of the boys passed out on my son's bed, because he had drank 3/4's of a 26 oz. bottle of Vodka...they were doing shooters. Since my daughter worked that night, no one arrived at my house until 10:30 p.m., talked to me upstairs till 10:45 p.m. It was from 10:45 p.m. till 1 a.m. that he consumed that much! WOW!!!
Saturday night, the party my daughter wasn't allowed to attend...this same boy (who an athlete!), drank almost an entire bottle of Vodka again! Also in a very short period of time, and who knows what else he drank...he doesn't do drugs...none of these kids do fortunately. Apparently, his friends wanted to take him to the hospital to have his stomache pumped, but he refused to let them take him, because his parents would find out. I had along talk with my daughter about all this drinking hard alcohol. I'm concerned these kids are going to be in AA by the time they are 19 to 20 yrs old! She tells me she had already decided that she was sticking to Coolers, because she doesn't like being drunk and not remembering whether she had fun at a party or not. She's quit indulging in hard alcohol.
If you specifically tell them NO YOU CAN'T DRINK...they will do it behind your back. So is it better to be in the know?
With the alcohol age being 21 in the States, does that make a significant difference to young teens drinking or not drinking? In other words, those of you who have teens in the US...are your teens drinking at 16 & 17 yrs old?

Has anyone else noticed this trend from beer to hard alcohol? If so, do you see it as being a concern to leading to more alcoholism?

well sharp report her, thats the problems of to day with teens drugs, and alcohol, down where i am at you get caught your butt is grass so to speak they are startting to buckle down on it they had bad car accidents of it involved, legal age wherei am is 21 you can't drink in a bar if you get caught jail time for youngsters . thats how the ledged hank williams died alcohol in he back seat of a car new years eve night. but hell i use to drink when i was a kid.



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Posted on Tue, Mar 21, 2006 16:50

Folks, the laisse-faire approach that Europeans have about kids and alcohol appears to result in FEWER problems with binge drinking, drunk driving, and behavior problems. Part of the problem with alcohol in America is that it's naughty and forbidden, and teen drinking is considered rebellious. Take THAT away, and the booze simply has no power, unless you have a family prone to alcholism or other addictive behaviors.



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Posted on Tue, Mar 21, 2006 15:16

As a recent Brit, if you get what i mean i can assure that binge drinking is alive and thriving in the UK its a problem in other European countries but not all. the young earn good money and think nothing of spending $200 over a w/e, crazy but that's the way it is, but i also think the drink laws here are crazy, it appears you can marry at 14 in some states drive a car a year later , go to war at 18 yet you can't have a drink and celebrate your 'death' til' 3 years later



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Posted on Tue, Mar 21, 2006 00:20

Sharon, when I came of age to drink, I jumped right into the "booze pool" without a paddle or a life jacket! LOL I loved tequila and marguaritas were my favourite unless I was drinking shots with salt and lemon.

My dad, bless his soul, was an alcoholic, and one night, I came home, got half undressed and then passed out on my bed. Next morning, I was in my nightie and all cosy in under the blankets. I knew my dad put me there because my mother would not have put me to bed, she would have creased my forehead with a cast iron frypan.

Next morning, my dad brought a tray up to my room. He gave me a glass of orange juice and told me to drink it down. I was dry as the Sahara and chugged that juice almost as fast as I ran to the bathroom to throw it up. When I went back to my room, my Dad said, "Okay, I know your stomach is squeamish, but at least you have all that crap out of you now. Now, take these Aspirin and drink this water and go back to sleep. I'll come get you for supper and I'll make you a little scrambled egg and some toast. Nothing too much after a bender."

My mother was convinced I inherited the problem with sobriety. She never let me drink when we were out at dinner or something and even convinced my sister to keep an eye on me. lol I was a wicked partier when I was in my late teens, early twenties, but I was NOT an alcoholic. I was a social drinker. LOL

Dad gave me some very good advice:
(much like yours)

* NEVER drink so much that you can't stand up. If you fall down, get up and start drinking coffee ... or

* always drink and then get up and dance your ass off. Work the alcohol out of your system.

* then you can go back and drink if you're going to ANYWAY, but do NOT sit there for long without getting up and dancing it off again.

*NEVER drink and drive.

*NEVER get in a car being driven by someone who has been drinking even one drink!

* NEVER let a friend drive if they've been drinking. Pry the keys out of their battered, bleeding fist if you have to, but DON'T let them get behind the wheel.

* when you get home, leave your clothes on and just loosen them a little. It doesn't matter if you sleep with your clothes on. (this rule made me blush a little)

* lie down and if you look up at the ceiling and it's spinning... even when you put your hand down and hold onto the floor ... DON'T GO TO SLEEP! Get up, take a walk, sit up and read a book, but DO NOT PASS OUT. Wait until the spinning stops or you'll wake up with a killer hang-over.

* BEFORE you go to sleep, take two analgesics and an 8 oz. glass of water. Then lie down and make sure the room doesn't spin, even a little bit, and then you can go to sleep.

That was the BEST darned advice! I used to be able to drink all the guys under the table! lol Dad did NOT know about rohypnol though, and when I was around 24 I was given the date-rape drug, slipped into my drink when I went to the washroom. We won't go into details, but I NEVER let it happen again.

When my daughter turned 19, I told her all the sage advice my father taught me. To this day, (she's 21) she says she has never had a hangover or passed out in someone's car trunk or something.

Neither she, nor I, drink much anymore. Wine with dinner is our big thing now. I don't have an ounce of alcohol or beer or coolers in my fridge, although I enjoy them when I think of them. I guess we got our wild days out of the way. But I thank my Dad for setting me straight when I was young. The great thing about good advice is ...you get to pass it on! lol



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Posted on Fri, Mar 17, 2006 14:58

Sharon,
The teens drink just as much here as there, no matter WHAT the age. Like you, when I was in my late teens, we drank beer, and I stick to a beer or 2 to this day. Both my parents were alcoholics, so I have always drunk in moderation, because I simply don't like to be out of control and I don't like that "woozy" feeling.
When my kids were in their late teens, if they wanted to have a party, they had it in the heated garage, and we took all the car keys till the next morning. My daughter very rarely drinks, but my son, who is now 30, can drink pretty heavily when he wants to, and he drinks the expensive stuff....Crown Royal. He either does it straight or with a mixer.
It's a shame that kids these days want to grow up so fast. They think that drinking is grown up, so they do it...in excess most of the time, then drive home. I have seen my fair share of alcohol toxicity from young kids drinking too much too fast. It kills!
The problem is, you can't tell them NOT to do it. There's always that Peer pressure and to be popular or whatever, they will drink... We, as parents, just have to keep with the Who, What, Where, When questions, and keep the lines of communication open!



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Posted on Fri, Mar 17, 2006 12:28

Sharp,
See my private email. One correction, any ALCOHOL is a DRUG... My opinion, I think smoking cigarettes starts the process which leads to the next phase. The rationale is that they succumb to peer pressure and the next temptation leads to the next.

My children are not of that age yet. I can speak of experiences I have seen with several teenagers from my neighborhood that I have known for 10 years or more. The best and brightest that came from a pot smoking Mom graduated this year as a nurse, she did not indulge and commented that she had a hard time finding a boyfriend that was not a drunk or druggy.
All of the following came from somewhat normal homes. #2 is in jail now at 21 started with beer to grain alcohol to drugs. A different neighbor that hung with him stole her Mama's car went and got drunk wrecked it and now looks like the Phantom of the Opera, such a waste she was so beautiful. # four started paramedic training at 13 ride alongs with Ambulance, fortunately she does not enjoy alcohol but she now works full time at the Waffle House no plans for college.

Sharp keep talking to your girl. Know who, what, where these kids are at all times! Ask questions and make them wear a cell phone.



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