What do you do when a friend breaks your trust? Message Board

  • View author's info Author posted on Apr 19, 2005 19:16


    This is a question for both men and women. If someone does something that you forbid at the beginning of the friendship. Do you just kill the friendship?
  • 59Comments

  • View author's info posted on Aug 02, 2005 19:12


    Oh la la...I wonder if MM realizes how we have to read up and down, then up, and so on, then how much same activities with the hand it takes...do they do that on purpose?...:)

    Lost in Virtuality

    WWWW123,
    In regards to number 10: If I am embarrassed to look at ...stuff...in front of him...then I should not look at the stuff alone...I call this the ethical intimicy...I should be and feel very confortable..alone and with him on this subject...If it happens (we are bombarded nowdays so much with all types of images, etc..) to be embarrassed in front of him...then I should analyze and reajust the line...I think the line is inside ourselves..before being negociated with the significant other...We are humans and things, incidents can happen, it depends what we do with them...
  • View author's info posted on Aug 02, 2005 14:44


    Thank you Sharp, Sacredscientist and all that read me and are patient with my English, well, i just tried to stick to the initial post of Irish...and 2 questions come to my mind: 1. the lady friend wanted to understand why her bf could not focus on her? (where I think I situated my inuendo- because the Why thing is a long debate-) or 2. the lady friend is ready already to step out of that relationship ?.something like that...Because if it was no. 1, then that would mean for me that she wants to stay in the relationship and work on it (if in this situation I can say that).
    Also, the thing with the rules, we do not know what the rules have been in that couple...I, personnaly think men are an endangered specie, and, if they do that (oh bad boys you out there :), I try more to understand what is going on in their little head...work on something that the focus can be reestablished...And of course I want to be the Prima Donna...exclusivelly, absolutelly, eternally....
  • View author's info posted on Aug 02, 2005 01:13



    Aetios write:
    Sacredscientist, compliments for the poem in prose (who is author by the way?)
    But,
    Do you think it is so simple?



    I must claim responsibility for that work.
    Thank you all for the appreciation.

    I was dating a lady who lacked a certain .....emphasis in her relationship with me. That prose was part of a goodbye meeting that I had wrote out beforehand.

    I developed a rule to live by when I was in my early twenties.

    "Pick me first, or dont pick me at all"

    It means if I am not your first thought, your first choice, the number one wish on your list, then I dont want to be bothered. I figure that is fair since I only expect that which I give.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 02, 2005 01:07


    Sharp "I thought that's fine, but how often does it occur, how far does the head turn around, and as you said -- how long does the look linger!
    It's not cosure to make it obvious when admiring another man or woman. Not when someone you profess to care so much about is in your presence."

    ************

    Well, I have a question or two.

    1. If you are mated with someone, is it ok to admire another man or woman as long as your mate is not present?

    2. Have there ever been occasions where you have done so, on screen, stage, television, or the beach?

    3. Did you think it was ok as long as you mate did not know about you admiring someone else or maybe even lusting a little bit (a lot in the case of petite).

    4. Were you taught that being devious or not telling all of the truth about such matters is best? "little white lies" are ok?

    5. Is it more honest to admit that you look at others and dishonest if you sneak a peek, or maybe even sneak a meeting?

    6. Which is the healthiest, total jealousy of your mate, or total lack of?

    7. If you are not jealous, does that mean that you are a very secure person, or that you don't care about your mate.

    8. Have you ever posted a picture of a hunk on MM. Why? Have you ever looked at one? LOLOL

    9. I had a friend that said his wife would be mad if he went down the same path that a pretty woman went down two weeks ago. Was he being loved a lot, or just being abused?

    10. If you admit that you look, what makes it extra bad if you look in the presence of your mate? Does that make it more insulting or hurtful or indicate that you do not love him/her?

    11. If you pretend to not look, but actually do, what does that say about your character?



    more later, chew on these for now.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 21:03


    Wow! I'm new here tody! Where the hell did that BIG picture come from? LOL! There are things here I must learn..................
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 20:52



    13Bella13 write:
    This is a question for both men and women. If someone does something that you forbid at the beginning of the friendship. Do you just kill the friendship?


    Relationship rules are relationship rules - especially when trust is involved which is the basis for relationships. If, in the beginning, I was up-front and was adamant about *something* and the other person just blew it off, yes, it (not I) would kill the relationship. After all, if you don't have trust what, really, do you have? An untrustworthy relationship. No thanks.

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  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 12:48


    Sacredscientist, compliments for the poem in prose (who is author by the way?)
    But,
    Do you think it is so simple?
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 11:03



    wwwww123 write:
    You gals are too narrow minded and wrapped too tight. I will look at a pretty woman until the day I die. I will look at pretty eyes,lips, or even a pretty dress. I may even fall on the floor drooling if Hally Berry walks by. I sure hope you will take pictures if she gives me mouth to mouth or even sits in my lap.

    However, in my defense, I also look at pretty mountains, flowers, cute kids, cute cats, cute dogs, baby lambs, goats, horses, calves, birds, trees, or anything else that attracts my eye. I like to people watch, all types.

    To look at something interesting or different or pretty or cute does not equate to lust. Neither does a interesting conversation. According to these standards, I could never be married, because I can usually always find someone interesting to talk too almost anywhere, if I am in the mood for conversation. I am not a extreme extrovert, you should see what they would do.

    signed

    The Voyeurer

    Hey Voyeurer!

    Isn't this the reason why your still single?

    Just kidding.

    Nothing wrong with taking in your surroundings. The world has as much beauty as the many people we come across throughout our lives. There is a fine line however when it comes to your partner in life. This is a line that should not be crossed. You don't make your partner feel very valued if he/she always seems to be on the prowl, correct? If I were dating a man and was madly in love I too would be offended if my mate behaved this way.

    Man, I should have just stayed married, ok maybe not..(lol)

    I value all opinions so thank you for your response.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 10:26



    sharp1 write:

    Minerva415 write:

    sacredscientist write:
    In reference to the "Wandering eyes" issue stated by LadyIrish, I thought this small bit of prose might help.
    -------------------------------------

    ~~~~
    If I never told you, "You are the best Musician". Yet I attended every performance and gave all my applause to you, would you know?

    If I were not to say, "You are my favorite author". Yet I memorized your every work and displayed them proudly, would you know?

    If I failed to say, "I love you". Yet I showed you that in my every waking moment, would you know?

    If I lavished you with the words, "You are the most beautiful". Yet my eyes looked to all but you, would you believe?

    If I showered you with praise, "You are so very intelligent". Yet I would not seek your opinion on anything, would you believe?

    If I constantly said, "I love you". Yet my every action demeaned you in everyway, would you believe?

    Words are merely the expression of the current thought. The heart is revealed by ones actions.

    Should be a simple choice.

    A word that is not oft used anymore comes stingingly to mind.

    Character.



    Liked your piece of prose Mr Scientist.


    Likewise Mr Scientist...like your prose. I hope Irish reads it too.

    Yep!

    I think character is the root to ones soul.
    My gal pal is stopping by today to visit this forum after rather extensive convincing so she can can a better prospective. We will then do the Irish thing and have many glasses of wine. (Just gotta love the holidays)

    Thanks a bunch guy's. Great advice.

    Maybe one of you single guy's out there can sweep her off her feet. She's much taller than me so you better have a built frame and a kind heart. (lol)
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 09:51



    scorpio_ice write:
    LadyIrish:
    We search for our perfect mate but does he/she really exist anyway. So here's the question; Is this merely a representation of our time in
    terms of what we have to look forward to. Is the grass always going to be greener on the otherside?
    Or
    Perhaps he is very commited but he can't help being a fairly typical man who just looks!

    I welcome an outsiders opinion.

    Any of you guy's out there have the answer?

    Thanks.
    ************

    Well I personally wouldn't mind my guy looking at porn, maybe he could learn something for us to try together!! lol I would however have a BIG problem with his wandering eye while in my company! I would not only feel ignored but INSULTED!!

    My feelings exactly!

    Thanks for the response.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 08:40


    I really had to chuckle when I read the last line of Jean_guy's post as Minerva replied to it. I hadnt seen it before(shame on me).

    I must say I am a bit taken aback by your innocence Jean_guy. The simplest answer is often the best answer.

    Girls talk!

    If you think the females in your life havent discussed you; the good and the bad, then you are lacking some basic knowledge of the fairer sex.

    It is very possible that LadyIrish knows all about the sexual, emotion, economic, and husbandry skills of the man in question.

    Girls talk!
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 07:12



    jean_guylequebecois write:

    LadyIrish write:
    Perhaps I should add a new thread to an already saturated site calling it men with wandering eyes!

    I need a voice of reason for this one. So here it goes. A very close friend of mine has been in a relationship for three years and they live together. He is passionate, kind, great in bed and very loving. He has two kids from a previous marriage. He has only been with one women besides her, and that's his ex wife. There is one problem however and that is every time they go out, for example, amusement parks, concerts, dinner, or just merely walking down the street together, he has a real wandering eye, and doesn't hide it either. In addition, his computer get's plenty of use when his buddy's send him pics from various porn sites, he too searches around but doesn't subscribe, but he looks just the same.

    So what is she doing with this seemingly great guy (I ask her this often) She is very attractive, actually more so than him, has a beautiful body and face so why does he do it, particularly when he tells her he is very committed to her?

    We search for our perfect mate but does he/she really exist anyway. So here's the question; Is this merely a representation of our time in
    terms of what we have to look forward to. Is the grass always going to be greener on the otherside?
    Or
    Perhaps he is very commited but he can't help being a fairly typical man who just looks!

    I welcome an outsiders opinion.

    Any of you guy's out there have the answer?

    Thanks.

    sound to me that it is your boy friend that you re talking about and if so why are you not saying it clearly and if is not your boy friend why do you care about,but im pretty sure that he s your boy friend cause how would you know how good in bed he is care to share?????????

    You obviously don't understand the female relationship or there is still much to learn at the age of 34. News flash, women talk. (Even about their intimate relationships)Just look at the indepth coversations from women to women on this site alone. We are very open in our communication particularly between close friends. The point is they seemingly have a relationship yet his behaviour reflects otherwise. The issue is not whether or not he is good in bed.

    Perhaps when your older and wiser you will have something worthy to say.

    Thanks just the same.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 06:03



    Aetios write:
    Kattie, I know it was posted long time now, but I just saw it now, the silence after a syroupy seduction time (and sorry for my english) the way you were discribing it was oh how true... these behaviours are intoxicating overall relationships...nowdays, because of these new technologies (actually there a hypothesis running that terrorism exists because of the development of new technologies also...so maybe it exists a link with this cruel behaviours in private, intimicy also) the only explanation I found is that these people, who hurt that way another one, have no more feelings; what that means consequently, is that if sensitivy is so much erroded...is that the person has a mental health problem...(and yes it has a clinical term)...such as perverts...and, finally, accumulating relationships that way...(by hurting others)...is called an addiction problem...
    They can be very intelligent people, intellectually...but emotionally...there is trouble...huge trouble...not mature at all...So, the best way is to learn how to recocnize them....

    Irishlady...of what I understood (with oh so my bad english)...of your friends question...about her boyfriend...simple questions maybe like for example: why does he need such stimulation...that images, or eating up women around him....; on the other hand...doing this in front of his girlfriend is not bad at all...that can mean he includes her in this...so his thing could be not so serious, because he does not hide it...; also, I would take time with my boyfriend to look together to that stuff...instead only to let him with his friend doing it...in other words, I would participate in their stuff...and that way I would learn more about their need or motivations into these type of images...and of course in a playful disposition....
    Ouf, it was hard to write in english...sorry for my mistakes...

    Thank you for your response. I have referred her to this site so she can see things from other people's perspective not just her own.

    Thanks again for the advice.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2005 05:52



    sacredscientist write:
    In reference to the "Wandering eyes" issue stated by LadyIrish, I thought this small bit of prose might help.
    -------------------------------------

    ~~~~
    If I never told you, "You are the best Musician". Yet I attended every performance and gave all my applause to you, would you know?

    If I were not to say, "You are my favorite author". Yet I memorized your every work and displayed them proudly, would you know?

    If I failed to say, "I love you". Yet I showed you that in my every waking moment, would you know?

    If I lavished you with the words, "You are the most beautiful". Yet my eyes looked to all but you, would you believe?

    If I showered you with praise, "You are so very intelligent". Yet I would not seek your opinion on anything, would you believe?

    If I constantly said, "I love you". Yet my every action demeaned you in everyway, would you believe?

    Words are merely the expression of the current thought. The heart is revealed by ones actions.

    Should be a simple choice.

    A word that is not oft used anymore comes stingingly to mind.

    Character.

    This response is very nicely articulated. I'm glad I got different points of view on this issue. As close as I am with my friend it's very difficult to be the voice of reason when your single yourself. I have referred her to your post.

    Character is most definitely determined by ones actions. It's just unfortunate that so many men lack just that. (As I'm sure from a male's perspective that some women do to).
    Thanks.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 31, 2005 23:42


    In reference to the "Wandering eyes" issue stated by LadyIrish, I thought this small bit of prose might help.
    -------------------------------------

    ~~~~
    If I never told you, "You are the best Musician". Yet I attended every performance and gave all my applause to you, would you know?

    If I were not to say, "You are my favorite author". Yet I memorized your every work and displayed them proudly, would you know?

    If I failed to say, "I love you". Yet I showed you that in my every waking moment, would you know?

    If I lavished you with the words, "You are the most beautiful". Yet my eyes looked to all but you, would you believe?

    If I showered you with praise, "You are so very intelligent". Yet I would not seek your opinion on anything, would you believe?

    If I constantly said, "I love you". Yet my every action demeaned you in everyway, would you believe?

    Words are merely the expression of the current thought. The heart is revealed by ones actions.

    Should be a simple choice.

    A word that is not oft used anymore comes stingingly to mind.

    Character.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 31, 2005 19:59


    Kattie, I know it was posted long time now, but I just saw it now, the silence after a syroupy seduction time (and sorry for my english) the way you were discribing it was oh how true... these behaviours are intoxicating overall relationships...nowdays, because of these new technologies (actually there a hypothesis running that terrorism exists because of the development of new technologies also...so maybe it exists a link with this cruel behaviours in private, intimicy also) the only explanation I found is that these people, who hurt that way another one, have no more feelings; what that means consequently, is that if sensitivy is so much erroded...is that the person has a mental health problem...(and yes it has a clinical term)...such as perverts...and, finally, accumulating relationships that way...(by hurting others)...is called an addiction problem...
    They can be very intelligent people, intellectually...but emotionally...there is trouble...huge trouble...not mature at all...So, the best way is to learn how to recocnize them....

    Irishlady...of what I understood (with oh so my bad english)...of your friends question...about her boyfriend...simple questions maybe like for example: why does he need such stimulation...that images, or eating up women around him....; on the other hand...doing this in front of his girlfriend is not bad at all...that can mean he includes her in this...so his thing could be not so serious, because he does not hide it...; also, I would take time with my boyfriend to look together to that stuff...instead only to let him with his friend doing it...in other words, I would participate in their stuff...and that way I would learn more about their need or motivations into these type of images...and of course in a playful disposition....
    Ouf, it was hard to write in english...sorry for my mistakes...
  • View author's info posted on Jul 31, 2005 15:10


    Just don't bring Domino. I wouldn't last a hour. "A man has to know his limits"

    lol
  • View author's info posted on Jul 30, 2005 21:26



    Minerva415 write:

    wwwww123 write:
    Minerva, that was a good post. I guess you aren't totally a lost cause, but I guess it's too early to ask you to star in a porn movie with me, huh?

    ROTFLMAO.

    I am sorry, the devil makes me do a lot of things.

    lol

    wwwww



    wwww - please be more specific with your adjectives: too early in the day? (possible title of potential movie: Minny does Mornings....) too early in the year? Shall we wait until October?



    Minny, there are certain types of men that talk a lot of BS, but when confronted by a actual wild woman they run like he*ll and hide...... Well, that is not me. lol


    Tomorrow morning will be fine.


    And since I am going to get all hot and bothered and mess up my hair, I might as well make a day out of it. Bring a 1/2 dozen girlfriends when you come.


    lol
  • View author's info posted on Jul 30, 2005 11:36


    Minerva, that was a good post. I guess you aren't totally a lost cause, but I guess it's too early to ask you to star in a porn movie with me, huh?

    ROTFLMAO.

    I am sorry, the devil makes me do a lot of things.

    lol

    wwwww
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