If not now, then when? Message Board

  • View author's info Author posted on Sep 06, 2005 17:55


    When I divorced my wife, I took back the crystal and silver my parents had given us for a wedding present, and they've been unpacked and used once, maybe twice, since 1998. As I contemplate giving clothing and electronic equipment to evacuees from the Gulf Coast, I have to wonder why I have extra items like that. Tonight I got this email, and it brings it all home. Who would not trade every penny they had for one more breath as the floodwaters closed over their heads?

    "Read this, and think, if recent events have not stirred you to do so already, what are you waiting for?

    A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk
    paper wrapped package:

    "This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She
    has never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said:

    "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is
    a special occasion".

    I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less.
    I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day.. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.

    I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever
    I want to. The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from
    my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see,
    listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.

    I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... that I wanted to write "One of these days". I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and sisters, son and daughters, not times enough at least, how much I love them.

    Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives..
    And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day..

    Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.

    If you got this, it's because someone cares for you and because, probably, there's someone you care about.

    If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it "One of these days", remember that "One day" is far away... or might never come...

    No matter if you're superstitious or not, spend some time reading it.

    It holds useful messages for the soul.

    Don't keep this message. This Tantra must leave your hands within 96 hours. Send copies and watch what goes on in the next four days. You'll have a pleasant surprise.

    This is true, even if you're not superstitious."

    Yesterday is gone, tomorow may never come. I don't know about you folks, but I seem to have only this moment to dream, to hope, to love. I want to stop regretting the things I did not say, the tenderness that might have made a difference in someone's life.

    So I ask myself, and hope I never stop; I ask you, each of you, as we wait for that 100% perfect love, thinking maybe 90% might be enough but most unwilling to accept 89%...

    if not now, then when?
  • 4Comments

  • View author's info posted on Sep 09, 2005 23:46



    statuesque4u write:

    sharp1 write:
    Good advice 5w's. My son is rather rebellious too, in a different way than Bonnie's. I keep telling myself that he's only 18 and in the next few years he will go through alot of changes and become a more responsible and pleasant human being to be around. My friends who have gone through it with their sons all tell me that...crossing my fingers it's true! lol



    Bonnie, Sharp there is hope in the air. My son did a lot of stuff and rebelled in many ways. We just let him go his own way with advice and it all came out in the wash. He is quite a responsible young man now,still learning but much better. He will improve with age. Some of us learn from an early age and some of us have to learn along the way. They have to make their own mistakes or they will continue to fall back on us as parents. It's hard to let go but we have to sometime.....


    Thanks STats...everyone tells me there is light at the end of the tunnel..I am still groping in the dark with mine..sometimes I see a glimmer of hope and msot times I yearn for a little light..
  • View author's info posted on Sep 09, 2005 00:13



    wwwww123 write:
    Bonnie "the ultimate rebel who thinks he is the anti-hero."




    I have seen many rebels and do believe that sometimes its good to get it out of your system. I knew a woman who had one of the worst mouths you can imagine for a few years. She was a former nun - just rebelling. Many other similar stories.

    Your son is just rejecting his dad's lifestyle. I think that is good, not bad. Hopefully he won't carry it too far and will find a middle ground that will make him happy and that his mum will be ok with. Give him a chance -- with a few controls, some logic, but not to restraining.

    wwwww


    thanks 5w..hope your prediction is right..he is back at school for the time being..told me he has split from the girlfriend..no news is good news..still sitting at the edge of my seat..the next 10 months will be hell on earth for me..
  • View author's info posted on Sep 08, 2005 21:59


    Bonnie "the ultimate rebel who thinks he is the anti-hero."




    I have seen many rebels and do believe that sometimes its good to get it out of your system. I knew a woman who had one of the worst mouths you can imagine for a few years. She was a former nun - just rebelling. Many other similar stories.

    Your son is just rejecting his dad's lifestyle. I think that is good, not bad. Hopefully he won't carry it too far and will find a middle ground that will make him happy and that his mum will be ok with. Give him a chance -- with a few controls, some logic, but not to restraining.

    wwwww
  • View author's info posted on Sep 06, 2005 23:48


    My son at 17 saw his father die and said: 'DAd you have taken delayed gratification to the extreme...I promise you I will live life to the full..only instant gratification for me..' so this summer he did the wildest adventure ..bought a ticket with my credit card to fly home from his holiday to surprise his girlfriend , armed with a bouquet at her doorstep, told me he would not hesitate to do it all again..it was the most romantic gesture ..and it will be a legend to tell my grandkids!!
    Then he proceeded to hold a party in the house in my absence, broke two doors when I locked him out, police took him handcuffed to the cell...ranaway again ..the ultimate rebel who thinks he is the anti-hero...Albert Camus would be proud of him, the true existentialist so he claimed!
    and he decides he does not want to go back to boarding school..He said :'Fear and worries get us no where..I no longer live in fear..I just want to be FREE and Happy.and to love as I please .' cos we all die too soon ..doe he know something we don't ? A rebel without a cause..and he is my son and the bane of my life right now..
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