Ex's rearing their head Message Board

  • View author's info posted on Feb 16, 2006 19:22


    I almost had to think after this weekend in Memphis, when snow storm came thru, not my wknd to have my teen daughters....and made 5 round trip 100 mile excursions to take care of them at their house and mine....while my ex and new wife were at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel living it up with the Grizzlies junket trip with no notice to me....remember that an ex has a place in time and space...THE PAST. Live for now and work on your future. Some things are better left behind even when you're making an attempt to move forward and find yourself taking small steps backwards. This site, keeping busy with work and friends, helping others, and making yourself a better person....will make u remember why that prior relationship maybe was what could have been...should have been...but wasn't. Something and someone better for compatibility is out there. Don't compromise. As others pointed out, he's moved on. You need to do the same.
  • 18Comments

  • View author's info posted on Feb 11, 2006 04:34


    cutiepie01 write:
    Mandalay thank you for your comments, i appreciate them very much. but i have allowed myself to date. it just seems that everytime, i tell myself i am going on a date something that he does sets off warning flags that makes me not do it. and then again i decide to sit back and wait for a good sign. i believe that everything happens for a reason, and i wait to find out what the reason is. like i said, ive learned patience but i have a hard time reading the meaning to the lesson im learning. i really want to move on, but every time i think i am, the guy does something that turns me away and the ex 1200 miles away always seems to hit me at that time. when i first came on this site, i was in hopes of meeting a man that made me realize that he was the one that i was meant to meet. or that i may meet someone in my town that would appreciate me and show me that i am important to him. but no matter how many times i make dates, i end up being disappointed before it ever happens. everytime i question this, i hear from him. its not that he was mean or anything like that, its just that i didnt feel important enough for him to stop trying to be something to everyone else except me. im telling you i have made a million attempts to date, and it always comes back to him. i dont even care if i pay $20 a month to be on a dating site, i love the people in this forum and i appreciate everyone of you and i dont care if i meet someone to date or not. I dont even have to pay to be in forum, if im correct, but you all have made a profound influence in my life. and i had a few beers tonite and some white russians with my mom, and im feeling very in love with all of you tonite. hehehe. Tomi help me out here.

    Mandalay207 write:
    I would just like to say that you can't sit around and wait. Or for a lack of a better term...waste your precious time in the HOPES that he will come to his senses and finally figure out what his priorities are.

    I've been there...done that...I made that mistake. Ya know what? Life is to short to be sitting around waiting for someone that you KNOW in your HEART is NOT the person for you, even though you think he/she might be. The mind plays mysterious tricks on all of us! If your gut and your heart are telling you NO...you know what to do. When you add up all the things together....remember....1 + 1 always = 2....ALWAYS!!

    I say, get out there! Date as many as you want to date. Give them all a chance....someone may just spring out of nowhere to capture your thoughts and then your heart..

    Trust me...IT DOES HAPPEN AGAIN! *Big Smile, Big Smile*





    Cutie, Clearly you are not ready to date. Your hurt and scared. take time to heal, read some books, hang with your family, etc.. Heal before you date anyone else, its the only fair thing to do. Stop trying to rush the process.

    Taking the journey of the healing process is sometimes painful and lonely,
    but trust me, its worth it.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 11, 2006 03:15


    cutiepie01 write:
    Mandalay thank you for your comments, i appreciate them very much. but i have allowed myself to date. it just seems that everytime, i tell myself i am going on a date something that he does sets off warning flags that makes me not do it. and then again i decide to sit back and wait for a good sign. i believe that everything happens for a reason, and i wait to find out what the reason is. like i said, ive learned patience but i have a hard time reading the meaning to the lesson im learning. i really want to move on, but every time i think i am, the guy does something that turns me away and the ex 1200 miles away always seems to hit me at that time. when i first came on this site, i was in hopes of meeting a man that made me realize that he was the one that i was meant to meet. or that i may meet someone in my town that would appreciate me and show me that i am important to him. but no matter how many times i make dates, i end up being disappointed before it ever happens. everytime i question this, i hear from him. its not that he was mean or anything like that, its just that i didnt feel important enough for him to stop trying to be something to everyone else except me. im telling you i have made a million attempts to date, and it always comes back to him. i dont even care if i pay $20 a month to be on a dating site, i love the people in this forum and i appreciate everyone of you and i dont care if i meet someone to date or not. I dont even have to pay to be in forum, if im correct, but you all have made a profound influence in my life. and i had a few beers tonite and some white russians with my mom, and im feeling very in love with all of you tonite. hehehe. Tomi help me out here.

    Mandalay207 write:
    I would just like to say that you can't sit around and wait. Or for a lack of a better term...waste your precious time in the HOPES that he will come to his senses and finally figure out what his priorities are.

    I've been there...done that...I made that mistake. Ya know what? Life is to short to be sitting around waiting for someone that you KNOW in your HEART is NOT the person for you, even though you think he/she might be. The mind plays mysterious tricks on all of us! If your gut and your heart are telling you NO...you know what to do. When you add up all the things together....remember....1 + 1 always = 2....ALWAYS!!

    I say, get out there! Date as many as you want to date. Give them all a chance....someone may just spring out of nowhere to capture your thoughts and then your heart..

    Trust me...IT DOES HAPPEN AGAIN! *Big Smile, Big Smile*



    Cutie, I really do empathize with your situation. Most of us have, at one time or another, been where you are. It's a one step at a time phase out, not a giant leap that gets you over the hill. Go on the dates. And when your head wants to stop you, ignore that voice. It's a process, really. Be in the date, and by that I mean pay attention to him, the moment, try not to compare this one to the best of the ex. When the date is over, it's fair to determine whether or not you liked that person enough to see him again, but base it on that person and not the comparison. And as long as you find yourself comparing, remember to include those qualities about your ex that made him an ex. Balance the scales.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 10, 2006 22:59


    cutiepie01 write:
    Hmmmmm maybe its me that wants to make the booty call! Its just strange that when I start questioning myself, whether I'm attractive to men or why cant I meet that special person that would be willing to lose his arm out a bus window. When I'm weak and feeling intimidated, That's when he shows himself. I know I dont want to waste time with Lassy's so named "stinky the time waster". I love that. I know I want to give my time to someone that appreciates me, but its at my weakest moments that he seems to contact me. If I have something else going on, then his contacts dont effect me and I dont return the efforts. I suppose its just my selfishness and shows my insecurity of needing to feel that I am attractive to someone. That's sick. LOL Thank you all, for your comments. I never thought of myself as being insecure, or needing someone to show me I'm worth something, and I dint know where this has come from.

    Cutiepie Like every one said what you are feeling is normal and in time it will go, if you move on if you don't move on then you live with the pain so it really is up to you!! When stuff like this happens to people there is no easy choice, because we all make mistakes along the way be it as living life.. so you can listen and learn or you can live with the pain...
  • View author's info posted on Feb 10, 2006 17:43


    weelassy1 write:
    niceguylooking write:

    cutiepie01 write:
    Wee! Thats what Im thinking. I just dont want to hurt anyone else in my wake. You know I do have a way of mesmerizing men. Once I have them, I have a hard time getting rid of them. hehe.

    weelassy1 write:

    GeminiDi write:

    weelassy1 write:

    cutiepie01 write:
    Hmmmmm maybe its me that wants to make the booty call! Its just strange that when I start questioning myself, whether Im attractive to men or why cant I meet that special person that would be willing to lose his arm out a bus window. When Im weak and feeling intimidated, Thats when he shows himself. I know I dont want to waste time with Lassy's so named "stinky the time waster". I love that. I know I want to give my time to someone that appreciates me, but its at my weakest moments that he seems to contact me. If I have something else going on, then his contacts dont effect me and I dont return the efforts. I suppose its just my selfishness and shows my insecurity of needing to feel that I am attractive to someone. Thats sick. LOL Thank you all, for your comments. I never thought of myself as being insecure, or needing someone to show me Im worth something, and I dont know where this has come from.

    Hey Pat Benetar look alike...She is a hot Chick just like you.

    You want a booty call you go for it Girl. After all we women have needs to...lol

    Just Run Like the Wind from that Stinky the time waster...lol Find another you can boink if so desired.



    weelassy,

    If she continues to have any kind of relationship -- even a sexual one -- with her ex, she's not going to be able to dump him and move on to someone who will appreciate her.

    It's difficult to sustain a sexual relationship with someone with whom you've shared much more! My advice would be to move on ... don't look back. If it had been worth having, you wouldn't have felt the need to leave the relationship.

    Just my perspective since I don't really know you...

    Gem

    I did say run like the wind from Stinky the time waster..lol

    I also told her to carry on and find a new LAD whether it was for immediate sexual gratification or potential mate...lol





    You can't drive your life forward looking in the rearview mirror.

    Sure you can...lol...we women have eyes in the back of our head also..lol



    Yes, that and many other redeeming qualities ! LOL
  • View author's info posted on Feb 10, 2006 16:17


    niceguylooking write:
    cutiepie01 write:
    Wee! Thats what Im thinking. I just dont want to hurt anyone else in my wake. You know I do have a way of mesmerizing men. Once I have them, I have a hard time getting rid of them. hehe.

    weelassy1 write:

    GeminiDi write:

    weelassy1 write:

    cutiepie01 write:
    Hmmmmm maybe its me that wants to make the booty call! Its just strange that when I start questioning myself, whether Im attractive to men or why cant I meet that special person that would be willing to lose his arm out a bus window. When Im weak and feeling intimidated, Thats when he shows himself. I know I dont want to waste time with Lassy's so named "stinky the time waster". I love that. I know I want to give my time to someone that appreciates me, but its at my weakest moments that he seems to contact me. If I have something else going on, then his contacts dont effect me and I dont return the efforts. I suppose its just my selfishness and shows my insecurity of needing to feel that I am attractive to someone. Thats sick. LOL Thank you all, for your comments. I never thought of myself as being insecure, or needing someone to show me Im worth something, and I dont know where this has come from.

    Hey Pat Benetar look alike...She is a hot Chick just like you.

    You want a booty call you go for it Girl. After all we women have needs to...lol

    Just Run Like the Wind from that Stinky the time waster...lol Find another you can boink if so desired.



    weelassy,

    If she continues to have any kind of relationship -- even a sexual one -- with her ex, she's not going to be able to dump him and move on to someone who will appreciate her.

    It's difficult to sustain a sexual relationship with someone with whom you've shared much more! My advice would be to move on ... don't look back. If it had been worth having, you wouldn't have felt the need to leave the relationship.

    Just my perspective since I don't really know you...

    Gem

    I did say run like the wind from Stinky the time waster..lol

    I also told her to carry on and find a new LAD whether it was for immediate sexual gratification or potential mate...lol




    You can't drive your life forward looking in the rearview mirror.

    That is exactly what I learned...Left my husband, but after I realized I was still leaning on him too much, only to have him think it meant I wanted to get back with him. It's just not good for either person. Funny, it's how I ended up back in MI. I realized with such a young child I needed a support system. It just couldn't be my ex.

    My theory #202: The only reason to maintain a relationship with an 'ex' is because you share child/children. How does one "be friends" with someone with whom you've been intimate???
  • View author's info posted on Feb 10, 2006 15:21


    I would just like to say that you can't sit around and wait. Or for a lack of a better term...waste your precious time in the HOPES that he will come to his senses and finally figure out what his priorities are.

    I've been there...done that...I made that mistake. Ya know what? Life is to short to be sitting around waiting for someone that you KNOW in your HEART is NOT the person for you, even though you think he/she might be. The mind plays mysterious tricks on all of us! If your gut and your heart are telling you NO...you know what to do. When you add up all the things together....remember....1 + 1 always = 2....ALWAYS!!

    I say, get out there! Date as many as you want to date. Give them all a chance....someone may just spring out of nowhere to capture your thoughts and then your heart..

    Trust me...IT DOES HAPPEN AGAIN! *Big Smile, Big Smile*
  • View author's info posted on Feb 10, 2006 15:10


    cutiepie01 write:
    Well I have eyes everywhere! okay didnt any of you ever feel like you were destined to be with a certain person because....... you make many attempts to date others, but every darn time something goes awry before you have that date. im not talking once or twice, i mean for 9 months youve made several dates and before it comes, youve found out something that made you not want to go. and then you start questioning who youre really supposed to be with? and every single time, not just once in awhile but every time that ex calls and it gives you the feeling that you are being made to wait for that person at any cost. is this just insanity? or is it denial? it just seems too coincidental to happen every time. it just sets be aback to use all my eyes to see what is going to happen next. it makes you anxious and yet teaches you patience at the same time.

    I do not agree with anything you just said...Sorry you are in denial. Hun he is not that into you...Move on.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 22:07


    robtest write:

    weelassy1 write:

    niceguylooking write:

    You can't drive your life forward looking in the rearview mirror.

    Sure you can...lol...we women have eyes in the back of our head also..lol



    Wouldn't that just give you two sets of eyes looking backward, and still none looking forward ??? ROFLMAO

    Key word my Lad is I said ALSO..Indicator that plural exist.. I have four eyeballs...two infront and two at the back...Oh for Christ Sake I will admit it finally I am from outer space and have eyeballs also at the side of this wee head...BOOO....LMFAO
  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 21:16


    weelassy1 write:

    niceguylooking write:

    You can't drive your life forward looking in the rearview mirror.

    Sure you can...lol...we women have eyes in the back of our head also..lol


    Wouldn't that just give you two sets of eyes looking backward, and still none looking forward ??? ROFLMAO
  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 21:12


    GeminiDi write:
    LOL weelassy!!!

    Well it's true...lol

    Don't you recall it didn't matter what your mother was doing or what you were trying to hide...she always caught us...Damn Mum's

    Jeezs she me Mum just called again and said ARE YOU ON THAT COMPUTER...LOL...In her thick Scottish accent...For Christ sake she scares the shite out of me.

    Gotta love her...Her nick name is Scotty

    She is feistier then I...Wonder where the heck I develop such a trait
  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 19:08


    niceguylooking write:

    cutiepie01 write:
    Wee! Thats what Im thinking. I just dont want to hurt anyone else in my wake. You know I do have a way of mesmerizing men. Once I have them, I have a hard time getting rid of them. hehe.

    weelassy1 write:

    GeminiDi write:

    weelassy1 write:

    cutiepie01 write:
    Hmmmmm maybe its me that wants to make the booty call! Its just strange that when I start questioning myself, whether Im attractive to men or why cant I meet that special person that would be willing to lose his arm out a bus window. When Im weak and feeling intimidated, Thats when he shows himself. I know I dont want to waste time with Lassy's so named "stinky the time waster". I love that. I know I want to give my time to someone that appreciates me, but its at my weakest moments that he seems to contact me. If I have something else going on, then his contacts dont effect me and I dont return the efforts. I suppose its just my selfishness and shows my insecurity of needing to feel that I am attractive to someone. Thats sick. LOL Thank you all, for your comments. I never thought of myself as being insecure, or needing someone to show me Im worth something, and I dont know where this has come from.

    Hey Pat Benetar look alike...She is a hot Chick just like you.

    You want a booty call you go for it Girl. After all we women have needs to...lol

    Just Run Like the Wind from that Stinky the time waster...lol Find another you can boink if so desired.



    weelassy,

    If she continues to have any kind of relationship -- even a sexual one -- with her ex, she's not going to be able to dump him and move on to someone who will appreciate her.

    It's difficult to sustain a sexual relationship with someone with whom you've shared much more! My advice would be to move on ... don't look back. If it had been worth having, you wouldn't have felt the need to leave the relationship.

    Just my perspective since I don't really know you...

    Gem

    I did say run like the wind from Stinky the time waster..lol

    I also told her to carry on and find a new LAD whether it was for immediate sexual gratification or potential mate...lol





    You can't drive your life forward looking in the rearview mirror.

    Sure you can...lol...we women have eyes in the back of our head also..lol
  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 17:08


    cutiepie01 write:
    Wee! Thats what Im thinking. I just dont want to hurt anyone else in my wake. You know I do have a way of mesmerizing men. Once I have them, I have a hard time getting rid of them. hehe.

    weelassy1 write:

    GeminiDi write:

    weelassy1 write:

    cutiepie01 write:
    Hmmmmm maybe its me that wants to make the booty call! Its just strange that when I start questioning myself, whether Im attractive to men or why cant I meet that special person that would be willing to lose his arm out a bus window. When Im weak and feeling intimidated, Thats when he shows himself. I know I dont want to waste time with Lassy's so named "stinky the time waster". I love that. I know I want to give my time to someone that appreciates me, but its at my weakest moments that he seems to contact me. If I have something else going on, then his contacts dont effect me and I dont return the efforts. I suppose its just my selfishness and shows my insecurity of needing to feel that I am attractive to someone. Thats sick. LOL Thank you all, for your comments. I never thought of myself as being insecure, or needing someone to show me Im worth something, and I dont know where this has come from.

    Hey Pat Benetar look alike...She is a hot Chick just like you.

    You want a booty call you go for it Girl. After all we women have needs to...lol

    Just Run Like the Wind from that Stinky the time waster...lol Find another you can boink if so desired.



    weelassy,

    If she continues to have any kind of relationship -- even a sexual one -- with her ex, she's not going to be able to dump him and move on to someone who will appreciate her.

    It's difficult to sustain a sexual relationship with someone with whom you've shared much more! My advice would be to move on ... don't look back. If it had been worth having, you wouldn't have felt the need to leave the relationship.

    Just my perspective since I don't really know you...

    Gem

    I did say run like the wind from Stinky the time waster..lol

    I also told her to carry on and find a new LAD whether it was for immediate sexual gratification or potential mate...lol




    You can't drive your life forward looking in the rearview mirror.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 16:27


    GeminiDi write:

    weelassy1 write:

    cutiepie01 write:
    Hmmmmm maybe its me that wants to make the booty call! Its just strange that when I start questioning myself, whether Im attractive to men or why cant I meet that special person that would be willing to lose his arm out a bus window. When Im weak and feeling intimidated, Thats when he shows himself. I know I dont want to waste time with Lassy's so named "stinky the time waster". I love that. I know I want to give my time to someone that appreciates me, but its at my weakest moments that he seems to contact me. If I have something else going on, then his contacts dont effect me and I dont return the efforts. I suppose its just my selfishness and shows my insecurity of needing to feel that I am attractive to someone. Thats sick. LOL Thank you all, for your comments. I never thought of myself as being insecure, or needing someone to show me Im worth something, and I dont know where this has come from.

    Hey Pat Benetar look alike...She is a hot Chick just like you.

    You want a booty call you go for it Girl. After all we women have needs to...lol

    Just Run Like the Wind from that Stinky the time waster...lol Find another you can boink if so desired.



    weelassy,

    If she continues to have any kind of relationship -- even a sexual one -- with her ex, she's not going to be able to dump him and move on to someone who will appreciate her.

    It's difficult to sustain a sexual relationship with someone with whom you've shared much more! My advice would be to move on ... don't look back. If it had been worth having, you wouldn't have felt the need to leave the relationship.

    Just my perspective since I don't really know you...

    Gem

    I did say run like the wind from Stinky the time waster..lol

    I also told her to carry on and find a new LAD whether it was for immediate sexual gratification or potential mate...lol
  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 15:19


    GeminiDi write:

    weelassy1 write:
    Hey Pat Benetar look alike...She is a hot Chick just like you.

    You want a booty call you go for it Girl. After all we women have needs to...lol

    Just Run Like the Wind from that Stinky the time waster...lol Find another you can boink if so desired.



    weelassy,

    If she continues to have any kind of relationship -- even a sexual one -- with her ex, she's not going to be able to dump him and move on to someone who will appreciate her.

    It's difficult to sustain a sexual relationship with someone with whom you've shared much more! My advice would be to move on ... don't look back. If it had been worth having, you wouldn't have felt the need to leave the relationship.

    Just my perspective since I don't really know you...

    Gem


    I think that was what she said!

    Definitely agree on the find someone else to boink though. Of course then you run the risk of them wanting more than boinking ya back... Boinking is good, but sometimes it does lead to feeling of longing. I think this is where the Buddhist get their "Desire is the root of all human suffering" !!! LOL

    Men don't have a monopoly of after the fact booty calls...

    I had an exGF call me back 20 years later... She called me on the phone, and one thing led to another, and she came to Atlanta for the weekend. It was too very odd. By the end of the weekend, it was like we had never been apart all that time. And the things that drove us each crazy were still the same. With "why we had broken up in the first place" fresh on our minds, we decided to be just friends!

    STAY STRONG AND JUST SAY NO TO THE EX!!! My general rule of thumb: "One broken heart per customer" !

    Not that doesn't mean that if you would find value in simple friendship that you should totally throw the relationship away. I have found that depending on the circumstances and the other person, sometimes I can be friends afterwards, sometimes not...
  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 15:09


    "She Bang, She Bang"...William Hung


    Such a fine artist...lol

    Available only
    to logged in members

  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 11:12


    cutiepie01 write:
    Hmmmmm maybe its me that wants to make the booty call! Its just strange that when I start questioning myself, whether Im attractive to men or why cant I meet that special person that would be willing to lose his arm out a bus window. When Im weak and feeling intimidated, Thats when he shows himself. I know I dont want to waste time with Lassy's so named "stinky the time waster". I love that. I know I want to give my time to someone that appreciates me, but its at my weakest moments that he seems to contact me. If I have something else going on, then his contacts dont effect me and I dont return the efforts. I suppose its just my selfishness and shows my insecurity of needing to feel that I am attractive to someone. Thats sick. LOL Thank you all, for your comments. I never thought of myself as being insecure, or needing someone to show me Im worth something, and I dont know where this has come from.

    Hey Pat Benetar look alike...She is a hot Chick just like you.

    You want a booty call you go for it Girl. After all we women have needs to...lol

    Just Run Like the Wind from that Stinky the time waster...lol Find another you can boink if so desired.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2006 04:43


    I agree with bot Di & Wee.

    As Wee stated, this also might raise some peoples temper. But you might want to also think about the Bootie call isssue.
    Generally and again I say generally, men usually only show up every couple months, for one thing. he is your ex- for a reason, distance, temper etc..
    Do yourself a favor, Keep Movin !

    Sorry your so confused
  • View author's info posted on Feb 08, 2006 23:30


    Okay this is going to be controversial, but I am going to say it anyway...lol. No Matter how powerful and real ones feelings may be for someone, if they cannot fully and honestly return them and therfor actively love you back. these feeling means nothing.

    AND Let me tell you,that's good news.because wasting time with the wrong person is just a TIME WASTED. And when one does move on and find their right person, believe me, your not going to wish you had gotten to spend more time with Stinky the Time-Waster or Freddy Can't- Remember to Call...lol

    When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls.he shows. he wants to meet your friends. he can't keep his eyes or hands off you,and when it's time to have sex. he's more then overjoyed to oblige. I don't care if he's starting his new job as the President of the United States...lol...the next morning at 0400 ( thats 4 am ladies) He's coming up!

    Men are not complicated. although they would like you to believe that...lol

    Did they or him ever say Things are crazy right now? I've just got a ton of shite going on?...lol They would rather lose an arm out a city bus window then tell you simply, "Your not the one"

    So to all the Lassies...Move on Sister! Cut your losses and don't waste your time. Why stay in some weird dating limbo when you can move on to what will surely be a better territtory?

    Just my two pathetic cents
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