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Posted on Sat, Jan 05, 2013 17:19

What Our Government Is

 
     A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed.




 

 In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of crap



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Posted on Fri, Jan 04, 2013 23:13

That's right!!

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Posted on Wed, Dec 26, 2012 17:34

One of my favorites..

The Man In The Glass
by Peter "Dale" Winbrow Sr.

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in you life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you're a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear to the end.
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.



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Posted on Mon, Dec 24, 2012 19:28

I think Linus said this :)

And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them! And they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, “Fear not! For, behold, I bring you tidings o great joy, which shall be to all my people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ, the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.” And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the Heavenly Host praising God, and saying, “Glory to God in the Highest, and on Earth peace, and good will toward men.


That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.



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Posted on Mon, Dec 24, 2012 00:00

FIVE DEADLY TERMS USED BY WOMEN


  • FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut-up.



  • NOTHING: Means something & you need to be worried.



  • GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission, do not do it.



  • WHATEVER: A woman’s way of saying screw you.



  • THAT’S OKAY: She is thinking long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake.



  • BONUS WORD: WOW! This is not a compliment. She’s amazed that one person can be so stupid



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Posted on Fri, Dec 14, 2012 20:43

On faith

" To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible."
 
                                                                                                    Thomas Aquinas



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Posted on Wed, Dec 12, 2012 12:58

Have patience.

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Posted on Mon, Dec 10, 2012 16:06

There comes a time...

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Posted on Sat, Dec 08, 2012 00:00

Every woman wants to hear this.

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Posted on Tue, Dec 04, 2012 18:20

Mmmm hmm :)

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Posted on Sun, Dec 02, 2012 23:06

A bible quote.

1 Timothy 5:13-14 Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.



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Posted on Sat, Dec 01, 2012 12:36

Good tips for all the men out there.

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Posted on Sun, Nov 25, 2012 22:52

This is something that came to mind with the recent negativity stemming from someone on this site.

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Posted on Wed, Nov 14, 2012 14:28

I used to walk into a room and wonder if they will like me. Now I walk into a room and wonder if I will like them.



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Posted on Mon, Sep 10, 2012 14:25

Hilarious

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Posted on Sun, Aug 26, 2012 23:51

I did like Forever Classy's quote, halting activity, halting your personal online activity,etc. is a good thing.

Today's quote that came to mind.

Rejection is God's protection.



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Posted on Tue, Jun 26, 2012 09:44

Wonders never cease! 
 TWO contributors besides myself :) I like it.



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Posted on Mon, Jun 25, 2012 21:28

All things in moderation, including moderation.  Mark Twain and many others.

 

Experience is the best teacher.  Julius Caesar and many others.

 

rmac



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Posted on Mon, Jun 25, 2012 21:09

Quoting EthanAdventurer:

Patient: My problem doctor is that obesity runs in my family.
Doctor: No, your problem is that no one runs in your family.
Saw this today and had a big laugh.
Cheers,
Ethan 

Lol, good joke Ethan and thanks for contributing :)



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Posted on Mon, Jun 25, 2012 16:55

Patient: My problem doctor is that obesity runs in my family.
Doctor: No, your problem is that no one runs in your family.
Saw this today and had a big laugh.
Cheers,
Ethan