And all you need is a good man to fill the position of husband? Do you seriously think there are men looking for the job of husband?
The only good reason for wanting to get married is that you have met the one. I understand you crave a vision that you have about how things will be when married. That's ot a selling point, it applies to pretty much every woman, keep it to yourself.
You are getting ahead of yourself. First you need to meet a man, then get to know him, then fall in love, decide he is your one and only and want to begin life forever with him, and only then is marriage a good thing.
So, stick with step 1. Meeting a man. You'll scare him off if you reveal your agenda. Concentrate on what kind of man you want to meet and why that kind of man will want you vs. other women.
We are lucky to be able to be mums..alot of the women out there are pining to have babies and have not found the sp*rm donor yet..and their bio clock is running out..
So enjoy motherhood as long as we could and look forward to the grand-kids...
I know you are marriage-minded, but Cupid needs time to aim at moving targets, and sometimes it is better to be on your own for a while , you are a tough independent lady who could cope with 3 jobs..I admire that..it should get easier once your kids are older..
being independent and single has its advantages too, you don't need to consult and you are free to make your own decisions..concentrate on your jobs and take on whatever advance training they may offer you..or if you find you have time, take on new evening /weekend courses to improve yourself, you never know you might find interesting men in a different learning environment..I know how you feel in your lonely moments but solitude is a good time to focus on yourself and loving yourself as a person. Mothers tend to give too much of ourselves, give a little more to yourself..and you will be much happier , it shines through and men see it too..take care.
Don't put yourself down for working. We all do the best we can, with what life throws at us. I am not a better mom then you. Even kids that are raised by nannies or a babysitter benefit from knowing that mom needs money to put a roof over their head, clothes on their back, and the means to have a life. I now work two jobs during the week and my kids spend the time they are not in school with my parents. I mainly see them for about 3 1/2 hours a night. I miss the time we use to have. But they understand that this is how life must be for now. You sound like a great mother. Your kids are very lucky to have you.
angelpassion write: Thank you wwww. As, a single mother raising 2 boys of almost different decades lol. 13 and 5, I am just trying to do the best I can.
Angel..you put me to shame, u are a far braver and better mum than I am..I tend to leave them to someone else..like boarding schools and nannies..and was a very reluctant mum..took me years to come to terms with that and did give up my career to try to be a mum..but must confess I did not think I did such a good job ..but found that it is far harder than my legal job..you have to be on 24 hour call and it is bloody thankless..but at the end I guess I decided to do it because I could not possibly see the sense of leaving the two most precious things in my life, my home and my kids to total strangers to mess with them..but I had to send them to boarding school at 9 and 12 due to the fact that the good private day schools around London were full..where they did learn independence and to appreciate home..
You are doing fine..but make sure you save some time for yourself , you deserve time out because it is such a tough job, a happy mum is a loving mum..The job of mothering do not get the credit and recognition it so desperately deserves..the new women in this century who have fought for their equality in every sphere will now have to rethink as Betty Friedan (the feminist leader of the 60s) so eloquently put it ..'NOw that they have won the equal rights war, women today should learn to respect one another for their choices whether to stay home or to carve a career or to try to play superwoman doing both..' Took a full circle for women to realise that..I became a happier born again mum when I was in Japan where women's role as mother has more recognition and respect.. Carry on the good job and you will be well rewarded in time..corporations are faceless and they will not remember you even if you did a great job but your kids will live to remember you ...
"POCKET MONEY-HOW MUCH TO GIVE AND WHETHER IT SHOULD BE EARNED THROUGH HOUSE CHORES?"
My son's money comes from doing chores around the house. If he wants more then he has to go out and earn it. Mow a neighbor's lawn or rake leaves. Winter shovel driveways. He is doesn't like to do it. So he never has much money. As far as saving. I give him a set amount then only give him half of it. The other half I put into a savings account. To go towards college. I some times do the same with the money he receives for birthday's and Christmases. Make him put half in his savings account.
As far as the amount to give, I would say it depends on age, how much you make, and how much he does his chores.
..so I m dealing with a wheeler dealer teen..will be visiting him in prison some day instead of some higher institution of learning if I don't skewer him down to hard work now..
Wheeler dealer is fine if he is giving value for the money - as in the comic book. Magic stones, no.
He may become the next Michael Dell or Bill Gates if he can stay out of jail. Maybe he should visit a jail sometimes to see how those people live. My children didn't know how really poor people lived until they were out of high school. They thought the whole world was a bed of roses. I made a real mistake there.
www. thanks for the suggestion but with boys at boarding school who come home only once a week and face a house with staff and not have to do much..it is almost hard to find him the chores that is his and not his..and his time is limited when he is home..which he claims is his time for rest and recreation..and thinking..lol
He has done window cleaning and mow the lawn and wash the car when he is hard-up..but prefers to make a fast buck the con-artist way like selling magic stones to an entire block of neighbors at age 6..and drawing his own comics for boys in his dorm to read which he charged 10 pence with continuing episodes the following week at age 9..so I need to keep an eye on his extra-income earning deals to keep him on the straight and narrow...his latest is trying to get on the computer games league so that games designers will employ him to test out their games..so I m dealing with a wheeler dealer teen..will be visiting him in prison some day instead of some higher institution of learning if I don't skewer him down to hard work now..
POCKET MONEY-HOW MUCH TO GIVE AND WHETHER IT SHOULD BE EARNED THROUGH HOUSE CHORES?
My son who believes that studying is such a hard chore and that he is only doing it just for me and therefore his pocket money is hard-earned and he sure spends every penny of it because he claims as a teenager why should he save, he is not saving to raise a family..so when he runs dry I make him do house chores to earn his extra income...but that means he becomes bloody mercenary and would not do any till he is paid..such a pain! Any smart ideas , anyone?
Yeah, re: blood tests ordered by the dr. Cub, you and your ex are the only two that know how serious your son's ailment was to be more accuract judge's as to whether the blood tests were needed. If he was better the next day, then missing them was probably not a big deal.
You will handle it as you see fit. We can only offer suggestions, knowing bare minimal facts. Only you can determine yourself if your own actions are fair and measure up to the action of wrong doing that you perceive.
Personally, I think our kids can spend way to much time on the computer playing games. Drives me nuts! Live life is my philosophy.
Cub there is a difference between your age and your son's, 11 yrs old. You can't expect him to think or behave as a adult.
I loved your story wellab, it made me laugh so hard! But it was an excellent example, and sometimes when another person can shed light on a matter from personal experience it can be the best advice. TLC.
Cub from one of your posts below, I got the impression that this test was not critical. I think that has a lot of baring in this matter. If it's not critical, then do as wellab suggests...TLC...otherwise you will come across as a bull-dozer to your son. You are going to win at any cost. Better maybe to consider his feelings, be understanding, reasonable and fair. Pick your fights. Don't make something a big issue, when it is a moot point. e.g. if he didn't really need this blood test, it was just routine...then maybe it's a moot point.
One day it may be a big issue, and if your son perceives that no matter what the issue is you are not fair, he'll close down, and tune you right out at the moments he may most need your guidance and advice.