Borderline Personality Disorders Message Board

  • View author's info posted on Jun 11, 2008 22:22


    If someone can get the message out to MagicMaker that I would like to discuss this disorder with her, I'd appreciate it.
  • 86Comments

  • View author's info posted on Jul 21, 2007 05:18


    Distance and "No-contact" are required in dealing with a BPD, with you as the "Non".

    Putting everything in writing helps--but they twist those things, too.

    Save your sanity and cut-off contact as much as you can.

    Therapy helps you deal with your fantasy of "Needing to rescue, etc".

    Good luck.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 01, 2007 13:29


    Bob
    You are getting hammered because you are allowing yourself back into the situation....sit this one out...forever.

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  • View author's info posted on Oct 11, 2006 22:19


    Re:


    So beauty, you just have to have the latest in treads? and here I was seeing 4" heels there unless you went with the camo gear. titanium kicks!!

    Re:



    Now Blue, who said the titanium kicks don't come with 4 inch heels?? Just get's a little wobbly during a good run, LOL!

    Re:



    just picturing 4" heels on nikes makes me LMAO!!! those platform tennis shoes are so funny looking--got to be so that when you step on a stone you don't feel it so good in dirt road country rather than in the city....as you runny wobbly on any height, I think you've got it all mastered and licked. but watching you wobbling by might be worth the shoes!!

    Re:




    LOL Blue...I imagine you get a little wobbly at times too! what kick's do you wear, New Balance?

    Re:



    new balance? well thank you, only the ones with velcro so my old arthritic fingers don't have to tie them, along with my cane and wheeled walker!!! you are so bad, just be sure you don't wobble and fall off those 4" in my zone or you'll end up with a rosy bottom!!

    Re:




    "Fine mess ya got me in , Ollie"

    Blue, you misunderstood my meaning...LOL!



    so help an old duffer understand what you meant?
  • View author's info posted on Oct 08, 2006 07:37


    beautynbrains4u write:
    big22blue write:
    beautynbrains4u write:
    big22blue write:
    So beauty, you just have to have the latest in treads? and here I was seeing 4" heels there unless you went with the camo gear. titanium kicks!!

    Re:



    Now Blue, who said the titanium kicks don't come with 4 inch heels?? Just get's a little wobbly during a good run, LOL!

    Re:



    just picturing 4" heels on nikes makes me LMAO!!! those platform tennis shoes are so funny looking--got to be so that when you step on a stone you don't feel it so good in dirt road country rather than in the city....as you runny wobbly on any height, I think you've got it all mastered and licked. but watching you wobbling by might be worth the shoes!!

    Re:




    LOL Blue...I imagine you get a little wobbly at times too! what kick's do you wear, New Balance?

    Re:



    new balance? well thank you, only the ones with velcro so my old arthritic fingers don't have to tie them, along with my cane and wheeled walker!!! you are so bad, just be sure you don't wobble and fall off those 4" in my zone or you'll end up with a rosy bottom!!
  • View author's info posted on Oct 06, 2006 07:51


    beautynbrains4u write:
    big22blue write:
    So beauty, you just have to have the latest in treads? and here I was seeing 4" heels there unless you went with the camo gear. titanium kicks!!

    Re:



    Now Blue, who said the titanium kicks don't come with 4 inch heels?? Just get's a little wobbly during a good run, LOL!

    Re:



    just picturing 4" heels on nikes makes me LMAO!!! those platform tennis shoes are so funny looking--got to be so that when you step on a stone you don't feel it so good in dirt road country rather than in the city....as you runny wobbly on any height, I think you've got it all mastered and licked. but watching you wobbling by might be worth the shoes!!
  • View author's info posted on Oct 04, 2006 14:57


    Magimaker what an incredible post and how true it is.
    See Bob fell in love with his BPD not unlike the love Joe Dimaggio felt for Maryln Monore even he couldn't handle her but neither could he stop loving her.

    The abadonment issues are so real it's just that the BPD usually was abused or left or rejected as a child.
    So the fear is always there and to the men who have loved these women because there are more women like this then men.
    Sometimes a BPD will move on to be with a replacement only so they do not have to be alone.
    See Bob sweetie you and I are great friends and you are successful , beautiful home, highly achieved you can be alone with yourself and happy unfortunatelt the BPD lives through others vicariously.
    Acceptance that you have the disease and learning to Trust and that you have to love yourself before you can really give love is the key.
    Never hate them they already probably hate themselves and are at a high risk for suicide to them a break -up can be like death even if they don't show it.
    XO dorms
  • View author's info posted on Oct 03, 2006 13:01


    Bob,
    I stopped really reading the back and forths between you and teresa a few pages ago.I have a master's degree in psychology and I wanted to share my opinion.Yes, BPD is an incredibly difficult disorder to treat.DBT has been shown to be the most effective treatments for BPD's, but it's certainly not a cure-all.So many BPD's are practically impossible to treat.The problem with BPD's is finding a way to convince them to change their behavior patterns.The BPD person craves intimacy and yet is terrified by it at the same time.They are in a constant state of panic that they will be abandoned.The problem is that they constantly set up situations for themselves where they absolutely will be abandoned.And to them this proves that they're a worthless piece of shit whom everyone will abandon eventually.Yes, they're usually quite smart which is what enables them to be so incredibly manipulative. BPD is an incredibly sad and destructive disorder both to the person who suffers from it and to the people around them.
    Now Bob, I don't know you from a hole in the wall, but I've got to level with you here. You have an unresolved issue. Whatever that issue may be, you clearly have not dealt with it properly or else you would not constantly let this woman back into your life. Believe me, I know how manipulative BPD's can be. My family was almost destroyed by one. But there is something going on with you that allows you to take her back each time. You are a smart and mature man. Intellect and age are the two things that really allow us to learn from our mistakes.Once you deal with your own issue(s) you'll be able to put up the necessary boundaries to prevent this woman from re-entering your life. But here's the kicker Bob, and the thing that you're probably not leveling with yourself about - you have to stop wanting her back in your life. From reading your posts I can see that this woman holds a special place in your heart.Until you let go, she will always find a way back in.
  • View author's info posted on Oct 02, 2006 21:36


    Now when you think of Borderline personality think of Marilyn Monroe and her child like vulnerability..her quest to be loved and she let many men use her...
    she had been abadoned Marilyn Monroe think of Princess Di she had this disorder but the comparission is not that of Glen Closes character in Fatal Attraction in my opinion....that is an unfair parallel to BPDs and not at all what most BPD's are like and they have a higher suicide rate then Manic Depressives.. a Narcistic person would be the most manipulating and a Sociopath and often Borderline Personality is brought on by a shock such as sexual abuse...repeated childhood abuse but there is always a child-like look to the world to them all bad or all good.black
  • View author's info posted on Oct 02, 2006 21:09


    So beauty, you just have to have the latest in treads? and here I was seeing 4" heels there unless you went with the camo gear. titanium kicks!!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 30, 2006 15:18


    beautynbrains4u write:
    big22blue write:
    beautynbrains4u write:
    Can't seem to find my words lately on the forums....post,delete... Suffice to say, Life is sure full of some trippy sh*it!

    beauty, me too!! do they edit what we write?


    Yes Blue, maybe your being too naughty, LOL! But I edit more of what I write than they do!

    Re:



    actually I do to. too naughts>> nah--more is always better
  • View author's info posted on Sep 29, 2006 11:30


    Thanks for the response. It is in the way past for me but sometimes I need to ask myself why would I want all that drama and chaos in my life when I think of her.
    I think most non BP people have had the experience with a person with this disability sometime in thier life. However I don't think many even realize what a serious disorder it really is.
    Bob will pay the price when he falls from the roller coater and splats on the pavement. The crash for the non BP is always more severe for the non bp because the level mind trys to reason it away by trying to make sense of it all. In the end we find that what we experience is just not explanable.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 27, 2006 23:44


    beautynbrains4u write:
    Can't seem to find my words lately on the forums....post,delete... Suffice to say, Life is sure full of some trippy sh*it!

    beauty, me too!! do they edit what we write?
  • View author's info posted on Sep 22, 2006 14:04


    beautynbrains4u write:
    LOL, Blue, so you like living in the danger zone,I see (re:profile). Seems to me your the naughty boy who needs the spanking!LOL!

    no pain for me beauty!!! Always lived by hit first, harder and often. then once more. but the naughty part? maybe, we'll have to see.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 19, 2006 20:55


    If you let the BPD back in your life, you have problems yourself. Maybe you should read up on games people play, say maybe the martyr role, or NIGYYSOB, or others.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 19, 2006 04:33


    beautynbrains4u write:
    big22blue write:
    beautynbrains4u write:
    big22blue write:
    beautynbrains4u write:
    No, Blue, It didn't work. Most "white collar" men couldn't identify the object. So next month I'm planning to attend a "blue collar" worker's convention...LOLOL! So if I'm gone for awhile....you'll know I've perfected my technique!!

    looks like it might even be camo collar beauty. it all blends well with your energy I can see, be careful out there.

    LOL, Blue, I think life is easier for the unimaginative!! Yes, I will be careful!!

    that's why they use pony's for crowd control, the mob moves with a push while the imaginative are off on their own..good girl.

    Well since I'm a good girl...I guess that means theres no spankings on my agenda, LOLOL!!

    A good spanking can be arranged if necessary, for a good girl!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 17, 2006 17:23


    beautynbrains4u write:
    big22blue write:
    beautynbrains4u write:
    No, Blue, It didn't work. Most "white collar" men couldn't identify the object. So next month I'm planning to attend a "blue collar" worker's convention...LOLOL! So if I'm gone for awhile....you'll know I've perfected my technique!!

    looks like it might even be camo collar beauty. it all blends well with your energy I can see, be careful out there.

    LOL, Blue, I think life is easier for the unimaginative!! Yes, I will be careful!!

    that's why they use pony's for crowd control, the mob moves with a push while the imaginative are off on their own..good girl.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 15, 2006 17:30


    beautynbrains4u write:
    No, Blue, It didn't work. Most "white collar" men couldn't identify the object. So next month I'm planning to attend a "blue collar" worker's convention...LOLOL! So if I'm gone for awhile....you'll know I've perfected my technique!!

    Underneath that blue collar is a white tee shirt, so it is same same girlie. just bring extra batteries as they don't come with a cord!!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 15, 2006 15:00


    bobsthename write:
    Here are the BPD lines to watch for...I think when a relationship gets to this stage, it's not healthy...

    "If you only knew the person I am NOW. I've changed."

    "stop living in the past"

    "nothing is ever good enough for you"

    "Why do you want to give up on us when we care about each other so much?"

    "I want to work on things and learn to communicate.""

    "I have changed. You just have to trust me. I may have let you down in the past, but it won't happen again."

    "How are you gonna know I'm being sincere unless you give me another chance?"

    These are some of the writings shared by other BPD victims with me and boy if it isn't almost word for word what mine told me. When one can observe other people suffering the same consequences, it makes me realize what a sucker I was and just how sick she really is. What sucks is I had real feelings and was out for her best interests...her feelings weren't real, they were just a part of her sick behaviour to use me as an escape hatch. The sad thing is for almost 3 years I've been believing her and believing in her. What a horrible waste of my life and time.

    You forgot the most frequently used line: "I'm sorry".
  • View author's info posted on Sep 13, 2006 11:47


    beautynbrains4u write:
    I'm not sure I catch your drift Bernie, what ever do you mean? LOLOL!!


    I mean I have plenty of rope and will even wear a white suit if that is part of your fantasy. You know we gigolos and escorts have to please.
    lol
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