OrionsQuest write: If he's that ugly or obnoxious Sharp, how'd you get involved in the first place??
Oooops, I'm sorry this is a new and improved Orion.
Allow me to rephrase.
Perhaps if one could avoid putting themselves into a situation where they might possibly hurt or offend someone who is ugly or obnoxious, they wouldn't have to concern themselves later?
But most women, Orion, don't usually think they're superior to any specific group of people (except telemarketers) so that they won't even TALK to them! I know I wouldn't turn my nose up at a man who didn't have "good looks." Who the heck would I think I am, snubbing people who aren't a 10? I talk to everybody!
In fact, I was hit on today by a 79 year old Sommali man at the bus station! He asked me if I was a Canadian woman and told me his wife was dead and he needed a beautiful woman and wife to take care of him because he gets "hot."
Now while I was thinking, "OMG!!!" I still talked to him (as I slowly backed away). And this time, I had the presence of mind to tell him I'm married w"ith a husband that I do good work for."
He left me after that. But he had no teeth and owned a face that would have made a Ferry take to dry land. I didn't flap my fingers at him and tell him to remove himself from my personal space! He may have had a hot son!
I agree Katie, unless your social calendar is already full, what harm is there in going out anyway?
As long as you "keep it on the table", who knows, you might even enjoy it?
I've found that more women are attracted to me when I am with female company, than when I am alone, (why is that anyway?). So while you're out and about having fun, who knows, maybe you'll bump into Mr. Right??
When I go dancing, if a woman asks me to dance, I will never say no. I still remember in High School the trauma of having to cross the gym floor and then worry about being rejected and walking back to the wall with all the other lame guys, snickering and pointing.
On more than one occasion, I've met some very nice friends of hers later!
As far as telling someone there isn't a chance for a second date, common courtesy and decency are never out of style.
champagnepowder write: Kudos to you Sharp if you just let the man know the truth.
Katie, I have seen that happen to friends (both sexes) in the past and I definitely think that is playing head games with someone. Usually you can sense when someone is interested in you and wants to pursue more than a friendship. At the same time if you know you aren't interested in them and you drag it out without telling them I think that is disrespectful and narcissistic. Sometimes I think people do it just to make themselves feel wanted and liked. I think it would be much better to just be real and let that person know that you aren't interested romantically. Hey maybe you can still keep a good friend instead of creating a bitter enemy.
Hey Sharp & Champ....
But that's why they say men are from Mars and women are from Venus! We don't think the same!
If I am approached by a really nice person (guy), I mean the great kinda person who doesn't fit your description of a perfect match in any way, shape or form ... and they ask me if we could maybe someday go for a coffee or something .... I instantly forget that this means, "Is there a snowball's chance we could have sex," and I figure ... "men have fragile egos, don't they? Then I'd better not hurt this guy! What's a lousy coffee to make him feel accepted?"
I don't think of it disrespectfully. I don't think I'm all that and a bag of Doritos ... like I'll do this dork a favor and treat him to a date with fabulous ME.
I think, "He's not someone I would ever date, but what's an hour over a coffee gonna kill me?"
Then, if you don't date him, and put it off and say you're busy, he thinks, "snotty bi-otch! Who does she think she is?" That really hurts my feelings then, that I hurt him and now he hates me!
One thing that comes to my mind is the definition of "games." When men write in their profiles, "No games," or "Game-players need not apply," they're mistaking a common female trait for duplicity .... but it's not!
Some men, (, we'll call him Martin) asks a woman out, let's say, but he just isn't the right type for her. But rather than dump him like a bag of trash, she might go out with him, just because she's not shallow. Or maybe she IS shallow, but she doesn't want to retain that negative characteristic and so accepts his date.
They spend a nice evening talking over dinner and on the way home, she doesn't give him any indication that she is interested in a "relationship," she MIGHT give him a kiss on the cheek .... but beyond that, she just had one nice night out with a nice guy.
(This can happen reversed-genders too!)
Instead of just saying goodnight and walking away, as often men do, he may ask her what she's doing the next day, or the day after that or the day after that or the next weekend.... all weekend, and instead of taking the hint and backing off ..... they DO call the next day and the girl (or guy) has to tell them they're busy.
Is this a cruel game or is it simple compassion and kindness? Is it "vindictive toying" or is it just "not wanting to hurt his feelings."
I wonder if the men,s views would be different from the women's.
"No Baggage" basically is someone who has issues whether large or small. For example: A guy dating a woman who has 3 ex-husbands and 4 kids quite likely will be subjected to Bubba/Husband #2 calling to make arrangements to pick up the kids. Or she may have a teen-age daughter or son with a bad and intimidating attitude towards parents/society etc.
Another instance would be a guy similiar to the character played in "Sideways" popping Lexapro/Valium etc. and still hung up on the ex-wife.
Game-playing: An extreme example would be similar to the character played by Mickie Rouke in 9-1/2 weeks. Also, refer to WWWW123 post on definition of narcasistic behavior. But basically they're someone who manipulate/control with sheer delight. Every move they make is well-calculated. Such as hinting you've gained weight, suddenly stop calling after coming on strong in the beginning of the relationship. I could go on and on but you get the idea.
Hi all.......been awhile!
On game playing, I think it means the heart wrenching type. Where they play they are into a LTR and then aren't just after sex.
That's ok if that's what you want but be up front and let the other person decide if they want to play that game too!
Bedroom games like champagnepowder mentioned are fun between 2 conscenting partners, but not head or heart games. They bring too much pain to one.
Do I guess the bottom line is say what you really want, and don't skirt the issue or ....play games! LOL
Hi Everyone, just thought I would try and add to this. Katie, I agree with both champagne and angel. Some people talk about not wanting game players because it is their way of saying they dont want anyone who makes it a habit to play games either with their heart or with their mind. Whether it has to do with someone who is taken trying to be with someone else while making that person believe they are not with another besides them..or when they pretend to be someone with whom they are not in regards to lifestyle, attitude, etc... As for the extra baggage..I could be alittle off but my understanding of it is when you are with someone and you are constantly bringing up all that is bad that someone has done to..maybe the way an ex treated you..or the way people in general treat you, maybe even someone who always compare the bad with what is going on at that particular moment (does that even make sense?) ..just that emotional rollercoaster thing
Something I wonder about and haven't heard a clear definition of is.... when people, (usually men), write in their profiles, "No games," or "Game-players need not respond," .... what "games" are you guys talking about?
Yeah, I forgot about Apprentice! Has anyone come to a conclusion as to what qualities a "winner" has to have to win The Donald's approval?
One thing I don't like about the arrangements of the competition is, the teams get a new project leader each week, and that person is accountable for all success and all failures, but the consequences for failure are getting fired whereas the reward for great successes is to NOT get fired!
I've watched apprentices be mean, rude, cruel, vindictive, coniving, vicious, duplicitous, and a whole range of negative emotions including "nice" (what a girlie word to use in relation to business), accomodating, cooperative, aggreable to all ...... does the nice Apprentice ALWAYS finish last?
Oh yeah .... what I didn't like was, as a PL, if someone balked at your instructions or just took matters into their own hands and did what they wanted, and botched the project for everybody .... the PL would ordinarily get fired when, if they had had the opportunity to actual "fire" the offending team member .... the sabotage would have stopped and maybe the PL would have been able to achieve the greater success. You can't fire a team member for being a jerk. In real life, you can. That's where it doesn't work for me.
Well Katie, I don't watch much TV these days but I do try to watch "The Apprentice", it's a not-so-subtle reminder that for a lot of the would be apprentices, being nice and being smart are not considered prerequisites to being "successful". Backstabbing, being inept at simple tasks, and simply lying (Amarosa) are apparently what motivates a lot of the young entrepreneurs today!
At least those that go on national TV!
Obviously there are good folks, and the few that there are, have shown a tendency to rise to the top of the crowd.
I also like "Survivor", but not enough to watch it more than once every 2 or 3 shows. If I miss it, no biggie. I think the reason I like it is because of my early childhood reading, such as "Robinson Crusoe" and "Treasure Island". The idea of being a castaway has a lot of appeal to me. When I was in the micropolynesians, I use to love to jump in a skiff and disappear for a couple of days, alone on an island!
The show I think I would enjoy most being on would be "The Great Race". Experiencing so many cultures would be awesome. Although I always imagine that I would probably lose the race by taking the time to admire and enjoy the local ambiance and scenery!
Is it my imagination (maybe editing?), or do a lot of the contestants (not all)often lack the simple courtesy of using "please" and "thank you"?
A show I always enjoyed watching but have no desire to be on, is "The Hollywood Squares".
OrionsQuest write: On behalf of the delightful Katie!
When I watch Jeopardy, I get a little more than half the answers right. So it wouldn't be wise of me to ever consider trying to get on that show.
American and Canadian Idol don't want me, they want my kidlet because she's the right age and will get up in front of an audience, with a mic, and sing anything.
I can't even WATCH "The Price IS Right!" It's the most ADHD show ever! I'd have to be strung out on cocaine to get competitive with PIR contestants!
Fear Factor is a no go. I can't even eat cooked lamb let alone gecko testes, swine sphincters and cobra toes.
So the Amazing Race or Survivor are two game reality shows I think I'd like to sign up for.
I can run fast, I can drive anything, automatic or stick, I can climb stuff, I love whitewater rafting, flying in planes around the world, breaking rocks with a hammer, shooting stuff, falling off horses, floating down a stream in a cardboard box, eating wild animal's eggs, trying to speak foreign languages and winning trips and prizes.
On the other hand, I hate bugs crawling up my shorts, I've had it with camping forever, I look hideous without lipstick or shaved legs, I don't have my maleria shots and I wouldn't be happy su*cking up to a bunch of people who can't even start a fire with flint and dry kindling, so that they won't vote me off.
Okay,.... if I could be on any real TV Game Show ........ it would probably be "Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire Who Knows Trivia and The Price Of Things, Sings Well, Doesn't Mind Sticking His Head In A Vat Of Llama Guts, Can Say, 'Run Over That Opponent' In Several Languages and ..... Just In Case ... Can Catch Fish With A CD and A Roll Of Pirate's Wire."
Maybe see ya on TV!
Okay, what game or game show would you like to try being on? What one would you su*ck at?