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Children say the funniest things........
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Posted on Thu, Aug 04, 2005 16:30

This topic came to me while reading/writing on another topic with Sharp1' on dreams we had of our children! I know I have lots of funny/embarrassing stories about my kids and thought it would be nice to compare with everyone else.

I'm sure every parent has either been embarrassed to the point of wanting to be childless or have laughed so hard at the funny but innocent things their children have done or said. For the 'yet to be parents' amongst us this will give you an insight into what you have to look forward to!!!



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Posted on Sun, Aug 14, 2005 13:53

Hey...funny you should say that..Ive just come off that thread and yes I found that really funny!! Infact I think I said so on there!!



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Posted on Sat, Aug 13, 2005 19:23

Sorry to hear you had a bad night Scorpio....I hate it when that happens,.... Im kinda bored tonight..im actually staying home for a change...
But if you really want a good laugh..go read the post "will the real mrs EDtarboosh "
You will die laughing,,,it started out as a practical Joke to one of the Guy members on here..its probably the funniest one in the forums..i sure do miss that Edtarboosh character!!!



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Posted on Sat, Aug 13, 2005 19:13

Sacred, butter & pettite I would just like to thank you, I have just come back from having the shi*ttiest night ever and the first thing I read are your postings...so again thank you for making me laugh sooooo much tonight!!

  


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Posted on Sat, Aug 13, 2005 09:17


sacredscientist write:
A trip to the store one day was a disaster. My wife(now ex), and my daughter Rachel, and I were shopping. Rachel was riding in the shopping cart facing me, and she was bored as most little kids are in that situation. She spied my wristwatch. She didnt know the word watch, but she didnt know the word clock.(can you see the impending trouble?)
We were in the checkout line with a couple of people both in front and behind us when my daughter, in a voice that was just too loud says, "Daddy, can I see your c*ck".
Silence is sometimes a wonderful thing. It was not wonderful at that moment when everyone within 20 yard turned to glare at me. I was starting to think we might have an old-fashioned lynching right there in the store. Two very elegantly dressed ladies in their 50's looked as if they had witnessed satan himself materializing right in my spot.
My wife, bless her for this, said something to Rachel about her needing to learning her "L" sounds. I just peeled my wristwatch from my arm and handed it to her, to her obvious delight. I couldnt help myself I never took my eyes off the floor until we got outside.
I have never been back to that store, nor do I ever forsee me having a need to.
Needless to say, correct pronounciation became a high priority in our house that very day.

(If my daughter finds out I posted this....I will be dead...lol)


(Smile)

That is a hilarious story sacred. omelike that happened to us at a family reunion. It was held at the park and my son Dylan was about 3. His hobby was to collect twigs and sticks and throw them in the water. His older brother took him to go find some sticks. He handed one to his Dad and he kept one. Then in front of relatives we haven't seen in forever, Dylan says (the kid that can't pronounce his s's) Daddy you have a big di*ck and I have a little di*ck. People were really staring at him but I made it clear to everyone what he meant. Kids say the funniest things when they can't pronounce all their letter sounds.



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Posted on Sat, Aug 13, 2005 09:07

I just remembered this the other day...my daughter now 21...but at 2 years old,,was in Sunday school..I was in Church at the time...her SS teacher came and got me,,said you need to come and see what Sara is showing,,and playing with..she was laughing her head off,,thank God she had a sense of humor..my daughter was trying to blow up a condom,,she found it at our home..and....NO it wasnt used,,however she was passing it around the SS class,,and all the little 2 and 3 yr olds were trying to blow it up..
LOL now that WAS one of the funniest and most embarrasing things I have ever been through! Leave it to her,, boy did I have some explaining to do..yes I was married at the time.



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Posted on Fri, Aug 12, 2005 22:52

Sorry in advance for the length of this post.

My daughter is now 12, so this story is fair game.

When Rachel was about four her speech was less than perfect. She wasnt able to say the "L" sound in words. So for the "L" sound she either changed it to a "Y" or skipped it in the pronounciation. Examples: She yikes this, She walks on chubby yeggs. My favorite was, "Daddy, I yove you". In words like slip, or climb, it became sip and cimb.
A trip to the store one day was a disaster. My wife(now ex), and my daughter Rachel, and I were shopping. Rachel was riding in the shopping cart facing me, and she was bored as most little kids are in that situation. She spied my wristwatch. She didnt know the word watch, but she didnt know the word clock.(can you see the impending trouble?)
We were in the checkout line with a couple of people both in front and behind us when my daughter, in a voice that was just too loud says, "Daddy, can I see your c*ck".
Silence is sometimes a wonderful thing. It was not wonderful at that moment when everyone within 20 yard turned to glare at me. I was starting to think we might have an old-fashioned lynching right there in the store. Two very elegantly dressed ladies in their 50's looked as if they had witnessed satan himself materializing right in my spot.
My wife, bless her for this, said something to Rachel about her needing to learning her "L" sounds. I just peeled my wristwatch from my arm and handed it to her, to her obvious delight. I couldnt help myself I never took my eyes off the floor until we got outside.
I have never been back to that store, nor do I ever forsee me having a need to.
Needless to say, correct pronounciation became a high priority in our house that very day.

(If my daughter finds out I posted this....I will be dead...lol)


(Smile)



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Posted on Fri, Aug 05, 2005 16:08

Sharp says: ...my daughter whining at me the entire way there, "I have to go Momma!" and holding my son's baseball cap full of puke out the window! lol
The things we endure with kids! lol
*********

ROFL! Sharp I am sooo sorry...I hadda laugh at that lol it must have felt like the loooongest journey ever!!!!

Luckily I have never had anything like that happen on a flight lol



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Posted on Thu, Aug 04, 2005 19:24


scorpio_ice write:
Hi Cats....awwww that is the cutest thing

Hello Scorpio...yes I thought it was pretty cute...would make a cute commercial :)



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Posted on Thu, Aug 04, 2005 17:45

My daughter (Ginny) was 6, my son (Cliff) was 8. We were in Cozumel, Mexico taking a short 45 minute flight over to Chitzenitza (sp?). The plane only held 10 people, there were no isles...two seats per row. I told both my kids to go to the washroom before leaving. My son went, but my daughter stubbornly said, "I don't have to go Momma!" There was no convincing her! We get on the plane. My daughter is sitting in front of me with her Dad, my son beside me. We are on the run way getting ready to take off & my daughter turns around and says to me, "I have to go pee Momma!" Me: "Sorry, too late, you'll have to wait." Ginny: "I can't wait, I have to go pee Momma!" Me: "Sorry honey, but we're on the runway, there is no going back now...I told you to go. In 45 minutes we'll be landing, then you can go." She whines somemore at me and I told her to talk to her Dad before I put the large headphones on my ears for blocking out the noise of the engine...did a great job blocking her out too! I thought...for a change her Dad can deal with her. Boy am I glad I'm not sitting next to her! lol
Two minutes from Chitzanitza...we can see the temple and the runway...my son says to me, "I think I'm going to be sick Mom." Me:"Do you think you can hold it for 2 minutes, or is it going to happen soon?" Cliff, "I don't know." I look around for a special bag, ask around...not one puke bag on the plane. I look at his Calgary Flames baseball cap on his head with little rivet holes around the sides and tell him, "Well, you better take off your hat, and use it if you have to!" He did, about a minute before we touched down. We landed, and I got out and spoke to someone who didn't speak a word of English "I need a washroom, fast!" He didn't need to understand...he knew...as I had a two kids in tow...one holding her crotch dancing and the other holding a baseball cap full of puke! The story gets better. He takes us to this washroom...the toilet has no toilet seat and it is heaping with you know what! The sink is broken off the wall. Can't clean the hat, and no way my daughter was using that toilet. So she had to wait longer. We got into a cab to the Chitzanitza temples where there were nice clean working washrooms, my daughter whining at me the entire way there, "I have to go Momma!" and holding my son's baseball cap full of puke out the window! lol
The things we endure with kids! lol



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Posted on Thu, Aug 04, 2005 17:17

A little 5 year old at Sunday school recently was asked : 'What was God's greatest invention?' Without hesitation he said:'The mobile phone of course, so we can all communate with him.'..



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Posted on Thu, Aug 04, 2005 17:07

Hi Cats....awwww that is the cutest thing

  


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Posted on Thu, Aug 04, 2005 17:06

Hi Butter, yes I am a scorpio...my birthday is in October and I see we both turn 50 this year eh?

LMAO that is sooo funny!! Thats the best thing about kids you never know what they are going to say next

  


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Posted on Thu, Aug 04, 2005 16:57

I was out shopping with my two daughters (then aged 7 and 12), it was coming upto christmas and they needed party dress's. They had picked a a few out and were undressing in a communal changing room while I was hanging the dress's on the hooks. All of a sudden my eldest daughter(Tammy) stood stock still while staring at her younger sister(Cara) and said in slooooow motion....ohhhhh...myyyyy...gggooooddd!!!My eyes followed her stare to my youngest daughter ...my face went from scarlet to drip white and back to scarlet again as I noticed everyone in the changing room had stopped what they were doing and were also staring at Cara (who, to be fair was way too bright for her age and was always wearing my shoes and her elder sisters clothes)....there stood my daughter ..wearing my black suspender belt (with the fasteners somehow fastened together to make straps and turned upside down to make a bra!!) and my black lacy panties which were slowly falling off her!!!

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...well I laughed and Tammy cried!! This soon to be a teenager had never been so embarrassed in her life, and yes it was the last time she ever went shopping with Cara in tow! lol



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Posted on Thu, Aug 04, 2005 16:47

Hi scorpio... I havent welcomed you yet..Im Butter...(Mary) are you a Scorpio?
I am my birthday is Nov 3rd..

I have a cute story that Ill never forget..my son was the funniest, cutest kid i have ever seen..he will be 25 in 2 days,,but when he was very small he made everyone laugh..he was and still is the most honest kid youd ever meet..

when he was 2..he, his father and I were out for breakfast one morning..he needed to use the restroom..so he went with his father...
He came out first..as his father was still in the restroom, he was tired of waiting,,so down the isle he comes towards me..and waving his little hands in front of his face..saying whew..and as he approaches me to the table he goes..Mommy daddy stinks..he is stinking up the whole bathroom!!!!..And I was laughing so hard..he didnt say it quietly either..so next thing ya know, here comes my now X, and Im laughing hysterically..because he doesnt know that all the tables in our area heard what my little 2 year old said..
Ill never forget that as long as I live..it was so innocent..

  


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Posted on Thu, Aug 04, 2005 16:44

OMG That reminds me of my oldest daughter Scorpio...too funny! I was pregnant w/my 18 yr old at the grocery store...at the time my oldest was 2ish...She ran off from me to the other lane...I see her down there looking up at the shelf w/her hands on her hips saying, Why won't you talk to me...just talk to me...going on and on...I get down there and guess who she is trying to get to talk to her?
Aunt Jemima sp? or was it Mrs Buttersworth...I heck I don't remember now but GOD I died laughing!



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