The Ultimate Turn-On Romance

  • View author's info Author posted on Dec 06, 2005 18:17


    Wondering what turns men and women on like nothing else?

    If you're thinking that it's her sexy lingerie or his new cologne, think again. According to a recent study, nothing gets the opposite sex heated up more then sexual confidence.

    Both men and women are turned on by confidence.

    Women want their partner to not only know what will bring her pleasure- but also to offer to do those things for her!

    A man also wants to feel confident that he can not only bring his partner pleasure- but he also needs to know that the pleasure she feels is genuine.

    According to a recent poll, only 10.2% of the men surveyed thought women should fake an or gasm- everyone else wanted her to really have one! For a man, knowing that his partner is truly enjoying herself significantly increases his sexual confidence.

    Why is having sexual confidence a problem in relationships?

    The truth is many couples are uncomfortable talking about sex. Many men feel uncomfortable asking women about their sexual likes and dislikes and many women are not comfortable talking directly about what they want in bed.

    While we all seem to want someone who can read our mind, the only real way to achieve this is by communicating your needs.

    Building Sexual Confidence

    "How do I know that what I'm doing is what he or she wants?"

    If the key to building sexual confidence is through conversation- here are a few simple tips to get you moving in the right direction.

    1) Read books together that talk about sex This is a non-threatening way for couples to explore sexual "how-to's", talk about differences and give feedback without feeling blamed for doing it wrong. This exercise is often quite fun for couples. Try reading the exercises out loud- alternate between being the reader and the listener.

    2) Talk about sex For a man to truly understand what a woman needs, a simple discussion can make a big and lasting difference. This is a woman's opportunity to talk about her unique preferences, and as a result, gives her partner the confidence to relax during sex and be more creative and spontaneous.

    3) Timing Let's face it; it's just not sexy to ask what a person likes during sex. A good time to talk is after sex, particularly if the sex was good. This will allow your partner to open up and talk about what made them feel good. It's a good idea- if you talk right after sex- to ask for positive feedback only. Wait for the criticism until the emotions have passed and you are both able to separate your feelings from the actual experience.

    4) Give positive direction last, and certainly not least, during sex simply move your partner gently in the direction that will be most pleasurable. They'll quickly get the message!

    Sexual confidence can best be achieved by using an approach that helps couples be successful rather than focusing on mistakes.
  • 3Comments

  • View author's info posted on Dec 14, 2005 14:58

    bedford40 write:
    blondeindian write:
    hahaha, i think this works, for men, a lady needs to just swallow, and for the ladies,the man should stay below the belt a lot....

    I guess there are times when keep-it-simple works

    Sounds like a great start to a very meaningful relationship,wink.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 07, 2005 11:39

    Magohany, How right you are. I was dating a doctor not too long ago. Some of those points were exactly what he told me.. You have just confirmed what he told me a ways back... Nothing more to say other than.........

    BlondeIndian..You are some classy "BROAD"

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  • View author's info posted on Dec 07, 2005 09:49

    hahaha, i think this works, for men, a lady needs to just swallow, and for the ladies,the man should stay below the belt a lot....
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