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suggestions on trolls
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Posted on Mon, Oct 03, 2005 20:49

how to handle a troll? simply ignore and hope they go away? feed into it and hope it is semi amusing? there are some that bantering is amusing- but after this kristy incident that i could not and would not ignore - i have come to the conclusion that a person acts out in direct correlation to how much pain they are in-- therefore anyone who becomes the target is simply the scapegoat or the deflection for the troll == MM has issues big ones- they need to fix in order to keep thier current memembers.. tomarrow their will be a new troll- i say let it roll or if they are semi amusing then banter with them i mean shoot they h ave nothing else to do.. if it hurts or offends someone ignore it.. the regulars have a semi idea on who is sane and who has crossed the line into actual unstability.. theres lots we can do with them-- theres a team of angels that can tackle any troll and take em down in one shot... big world out their and lots of whckos in it.. mels issues should be cleared up mm received many many complaints.. so now it will be another day... perhaps a chat room might work for those who are sane..



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Posted on Wed, Oct 05, 2005 18:16

I remember a few years back MM would require sometype of financial proof to validate millionaires and certify them as such. I wish they would go back to that format,it would eliminate many of these so-called millionaires,doctors,attorneys,pyschothterapists,poets,ect. I for one would be certified, I only know of a few men on here that would be also, no females.



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Posted on Wed, Oct 05, 2005 08:49


Ecam write:
This excerpt is from an article suggesting the best way to deal with trolls. In order to beat them you have to understand where their coming from..

"They stay only as long as we feed them well. If we want them to go, all we have to do is to stop feeding them.
Recognize and understand that they are here to hurt us with their own rage. Everything they say about us is a reflection of their own self-hate. Even when they hit our triggers, it is their rage, their self-hatred that they are giving us. We don't have to let ourselves be hurt by the fact that they hate themselves. We can let them drown in their self-hate, simply by ignoring them.
When no one responds to them, they are left with their own venom. That is the last thing that a troll wants to have to deal with."



Folks, this is the best advice of all.

If you're clever, you'll notice that many trolls develop profiles and communication styles that are absolute STEREOTYPES - - - they are developed specifically to P*SS US OFF. They are charicatures obviously developed by the immature mind, and our reaction to them says more about us than about them. Especially us fortyish-and-up female types (ahem).

Trolls love to feed off our anger and annoyance at this sometimes vicious, cruel, competitive game called "dating," where to the young pretty things, and the guys with all the money, go the best spoils. So if you find yourself "flaming" a troll, ask yourself, what are you really mad at? The messenger or the message?

(Of course, publicly accusing a forum member of something like child abuse is beyond the pale and should be dealt with ASAP using legal means if necessary)

The best way to get rid of trolls is to immediately alert the forum moderators and do your best to eliminate the problem BEHIND THE SCENES without resorting to a public attack. In the mean time, be on guard to (kindly) notify new victims that they're dealing with a troll and to ignore the "bait."

The BOTTOM LINE is to MINIMIZE THE DRAMA. Give the trolls the drama, and you've just made their day.



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Posted on Tue, Oct 04, 2005 18:48

S4U,
Come and post in the fun is back thread..we have got to get this party started....where is Dom when we need her....she needs to post her legs for us.....lol.....Lets have fun...I miss posting with you....
Did you see the funny pictures on the "APB out on MAS thread" lol...
I took them when I was lost in eastern Washington.
Lucky

  


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Posted on Tue, Oct 04, 2005 17:08

Anyone try a rope yet?



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Posted on Tue, Oct 04, 2005 10:44

There are several ways to difuse a troll. I have a hard time telling them at first. Usually someone else has noticed. Ignoring is a great way but at times that does not work. Making fun of them in a round about way will work at times. Agreeing with them in a flashy fashion will also work well at times. each is different and some will go away quickly where like this one it will take some time. Ignoring is the best way of course

SO WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GLUE THE KEYBOARD TOGETHER SO TYPING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!

  


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Posted on Tue, Oct 04, 2005 04:38

This excerpt is from an article suggesting the best way to deal with trolls. In order to beat them you have to understand where their coming from..

"They stay only as long as we feed them well. If we want them to go, all we have to do is to stop feeding them.
Recognize and understand that they are here to hurt us with their own rage. Everything they say about us is a reflection of their own self-hate. Even when they hit our triggers, it is their rage, their self-hatred that they are giving us. We don't have to let ourselves be hurt by the fact that they hate themselves. We can let them drown in their self-hate, simply by ignoring them.
When no one responds to them, they are left with their own venom. That is the last thing that a troll wants to have to deal with."

  


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Posted on Tue, Oct 04, 2005 00:09

NYChick, as always you provide very sound advice as I have been bothered by a troll who has been kicked off the site many times but seems to just come back buy changing a letter....yes your observation is right on target as it becomes a control issue for a person who's life is out of the realms of reality...rejection becomes anger turned inward then projected from poor issues of self worth and esteem ..the only way to counterbalance is vague attempts to put another underneath for that person to try to stand upon...no insight into the introspection to see their foundation is inlaid in quicksand...

Yes the force you ladies provide to expose another is truely powerful to watch...As a psychotherapist I have seen many dysfunctional behaviors, and at times to see what is called Borderline Personlity traits rear it's ugly head on the threads is amazing...

I have worked in the juvenile justice division as a social worker and could only imagine the poise, style, and determination you use in presenting or defending your cases...

Bravo...to your wonderful advice...who attacked Mel?...and can't believe that other thread with that lady attacking you out of the blue like that .some are just "Legends in their own minds" I guess...best to you NY CHick



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