One nighters or all nighters?? Message Board

  • View author's info posted on Feb 08, 2006 23:20


    beautynbrains4u write:
    katiegrl write:
    TallBlonde50 write:
    I'd have to agree. Sex is just sex one the first date. No feelings, no real connection.....just hopping in the sack for a little gratification.
    It normally doesn't take me very long to "size up" my date, and if the sex issue comes up, it is squelched very quickly....


    I went on an online blind date a short while ago. Over coffee, the guy kept holding my hand and telling me how great I was and nudging me with his foot under the table. We'd just met!

    He talked about how successful he was and talked about his property, his accomplishments and touched on other topics, I believe, in an effort to convince me he was worldly and clever. He asked me, maybe, three questions about myself.

    I thought, "This guy wants to get laid SOOOOO BAAAAAD! He's not interested in ME one bit."

    Soon after, he asked the million dollar question. "Do you like to have sex?"

    Well .......... who doesn't? But it wasn't very subtle. After that I thought, "I suppose a relationship is out of the question now!"

    Which was okay with me because I'm still holding out for Cancun Man.

    lol

    Katie,
    Sounds like an awful date. Ya should have kicked him in the shin when he started playing under the table footsies...and then said" oh I'm sorry I suffer from restless leg syndrome"
    I would have walked out and left him eating alone, and high and dry!
    LOL


    Well, here's the age old trouble I had with that solution, Beauty..... I was afraid of hurting his feelings. Stupid, but VERY female.

    Sometimes guys call women "game-players" for doing that when they don't realize, we don't see that we're playing games. We just hem and haw sometimes in an effort not to ruin a male ego. Gets us in trouble at times too!
  • 11Comments

  • View author's info posted on Feb 07, 2006 23:10


    TallBlonde50 write:
    I'd have to agree. Sex is just sex one the first date. No feelings, no real connection.....just hopping in the sack for a little gratification.
    It normally doesn't take me very long to "size up" my date, and if the sex issue comes up, it is squelched very quickly....


    I went on an online blind date a short while ago. Over coffee, the guy kept holding my hand and telling me how great I was and nudging me with his foot under the table. We'd just met!

    He talked about how successful he was and talked about his property, his accomplishments and touched on other topics, I believe, in an effort to convince me he was worldly and clever. He asked me, maybe, three questions about myself.

    I thought, "This guy wants to get laid SOOOOO BAAAAAD! He's not interested in ME one bit."

    Soon after, he asked the million dollar question. "Do you like to have sex?"

    Well .......... who doesn't? But it wasn't very subtle. After that I thought, "I suppose a relationship is out of the question now!"

    Which was okay with me because I'm still holding out for Cancun Man.

    lol
  • View author's info posted on Feb 06, 2006 14:58


    hondo1952 write:

    beautynbrains4u write:
    " I lost control at the miracle mile,
    he had nice hair and an innocent smile.
    Like a kid on a jungle gym I..."

    What do you really think of a man/woman who "connect" on the first date? I'm really curious...not being licentious...nor am I admitting infringement of propriety(or promiscuity) (Just need your advice before I hit the town tonight...LOL). I'm curious about this age old question, and your thoughts.



    I have another question along these same lines. I have dated women that have a number rule. Sex on second date, third date etc. That gives me all kinds of ideas and most of them are not good. I guess my morality is outdated these days. I thought you had to care about someone not care about a number.


    I hate when they get like that. They complain that all we want is sex, and then treat us like a piece of meat. :o(

    Fight the good fight Hondo, and stay the course. Don't let them pressure you into having sex before you are ready! IMHO, making love is so much better than just the pure physicality of the act, not that this isn't a good thing every now and again in an established relationship.

    Of course, you do realize that when you tell them that it might be too early in the relationship, it becomes a challenge to them, and they just come on harder and harder.

    Geeeze, did their mother's never teach them that "No, means NO, not maybe" ???
  • View author's info posted on Feb 06, 2006 10:54


    beautynbrains4u write:
    " I lost control at the miracle mile,
    he had nice hair and an innocent smile.
    Like a kid on a jungle gym I..."

    What do you really think of a man/woman who "connect" on the first date? I'm really curious...not being licentious...nor am I admitting infringement of propriety(or promiscuity) (Just need your advice before I hit the town tonight...LOL). I'm curious about this age old question, and your thoughts.


    I have another question along these same lines. I have dated women that have a number rule. Sex on second date, third date etc. That gives me all kinds of ideas and most of them are not good. I guess my morality is outdated these days. I thought you had to care about someone not care about a number.
  • View author's info Photo Verified posted on Feb 06, 2006 07:00


    cutiepie01 write:
    How do you spell menage e tois? thats what you say when you feel like youve already done this, right? or is it a french pastry? I love those. hehehe. No really I feel like Ive already had this conversation today.


    Hi Cutiepie!

    I think you mean "deja vu" - the feeling you've already seen or heard something before. LOL
  • View author's info posted on Feb 05, 2006 17:37


    beautynbrains4u write:

    robtest write:

    beautynbrains4u write:

    robtest write:
    .... you end up with odd situations of never hearing from them again because of their embarassment.



    Or yours




    No emarassment here... If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't do it in the first place...

    And Goodlife, I guess you have just insured that if you ever get on IM that you will be flooded with cybersex requests... What kinda signals are you sending out BEFORE the first date???

    Sometimes the chemistry does boil over though, but I would tend to agree on the anticipation...



    Rob...I was being risque...do you get it???


    No, but I do now! LOL, only had that happen once, while in college, with the stress of final exams my junior years! Becoming 45 in a couple weeks though, I do fear the day is coming... Or not coming, pardon the pun...
  • View author's info posted on Feb 05, 2006 16:51


    Mandalay207 write:
    "One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble"


    LMAO!!


    You got that right. R & R capital of the world.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 05, 2006 16:02


    beautynbrains4u write:

    robtest write:
    .... you end up with odd situations of never hearing from them again because of their embarassment.



    Or yours



    No emarassment here... If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't do it in the first place...

    And Goodlife, I guess you have just insured that if you ever get on IM that you will be flooded with cybersex requests... What kinda signals are you sending out BEFORE the first date???

    Sometimes the chemistry does boil over though, but I would tend to agree on the anticipation...
  • View author's info posted on Feb 05, 2006 15:45


    "One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble"


    LMAO!!

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  • View author's info posted on Feb 05, 2006 08:32


    bobsthename write:
    Lorie Laughing Sock?



    Bob, you got a lot of extra characters there, but none of which is the "r" that should be there... Those 100 men you slept with are effecting your mind in a bad bad way... LOL



    sharp1 write:
    45 minutes is a long time Bob...slow woman I'd think, because it only took me 2 minutes to size anyone up.

    Interesting...your first post Bob which talks about when you wait to have sex on the first date it is more meaningful, but when you have sex the first night it is just that...for sex. Interesting, because I recently read an article that stated your very views. If men are REALLY into you, they will want to wait to have sex. And if they find you attractive, chemistry is there, and want sex the first night...it's purely sexual and even if they see you again, it won't be a long lasting relationship.
    When guys want to wait...it shows they respect you on all levels.


    I think the numbers I read were more along the lines of 8 minutes for men, and about 20 minutes for women. That left me wondering how these "Speed Dating" things that seem popular here in Atlanta actually work out?

    I agree that too soon is "just sex", but I think waiting allows you to "make love"...
  • View author's info Photo Verified posted on Feb 05, 2006 07:39


    I believe to each their own, but for me, it's a definite no. I prefer to get to know someone first before being intimate. Sex changes everything. Expectations come into play that wouldn't have, and if you're not both on the same page, it can be very upsetting.

    Too much alcohol isn't great either, sure it knocks down your inhibitions, but I for one want to remember what took place and feel good about it.

    Guess it all depends on what you're looking for, one night stands can serve a purpose, but it's just not me.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 04, 2006 22:33


    I agree with the thought that each one merits it's own situation, but I tend to shy away from the first nighters, as if it is too early in the relationship for the lady, especially if alcohol is involved, you end up with odd situations of never hearing from them again because of their embarassment.
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