best way is to have lousy sex with them. NYChick when are you going to stop fooling around on this dating site and marry me? Come on. I've got a freezer full of beer for you to open and bring to me. And no sipping. get your own beer.
hmm i dont get many emails.. But if i did i would hmmm simply ignore.. response means they caught your attention.. if they take it personal that you did not respond.. well then i say hop in a cab buddy and hit the therapist...pronto!!
I've read each of these responses and they are all basically saying the same thing: This is a problem on both sides of the fence.
I agree - I've tried the polite route and been called 'shallow', I've tried the "no thanks" route and been found on the IM train of rudeness. I'm not a fan of either.
I think it's each individual persons reaction to rejection. One who is secure in themselves and how they look will not take it as a 'personal' stab at their EGO - ones who do, well, we all make choices, don't we?
I just try not to dwell on those who attempt to make me feel bad because THEY do.
I wish everyone the best of luck and thanks for responding to these forums. I'm learning A LOT I thought I already knew! kisses
maybe I am odd, but no explanation needed... Actually, by telling them why, you might be needlessly hurting their feelings, and hence the reaction of anger... Surely no one here is a virgin that has never experienced rejection before... Just politely say "no thank you" and leave it at that. If they get snippy after that, that is their problem to learn to deal with. If they get silly, then they should be reported for abuse... IMHO... But what do I know... I don't have a partner and I'm looking on the internet :o)
BTW, men do not have a monopoly on behaving this way...
1hotmama.....I have had the same thing happen. Someone writes and pays me a compliment and say he wants to know more. I simply say Thank you for the compliment and don't say anymore, but I still get emails. It has gotten to the point of not saying anything..
I'm not gonna say I'm innundated with emails, but I do get my fair share. I TRY to answer with a polite turn down with a Thank you and Good Luck, but figure at least I answer. I wrote BFD a short email about the comment at the bottom of his photo... Something like, it's better to take a good pic of yourself as opposed to someone else taking an ugly picture of you. What did I get.........an automated response. CRACKED ME UP!! I am not interested in him in the least... Was just making a comment, but when I received that type of response, I thought how callous and shallow to think you're ALL that..
You don't have time to answer every message, better to put some attention to the one's that you do.
Popular women get inundated with messages. I've seen a few in action and they delete messages in large blocks sometimes without ever even opening them.
If you took the time to compose a reply to me, I'm going to assume you have an interest no matter what you said in the message.
There are a lot of reasons why a woman might not say what she really wanted to say. Somtimes women are bitter, have no self-esteem, are just putting out feelers while maintaining denial of that fact, or they just want the recipient to take up pursuit.
Don't start in interaction unless you want one is my advice and if you are able to slam a man in response, make sure you don't get all upset if he slams you back.
From my site, an example from beautiful women:
You know it's true.
Since you're really good looking, your probably don't like sitting back and letting them come to you, it's too much work to sort through them. You get a hundred e-mails right from the start.
You read a few of those inbox messages, maybe even answer 1 or 2. But by the 10th or 15th message, they all sound the same:
You get quicker and quicker at deleting them.
No pic? In the trash!
Starts out raving about your beauty? Delete!
85 to go. Pretty soon you start deleting them for any reason at all and after a while, maybe you aren't even OPENING them before deleting them. You start deleting them, faster, then even faster. Finally you are deleting them in big blocks.
Then you start browsing and you pick the guy you want, probably one that didn't write you. Damn, why doesn't the one you WANT ever write you.
So you want to seem cool and not too eager. You send a casual message that makes you seem so "there for another reason", you say something and maybe you're interested, maybe not.
What you wrote him didn't indicate interest exactly and it could go either way. You left a remark that sort of shows interest yet feigns disinterest to see if he bites. Sort of like:
Hi, I was just walking by here and my fingers slipped and typed you this message. It wasn't on purpose because I'm not looking. I have men all around me and I don't HAVE to go looking, not on the internet. I certainly am not applying, if that's what you think, I don't have to prove anything to you. What you seek doesn't exist. I have more men than you can imagine and every one of them blows you away in every category. You're not all that. I feel sorry for you, good luck. Asshole. Don't write back, I've blocked you.
Meanwhile, you are wondering why Mr. Right never writes you back!
LOL...you pose an interesting question. As a guy, if I send out a response to someone and I all I get back is silence that pretty much let's me know the person isn't interested.
Some guys simply can't take a hint and/or have such fragile egos that rejection (even passive rejection) just doesn't sit well with them. It probably is (in part at least) why they are single.
Now explain to me why you haven't responsed to my last 8 e-mails of my 15 IM's!!! You're so mean!! : )
Let's face it...the is no "correct" way to turn down the advances of a childish person, who peevishly acts like a 3 year-old being told..."This candy is NOT for you". My advice has always been to politely notify them. Then, when the FLAME you, do like we do in the secure computer site business: DELETE before reading! hahaha
I believe in honesty too. I have been cursed out before because I don't want to date a man with children (wasn't on this site). It's just a preference. I would seem to think that people in general would prefer honesty instead of being led on...at least I do.
EuropeanQT, I think you have just run across the ill mannered. I don't think you should change the fact that you are honest.
I agree with you on the father figure thing. I noticed that 50 something men are saving me to their favorites. My parents are in their 50's and I just cannot see dating someone in that age bracket.