Hey Hotmamma....Well your right about cliques...I guess the only thing that makes me really angry here,and I have complained only once during the last year,is when someone engages in plain old character assasination.That's an order of magnitude in difference from opinion.This has managed to be a pretty civil place....yaaay all....but when a person steps out of the bounds of opinion and begins to just throw out name calling...comments from out of the blue like,we'll since you know this or that you must be a hooker...or..just anything attacking the person giving the opinion,not the opinion itself..I've done it myself and was mortified...And yes...if someone attacks the character of my friend,not their opinion mind you,but the "person" of my friend,I am going to complain and say it loud.It's not something I ordinarily do.There are some just tasteless almost trashy comments and means of expression but I don't say much....maybe I mutter tacky...under my breath but I'm not going to get on here and call someone tacky or trashy becauuse I don't like the way they express themselves.That's attacking the person and it's wrong.If you catch me doing it...call me on it please....
Generally when we band together here it's because someone has made a nasty snap judgement or made a remark disparraging someone those of us who have been here a while have come to know and be very fond of.Remarks that are nasty,hurtful,WRONG and otherwise serve no purpose but to put someone down.What gets our dander up is that it usually happens to the nicest,most underserving people...like you Alberto...and those who have recently experienced the same type of just "nasty" jabs.That's about the only thing that ever gets me really angry around here.Otherwise I enjoy differing opinions even if we do ride the horse long after it's dead on some subjects..that's another thread altogether..lol
It has been a while since I've logged into the forum and read any posts, and I must say I am a bit shocked at what has transpired over the past 10 days or so.
First of all, I wish to say that my purpose for being on here was to contribute my viewpoint on the subject and hopefully spark some intelligent and though-provoking conversation. I am not here to insult anybody or put people down. We are all adults, aren't we? If you go back and read my few posts, you will see that I have never insulted anyone on this forum.
Furthermore, I am disappointed to see that I have been lumped in with EuropeanQT and several of the posts on here refer to the "Euro" ladies. First of all, please don't lump me in with someone I don't even know and assume we are one and the same. Secondly, what started out as an expression of opinion has turned into a rather typical (sadly) US vs. Them rally.
Just to set the record straight, I live in Canada, travel regularly to the States, have American friends, and friends/family in Europe as well. My perspective is derived directly from my experiences and I also realize that I don't have all the answers and that not all people can be lumped into the same categories. I request the same for myself.
Finally - yes, men just want to get laid sometimes. So do women. I don't have a problem with that in itself- what I would request from a prospective partner is to be honest about it and not put on false pretenses just to get into bed with me. Just be honest - now there's a concept that works!
I don't get what anybody gets out of endless chat of lies. Ask them to substiate everything. If they won't or the reaction is absurdly hostile, aren't you glad you asked? There is ALWAYS a way to substantiate. If they are cooperative, they will be creative enough to back it up.
Well, maybe not the disease part. conduct your exam while close, and then go through with it, or not as is your preference.. I'm sure a comment "I just remembered I have a little infiection in my mouh, better not" will get you out of smoothly if need be.
And pay atttentions. Drugs Free and Drug Free. Close but different.
Sames with Diseases Free. BTW, a litte birdy told me we all secretly have it. I know, most are without symptoms, but you all know what I'm talking about. Shssss. Let's keep it to our little group, MillionaireMatch.com.
Wait, my friend just informed me it's not a diseasse.. It's a stinky thing you get when you go days without a shower. I'm CURED!
Lola2005...I read what u said bout the sisterhood, hate to say this...it's not dribble & I think it's a great topic. I am a verteran of this site & have seen just about every type of man on this site.It is no fun to go thru months of chatting im's & on phone to these men to find out it was all lies. I hope that never happens to u.But then some of us are here for more than a romp in the sack. I want a lifetime partner & an honest one at that! Good Luck to u...Jolene
Now this might be my very last post on this site, because.. it has kind of appalled me to find so much prejudice here.
I have read many posts on american women and european women. Frankly.. I'm surprised by the stereotypes thrown around here.
I have travelled the world and lived in different countries. I have friends that are american and I've been to the states on a couple of occasions. My experience is that there isn't that big a difference between european and american..
Myself, being a swedish girl have faced the stereotypes connected to europeans and swedish girls. Now.. I don't recognize myself nor my friends in those.
We do NOT have nude beaches all over the place. In fact there are very few and those are secluded. We have one place in the city I live in that is totally covered and men and women are seperated. That's it. Should anybody drop their clothes on a public beach they would be arrested. And I would most certainly not feel comfortable doing so! Sunbathing topless is allowed but far from everybody does it.
Also hearing about the bitchyness that we supposedly have, had me stunned. Neither me nor anybody I know of my fellow citizens nor friends from different countries in europe are like that. In fact being humble is a highly regarded trait that are strived after. And being awful when men approach is just bogus. So is the fact that we sleep with just about anybody!
We are not hypocritical when it comes to sex but that doesn't mean that we do it whenever with whoever. A nipple shown on TV is ok, whereas severe violence is not. We don't have rules that sex on the first date is tabu but ok on the 3rd or 7th! You do it when it feels right. It is purely individual, just the same as for my american friends.
I'm comfortable with myself, my body and sexuality. In fact my exhusband and I had sex on our first date. The relationship lasted 8 years. We knew eachother since before but that was the actual first date. There was no disrespect, just attraction and infatuation.
And as for having disrespect for people that gives it up easy.. I don't know about the states but overhere.. men can be judged as easy and nondesirables if they sleep around just as well as women can. In fact the easiest person with the worst reputation that I've ever known in my life has been a man.
It seems as the opinion on european women comes from tacky old movies from the seventies... how many have actually been to europe and met europeans?
Fact is that europe is huge, just as the US. You will find different people with different morals and points of view on both continents.
And going back to the original thread..men like sex. Most of them want it whenever they can get it. Many women like it and want it too. It's nature. I don't see anything wrong with a purely sexual relationship if both parts are consenting adults. It's none of mine or anybody elses business. Why being so judgemental about it?
Myself, I want a real relationship. I want to fall in love. I joined this site because I haven't found anybody in my neck of the woods that I have fallen for, but the common idea of nonamerican ladies, seem to be that we're young sexthings to hang on your arm and flaunt. I'm pretty discouraged by this and seriously considering leaving this site. Not because I don't get any emails. I do. But I want a real man and a real relationship. Not to be a throphy, and I'm most certainly no golddigger!
I realise this may come across as bitter and angry.. and I'm really a pretty easygoing person, but after getting (introduction )emails from males saying:" you're beautiful, I earn this much money come to vegas and marry me. " and then reading the posts in here.. it makes me upset and sad.
Now I do know that not everybody thinks like this, as I said, I've visited the US and I have friends overthere, but I guess I needed to vent.
Mom used to always say wear a suit and tie. Was she wrong about that part too? It doesn't help our chances? LOL!
I mean since you just screwed up about 50 dinners that were to take place, and saved a combined total of about a million dollars in a lifetime of future dinners amongst all men (I'm telling every man about this 50 years of scamming men for dinner women have had going), I hearby offer sanctuary should the sisterhood decide you gotta go.
Beyondbelief: Your statement is beyond belief. You're saying women owe men sex just because men ask them out on a date??? Do you realize how long and hard women have fought to change that mindset in men? Women DO NOT owe men sex or anything else, just because they go out on a date with them. Have you ever heard of 'going dutch?" Where each pay for their own way on the date? Women began doing that exactly for the reason I just mentioned. To send a message to men that women do not owe them sex in exchange for a date. They can go to a prostitute for that. It is the woman's CHOICE to have or not to have sex with the man she's on the date with, 'choice' being the operative word. There is something called 'respect,' and any man who expects sex in exchange for dinner or whatever, is not worthy of respect. Who wants a man like that? I sure as hell don't. Maybe you give out to every man you go out on dates with, but have you ever thought about this? One of those men MAY have been testing you to see if you were a respectable woman or not. Some men will do that, and if the woman gives out that easily, he decides she's not worth his time. You may have missed out on a great guy, simply because of your old mindset that women 'owe' men.
I don't understand why so many women are so against the way most men naturally are. Men want sex. You don't? I do, there is nothing better. And no, I don't have to love him, get real, that was what Mom told us when we were 16. I married as a virgin. The Bitch! (sorry Mom). So how soon? 10 dates, 10 minutes. It's not how long you've known the man, it's how much chemistry you feel. Men, don't spring for an expensive dinner on the first date. Drinks are good. Who wants to be stuck if it's not going to go anywhere (or if it is immediately going to go somewhere LOL!)
Those who are dating to "get something" like a nice dinner, that's almost like a form of prostitution. Why should he have to prove or spend or make a larger effort than her? It's equal, we are not in the fifties. Men, stop being such a doormat and letting them get away with it. You are getting nothing but proof that you are a sap by making the the encounter in her favor from the first moment and women will keep taking advantage of that as long as you keep letting them. It's NOT going to improve your chances. Most women have a pretty good idea where it might or might not go even before we've met you, and if we don't, we decide in the first few minutes, the venue is not even a consideration. Sure, it might pursuade us to meet you where otherwise we might not have, but in that case, it's STILL not going anywhere. you're being used --HELLLOOOO! NEXT!
I love men, and the older I get the more I "get" where men are coming from. Sex Planet. When I started searching online dating services, I ended up having two ONS (one night stands) because the guys sweet talked me into believing they thought we were a perfect match and could have tons of fun together in the future. But right after the sex, they had to go but would call me next day. It never happened.
The last time I went out with a guy who said we were amazingly compatible, I thought, "Yeah, right. Like I haven't heard THAT before." But I left myself open for possibilities! After a nice dinner, we strolled slowly to his car, chatting about nothing in particular, he opened his car door for me, I got in and instead of closing the door, he moved closer to me. I wasn't paying attention because I was looking for the seat belt lock and when I turned to face him, he had his Happy Hal out! Then he whispered, "wanna suck it?"
I was thinking, I had just had Tetley tea and wasn't sure if male appendages should be sucked on accompanied by a nice, dry white wine or a fruity sangria.
Luckily a couple were coming towards us along the sidewalk and I said, "do you like an audience?" And he shoved it back in and got in the car and drove me home!
I think there are enough information web sites that detail what men like and what women like that we shouldn't be confused, surprised or dumbfounded about what the other wants. Vivre la difference but, let's remember each other's mandates!
EuroQT...I don't think Babeat has anything to feel jealous about with an attitude like yours. Any of the men I have ever known would not give you a second glance. They appreciate manners on a lady. But then again, you are still just a young girl with so much to learn.
FYI-- I have traveled to 6 out of the 7 continents and my warm southern U.S. American charm was always appreciated every where I went.
I just want to say.....'COUGH!!'...
Well...actually...I'll do more than that....haha...
I'm here trying to decide if I should say something about this or not....I'm a pretty relaxed woman...but...OK...I'll say it...
I think NOone has the right to talk about pics!!!! Mostly YOU EQt!! I mean...really...what do you expect to get with you're 'sexy...sensual pic'??? LOL...I mean...really...Do you think any man would take YOU seriously???....*mumble...mumble....cough!'
There....I've said it....
But...I must say...I'm not really like this....lol....you just caught me in 'what the heck kinda mood'.
And I wish I had read my message before posting it because I do know how to use proper grammar and make complete sentences. Actually I don't look for or anticipate sex on the first, second, third date or within any set time frame. I'm just saying that some women might need to evaluate their behavior if they are frequently dealing with randy behavior on the part of men.
Back to the original question. The answer is no not all men are looking to just get laid just like I am sure not all women are looking to be kept. I don't know why people have to play games like I can't do it because it is the first date. For Pete's sake if it feels right and you want to do it then what does it being the first date (or any other artificial reason) have to do with it. I don't disrespect a woman just because she did or didn't. I think less of her if she is not sure enough about herself to know what she wants or what is right for her. How many times has a woman started out saying no when she really wants to say yes? Alot. And woman if you really don't want to have sex then want's the deal with putting yourself in situations/positions that imply a willingness. Holy cow I'm not a priest. If I am attracted to you and you flaunt it then don't act all surprised when start seducing you.
Romance.... is so boring!!
please!! I like to have fun, romance isn't very exciting... it's sappy, Having a great time with someone, laughing!! Doing something insane and enjoying, being a little dangerous,and nasty, that's more like it!! Heat!! geez, I feel for guys when it comes to that stuff, get it away from me!! I don't chick flicks or shopping either, and yes, I like porno!