Are you an "excellent lover"... or do you just THINK you are? Message Board

  • View author's info Author posted on Feb 25, 2006 22:57


    Absolutely every man I've ever met, if we got to know each other well enough to discuss sex without it being creepy, (like when you're on a first date and HE brings up the topic before the entrees are served) has told me he is "an excellent lover who KNOWS how to satisfy a woman."

    Now, I haven't had the opportunity (or the inclination) to try each and every one of them out to see if they're right, but of the gentlemen I have spent time with ... (all of whom I can count on one and a half hands, including my ex) ..... they were a little off the mark!

    Most of their problems were related to THEIR interpretation of "foreplay," (if they were aware of the deed at all) as opposed to a woman's definition of the activity. Could it be that men and women are not on the same page where sexual technique is involved? If so, ... what the heck can we do about that? lol
  • 45Comments

  • View author's info posted on Mar 27, 2006 14:43


    hondo1952 write:
    katiegrl write:
    robtest write:

    katiegrl write:

    I must just be in one of those moods Rob. Every answer I thought of for this post was ..... risque. Ben would have liked it though! lol



    After seeing the test results you posted back in InternationalMan's thread, and your expert skill in vernacular, I can imagine that Ben and the rest of us guys would have been well entertained by your "risque"ness !!!


    as the moisture met with the molten! LOL


    That immediately made me think of the song "You Sexy Thang" by Hot Chocolate. Katie, you naughty minx.

    I prefer the houlahoop, shhook, shoooookkkk...
  • View author's info posted on Mar 26, 2006 13:37


    rajuncajun1 write:

    altruisticman, i am a cool cajun man but i can be like the bad ones .i mind my own business so to speak.

    I know you are rajun that's the only reason I was picking with you, because I noticed that you weren't sensitive. Thanks for being a good sport. BTW, good luck in school and football.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 25, 2006 14:22


    hondo1952 write:
    katiegrl write:
    robtest write:

    katiegrl write:

    I must just be in one of those moods Rob. Every answer I thought of for this post was ..... risque. Ben would have liked it though! lol



    After seeing the test results you posted back in InternationalMan's thread, and your expert skill in vernacular, I can imagine that Ben and the rest of us guys would have been well entertained by your "risque"ness !!!


    Well, one of the images I imagined was me licking my forefinger and placing it on my hip to make a "tssssss" sound as the moisture met with the molten! LOL


    That immediately made me think of the song "You Sexy Thang" by Hot Chocolate. Katie, you naughty minx.

    hondo i like hat tune man i did not hear it in a while, super gold saturday nights s?u/p/e/r/g/o/l/d/./n/e/t/
  • View author's info posted on Mar 25, 2006 14:19


    Altruisticman write:
    katiegrl write:
    Altruisticman write:
    katiegrl write:
    Altruistic ... you are a man of clarity and wisdom. You should write a book.

    Now are you just naturally hotter than a jalapeno ... or do you have to work at that? lol

    Thanks :) It's all NATURAL! lol btw I'm Licensed, Bonded and FULLY INSURED (ROFLMAO)


    Tru, that's very good to know! lol

    Is there any chance you could give RajunCajun a few pointers? I think he's been living too long amongst the alligators and all the women folk have run off. lol

    Why Katie, are you volunteering to be a visual aide?? lol

    Rajun if she says yes you better get momma's ok to head north, cuz Immafrayed o' gators!

    altruisticman, i am a cool cajun man but i can be like the bad ones .i mind my own business so to speak.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 23, 2006 20:20


    katiegrl write:
    robtest write:

    katiegrl write:

    I must just be in one of those moods Rob. Every answer I thought of for this post was ..... risque. Ben would have liked it though! lol



    After seeing the test results you posted back in InternationalMan's thread, and your expert skill in vernacular, I can imagine that Ben and the rest of us guys would have been well entertained by your "risque"ness !!!


    Well, one of the images I imagined was me licking my forefinger and placing it on my hip to make a "tssssss" sound as the moisture met with the molten! LOL


    That immediately made me think of the song "You Sexy Thang" by Hot Chocolate. Katie, you naughty minx.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 20, 2006 22:52


    robtest write:

    katiegrl write:

    I must just be in one of those moods Rob. Every answer I thought of for this post was ..... risque. Ben would have liked it though! lol



    After seeing the test results you posted back in InternationalMan's thread, and your expert skill in vernacular, I can imagine that Ben and the rest of us guys would have been well entertained by your "risque"ness !!!


    Well, one of the images I imagined was me licking my forefinger and placing it on my hip to make a "tssssss" sound as the moisture met with the molten! LOL
  • View author's info posted on Mar 20, 2006 16:11


    Well here goes again, just love to have meet the the last guy you went with , he ended up with half a finger , maybe got bitten off in foreplay !!!!!!
    I find it very easy to converse in all subjects including sex, i have one rule don't be crude or rude.
    Ive another rule, one i taught myself. if you want to satisfy yourself first find out how to satisfy your girl, read up on all and anything , experiment, try things out and speak to each other, find out what each other wants. and yes girls do have G spots , finding it and knowing what to do can be a wonderful experience for both.Foreplay can start hours before, when your girl passes her undies to you under the table, the restaurant wonders why the hell you didn't finish the dessert, not knowing the lucky lad was in for a far yummier one later.
    Ive said enough for an opener
  • View author's info posted on Mar 20, 2006 11:23



    Gee ... not until you learn what your tongue is for rajun! Talk to Altruistic. It'll move you to the head of the pack. LOL



    Thanks Katie,
    BTW, Rajun here's a outline of some of the other classes being offered at the American School of Altruism.
    NEW EVENING CLASSES NOW FORMING!!!

    OPEN TO MEN ONLY!!

    Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

    The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

    DAY ONE:

    HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
    -->Step by step guide with slide presentation

    TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
    -->Roundtable discussion

    DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
    -->Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

    DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
    -->Debate among a panel of experts.

    LOSS OF VIRILITY
    Losing the remote control to your significant other
    --> Help line and support groups

    LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
    -->Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum



    DAY TWO:

    EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
    -->Group discussion and role play

    HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
    -->PowerPoint presentation

    REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
    -->Real life testimonial from the one man who did

    IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
    -->Driving simulation

    LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
    -->Online class and role playing

    HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
    -->Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

    REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
    -->Bring your calendar or PDA to class

    GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
    -->Individual counsellors available
  • View author's info posted on Mar 20, 2006 07:59



    I must just be in one of those moods Rob. Every answer I thought of for this post was ..... risque. Ben would have liked it though! lol


    Oh my goodness not you too Katie! Cutiepie already has the site turning xxx. I bet movie sales have started to rise and phone bills as well. This must stop or I must get a cut.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 20, 2006 04:08


    katiegrl write:

    I must just be in one of those moods Rob. Every answer I thought of for this post was ..... risque. Ben would have liked it though! lol


    After seeing the test results you posted back in InternationalMan's thread, and your expert skill in vernacular, I can imagine that Ben and the rest of us guys would have been well entertained by your "risque"ness !!!
  • View author's info posted on Mar 19, 2006 22:13


    robtest write:
    cutiepie01 write:
    Damn! I knew it!

    Altruisticman write:
    katiegrl write:
    Altruistic ... you are a man of clarity and wisdom. You should write a book.

    Now are you just naturally hotter than a jalapeno ... or do you have to work at that? lol

    Thanks :) It's all NATURAL! lol btw I'm Licensed, Bonded and FULLY INSURED (ROFLMAO)




    I thought women had built in defense mechanisms again men that were hotter than jalepenoes...

    Isn't that why they perspire during sex??? So that they don't catch on fire?

    LOL, I thought that was the origins of the southern term "glow", which is typically the term used for women perspiring.


    I must just be in one of those moods Rob. Every answer I thought of for this post was ..... risque. Ben would have liked it though! lol
  • View author's info posted on Mar 19, 2006 08:33


    rajuncajun1 write:
    katiegrl write:
    In my experience, men who claim to be "excellent lovers who know what a woman wants," believe that the secret technique involves "tongue hockey on the private parts." That's it. Just doing the deed is what they think constitutes a hot lover even if they gnash away like a hyena on a dead water buffalo, and even if their performance lasts about the same time as it takes to boil an egg.

    I've never met a man who understood foreplay. My ex thought it was just reaching over and grabbing a boob and kneading it like silly putty. My first boyfriend thought foreplay was taking the woman's clothes off for her instead of making her do it herself.

    The last guy I went with, about two years ago thought foreplay was taking my hand and ..... no... not kissing it or nibbling my fingertips, but placing it on his zipper-area. Wow. What a Don Juan! lol

    I'd love to know if there are ANY men who know about ear lobe nuzzling, eyelid kissing, hair stroking, shoulder-sucking. My favourite was strong arms pulling me close for a feather kiss on the nose.

    Rather than let us just moan, cry out and then be quiet as we fake it yet again, men should ask what foreplay REALLY is. In a woman's opinion.

    It's okay to put the onus on us women to speak up when we aren't being satisfied, but that's like expecting MEN to do something that doesn't come naturally. We are women! We don't like to hurt men's feelings! How do you gracefully say, "No honey ... that's for emergency exits ONLY."

    Instead, if men ASKED us, it would be killing two birds with one stone: they'd be learning what turns us on PLUS they would be treating us romantically, which is also a method of foreplay.

    Do darling men honestly believe they can fiddle around doing different things for five minutes and then we're ready to go?

    katie we might have to spend some quality timetogether then hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa wea wea


    Gee ... not until you learn what your tongue is for rajun! Talk to Altruistic. It'll move you to the head of the pack. LOL
  • View author's info posted on Mar 18, 2006 20:55


    katiegrl write:
    In my experience, men who claim to be "excellent lovers who know what a woman wants," believe that the secret technique involves "tongue hockey on the private parts." That's it. Just doing the deed is what they think constitutes a hot lover even if they gnash away like a hyena on a dead water buffalo, and even if their performance lasts about the same time as it takes to boil an egg.

    I've never met a man who understood foreplay. My ex thought it was just reaching over and grabbing a boob and kneading it like silly putty. My first boyfriend thought foreplay was taking the woman's clothes off for her instead of making her do it herself.

    The last guy I went with, about two years ago thought foreplay was taking my hand and ..... no... not kissing it or nibbling my fingertips, but placing it on his zipper-area. Wow. What a Don Juan! lol

    I'd love to know if there are ANY men who know about ear lobe nuzzling, eyelid kissing, hair stroking, shoulder-sucking. My favourite was strong arms pulling me close for a feather kiss on the nose.

    Rather than let us just moan, cry out and then be quiet as we fake it yet again, men should ask what foreplay REALLY is. In a woman's opinion.

    It's okay to put the onus on us women to speak up when we aren't being satisfied, but that's like expecting MEN to do something that doesn't come naturally. We are women! We don't like to hurt men's feelings! How do you gracefully say, "No honey ... that's for emergency exits ONLY."

    Instead, if men ASKED us, it would be killing two birds with one stone: they'd be learning what turns us on PLUS they would be treating us romantically, which is also a method of foreplay.

    Do darling men honestly believe they can fiddle around doing different things for five minutes and then we're ready to go?

    katie we might have to spend some quality timetogether then hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa wea wea
  • View author's info posted on Mar 18, 2006 15:43


    cutiepie01 write:
    Damn! I knew it!

    Altruisticman write:
    katiegrl write:
    Altruistic ... you are a man of clarity and wisdom. You should write a book.

    Now are you just naturally hotter than a jalapeno ... or do you have to work at that? lol

    Thanks :) It's all NATURAL! lol btw I'm Licensed, Bonded and FULLY INSURED (ROFLMAO)




    I thought women had built in defense mechanisms again men that were hotter than jalepenoes...

    Isn't that why they perspire during sex??? So that they don't catch on fire?

    LOL, I thought that was the origins of the southern term "glow", which is typically the term used for women perspiring.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 18, 2006 10:05


    sharp1 write:
    BQ write:
    Ha! ha! Sharp1,

    I enjoyed your thoughts...for Swedes I will be blunt I had Swedish lovers and the combination French and Swedes is fire with fire to say the least.

    As for Katie's comment ..it is her opinion and she's entitled to interpretate her experiences among the English culture surely,

    BQ


    hahaha! BQ...one can only know about the Swedes from experience, eh? lol
    Not being French, I can't comment regarding a combination of French & Swedish lovers together being like fire with fire. lol I only know myself, & I'm Irish/Scottish/Danish!

    You are right...katie is entitled to her opinion...I was merely expressing mine too. :-) I've always said it's good for everyone to express their opinion, and others can accept part, all or none of the opinion shared.

    I have Fire in my astrology chart...lol


    Yes, Sharp1 and talk about some hot passionate experiences lol...I would agree with you, unless you have gone and tried it yourself then you will really know a bit about their cultural prowness and their know how as Swedes...I would reckon they have similar upbringing like the French. As I was in Sweden for some time and observed there interaction, went to quite a number of events, parties among my friends and 3 of them were school teachers so this was very eye opening lol etc..

    Yes, it is good for people to talk freely and express there views as it is the only way to be to develop and evolve to be better adults.

    You wrote : " I have Fire in my astrology chart lol " it is not in your chart we want the fire, it is in the bedroom we need those flames he! he! do you have that also lol...

    BQ
  • View author's info posted on Mar 18, 2006 05:54


    wwww123456 write:
    katiegrl write:
    robtest write:
    ..... I have had lovers roll over in bed, kiss me ever so sweetly, run their hand softly down my chest, and then begin yanking on mr. happy like they were trying to rip start a lawnmower... WTF ???


    Rob, I spit my tea reading this. Good thing those girls weren't sporting vampire teeth and into BJ's! LOL


    Rob, I laughed and laughed at this one.

    I think I must have known her twin. Some people just don't have a clue.

    lol

    I have to agree, same feelings, and movements given to me, but Mr. Happy is replaced with My Little Flower,lol...
  • View author's info posted on Mar 17, 2006 23:59


    Benefactor123 write:
    When asked in surveys, 80% of the people say they consider themselves to be "above average" drivers, which obviously can't be the case by definition.

    I would suspect sexual skill is in the same category.

    That said, I certainly consider myself an above average lover ....

    but how can some one really determine if some one is a excellent lover some women might be lieing so how can you add that to the stastictics.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 17, 2006 18:41


    katiegrl write:
    robtest write:
    ..... I have had lovers roll over in bed, kiss me ever so sweetly, run their hand softly down my chest, and then begin yanking on mr. happy like they were trying to rip start a lawnmower... WTF ???


    Rob, I spit my tea reading this. Good thing those girls weren't sporting vampire teeth and into BJ's! LOL


    Rob, I laughed and laughed at this one.

    I think I must have known her twin. Some people just don't have a clue.

    lol
  • View author's info posted on Mar 17, 2006 08:10


    katiegrl write:
    Altruisticman write:
    katiegrl write:
    Altruistic ... you are a man of clarity and wisdom. You should write a book.

    Now are you just naturally hotter than a jalapeno ... or do you have to work at that? lol

    Thanks :) It's all NATURAL! lol btw I'm Licensed, Bonded and FULLY INSURED (ROFLMAO)


    Tru, that's very good to know! lol

    Is there any chance you could give RajunCajun a few pointers? I think he's been living too long amongst the alligators and all the women folk have run off. lol

    Why Katie, are you volunteering to be a visual aide?? lol

    Rajun if she says yes you better get momma's ok to head north, cuz Immafrayed o' gators!
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