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ROFL! Top 10 M4W personal ads
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Posted on Fri, Sep 16, 2005 14:13

This from the "best of" section . . . LOL! Come on guys, which one of these belongs to you, fess up! Inquiring minds want to know!

(I took out the naughty bits!)

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Craig?s List Top 10 M4W Personal Ads - 24

1. I'm so tired of the bar scene!
Obviously, this has nothing to do with my being tired of drinking beer and staring at your asz, it has to do with the fact that I'm getting too old and drunk to get anyone to come home with me anymore. I've also realized that peeling a girl off the bar where she's passed out is not the best way to meet one with Marriage Material.

2. I want an outdoorsy girl!
Let's go hiking, swimming, fishing, running, sailing, canoeing, camping, mountain climbing, bungee jumping, skydiving, spelunking, deep-sea diving, and so on until we're so completely exhausted that we don't even have the energy to have sex. It will help if we both take steroids.

3. Nice guys still exist!
Who, me? Just wanting to get into your pants? No way! I'm the "nice guy" that all the girls say they want, but never actually f***! All you girls just want the "bad boys." I'm so sick of having my hot friends cry on my shoulders about their aszhole boyfriends. Why doesn't anyone ever want me? I'm here! I do exist! Love me! Trust me, I'm the ONLY guy on Craig's List who isn?t just trying to get into your pants.

4. I'm so old fashioned.
That's right I know all the romantic, decent, passionate ways to get into your pants. I'll pull out your chair, hold the door open for you, and send you dozens of roses. When I drop you off and give you a polite kiss on the cheek and thank you for a wonderful evening, our eyes will meet and I'll just know deep inside from that special look in your eyes that soon enough, you'll be letting me do you up the *****.

5. I'll be your sugar daddy.
I'm just some dried-up old creep who will probably make your skin crawl when you touch me, but I work at Dell and I have enough money to woo some pathetic University of Texas co-ed into giving me a h*nd j*b every now and then in exchange for a new wardrobe from Urban Outfitters. Shoot me a pic and your PayPal account number.

6. I'm scary commitment guy.
Aren't there any women out there who actually want to spend the rest of their lives with someone? Girls always say they want commitment, but then they say no when I propose. On our second date, I expect to have our children's names picked out. If you can't handle that, then don't respond. I'm a REAL man and I want a REAL woman who still believes that REAL love is possible!

7. I can use free concert tickets to get laid. I have an extra ticket to see John Mayer, and I don't have anyone to go with me. More accurately, I'm lonely and I can't get laid, so I bought an extra ticket so that some freeloading b**ch will be my date just to see a free concert. At least let me get to second base; the tickets cost me $65!

8. Did you know that shallow aszholes can float? We're a bunch of completely shallow losers, but one of us owns a boat, and so we'd like to look really cool on the lake this weekend with a bunch of Playboy-type girls drinking beer and grinding to the top 40 on the bow of our boat. Send us a recent pic of you in a bikini and we'll decide if you're hot enough to impress the other shallow aszholes on boats.

9. I will suddenly and unexpectedly throw in an unrealistic weight requirement. I just really want a down-to-earth girl. We can cuddle and watch movies, go out and eat, go bowling, whatever. I?m up for anything! Let's just enjoy each other's company and see where it goes. (You must be under 120 pounds.)

10. Every girl I've ever dated has been crazy! I refuse to think that I'm only attracted to psychos, or *gasp* that I might be perceiving everyone else as crazy when in fact I'm the one who's nuts. Rather, I choose to believe that by pure coincidence, all of my exes have just been completely f***ing nuts! Are there any normal girls out there with zero drama? I'm so sick of these incredibly hot girls with perfect bodies who turn out to be mentally unstable; I'm ready for an incredibly hot girl with a perfect body who I can MARRY. Are you out there?

this is in or around Fantasy Land



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Posted on Tue, Sep 20, 2005 17:02


Bonnie88 write:
Goodlife,
You must have scoured thru alot alot of profiles...care to list some of the best candidates/talents you have spotted?

Maybe we should have a sort of league table or list of the most eligible , most adorable, most lovable men on MM? YOU will be our nominated judge on the panel cos I think you seem to know all the criteria. YOu do the nomination and we will do the voting..how about it?



cub and WWWWW get my votes!

Actually, given my tricky relationship situation, I'm not reading many profiles these days. But the ones that DO impress me the most are the thoughtful ones, the ones who don't sound like every other guy. I wish them well . . .



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Posted on Tue, Sep 20, 2005 07:16

Boy, you sure know how to hurt a guy with that # 10.



Drama queens are psychos, thats my story and I am sticking to it.



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Posted on Mon, Sep 19, 2005 23:19

Goodlife,
You must have scoured thru alot alot of profiles...care to list some of the best candidates/talents you have spotted?

Maybe we should have a sort of league table or list of the most eligible , most adorable, most lovable men on MM? YOU will be our nominated judge on the panel cos I think you seem to know all the criteria. YOu do the nomination and we will do the voting..how about it?



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Posted on Mon, Sep 19, 2005 11:21

Hehe! Definately makes you take a fresh look at what you put in your profile. lol



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Posted on Sun, Sep 18, 2005 13:43

OK Good Life lil Lady,

You forgot the one that most resembles me.

Number 11: None of the Above, LMAO!

But I can still be all ten above if you wish me to, still lol. JK!



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Posted on Sun, Sep 18, 2005 10:05

got a few chuckles out of those. hell I may redo my prose and go candid too



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