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Why Are American Women so Hung up on Age
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Posted on Wed, Apr 24, 2013 07:38

Quoting scholargirl007:

Quoting SundanceWoman:

Well said Hoping4love2000!  Most of the men in their 50's and older on MM want women in the 25-30 yr age range.  They say they want the woman to be financially well off as themselves, they believe this will protect them from gold diggers.  What about the divorced women who came by their money by way of the ex-husband? A woman's income doesn't necessarily dictate that she is going to be looking for a man with money to "take".  If anything it seems to me that since these men have the money they also have the upper hand and can very easily break off anything that doesn't seem right.  I agree about the younger women who date older men who  are through with raising families and want to enjoy the fruits of their labor with travel and cultural pursuits.  They go along with it to be wined and dined and taken care of and then change their minds when the clock starts ticking.  Find a woman close to your own age if you really want love and "happily ever after", you have a much better chance at succeeding.

Although I respect your opinion, I do not find this to be true.  I have many offers and relationships from men in their 50's (me being 42).  They do not expect me to have wealth, although they do expect me to have financial responsibility.  Maybe it is my education and profession since they know that a college professor is limited in income.  I can say that the one difference that MIGHT set me apart is that I have not wanted marriage. I approach things in a non traditional way.  I have been particularly happy in open and long distance relationships. I have my own life and want some independence.  Normally the man does not use the freedom, but he likes it being there. They feel pretty committed. I get the "L" word. The fact I don't (or at least haven't) want marriage maybe making it easier.  I am open to marriage if I meet the right person, so we will see what happens.

HI SCHOLARGIRL-- AND WELCOME TO THE BLOGS!!

I too have dated many older men. (I am 46 next month.) 

This blog is about men ONLY interested in "far younger women." not men who are realist! I think the woman who respnded to me just missed a word in her initial sentence, (Most of the men in their 50's WHO WANT young women) You are no referring to "these" men. This particular man is in his 60's and is considering more children and wants to know why he can't land a 30 year old easily, and faults the women on the age issue!! LOL

I agree with you completely--- Most "sensible" men in their 50's etc... DESIRE a woman DONE with children! We've all, "been there, done that!" and ready to enjoy our lives on another realm! 

Personally, men don't ever care what my value is financally. I just tell them upfront, I'M BROKE! ;)



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Posted on Tue, Apr 23, 2013 08:18

Quoting SundanceWoman:

Well said Hoping4love2000!  Most of the men in their 50's and older on MM want women in the 25-30 yr age range.  They say they want the woman to be financially well off as themselves, they believe this will protect them from gold diggers.  What about the divorced women who came by their money by way of the ex-husband? A woman's income doesn't necessarily dictate that she is going to be looking for a man with money to "take".  If anything it seems to me that since these men have the money they also have the upper hand and can very easily break off anything that doesn't seem right.  I agree about the younger women who date older men who  are through with raising families and want to enjoy the fruits of their labor with travel and cultural pursuits.  They go along with it to be wined and dined and taken care of and then change their minds when the clock starts ticking.  Find a woman close to your own age if you really want love and "happily ever after", you have a much better chance at succeeding.

Although I respect your opinion, I do not find this to be true.  I have many offers and relationships from men in their 50's (me being 42).  They do not expect me to have wealth, although they do expect me to have financial responsibility.  Maybe it is my education and profession since they know that a college professor is limited in income.  I can say that the one difference that MIGHT set me apart is that I have not wanted marriage. I approach things in a non traditional way.  I have been particularly happy in open and long distance relationships. I have my own life and want some independence.  Normally the man does not use the freedom, but he likes it being there. They feel pretty committed. I get the "L" word. The fact I don't (or at least haven't) want marriage maybe making it easier.  I am open to marriage if I meet the right person, so we will see what happens.



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Posted on Mon, Apr 22, 2013 16:36

I can only speak for myself.  I have a history of dating wealthy men in their late 50's.  No, I am not a gold digger.  I am an educated woman with a career that society does not appreciate too much (regarding salary), yet I am very comfortable in a world with like minds and successful people that enjoy life to the max.
Even in my early 40s, I have raised a family and am on to my last stage in career and being an empty nester.  Older successful men, from my experiences, are quite stable and are ready to slow down in the corporate world enough to enjoy having me around and living life. I cannot have, nor do I want more children, so someone looking more toward retirement soon (even partial) better fits where I am at in life.
I dated younger men in my past.  Most were focused on getting their life going, settling down, raising a family.  That is not where I am and we would both be miserable.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 14, 2013 14:39

I am European woman, living in the US. My question to you is this: if age is only a number why do you only date women that are much younger than you. It works both ways you know..



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Posted on Tue, Apr 09, 2013 22:12

i thank age is just a number. and has no meaning what so ever. You love who you love. no matter the age. I loved my ex and he was 38 and i am 20. If he was still here i would still be with him.



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Posted on Mon, Apr 08, 2013 12:22

Hi BUTTER-- 

NICE BIKE! You need to get that picture of your new one! ;)

I think age difference depends ONE MAJOR FACTOR.

------CHILDREN------

BY 36, you may feel you are old enough and self-aware to know if you want children. (and you very well may be) But I have seen MANY women around their 40's... (Something about that old time clock ticking! LOL.. ) CHANGE THEIR MIND... This may not happen to you of course, but you still have YEARS to make a final decision. You appear "free spirited" so this may never happen in your case, however, 2 things I note about your profile.


1. It does not say DON'T WANT CHILDREN--- EVER... so it does not appear you are adamant about NO CHILDREN?

and 2. If you will date young men of 28 / 30 / 32 / 35.... Well, even if they think they don't want children ever-- They still have YEARS to change their mind.

I find dating after 45 much easier. It's a no-brainer for me. If a man is of "good" age to have children and does not already have them, I DON'T DATE HIM. (I consider men at 40 to be of age to rely on him NOT changing his mind.) I don't want to be left at 50 or 55, by some man I love that I got with when he was 30 who SWORE he didn't want children ever.. and then 10 years later has that yearning,,, and yes ladies,, SOME MEN DO YEARN FOR CHILDREN TOO.. In fact, I've known couples who have split B/C the WOMAN said NO to kids! LOL... 

Ive also seen "bad dating." I had a friend from HS.. He is raising 2 boys and is SNIPPED! NO WAY is he having more children! .. Well he dated a woman 28 who had never been married and had no children... 2 years later, it didn't work! WHY? B/C she still had to LIVE LIFE... And part of her future is to possibly have children. I told him I didn't feel sorry for him... He should have known better!!

People may "THINK" age is "just a number"..
but at the end of the day---- 

CHILDREN RULE OUR LIVES--- EVEN SOMETIMES BEFORE THEY ARE CONCEIVED! 

People need to date responsibly. 

And the original poster here.. 62 says NOT SURE IF HE WANTS MORE CHILDREN?? OMG!! That is INSANITY! Men start increasing for birth defects at 40! (as do women) 

Good to see new members posting ladies!! WELCOME TO THE FORUMS! Hope to see you around more. The blogs get stagnent with lack of members. BEST WISHES TO ALL OF YOU IN FINDING WHAT YOU SEEK! :) 



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Posted on Sun, Apr 07, 2013 17:59

Wow.  I'm 36.  Don't have kids. Don't want kids.  Never have.  I usually date men about 10 years older than I am.  We mesh more, although now that I'm getting older, I don't mind guys my age as much.  I don't think 20 years in age difference means much when you're over 30.  You just have to have that connection, and respect for each other.



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Posted on Thu, Mar 28, 2013 13:36

I don't think all American women are hung up on age.  I have always dated older men because they are more mature and I feel that most older men understand and treat women with more respect than younger men do.  I actually have in my profile that age is just a number and it truly depends on the person and NOT his age!

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Posted on Sat, Mar 23, 2013 10:03

Very funny topic but ladies explained it well. 
in my humble opinion, most europeans who date double theor age are obviously gold diggers.
most important as some mentioned, why aren't the older men looking for older women? 
Look, in my opinion, doesnt matter the age, attraction is important. I'm close to 37 and I look very young but after a certain age, you will start having health problems too. In my opinion, there is higher risk in losing someone faster the older they are and I doubt anyone would truly like to find love and lose it instantly too. 
I refuse to go out with younger men.. 4 years and younger is just strange to me and they haven't matured or experienced enough in life. 
Some will agree and some will not. This is just my opinion. 
Have a good day!



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 Chat now 
Posted on Sun, Feb 10, 2013 19:59

Quoting Livnlov:

Quoting Jenkneee:

The OP of this thread typed "Age at least in my view is a number." I am gonna assume he meant  that "Age, at least in his view is (ONLY) a number? "
If age is just a number to you, why is the oldest of your age range 14 yrs. younger than you? Clearly age is just a number to you ONLY when the women are much younger, 14 yrs. (or more) younger than you!! Ridiculous.
So I will turn the tables here and ask you- Why are YOU so hung up on age?!

Jenk,

That observation is astute! Simply brilliant. I haven't read his profile and I am unlikely to, but I think that your observation surmises it all.

Whilst I cannot speak for American women, I think the author's comments are too generalised and are rather sweeping. All American women can't be like that, surely?

Again, whilst I am willing and perfectly happy to date a man that is 10 years old than me, I won't be caught dead with one that is 10 years younger! So there are women that actually prefer men who are much older than they are.

Liv.

Thanks Liv, women think differently than most men. The majority of men in California are the worst I have come across as far as how picky they are, their age ranges,etc. and not being open to the possibilities whereas I am not bias to either older or younger men, within reason.


I used to think I would never date younger men but someone opened my eyes about it and now I prefer younger men (within a decade, no more than that).  In fact, I haven't dated anyone my age or older since I've been divorced. At my age, so many of them are stuck in a rut. I am not bias to older men, there just hasn't been the opportunity for me that I would want to take.  The older you get, the more you might change your mind about dating younger men..possibly.



The OP is a perfect example of wanting only younger women while he is getting older by the minute. He wants what he wants and seems to be arrogant about it.

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Posted on Sat, Feb 09, 2013 09:46

Really well said!



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Posted on Wed, Feb 06, 2013 19:02

Quoting 4EverLoyal:

Allow me to say this, "gold diggers"do not care how old you are, they will date anyone from 65 to 85. If you a looking to make a life with a respectful woman, most will consider men around there age group. However, there are women who will date an older man because they care about him as a person and not his check book, they are out there, but most are not the super models that older men seek. I guess the correct question is why do successful older men want younger women.
Isn't that the same as being hung up on age; Older male, younger woman.

SPOT on!
Liv.



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Posted on Wed, Feb 06, 2013 18:59

Quoting Jenkneee:

The OP of this thread typed "Age at least in my view is a number." I am gonna assume he meant  that "Age, at least in his view is (ONLY) a number? "
If age is just a number to you, why is the oldest of your age range 14 yrs. younger than you? Clearly age is just a number to you ONLY when the women are much younger, 14 yrs. (or more) younger than you!! Ridiculous.
So I will turn the tables here and ask you- Why are YOU so hung up on age?!

Jenk,

That observation is astute! Simply brilliant. I haven't read his profile and I am unlikely to, but I think that your observation surmises it all.

Whilst I cannot speak for American women, I think the author's comments are too generalised and are rather sweeping. All American women can't be like that, surely?

Again, whilst I am willing and perfectly happy to date a man that is 10 years old than me, I won't be caught dead with one that is 10 years younger! So there are women that actually prefer men who are much older than they are.

Liv.



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Posted on Sat, Jan 19, 2013 18:40

Maybe because American men like to look around for the next "young thing" they can get their hands on.
I am not trying to put anyone down. That's not my thing and I apologize to anyone who might feel offended or singled out.
I would love to have a man in my life to grow "really old" with and I don't believe that I will find that with a much younger man. I much prefer to meet a man who is closer to my age and with whom I will have more in common, rather than to find myself alone again after a few years because my guy has met someone younger.
"Better alone than in bad company." 
Lulu



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Posted on Wed, Jan 16, 2013 10:14

I think OP is a generalisation, not all American women are (hung up on age), albeit majority of white, anglo-saxon proetstants could be... Due to the society's pressure mainly, i think. I am European,  i feel better around older than i men, but that's individual too, just like everything else. 
Oh, and 'age is just a number' only for those of us who have more or less comfortable life, otherwise... reality does bite and does live its nasty marks both on souls and on faces. (Methinks, that is ;))



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Posted on Mon, Jan 07, 2013 20:51

I usually date older - I certainly feel more appreciated.  Younger men are okay, culturally we come from different eras.  I don't like 80s music (a misnomer).  And sex has always been better with the older men not the younger - just my observation.



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Posted on Wed, Jan 02, 2013 20:26

hmmm I have beenthinking about that for a while, in general for me age is not that important, but I do care about those whim I love, and while they may say that its fine with them I know somewhere deep in my heart I dlike them to be happy. Saying that, Id like my mother to feel comfortable because she is older than my guy,  as well  as my brother who is 21 now. So saying that it does surely puts some limits.Iknow this may sound shallow, but i  the end ofthe day  even though that it's me who is going to be with that person, Im as well as most of us humans are social beings....Probably I would not feel comfy dating a guy whose son is olderthan me,. ... oh, well, I never tried may be Imjust crazy....



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Posted on Thu, Dec 27, 2012 21:37

Quoting 4EverLoyal:

Allow me to say this, "gold diggers"do not care how old you are, they will date anyone from 65 to 85. If you a looking to make a life with a respectful woman, most will consider men around there age group. However, there are women who will date an older man because they care about him as a person and not his check book, they are out there, but most are not the super models that older men seek. I guess the correct question is why do successful older men want younger women.
Isn't that the same as being hung up on age; Older male, younger woman.

AMEN 4EVERLOYAL!!!!
RAREROB... As an American woman and as former advertising exec, here's what I viewed on your profile. 
You are a very nice looking and "in shape" man...... for your age. However, you have 32 as your start age. REALLY? Why would a 32 year old woman, in child bearing years, seek a man old enough to be her father? YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR CHILDREN AND 32 (IN MOST CASES) IS TOO YOUNG TO MAKE THAT LIFE TIME COMMITMENT OF NONE OR NO MORE CHILDREN! IF you should find a woman who HAS children at 32, then they are probably YOUNGER children. Do you feel like raising kids at this stage? I thought you wanted to travel? Generally, 32 YO women are either RAISING BABIES.. or have started their career years ago and now want to START HAVING BABIES! ADVERTISE SMART RAREROB! 
IE: I had a date with a man last night.. His ex and he split due to that very reason. He married her when she was 30, he was 44. She said she was okay with no kids and then 8 years later, she changed her mind. I'm sure, at the time of marriage, she "thought" she was okay with no children, but a woman can realistically have children even in early 40's (though risky) and many women think, "I'm okay without," UNTIL THE CLOCK STARTS TICKING! LOL So first off, you should be wiser in your age selection. No one under 40... And seriously, you do look good for your age, but there are a lot of women in their 40's and early 50's who look smashing as well, so don't cut those ladies short. You appear to be seeking "arm-candy" yet you say you want "real" and "genuine" and "love"....
and for what it's worth.... Not all American women are out grabbing that almighty dollar like is portrayed. I find most American women are in an "I can do it myself" mode and are ircking me because I have even met men who said their dates asked them NOT to open the door for them! 
Additonally, American women tend to like taller men. You are 5'7", so this decreases your odds. Couple this with the fact you are Jewish, well, this decreases your odds as it leaves out "most" Christian women. Therefore I would deduce although you "think" it is your age which stands in the way of finding "her," it may actually be a multitude of things.
FINDING A MATCH IS NEVER EASY.. FOR ANY OF US TRULY SEEKING LOVE!!! :(
AGE is rarely "that" big a deal IF children are not of an ISSUE... (Note NGL's friends HAD A CHILD.. Might have ended differently had the man told her no and her clock started tick tocking!) However, RELIGION and PHYSICAL STATURE are way up there. 
You appear to be a genuine man with a great heart seeking the last love of his life RAREROB... And you look INCREDIBLE for your age!! I AM IMPRESSED!! But from an advertising perspective, if you were my client, (and I have told many clients what they did not want to her) Well, I would advise you to change your age range to 40-50.. (that is still far younger than you... and out of "baby making stage" mostly) and understand that being Jewish is a big deal to a devout Christian woman.. (or at least one "trying" to follow the rules.) Additionally, the ONE thing that would set me back if you weren't Jewish? The fact you seek a woman still of child bearing years when you are in your 60's. That is just not sound thinking and a huge turn off for a mature woman seeking a lasting love with a man that won't ask her for the one thing she can't give... A CHILD... Men or women in their 60's even considering children are not being responsible! It isn't healthy for the child. 
The fact you have UNDECIDED for a child shows you are not acting on all cylinders. You are too old and need to face that reality.  
I agree with 4EVERLOYAL... THE DOOR SWINGS BOTH WAYS.. So before you knock younger women for not seeking a 62 year old almost senior citizen who already gets the early bird special.... Look at how YOU yourself, are treating age. 
NOTE:
Men over 50 are 3 times more likely to have offspring with schizophrenia (Columbia University)
Men over 50 are 3 times more likely to have offspring with fused heads and bones (Apert Syndrome) 
Men over 55, more likely to have offspring with Bi-Polar (Sweden)
UK and US studies cite a MANS age (not womans) increases risk of autism in child
Rare birth disorders such as dwarfism increase with a man's age
Miscarriage risks increase by 60% at age of 40!!!! 
These are only a "few" of the additional risks which can occur for MEN having children beyond THEIR child bearing years. 
JMHO



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Posted on Tue, Dec 18, 2012 12:57

Quoting DiamondGirl41:

LOL , great observation ! I'm an American woman,  get mistaken for younger, men my own age seem leery of me as though I'm looking to be kept and keep their wallets. I'll say one thing boy those foreign ladies are smooth operaters. When they marry someone wealthy they are just looking to be taken care of, but us American girls are slapped with the gold digger label, ok can we all say hypocritical .
Furthermore, I confess the young guys who flirt with me catch my eye and curiosity, lol, but I know we may not ever have more than great sex and not be able to really mesh. I have always appreciated men older than me, crushes on high school teachers etc. It's true some men my age are still hotties and I wouldn't push them away and they can even carry a conversation with me and have great sex.
But lets none of us kid ourselves, love can see past age transcend it if you are exceptional, authentic to who and what you are and not seeking approval of a public you don't even know. So if its someone years older or younger than you that you have want or are hunting, lol, lets hope for one thing that you respect and love them forall the right reasons.

@ Diamond,, very well said. A friend of mine Married a woman 1/2 his age. They have a 17 year old son and couldn't be happier. They love, respect and trust each other completely. Thats what makes it work.



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Posted on Thu, Dec 13, 2012 20:05

Allow me to say this, "gold diggers"do not care how old you are, they will date anyone from 65 to 85. If you a looking to make a life with a respectful woman, most will consider men around there age group. However, there are women who will date an older man because they care about him as a person and not his check book, they are out there, but most are not the super models that older men seek. I guess the correct question is why do successful older men want younger women.
Isn't that the same as being hung up on age; Older male, younger woman.



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