Has anyone heard of the latest craze in Georgia, The Red Neck Olympics? Anyone ever been? This has gotta be wild!
What are some of the sports featured at the Redneck Games? How about the Mudpit Belly Flop? Or the Armpit Serenade? And then there's the self-explanatory But*t Crack Competition.
There's also the Hubcap Hurl, the Bobbin' for Pig's Feet Fest, and Redneck Horseshoes ? in which toilet seats are the objects thrown. Each individual event has its own legion of fans, roster of popular competitors, and history filled with tradition. People still talk about the 12-year-old boy who played the Southern ode "Dixie" with his underarm and palm back in 2000, everyone recognizes that Melvin Davis is the Babe Ruth of Bobbin' For Pigs' Feet, and it's common knowledge that the But*t Crack competition is becoming fiercer every year.
The oldest and most traditional of all Redneck games. The heavy-weight division is most popular, as contestants
try to skip bricks.
Originated by an ancient Redneck trying to clean his yard. A great fling is not only a beautiful thing to
watch, but often it is accompanied by the exciting
sound of something breaking.
Not the most popular sport because most Rednecks
"If you can't afford a motor, you can't afford a boat."
This sport is a Redneck favorite, since they all own numerous sets of jumper cables and all their
vehicles have dead or dying batteries.
The good ones can bring a sow into Times Square using only their voice. The great ones are often victims of sexual assault by live pork.
We're not talking about anything as sissy as following a blood trail.
A good tracker can trail a grasshopper down the interstate. A favorite put down in this sport is,
"You couldn't track a slug across a sheet of glass."
Who can run through a cow pasture without stepping in "you know what." A real exciting game when played at night with flashlights.
Bush Hogging For Distance
Put her in drive and hold on tight! A blatant disregard for personal property is an essential for this game.
Originated at night on construction sites by people looking to enlarge their homes at budget prices.
Mandalay207 write: I have heard of these extraordinary games as well. I also heard that there is now very heated competition between cities to host these games, much like the actual Olympics. Cites which are finalist for the next Red Neck Games include:
1. Hicksville, Ohio 2. Toad Su*ck, Arkansas 3. Little Hope, Pennsylvania 4. Odd, West Virgina 5. And believe it or not, Hornytown, North Carolina.
All real city names by the way!...lol
Can you imagine living in Ho*rnytown? I wonder if they reproduce a lot there? Maybe it is named after the Hor*nytoad?
I have heard of these extraordinary games as well. I also heard that there is now very heated competition between cities to host these games, much like the actual Olympics. Cites which are finalist for the next Red Neck Games include:
1. Hicksville, Ohio
2. Toad Su*ck, Arkansas
3. Little Hope, Pennsylvania
4. Odd, West Virgina
5. And believe it or not, Hornytown, North Carolina.
Yes, they do belly flops in a mudpit and then the judges hold up number signs and rate them.
A surprise guest will be attending Saturday's event. Who he/she may be is anybody's guess. My money's on Jessica Simpson ? hopefully dressed in the exact same thing she sports in that These Boots Are Made For Walkin' video.