Who pays for What Romance

  • View author's info posted on Apr 12, 2006 15:42


    cutiepie01 write:
    happysun write:
    I think that is nothing more antipathetic than a man that allow a woman to pay from beginning. Especially if he has money. And much more...her to come for her money. Great. He is showing from beginning that he is testing her like a mouse in laboratory. The men are expecting in a woman the sexual instinct, the mother in stink and the friend instinct.Am even not talking about the look. Why I must to not expect the normal safety feeling. If he is a man, a not just a boy with a pe..nis, than I must see it. That he has some brain, and some possibilities and some results.I don"t have anything against to pay for me.God, some money for a flight, or some dinners, you will always find, but also you will find out that this man is very cheap, even if he is a millionaire.

    I had a man just a few weeks ago, ask me to fly to chicago. he was willing to pay for everything, but got indignent when i suggested that he fly here. this one and only conversation lasted possibly 10 minutes. can you imagine a man after 2 minutes asking for a woman to fly to him, but would not even entertain the thought of him doing the traveling. I thought he was just joking at first, but he said he has the money and i must come to him.. what is this, a high dollar long distance escort service?

    I don't think it's that, cutie, I think it's more like generally (again, men, I'm saying generally!) want their women in their "lion's den" (i.e. their place where they're more comfortable, familiar, know where to go, what to do, etc.).
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  • View author's info posted on Apr 12, 2006 09:19


    RussianSnowGirl write:
    The question is about the courtesy...it is typical american way of thinking... oh... who should pay? me? or she?.... of course it is better when she will pay.. you guys will save few hundred dollars...hahahaha....be gentelmen... I cant imagine me paying the bill in the restaraunt after the romantic dinner with a hadsome man!...Yuikieeees..... I can hire a servant!

    you said it sister, good pic...too...
  • View author's info posted on Apr 08, 2006 07:49


    The question is about the courtesy...it is typical american way of thinking... oh... who should pay? me? or she?.... of course it is better when she will pay.. you guys will save few hundred dollars...hahahaha....be gentelmen... I cant imagine me paying the bill in the restaraunt after the romantic dinner with a hadsome man!...Yuikieeees..... I can hire a servant!

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  • View author's info posted on Apr 08, 2006 06:41


    bobsthename write:
    When I originally started on MM, I thought that I would pay for that special someone to fly out to see me. I made a couple of offers, one lady outright refused citing that she would pay her own way - a very attractive lady, a model, with average income. And that's how I see it should be. If a woman isn't going to invest in seeing me, then she isn't worth it. If I'm paying to fly her out, how much different is that from prostitution? When the woman arrives, you can bet that I pay for everything when she gets here - part of being wealthy, I have always felt, is picking up the tab. But I'm not going to fly her here to see me. I might be talked into paying half, but even then, I'd feel a whole lot better about the woman if she paid her way. Such a woman I have met on MM is about to do that with me...coming a long distance to see me. Is she in for a treat!

    I GET A LITTLE AFRAID TO SPEND SO MUCH TO MEET SOMEONE WHO DID NOT LOOK LIKE THERE PICTURES, WERE THREE FEET SHORTER AND NO TEETH, AFTER THEY PRESENTED IT ALL DIFFERENT, SORRY, BUT IF THEY WANT TO MEET ME, THEN THE MAN IS A MAN ABOUT IT AND THAT IS HOW I LOOK AT IT, WHY SPEND MY MONEY ON A DATE THAT MAYNOT WORK OUT, AND WHAT IS THIS PROSITUTE STUFF, THEY ARE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME ON THE FIRST MEET AND GREET, JJEEEEZZZ, IT IS NOT A SITE FOR CHEAP SKATES, MM IS FOR THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO WOULD NOT MIND DOING THAT FOR THE RIGHT ONE, LIFE IS RISKS, MOST RICH MEN DO NOT MIND THEM AND A TICKET IS A DROP IN THE BUCKET FREQUENT FLYER MILES CAN HANDLE, LMAO...
  • View author's info posted on Jan 17, 2006 23:03


    Do you realize that you are all talking about money and affection as if it is a BAD thing. It is about having the opportunity to find out if there is compatibility, maybe even love. Why would anyone who really cares, and has the money to spent put someone he admires enough to meet, into a possible hardship? That would show him if she is truly interested???? Why would she spent the time and effort if she wasn't interested. Isn't that the reason we are publicly announcing our deepest desires.....to meet someone? Are really feeling too unworthy to give or accept a gift without feeling obligated to match the gift? Bob, money is nothing but green energy you happen to have more of it than others. Other people may have more brains than you are...who cares, what's the difference. If there is someone out there you want to meet, go and meet her, don't think about money, think about how fortunate you are for the opportunity to become truly wealthy. PEACE
  • View author's info posted on Jan 17, 2006 22:33


    bobsthename write:
    When I originally started on MM, I thought that I would pay for that special someone to fly out to see me. I made a couple of offers, one lady outright refused citing that she would pay her own way - a very attractive lady, a model, with average income. And that's how I see it should be. If a woman isn't going to invest in seeing me, then she isn't worth it. If I'm paying to fly her out, how much different is that from prostitution? When the woman arrives, you can bet that I pay for everything when she gets here - part of being wealthy, I have always felt, is picking up the tab. But I'm not going to fly her here to see me. I might be talked into paying half, but even then, I'd feel a whole lot better about the woman if she paid her way. Such a woman I have met on MM is about to do that with me...coming a long distance to see me. Is she in for a treat!


    There are many different views to this depending on your own philosophy and cultural background. In some countries a true gentleman (whatever this means) pays for everything and its not considered as "prostitution". Many of the scandinavian countries where women are very independent, with their own budgets, they pay for their expenses, or at least they offer to pay half. I suppose a man should offer to pay, but I also find it very charming and respectful when a woman has an interest of a man by offering to share some of the costs. Just the thought of sharing something tells me that the other side is aware of his or her partner.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 02, 2006 02:10


    bobsthename write:
    When I originally started on MM, I thought that I would pay for that special someone to fly out to see me. I made a couple of offers, one lady outright refused citing that she would pay her own way - a very attractive lady, a model, with average income. And that's how I see it should be. If a woman isn't going to invest in seeing me, then she isn't worth it. If I'm paying to fly her out, how much different is that from prostitution? When the woman arrives, you can bet that I pay for everything when she gets here - part of being wealthy, I have always felt, is picking up the tab. But I'm not going to fly her here to see me. I might be talked into paying half, but even then, I'd feel a whole lot better about the woman if she paid her way. Such a woman I have met on MM is about to do that with me...coming a long distance to see me. Is she in for a treat!


    I've been thinking about this and I have to say, I prefer a man, who approaches ME first, to come to see ME, if he can swing it. I met a few men that way when I lived in Ottawa and I had a great time showing them the sites and making reservations at trendy restaurants so that he didn't have to worry about that stuff. I also find the best weekend deals for car rentals for him, try to swing a good deal with his hotel if he wants, and know the best way in and out of the airport. Now that I live in Toronto, I'm learning to do the same here.

    I've had the most fun meeting my gentleman traveller at the airport and get a kick out of the look on his face when he recognises me standing by the carousel, waiting for him. Then I take him to his hotel via limousine. (It costs about $45-$50 by cab to the city's downtown, but the limo is a flat rate $35)

    That way, the ice has been broken in a fun way and he can suggest how much time we spend together by inviting me to dinner or lunch or out for drinks. I've never met a man I didn't like except once, when I met an arrogant government hotshot who flew in from Calgary on business and arranged to meet me and we hated each other from minute one. But if it happened again, I would feel comfortable bowing out and staying home in my familiar surroundings. If I went to meet HIM, I would feel trapped locking myself in my hotel room and not answering the phone until my flight departs for home.

    I don't beat around the bush on MM. I've said a dozen times, when I have money ... I have it. But often, as is the artist/writer's modus operandi, I'm not exactly rolling in cash all the time. So, if a millionaire contacted me and told me to fly over to meet him on my own dime ... I would giggle quietly and change the subject. It wouldn't happen.

    THEN I would feel like a "ho" or an escort, as tho my company would be viewed as a simple business transaction involving mandatory sex. I'm looking for love, not a strategic biz alliance.

    It's better for me if a man comes to get me, NOT the other way around. I might be attracted and I might be interested, but it's NOT business and cannot be organized that way. I think I speak for quite a few women when I say, "We want to be wined and dined and romanced. And if it is done in a gentlemanly, confident, generous, chivalrous way ... the gentleman won't regret it."

    And that's not to imply we'd just hop in the sack to repay a fine dinner. I think dinner and fine wine is money well spent by a man for charming company, a tempting decolletage, and envious glances from other men who are thinking what a lucky bastard HE is! LOL

    Besides, you can argue until you explode on how women should do this and do that ... butit doesn't change the fact that we want the romance and men want the sex. It takes a skilled potential amour to give in order to get.

    And BTW - the car I'm picked up in, the income, the stock portfolio, property and assets AND the amount of money spent on me is irrelevant. The quality of conversation, humour, respect, chemistry and closeness is what wins my heart every time. I'm also a sucker for a strong hugger and a great french kisser. LOL
  • View author's info posted on Dec 30, 2005 12:42


    bobsthename write:
    it's Ok niceguy...pass me the joint and we'll sort this out with some serious thinking.


    sounds good to me Bob ! LOL
  • View author's info posted on Dec 30, 2005 04:30


    bobsthename write:
    OH give me the beat boys and free my soul...

    Just got back from a great day of skiing and a wonderful dinner and lots of wine. Let's see if I can still write...

    Well...let's see now. Second date fly backs? Hmmm...if I was hooked on the girl, I'd want to fly her back ASAP. Now that kind of sucks because then she is going to know I'm vulnerable. I say NO WAY! Split the ticket cost. Then you'll know it's mutual.

    Secondly...you can't possibly expect someone that is tied up with so much activity to fly out to see you on the first date now can we? I'm in the middle of selling one of my Angel Investments right now for $XX million and you want me to hop on a plane to check you out? Not going to happen. You have to come meet me. I can tell you, where driving is involved, on 85% of the first dates, I've met my match at their location, not mine. So don't think I'm a jerk about it. But where flying is involved, I'm definitely not there. Not on a first date. But I will accept splitting the cost of the ticket.


    Bob, I read alot of your posts and sometimes I laugh, sometimes I think, this guy has to be kidding. But I think this one really takes the cake.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 30, 2005 01:22


    BlondeLightning write:
    Hi Everyone!

    Hey Bob, your original post was interesting. I have a suggestion for you my friend to add here.

    How about flying to where your lady lives, staying in a 5 star Hotel and get two rooms or an ajoining suite, renting a nice vehicle from the local Avis, Hertz, or whatever rental car agency while there. Mercedes, Cadilliac, Continental, BMW, etc. Granted it is obvious that the gentleman pays the way. It is also stipulated to her that there are no "Strings" attached and nothing expected either. A gentleman always pays for everything as far as I am concerned. Have a fun time just allowing her to choose where she wants to go spend the time, as she might be more comfortable on her own turf than flying her to yours. She might also feel more secure if she in in her environment also, not yours. Then if all goes well, ask her if she would like you to fly her to your area (town), or another place of her choice the next time you two meet. Just a suggestion to ponder! Oh yeah, don't forget the flowers and chocolates for her when you first meet, and every time you meet also. A very important tidbit!


    Blonde ... why are you still single? Could you maybe teach your romantic ideas in an evening course and train hundreds of other men to think like you? LOL
    Then, I think, we'd have a lot more hunks to choose from!
  • View author's info posted on Dec 29, 2005 16:42


    bobsthename write:
    That's right goodlife, he didn't consider her his equal, so he paid the way for her first class plane ticket. My equal is going to split the cost of a ticket to show me that she is serious about seeing me, and not just fooling around. If someone can't spend $200 to see me, when I'm going to spend a thousand dollars plus on entertaining and sharing good times with them...they aren't worth the time.


    Bob, I predict you're going to die a rich, worn-out, lonely, unkind, bitter old man. I feel like hugging you close for a while in sympathy.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 29, 2005 14:26


    So are you saying by you paying for her to come see you that it's like prostitution? So are you saying that if she comes to see you that you expect se-x from her? Just where do you get off predetermining the outcome of meeting someone for the first time and dictating they need to have se-x with you? If your truly wealthy which Im sure your not you would never ask for them to pay or go halves, lol. Much less have se-x with you. Maybe your mommy will give you an allowance to get her there to see you,lol.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 28, 2005 18:13


    I think if a guy is serious about meeting a woman, he will take the time and pay to visit her.

    The woman flying to meet him, he puts no effort into the meeting.

    Just my opinion
  • View author's info posted on Dec 28, 2005 17:22


    dormavirgo write:
    Jemajap You need to come kick some bootie in Barbados for me..You tough cookie,
    I think You could knock out my x to be in round one.
    I wish he was divorcing me and not me.You know he needs to meet someone like you about now...
    Pretty x military and special ops friends..wink

    Dorm...You know, no matter what BS he is shooting your way..Look at that beautiful son you both conceived. He is precious.
    You and I have spoken..Everything will be fine.
    If he p**"s's you off too much, we'll go to Barbados ourselves with some of my ganja smoking, machete carrying, Jamaican cousins...lol
    Stay Sweet..lol

    Sharon

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  • View author's info posted on Dec 28, 2005 10:47


    thegoodlife2005 write:
    Oh. Dang. Missed that. Maybe because I don't often pay much attention to what Bob says anyway? HAHAHAH - - - sorry Bob, just messing with you . . .

    Rosannadanna say: "That's very different, nevermind."


    RosannaScanna used to say that all the time, and Rita AlderWerds just laughed and laughed...
  • View author's info posted on Dec 28, 2005 10:38


    thegoodlife2005 write:
    Jama, I just scanned the topic and didn't see the word "prostitution" even once . . . until YOU brought it up!

    I've done what you've done: all-expense-paid-trips (including spa treatments!) with NO promise of sex. This is not prostitution, no one suggested that it was. What I AM saying is that it's not "proper." Despite our unwillingness to equate money with sex, the hope (nay, expecation) was still there on the part of the men.

    Trust me, if your date did not get a sexual payback, he felt cheated. If you DID have sex with him of your own accord, it doesn't matter what YOU thought about about it . . . because HE still thinks he paid for the sex.

    This is nothing against YOU . . . or ME . . . for going on these trips . . . because we were "clear" about our OWN ideas about not trading money for sex . . . but I'm just sayin'. It doesn't matter what WE think . . . the men are going to think what they think regardless of our moral posturing.

    I no longer fly out to meet a man on the first date. It means I get fewer trips to 5-star-hotels and indulgent spa treatments, but what I gain is self-respect and QUALITY relationships with men who MEAN BUSINESS when it comes to finding their very own Ms. Right. The quality far outweighs what I USED to get in the form of self-indulgent fripperies and wasted time with rich men, who in the end, only turned out to be users/losers.


    Pppppssssttt... scan harder, or perhaps even read! It is in the middle of Bob's paragraph...
  • View author's info posted on Dec 28, 2005 10:11


    MMMMMMM...LET'S SEE!!!
    I man winks at me, shows interest in me, wants to meet me.....He initiated contact with me.Even if he didn't do any of these and he wants to meet me. the answer is simple. HE PAYS!!!!
    How does one associate that logic with prostitution? only (bob) knows. prostitution....the exchange of sex for money.
    if she flies out there to see you and you have sex with her..then you are "prostituting her" you are taking her money and havng sex with her.
    I just went on a trip ..ALL EXPENSES PAID.Ground rules were set, No, sex involved ..how is that prostitution?
    I think I know where this is going..I will let it continue.
    if the man agrees to flying the woman to meet him and covering all expenses. he is showing that he is truly interested, and will spare no expense.
    Good luck to the women, whom flies out to see you and pay their own way, and worse yet...What if you were not worth it? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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  • View author's info posted on Dec 28, 2005 09:29


    Tough topic...

    It is effected by so many things. Cultural upbringing, financial status, personal preference...

    I was raised that a man pays the bills by my father. He was from a different time and place. Today it is very different. Each individual you encounter might have a different methodology... Some women enjoy the compliment when you pay the bill, some women are offended by it's implications...

    I think each couple should determine what is best for them through communication. I think sharing based on what each can contribute proportionately is mathmatically equal. It would depend on how much each partner makes.

    When meeting for drinks/dinner on a first "date", I have noticed a correlation between women insisting on paying "their half" and their disappearing. I normally take it as a bad sign.

    It seems to me that if a couple is to be a couple, then they pool their resources. I have found "bill paying and checking accounts" in marriages where both partners work a very interesting study. I guess the first few meetings are where the foundations of that are begun.

    Anywho, Who Should Pay? How about the one that had the best time??? Then the success of the meeting could be gauged by the scramble for the check.

    Of course, the thought crossed my mind Bob, that perhaps you should fly to see them. You got the big bucks, take the time to make it happen. No offense dude, but who really wants to be flown into Canada in the middle of winter???
  • View author's info posted on Dec 28, 2005 01:48


    How do you feel about going all the way out to meet HER, Bob? Isn't it nicer to pick your date up and take her someplace nice? ;)

    Actually, about a year ago, an MM gentleman offered to fly me to his place for dinner. I would have gone too, NOT because of anything more than it sounded like an absolutely, totally, dreamy, romantic experience! And if he had turned out to be less than a gentleman in his offer, I would have left and reimbursed him.

    But, alas, I was tied up with a client? And the white knight couldn't swing the dinner offer for the next day because HE had a committment the day after.

    So, did I call my client and tell him he'd just have to wait until next week 'cause I had a hot date that involved "flying in for dinner?" La dee da?

    No, da*mn it! I couldn't. And I didn't!

    I love spontaneity. I love romance and chivalry. That offer was toooooo cool. But, I couldn't go. I regretted it at the time, but now I'm glad I put my client first before money, glamour, and romance. I feel it proved there "ain't no mine dust on me!" LOL
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