So, if some of you are at all like me the first thing you do when you log on to this site is check out who's viewed your profile or who's interested (if you don't have it set up to email you directly). Then you wonder if the people that have viewed your profile are just window shopping or if they are shy or if you just didn't light their fire. So, I am wondering what people's opinions are on people who view your profile. If their picture is appealing do you proceed to read their little autobiography (or work of fiction as it may be in some cases) or do you just move on because they didn't contact you directly? What about winks? If you receive one from someone that sparks something in you do you respond or do you only reply to direct email contact? Just wanted some general thoughts because some of the posts here seem like woman are turned off by someone who just views their profile (they see them as perverted) and I can understand that this may show a lack of confidence but I think it also makes sense that maybe that person just wasn't interested in you once they learned more about you. Sure they liked your photo but once they read your snippet of life they weren't interested anymore. Any thoughts are appreciate.
Mag, I just got on this forum for the first time, I read that you dont get any responses, wow, hard to believe, so I sent you a wink. maybe you should check out the older sexier, woman on here, .....hint hint , after the 17th Im off though, hurry, kissses to you!! !
Tomi .... old? Revolting? Uh..............I don't think so.
BuffaloGrl. it's interesting you mention that point! I'm old-fashioned too and don't like asking men out on dates. It reverses the "man chases, girl runs until she catches him" concelt. I might wink online, but I feel dumb doing it. It's too ... forward. For me.
My daughter and I were talking about girls asking guys out first. She said she used to think it was dumb that older people (namely senior citizens over 30) ... considered it improper for a woman to ask a man out. Then, she said, the guys she asked out were so scared about being asked that they lost their voices and trembled and made some excuse for not going and then took off!
So now, she always waits for a guy to ask first (I TOLD her so) but she still didn't understand my view against friends with benefits.
She said some guys just want to "hang out" but don't want to get too serious, and some girls don't want to get all serious and become GF/BF either. I had to laugh out loud at that one. She hit me for it!
I asked her, "How can you be too old-fashioned to ask a guy out, but you think being a friend with benefits is alright?"
She said, "Motttttthhhherrrrr, it's the 21st century!"
I laughed and said, "Yeah! And these new millennium guys are getting smarter! They know a good thing when one of them invents it!"
I told her turbo-charged libido boys created the concept of FWB for many reasons:
- To get sex,
- To get laid and NOT have to go "out" with anyone in particular.
- To find a girl who will bring beer to his place so they can have sex and not be thirsty,
- To be uncommitted to any one special girl so that the field may lay open for any other chicks who will go to his room with beer and will have sex.
And I asked: "What do girls get out of being friends with benefits?"
She thought for a while and then said, "If a girl wants a friend but d...
In high school & my early 20's I had more male friends than females. They were good platonic friends, not FWB. My daughter, gr 10, also has many good male platonic friends...not FWB. And she has alot of guys wanting to date her...hoping for benefits, and she turns them down. She has confidence & her head on straight...I'm so proud of her! :-)
You are so Bang on katie when you said boys created the concept of FWB for many reasons...
Give me a break! Really, there are no benefits to the girl, only the guy.
Why does a guy feel he needs to be a FWB? (facetious question...see katie's reasons)
Whatever happened to his left hand, did he lose it???
MAG in answer to your comment on seeing who has visited your profile. It just came about back in say Octoberish. That was a new thing they added... Winks are sent by non-paying members because they can not directly write. If a paying member winks at you then i usually think they are really not interested as winks are so impersonal.(BlingBling) I have never sent a wink to anyone. If they only write one or two sentences. It does not take that much effort.. My favorite is open email blank letter . If they can't say something i usually delete those. When i write someone i am interested in i always leave an out. But in agreement with after you look at a profile 5/6 times(depending on who it is) then we might get the impression he is interested but afraid of being rejected or too shy. Sometimes then i will drop them a letter. Again with and out if no reply. With the IM many people u try to IM can't receive them. If you know they are paying members and they do not reply it's they are not interested or at a point they are busy. But talking on the IM does not mean you want to suddenly become their GF. I don't think it would be very spacious for the IM to have our pictures on it. It would take up too much room. Plus i enjoy just looking at peoples profile. It would not matter pic or not. Sure we would be able to see them but what of all who don't have them. I think we can tell pretty much when someone is interested on just "checking you out"and then some not so easy and wonder.. If you feel like writing a guy do so. if you wait for him it might never happen. So if he llooks good and might fit something you are interested in the only thing he can say is "No"...S4U
I've noticed the same thing, TomiGirl, I like emailing people whose profile I've enjoyed reading because of its originality... and I'd say that 95% of the time, I don't even get a thank you. I figure they say most of the time: "She's too far away, why bother..."
On the other hand, I always take the time to answer every email I get, it's the polite thing to do, takes 30 seconds per email, that's it... and I'd say that 95% of the time, I get replies back thanking me profusely for replying even if the answer was a polite "no thank you"... because like all of them say... no one cares to take the time...
It's all about etiquette. Online dating and social networking is a new technology in which the rules have yet to be established. There are so many posts of upset people who emotionally tie themselves to people they don't even know, who have just viewed their profile.
Just because you click on my profile, does not mean we are interested. There are multiple links on MM to get to a persons profile... Were you just reading a topic in the forum and clicked on a profile to learn more about the person who posted a relevant rebuttal? Or, were you just looking at who is in the chat room, and by clicking on the profile icon, you now officially appear in the 'who has viewed my profile page'. In the chat room you only know (age, location, gender, and username) The only way to find out more about a person is to check out their profile.
I dont believe in winks. I accidentally winked at people not meaning to, its a small link and too easy to do. It's impersonal and its just as easy to email a person a short message. Ask yourself this question (How romantic is it to click on a link to communicate for the first time with someone?) Email is the closest thing to writing a letter.. Everyone knows a love letter is one of the most romantic things a girl can get. How many of you girls still have past love letters saved in a special place...My advice in a nutshell is 1. Send emails, 2. Post comments, 3. Don't Wink.
Katie....thanks for the compliment and suggestion. I added marriage to the many things I am looking for because eventually that's something I would like to find but it definitely isn't the only thing I am looking for or willing to consider.
Mag..I just discovered the 'ability' to see those who view your profile too which is why I brought up this topic. I think some people wonder 'why have so many people viewed my profile but they haven't contacted me'. I think it's a combination of them not being interested once they read your little bio or maybe they are hoping you will contact them once you see they have viewed you....
just my 2 cents.
Magnumra.....alot of us have done just that. Sent a little thank you note maybe or commented on that particular person's profile, only to be ignored. No thank you, no nothing. I'm wondering why someone puts me on their "interested" list, but doesn't write a little note along with it, or even a wink. I'm sorry but I often wonder if I'm too old or just plain revolting!!!
So Katie, my neighbor to the north, you say you respond to winks and email but are you the initiater very often? I know I tend to feel the men should make the first move, maybe this way of thinking is too old fashioned and I should get over it. It is possible though that there are other women out there that feel the same.
My advice to women, if you view a profile and like what you see send a wink or a note. I have been on this site since last Sept.: I did the search thing, sent out some emails and really got no replys. So I sort of forgot about this site. It wasn't until this month as I revisited the site more closely that I realized you can check to see who has viewed your profile. I was pleasantly surprised at the number of hits, but equally surprise that no one contacted me. Must be someone out of so many hits wanted me to write back. Should have sent a note :-) I also just discovered this forum today. Very interesting.
No ..... I don't think of anyone being perverted Champ, but I must admit, the members of this one and only site are an enigma. It's difficult to figure what they're thinking.
I love winks. I wink back. I love it when someone puts me in their favourites file but as an unpaid member, I can't check to see who has highlighted me. But I can dream. lol
You're very right, the first thing I do when I log on is check how many people viewed my profile and if anybody new chose me for their F-File. Then I answer emails and then head for the forums to read what people had to say recently.
You've got a really hot "Vin Diesel" look going on, Champ!
Just an observation: another poster, RichieRich asked a question about why he wasn't getting any bites and when I read your profile, I got another idea. I read you were interested in a "long range relationship or marriage," I felt a little red flag go up in my head for a second. Nothing big, just a thought that if I responded to a member who was looking for marriage, and we met ... his expectations may be a little more serious than my cautious, take it slow approach to dating. Just a thought.
So all those who have put me in their favourites file, send me a note! Or say hi on the forum here! If nothing else, I'm fun to e-chat with. But I must warn you .... sometimes I might forget to email you back because I'm a bit unorganized. Don't take offense. I'm a wild and eccentric artist.
I am always flattered and hopeful with winks, and when someone reads my profile. although it is a bit disconserting to me if 150 men read my profile and do even say hello, A wink can be just a "hi you are nice" thing as well. Then I think that the rejection factor that feeds insecurity is lessened which allows more freedom of communication.
On the other hand, as mature adults, women, we need to not take it so personally, I myself do tend to be oversensitive at times... lol