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PMS THREAD..no WOMEN allowed!
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Posted on Sun, Jul 17, 2005 13:01

First of all YEAH RIGHT! As if no women are going to come in here and post! As if women listen! Uh huh!

This is in response to Angie's PMS thread where we men are not "allowed" to tread. So how about it guys? Post your survival experiences with PMS in here. Ever have a Christmas Tree stand thrown at you? How about finding the remnants of your favorite slippers in the garbage disposal? Ever been informed that your life was in jeopardy as a result of the lack of a good stock of a certain brand or flavor of ice cream in the house? Or (LOL) ever pick up your teenage daughter at work and have her scream in your ear "I hate my life and I hate YOU!"?

I have MANY stories to regale you with and will follow up with several as we go along.

PMS guys. Understand it. Fear it!



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Posted on Thu, Jul 21, 2005 16:40


uglyrockling write:
Well said Toons! Spoken (ranted actually) like a true woman in the throes of PMS! Brava~!

Thanx, I thought it was pretty funny. Actually, I never did PMS, lucky one I guess. I am just always a happy smart azz. LOL!



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Posted on Thu, Jul 21, 2005 16:20


Foraladie write:
FINALLY

How To Know If You Have PMS
1) Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2) You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3) The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4) Your significant other is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5) You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-###-####."
6) Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7) You're convinced there's a God and He's male.
8) You're counting down the days until menopause.
9) You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10) The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday

Man thats what happened to me this past week! Wow now I feel better I thought I was going insane!!!!



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Posted on Thu, Jul 21, 2005 09:33

Which reminds me...Monday is the big 40...So Ill be expecting some flowers sent to work...Or Ill have to pms in Columbus...
Irwin Stree Inn in Hanford Attn Lisa :)
hehehehehe



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Posted on Thu, Jul 21, 2005 08:35

At least Im finding you men know your place in life when we are having our mood swings lmao



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Posted on Thu, Jul 21, 2005 08:32


uglyrockling write:
Jens, you've obviously researched this subject very carefully .... interesting perspective! Particularly the Afghanistan perspective.

Speaking of the Middle East, a friend of mine has a nephew who is a company commander of a US Ranger company slated for deployment to Iraq in the fall. I mention him because he is an arch-advocate of having women in front line combat units, particularly in desert warfare where their ability to retain water and fight like hell for three days would be a great asset.



About 20-30 of those women should be able to wipe that place out in about 3 days. Much worse than that big bomb that was posted, but the fallout from the women may be worse. They have a memory much longer that radiation half-life.

lol



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Posted on Thu, Jul 21, 2005 08:20

Im trying to think of some horror stories when I was PMSing...hmmmm I know im so damn sensitive a week before if you look at me cross eyed I might cry lol Or I get ticked easily...hmmm
I guess the best would be w/my youngest daughters father...he abandoned me while I was pregnant w/her and moved to the East coast...well he moved back when she was about 4 months old...For her sake I tried to make it work and allowed him to move in...well 4 months into this and after the visine thing hehehe I kept telling him he needed to leave move in w/one of his brothers...I didn't want him around yada yada yada

Well one day while at work I pulled up w/all his clothes in the back of my car...I did give him a chance to save face and pull his car up next to mine and get out his items...he wouldn't so I left his suitcases and such on the sidewalk and drove off...don't mess w/a PMSing CAT lmao



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Posted on Thu, Jul 21, 2005 01:06


Foraladie write:
uglyrockling

Weird have you noticed, if they say no men allowed, men better not post, but here ONLY wemon post by no wemon allowed mmmmmmmmm
Ok I take care of it I will hire a few cats like below, Its called"Sweep clean PMS"



Foraladie, I must disagree! All of the wemons have respectfully declined to enter this thread.



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Posted on Wed, Jul 20, 2005 21:56

Well said Toons! Spoken (ranted actually) like a true woman in the throes of PMS! Brava~!



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Posted on Wed, Jul 20, 2005 21:14

True Reason Women are Cranky

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find
anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears.
Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption
the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner).
Along with those budding bo*obs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone
crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus
through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his
little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and
water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze.
When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will
invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our
big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and
puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs.
In-Labor. Calm down and push. Just one more (10 more) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the b*****d (and ho*rny dude) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb. Bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all
that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking,
jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-su*cking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more?

The kids are almost grown now, and we women hit our voracious sexual prime
in our mid-30's to early 40's while the ho*rny dude had his somewhere
around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).

Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all
womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now
seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods
without soaking their socks?

I love being a woman (call me crazy) but "Womanhood" would make the Great
Gandhi more spiteful!!!

And they say women are the "weaker sex." HA!



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Posted on Wed, Jul 20, 2005 16:49

You guys are lucky...as my Auntie is visiting right...LUCKY for you a near miss hahahah
What a witchie cat I can be MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWW



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Posted on Wed, Jul 20, 2005 16:48


Foraladie write:
uglyrockling

Also Studie shows why there is no more the condition as it was in the romans time a man can have many wifes, it shows [and its PROOOVEN] if you have many Ladies live together they will have there cicly together, A-can you imagine the cost? B-There is no way a guy could live threw that with 20 ladies?
Kind of like below

YEP YEP YEP...Just like my X had to deal w/me and my older two and most of their friends...and my friends that all hung out hahaha



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Posted on Wed, Jul 20, 2005 16:46


Foraladie write:
uglyrockling

Weird have you noticed, if they say no men allowed, men better not post, but here ONLY wemon post by no wemon allowed mmmmmmmmm
Ok I take care of it I will hire a few cats like below, Its called"Sweep clean PMS"

OMG Love the picture had to save that one!! POW POW BABY!!!



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Posted on Wed, Jul 20, 2005 16:45


katiegrl write:

petiteone39 write:

TheCatsMeow65 write:
Im PMSing right now....GRRRRRRRRROWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLL

Cats..wrong room..this is for evil men.



THIS is an evil man!

He is? Mellllllllllll I never knew what did you do?



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Posted on Wed, Jul 20, 2005 08:47


Foraladie write:
uglyrockling

Weird have you noticed, if they say no men allowed, men better not post, but here ONLY wemon post by no wemon allowed mmmmmmmmm
Ok I take care of it I will hire a few cats like below, Its called"Sweep clean PMS"

Raaaarrrrrrrr..that is suppose to be a cat noise. Have you ever heard of a women listening when it says do not enter? This is about PMS..we have a right to hear what you evil men say.



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Posted on Wed, Jul 20, 2005 07:33

Jens, you've obviously researched this subject very carefully .... interesting perspective! Particularly the Afghanistan perspective.

Speaking of the Middle East, a friend of mine has a nephew who is a company commander of a US Ranger company slated for deployment to Iraq in the fall. I mention him because he is an arch-advocate of having women in front line combat units, particularly in desert warfare where their ability to retain water and fight like hell for three days would be a great asset.



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Posted on Wed, Jul 20, 2005 05:31

Oooooh, good one Katie. We can see your monthly bill is nearly due, so just let it all out here, toots!



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Posted on Tue, Jul 19, 2005 21:53


petiteone39 write:

TheCatsMeow65 write:
Im PMSing right now....GRRRRRRRRROWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLL

Cats..wrong room..this is for evil men.



THIS is an evil man!

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Posted on Tue, Jul 19, 2005 13:27


fun4two write:

petiteone39 write:
LMAO..too funny..but this thread will die!



Not if you keep posting on it ... it won't!

Silly girl!! *wink*

~Smiles

Brian tricked me. DON'T POST ON THIS THREAD!



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Posted on Tue, Jul 19, 2005 09:00


uglyrockling write:

petiteone39 write: LMAO..too funny..but this thread will die!


Oh come now, Angie. Don't you have a scary story of your own to post in here? Something to frighten the cub scouts around the the camp fire. You've never lit a bed on fire with someone in it? You've never stuck sharp objects into the kitchen table or door?

I honestly had to think about that for awhile. I did take my ex's entire closet and throw it out the door once. It was too messy. I cleaned it perfectly a month prior. Boy, did I teach him.



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