Do expectations hinder relationships? Romance

  • View author's info Author posted on Jan 26, 2005 18:44

    The reason I ask is because I mentioned to an employee that we have good rapport and that it is hard to find that when dating. (No I don't date or have flings with employees. Can you spell lawsuit?) Her thought was that when a relationship is not the goal then you are free to be who you are - you don't have expectations.

    It got me to thinking. If a relationship is not the goal then you get past the minor things that might have hindered development of a relationship. You get to know the other person without wondering if this or that is what you want. Of course there are some expectations that dampen any relationship. But I wonder if I expect to much from first contact. If you are looking for a romantic relationship how do you overlook the minor things that you are afraid might be major in the future? Or is it as simple as with the right person you will develop the rapport because they meet your expectations? Don't know if it's worthy of discussion. Just something I've been pondering.
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  • View author's info posted on Jan 27, 2005 06:48

    I've gone out with a number of guys who actually had written checklists of what they were expecting of a wife.

    The candidate must play golf, like camping, and be into alternative music. Must be (Jewish, Catholic, or evangelical).

    Words like chemistry and communication are never on the checklist. Once you find yourself evaluated by the checklist the communication just isn't natuaral anymore.
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