Desperately Seeking Wisdom Romance Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Sep 29, 2005 at 01:22 PM's a question for the men...mainly because I'd like a man's perspective on the issue...but girls...feel free to join in. The more the merrier.

    You know how men are always trying to devise ways to get into a woman's pants? Now let's say, hypothetically speaking...this woman meets this man. There's chemistry between them...both physical and intellectual...but for now, they're just friends.

    However, this woman has a child from a previous relationship...and the man LOVES kids even though he doesn't have any of his own (for the moment). In fact after every it face to face, telephone or email, he always sends love to her and never forgets the child.

    Now the question...does the fact that he thinks of her as 'him, her and the child' mean he thinks deeply of them both and is serious...or is he trying to get into her pants via the kid?

    Men...what would the rationale behind the actions be? After all, if it was just kids that he liked, surely he'd just play with his nieces and nephews..??? the woman is me. Come on, help a girl out!

    P.S. He's NOT an MM member. Don't even think he's ever heard of it.
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  • View author's info Posted on Sep 29, 2005 at 10:58 PM

    Thanks Butter,

    I think that's my problem...I tend to OVER analyse things...must be the engineer/accountant/taurean in me.

    But your insight really helps...I think I'll just take a chill pill and let things play out the way they're meant to...
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 29, 2005 at 04:55 PM

    Mimi..this is my take:
    If this guy was a girlfriend and she asks about your kids and sends her love, what is your impression and rationale? Just a concerned thoughtful friend right? So why do you not accept that guys could be that too?

    Don't be too cynical about men in general just because your first relationship did not turn out to be ideal. Give men a chance and let them surprise you. I think there are lots of men who adore children and would not mind being surrogate dads to other people's children.It is a good thing and as a single mum you should be pleased with the fact that there is a man in your life who cares about kids.
    You don't have to be over sensitive about it and feel that he has a private agenda to impress you. BY all means encourage him to meet with your kids and that is the best time to suss out and observe whether he is just putting up a show to impress you or he is genuinely fond of kids. If he is interested in you and loves you he ahs to love the entire package that you represent or else there is no deal..
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 29, 2005 at 02:54 PM

    Hi Mimi...ok..if I understand the question are asking.. the fact that this man has been curtious enough to send his Love or wishes to both you and the child..does this mean what? I think it could mean a couple of things...maybe he is just a gentlemen and is sending his loving wishes..
    Maybe he is sending as a friend...i have friends men and women who always send their Love to my children...mine are both 21 and 25...and they still think of them.
    I think as women...we always try to look too deep into things..instead of just take it at face value.
    For one long have you known each other? Have you been intimate? Have you even met? How many dates have you been on? has he met your child?

    I have been on dates where the guy never even met my child..and he still asked about them.
    I have been speaking to a man online ,, we talk a lot..he has never met me in person..yet he always asks about my daughter.

    I wouldnt try to analyze him..just take it one day at a time..

    Remember there are a lot of them out there that will say anything to impress you.
    and then their are some that are truely genuine..Time will tell.
    After all are a mother..and if you two become serious,,,then you are a package deal.

    Take your time!!!!!
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