Profile Criteria - Yours & Theirs Message Board

  • View author's info Author posted on Jan 18, 2006 05:14


    Do you adhere to the criteria stated in your own profile? I say I don't respond to those without photos, and every time I break this rule, it seems to backfire. Don't know if they don't read my profile or whether they figure they'll give it a try, but it sure eliminates rejection after a photo has been provided and there's no attraction.

    If a man's profile states a certain age, body type, etc. I now pay attention & eliminate myself if I don't match his criteria. Saves a lot of time and frustration.

    I've also gotten to a point where I don't even consider a member who is not preferred. I feel if you're truly interested, you'll somehow find the $20.00 per month.

    Spelling is a pet peeve of mine & if they can't be bothered to make sure their profile is spelled correctly, to me it's an indication of how serious they are & how intelligent they are too.

    Would like to hear your thoughts & opinions.
  • 30Comments

  • View author's info posted on Feb 01, 2006 15:22


    TallBlonde50 write:
    Actually Dawn, I GASPED....inwardly, of course. We sat and chatted over coffee for a short time....a VERY short time, and I came home. On the way home, I thought GEEZ, what a schmuck! He basically lied about everything in his profile. Why would he do that, when EVENTUALLY, he is gonna meet someone. Well, it was me he met, and he's damned lucky I didn't head for the hills....while laghing my azz off!!!



    Perhaps if you had reacted that way he might have caught a clue! But then again, perhaps not... ROFL
  • View author's info posted on Jan 31, 2006 04:20


    Hi CutiePie!

    No, I didn't know any of them, but do read the Mississauga News which is a local newspaper. Have you ever been to Mississauga, which is a suburb of Toronto? I've been to Florida a number of times, Fort Myers, Orlando, Florida Keys, but never Sebring. How did you know these guys?
  • View author's info posted on Jan 30, 2006 15:43


    READY502 write:
    Why not put your best foot forward? I feel we're all on here for one reason or another, it's marketing or advertising yourself in hopes of connecting with someone.

    The photos leave a lot to be desired in many cases, those with sunglasses don't let you see what their face looks like, the phone snaps always look bad because of the flash or angle, and it's always better to have more than one shot.

    The profile titles are often mispelled & yet it's your first impression. If you get past the photo & title, and into the person's profile & they've got poor language or spelling it's a big turnoff for me. There's no excuse for it now that there's spellcheck!

    Take a little time putting your profile together, give a little detail as to your likes & dislikes, hobbies, etc. to interest a potential partner. If it's not worth your effort, why would someone else be interested?


    LIE folks Lie. I was honest in my profile and now everyone hates me. Even my deceased mother gets hate mail about me.

    lol
  • View author's info posted on Jan 30, 2006 11:41


    Why not put your best foot forward? I feel we're all on here for one reason or another, it's marketing or advertising yourself in hopes of connecting with someone.

    The photos leave a lot to be desired in many cases, those with sunglasses don't let you see what their face looks like, the phone snaps always look bad because of the flash or angle, and it's always better to have more than one shot.

    The profile titles are often mispelled & yet it's your first impression. If you get past the photo & title, and into the person's profile & they've got poor language or spelling it's a big turnoff for me. There's no excuse for it now that there's spellcheck!

    Take a little time putting your profile together, give a little detail as to your likes & dislikes, hobbies, etc. to interest a potential partner. If it's not worth your effort, why would someone else be interested?
  • View author's info posted on Jan 23, 2006 13:05


    robtest write:


    I had a misguided friend that has a 9 year relationship with a married woman. Eventually, she got divorced and then they broke up. But I guess that does prove that you can have an LTR with a married person. ROFLMAO...

    LOL Rob!

    That most definitely does prove it out, I had not thought of that angle, but think we covered that in the infidelity thread. My sister-in-law had an affair with a married man at her work for about 6 yrs., she was number 7 or 8 at work, but felt she was unique & different & he'd leave his wife for her. It was totally destructive for her, changed her personality & eventually both he & she got fired. She got fired first, told him & he being such a sensitive soul, freaked that he might be next. She said "excuse me, but could we deal with the fact that I have actually been fired" - oh the signs we ignore lol! Eventually once they weren't working together, things ended.

    Don't know why anyone would get involved with someone who is married, unless they want a no strings attached relationship, but then someone always goes & changes the rules. It's the don't do unto others rule, I wouldn't want it so why do it to someone else.

    Each to their own, but I definitely move right on by if I see it on a profile.

    I think the common denominator throughout this thread is we'd all really like honesty - saves a lot of time & frustration & you always get found out in the long run anyhow.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 23, 2006 11:43


    READY502 write:
    Thanks everyone for all your great comments!

    What baffles me is when a man's profile says he is looking for LTR or marriage & then his match requirements include married women?

    What's up with that??? Another good indicator to pass on by is my take on it.


    I had a misguided friend that has a 9 year relationship with a married woman. Eventually, she got divorced and then they broke up. But I guess that does prove that you can have an LTR with a married person. ROFLMAO...
  • View author's info posted on Jan 23, 2006 04:51


    Thanks everyone for all your great comments!

    What baffles me is when a man's profile says he is looking for LTR or marriage & then his match requirements include married women?

    What's up with that??? Another good indicator to pass on by is my take on it.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 22, 2006 09:47


    libitofafrica writes:
    You are soooooo right Katiegirl, the first mention of baggage tells me the guy is "full" of baggage because just mentioning baggage creates baggage. Plus anyone who doesn't have baggage hasn't lived. We all have baggage, it is an individual choice to hang on to it or attempt to let it go.

    And i think what we say in our profiles also says what we are not saying. For example, if someone says "I enjoy life and love having fun." Hellloo, isn't that a natural human thing to "want" to do? lol

    So perhaps what the person is saying is that he/she doesn't believe that women/men enjoy life and want to have fun. Therefore, the relationship is doomed because of preconceive, subconscious ideas that the other sex doesn't like having fun. So we've set ourselves up for failure even before we meet the person.

    I've got to admit my profile reads like a consistantly, inconsistent p sy c h o, so I'm always amazed when people email me or wink. I was feeling whimsical when I wrote it and it has grown on me. ;~)


    True! And I steer clear of anyone who includes "warnings" in their profiles. Like:

    - if you aren't slim or athletic, don't bother me

    - no meth heads, drunks or skanks welcome

    - you'd better know how to cook or you can just go to the next profile

    I mean, how in heaven can they expect to attract ANY woman? What were they thinking when they wrote THAT in their profile.

    Oh well, helps us weed them out easily.....lol
  • View author's info posted on Jan 21, 2006 10:19


    TallBlonde50 write:

    They had been divorced for well over 2 years and it DID quietly fade to black!! I was a bit disappointed, but none the worse for wear!!!


    It is good that we get mileage from learning from our past mistakes! :o) Some would say that makes us picky...
  • View author's info posted on Jan 21, 2006 09:50


    TallBlonde50 write:
    I couldn't agree more. The dead giveaway with this guy was when he said "I didn't want the divorce, and I am still in love with her".... That was it. I was OUTTA there!!!


    That sounds like an EARLY stage of denial. How long had they been divorced? That one breaks both of my concerns, and it would be time to quietly fade to black on seeing them again...
  • View author's info posted on Jan 21, 2006 09:17


    TallBlonde50 write:
    I swear, rob....your luck is about as bad as mine! I met a really nice guy about a year ago. We hit it off, he was tall, good looking, and a really nice guy.. Unfortunately he didn't pass the "over the divorce and ready for a relationship" test either! All he talked about was his X. Like to drove me crazy, so I left!!!


    That is the catch22 of talking about EXs. I mean it is a common ground. Everyone has them or they wouldn't be here (well except the married people), but how one speaks about their EXs is the key factor...

    To me, you can hear volumes about someone by how they speak of their EXs, and there are two things I am looking for. 1.) They are over the person they were with and don't want to rekindle and 2.) They are over the relationship drama, have reconciled it for themselves and they are ready to move on.

    I guess this emotional criteria is more important than physical criteria, aside from the fact they were dishonest in their profile. LOL
  • View author's info posted on Jan 21, 2006 08:20


    TallBlonde50 write:
    I've said it before, and I'll say it again... HONESTY in your profile should be arequirement. Example....I had IMs from 2 different guys the other day. One was from TX, the other CA. Both had photos posted. I talked with each one for a short time, only to find out BOTH was from AFRICA... Yep, Africa, but neither had that info in their profile. They had the state where their mothers live/lived. Personally, I think that is pretty damned sneaky and I told them both that if they live in Africa, they should have that in their profile.

    I also had a invitation for coffee from a guy from another site. In his profile, he said he was 5'10" and athletic build. We met and he was about 2" shorter than me and had a huge potbelly. I didn't know that was considered athletic!!! He also had a pic posted, but the pic didn't look anything like him. I am to the point iof giving up on these sites. The dishonesty is driving me crazy!!! LOL


    I once met a woman for drinks. Half kiddingly, she had me stand back to back with her, since she was 5'8" and had on 2" heels, just to make sure I could pass the height test! LOL... Well, I passed the test. Unfortunately, she didn't pass the "I'm over my divorce and ready for a relationship test" :o(
  • View author's info posted on Jan 20, 2006 11:22


    robtest write:
    Now things like lying about yourself, posting old pictures, calling someone you barely know at 2:30am... that is just downright rude, and shows poor upbringing and bad manners.

    I do agree that if they are serious that they should be a paying member! You want to find the love of your life but you are not serious enough about it to spend $20 a month(this site is fairly cheap btw)???


    Hey Robtest!

    Thanks for your post. The 2:30am & 5:30am calls happened about 3 times & although there was a 5 hour time difference, I figured it wasn't that difficult to remember & also thought it was terribly inconsiderate. The last call I was so mad that I told him never to call here again & I've not heard from him since, so I'm hoping he got the message.

    I sometimes bend the rules too, but when something doesn't feel right, I'm learning to listen right away now. The photo tells me if there is attraction & there is no way to decline without them knowing it's their appearance that caused the decline & I really hate doing that & can just avoid it entirely if a photo is available.

    I've read many of your posts and must say you've had great upbringing & your manners seem impeccable, definitely a gentleman & quite refreshing!

    I know there are many non-paying members who disagree, but I too feel if you're seriously looking for a partner, somehow you can come up with $20.00. Many "ghosts" have caused much turmoil on the forums & I've suggested to MM to offer a one month trial (many other sites do this) & then either join, or have their profiles removed. I'd feel better knowing I was dealing with paying members.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 20, 2006 08:45


    katiegrl write:
    robtest writes:


    ... I do agree that if they are serious that they should be a paying member! You want to find the love of your life but you are not serious enough about it to spend $20 a month(this site is fairly cheap btw)???


    Is that a dig, Rob!
    You ARE aware this is the month right after Christmas, aren't you????
    lol


    Not a dig, merely an observation on internet dating in general. Actually, more of a complaint from some of my experiences on other sites.

    But Katie girl, according to your profile, the monthly fee would be less than .2% of your salary. What was your point again? LOL
  • View author's info posted on Jan 19, 2006 21:36


    robtest writes:


    ... I do agree that if they are serious that they should be a paying member! You want to find the love of your life but you are not serious enough about it to spend $20 a month(this site is fairly cheap btw)???


    Is that a dig, Rob!
    You ARE aware this is the month right after Christmas, aren't you????
    lol
  • View author's info posted on Jan 19, 2006 21:32






    I wish people would be totally honest on their profiles and say UPFRONT exactly what they're looking for. It would save a LOT of time and a whole lot of hurt feelings.

    Gem



    I don't know if my profile says it or not but I'm looking for the last love of my life. Someone to hold hands while we swing on the front porch, someone that you can sit for hours without saying a word and just look at each other and smile and be content and happy. I want to know the joy of the little things of life, a touch, a kiss, brushing the hair out of my eyes with the back of her hand.

    That's pretty simple isn't it? Is that asking for too much out of life.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 19, 2006 19:12


    cutiepie01 write:
    i had a guy last nite ask me what i was looking for. i asked if he read my profile. he said i dont feel like reading. then his next question was baby do you want to meet me this weekend? ugh!!! yea right! hondo i gotcha, i understand. but i dont think rob is gonna be driving to sebring anytime soon, hes too busy. lol


    It's all a matter of priority I guess. My children come first and then comes finding the love of my life. I like to drive myself.

    One of the other profile descriptions I forgot to mention. I met a lady for coffee and she had no picture. Her profile said she was "athletic" and she was...if you were looking for a linebacker.

    I guess we can all tell those stories. It has been an experience. Soon to come to an end I hope.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 19, 2006 15:02


    The only rule is that there are no rules???? But there should be manners!

    As far as what is posted in the profiles, I will tend to shy away from things that are explicitly a mismatch, but will tend to bend the rules on contacting them if it is kinda close and I feel a possible attraction.

    I find myself being contacted by women who are bending the rules sometimes themselves.

    I don't see this in itself a problem. Chemistry is such a hard thing to judge/gauge, perhaps it is worth a shot, what the hell. If they don't respond or say no, you are no worse off than if you didn't try.

    Pictures? Well, I consider a picture a minimum requirement. Some might consider it superficial, but I am looking for a balance of mental, emotional and physical characteristics, that best as I have been able to determine provide the correct formula for chemistry for me. Now back in the pre-Tom&Meg Movie on internet dating, digital cameras were not popular, but even back then, you could pretty much take a camera, get a $4 roll of film, take a picture, pay $5 to have it developed and find someone with a scanner to get it in computer form, so it was kind of a valid excuse, but that was well before Y2k!!!

    On an occassion, when I am really bored, I will correspond and perhaps even meet someone without a picture. "Back in the day", I had one tell me she didn't have a picture but she was a model. Yeah right... LOL... Actually though, I stood in the bar where we were meeting for drinks and looked at her for about 10 minutes, thinking to myself "There ain't no way in the world that there is a woman that good looking here to meet me!"... Well, she was. We went out a dozen times and then decided to be friends. It seemed to me that she hadn't been divorced long enough, and being that good looking, she had men (just looking for sex???) filling her email box up after she posted a picture, so she had little time (or was that little interest???).

    Now things like lying about yourself, posting old pictures, calling someone you barely know at 2:30am... that is just downright rude, and shows poor upbringing and bad manners.

    I do agree that if they are serious that they should be a paying member! You want to find the love of your life but you are not serious enough about it to spend $20 a month(this site is fairly cheap btw)???
  • View author's info posted on Jan 19, 2006 08:13


    Hi Gem!

    Sad but true, many seem to have no intention of really wanting a relationship & that's okay, but please don't waste my time!

    Also sad but true, many are only interested in sex & that's okay too, but not what I'm interested in. I prefer a man who uses the big head for thinking LOL!

    Takes a lot of weeding out, but eventually you learn what to look for & shorten up the process. If there's a sexual nature to their s_creen name or profile title, I pass. If there's not much else on their profile other than sex, I pass. Don't get me wrong ... I do enjoy it too, but only with that special one & don't feel a public dating site is where to let it all hang out!

    I sympathize with your "sigh", I feel that way too, guess we just have to keep hanging in there, the right one is out there & in the meantime, I'm just enjoying the friendships & forums.
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