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Posted on Fri, Nov 04, 2011 15:09

Jenknee

Happy to share, thank you for those kind words. There isn't any doubt that the absence of my father had an impact. Yes, hurt is one of the many words that could describe my feelings back then. I was able to express to him later in my life my thoughts and feelings.

The most interesting aspect was that I was there for him, in his life helping him until he passed a few years ago. In fact, when he passed after a long battle with a host of medical issues, and because he had no money to speak of, I paid for the entire burial cost. Everyone in the family including my Aunt (Dads sister) said they couldn't help with any of the cost.

I was happy I had the chance to have a heart to heart with him about many things that had been on my mind. I was not angry, upset, hurt, sad or disappointed. You might wonder whether or not I was able to forgive him, at that point. I was at peace there wasn't anything to forgive, he was my father, I loved him. Although to be candid, I don't think he ever forgave himself.

The really sad part was that my youngest brother to this day struggles with a number of issues related to the absence during childhood. He didn't have the opportunity to speak with him when he was here. With Dad now buried he continues to struggle with a host of unresolved issues.

I definitely agree that the grass isn't always greener....However, in many ways I am a better person because of my father. We may not have control of some of the things that happens in life, but we are the captains' of our ship. Our struggle to grow requires, that we overcome certain moral obstacles such as jealousy, envy, conceit, and resentment or else we become imobilized by our inability to understand.

As a combat veteran I've had many responsibilities none greater than the one to those who with whom I served. I am most proud of that service and the fine men and women who have continued that tradition.

There are some who think most soliders are pro war, in my experience the opposite is closer to the truth. Having witnessed firsthand the horrors of war, it should never, ever be chosen except as a last option.

After a number of years in the military, I used my hard earned, G.I Bill to go to school. Evetually I moved back to my hometown where I began a long career as an criminal investigator for a sex crimes unit. While my work has had its rewards, it has been one of the hardest in my life, for more reasons than most would ever know. On that note I'll close until next time. Take care.



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Posted on Thu, Nov 03, 2011 23:56

I'm starting to feel like typing bullet points for my autobiography...or maybe I should start like this ?

   I was born on the wrong side of the tracks. Really it was the wrong side of 8 Mile but tracks sound more intriguing. We were a medium-sized Catholic family of 8. It wasn't till there were 10 to 12 (or more) before you would be considered a big family, those were our neighbors.



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Posted on Thu, Nov 03, 2011 21:15

I was born in Detroit then  we moved out to California, my parents bought a house and just one yr. later we packed up and moved back to Detroit.  We moved only one block away from our old house,  I was only two when we moved back so I am and will always remain a Michigan girl no matter how many years have gone by since I left and returned to California.

I would have to say I am so glad we moved back to Detroit.  All the good and all the bad experienced there helped make me who I am and for the most part I like who I am.  Some people don't realize the difference in people in different states.  I don't mean to sound negative about Californians but in general they are a different bunch than Michiganders are.  I have found some good Californians so it isn't all bad, I take each person as an individual.

I also lived on the same street for about 22 years and yet had some extreme changes occur there.  I could say it was like a little bit of Heaven that turned ( to a degree) into a glimpse of Hell but what would I be without those experences?

I may explain more later.



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Posted on Thu, Nov 03, 2011 20:54

Quoting machevilli:

Hello Jenknee

Just came into the room, wasn't sure what to expect. I have to say it was interesting reading. I do want to thank you for sharing.

I was one of five children I was the middle child, two older and two younger. In looking back I'd say there were many more positives than negatives. Having two older brothers was a great experience, I always looked up to both of them. Of course, having the two brothers meant I was twice as likely to get their hand me downs. However, they were both pretty hard on clothes, which meant that on some ocassions there wasn't much left to hand down.

Having been raised in a single parent home meant there it was a struggle making ends meet. However, in the neighborhood where I grew up this was the norm rather than the exception. In some ways my experience didn't seem all that different from the majority of my friends. It doesn't mean that I had a sheltered life, no not at all. As a youngster I never quite understood why my mother and father weren't together. Especially given the rare times when my dad would come see us on those rare ocassions.

I suppose as children there is the tendency to feel a sense of responsibility for the things that happen in our lives. Of course, we reach a point when the realization that most of what happens is beyond our control. For some the realization is no consolation as the damage to the psyche slowly takes hold. Children are incredibily resilient and will often overcome some very difficult experiences. A quality that serves all of us at some point time.

I hope to continue my story in my next post, perhaps it will act as some sort of cartharis from once forgotten and buried memories. Unitl next time, and I do hope others will find their way here and join this exchange.




Welcome Machevilli and thanks for posting :)  Thanks too for your kind words. It is always interesting to hear someone's story.  We may learn something from a stranger, whether it is good or bad, we can all stand to learn more.  It also helps us to stereotype less and be more compassionate towards others.
 
So you said you grew up without your father in the household. While I am sorry that you may have been hurt because he wasnt there, it may have actually been the best thing for you and you just didn't know.  I only wish my father was NOT in my house!!  You see the grass is not always greener on the other side, just saying.
 
Thanks for sharing and don't hesitate to post more later!



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Posted on Thu, Nov 03, 2011 19:02

Hello Jenknee

Just came into the room, wasn't sure what to expect. I have to say it was interesting reading. I do want to thank you for sharing.

I was one of five children I was the middle child, two older and two younger. In looking back I'd say there were many more positives than negatives. Having two older brothers was a great experience, I always looked up to both of them. Of course, having the two brothers meant I was twice as likely to get their hand me downs. However, they were both pretty hard on clothes, which meant that on some ocassions there wasn't much left to hand down.

Having been raised in a single parent home meant there it was a struggle making ends meet. However, in the neighborhood where I grew up this was the norm rather than the exception. In some ways my experience didn't seem all that different from the majority of my friends. It doesn't mean that I had a sheltered life, no not at all. As a youngster I never quite understood why my mother and father weren't together. Especially given the rare times when my dad would come see us on those rare ocassions.

I suppose as children there is the tendency to feel a sense of responsibility for the things that happen in our lives. Of course, we reach a point when the realization that most of what happens is beyond our control. For some the realization is no consolation as the damage to the psyche slowly takes hold. Children are incredibily resilient and will often overcome some very difficult experiences. A quality that serves all of us at some point time.

I hope to continue my story in my next post, perhaps it will act as some sort of cartharis from once forgotten and buried memories. Unitl next time, and I do hope others will find their way here and join this exchange.



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Posted on Thu, Nov 03, 2011 16:07

I have to say I think profiles with no posted photos rude.  It is disappointing to see profiles with very limited info. on them too.  
 

 I have made quite an effort on this site to let people know what I am about and how I present myself to the public.  It is only fair that you do the same.  

  What on Earth do you expect from anyone as a reply when you may as well be a ghost?  Not interested in playing detective to figure out who you are!  Enough said.



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Posted on Thu, Nov 03, 2011 00:00

As much as I like Rainbows and Butterflies I tend to base myself in reality. In an area where people seem to be walking around in comas and prefer NOT to be aware, my feeling is it is better to be aware.  As one person I may not be able to make much of a difference but if there are others and we stand UNITED in this United States then just maybe we can make at least part of the change we need.
 
  The occupy movement is just starting.  Hopefully they will get more organized and the mainstream media will choose to interview more intelligent people instead of the stoned, flute player that I have seen a few times on the local southern California news.


 I am supporting Ron Paul for president in 2012.  He seems to be the only candidate that cannot be bought and isn't a flipflopper.  He is the real CHANGE we need !! 

P.S. Unfortunitely I am limited on this site , I can't post a link or copy & paste articles. II would use this as my podium if I could.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 28, 2011 12:34

I was the "baby" of my family.
 
 
 People tend to think it means you were spoiled which was the farthest thing from the truth.  It means you grow up the toughest, you are on your own and no one cares about taking pictures either!!

 Mostly anything good that you have gets stolen or broken by your siblings and Hand Me Downs are the norm. Your mom thinks you can walk to school for Kindergarten and not get lost.  Your siblings enjoy scaring you nearly to death, your voice doesn't get heard,etc.,etc.

   I laughed as I typed this so no needs to throw a Pity Party for me :) 



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Posted on Tue, Oct 25, 2011 11:37

Bought my membership for Costco again.  I wish I had someone to split my stuff with!!



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Posted on Mon, Oct 24, 2011 00:01

My miracle baby was born 24 years ago today, sweet Melissa.



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Posted on Sat, Oct 22, 2011 15:21

This thread was not suppose to be The Jenknee Show !  If anyone wants to contribute then please do so  : )

Today's entry:  I found my Fantasy Man !!  The unfortunite part is he will only remain a fantasy : (



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Posted on Sat, Oct 22, 2011 02:06

I can't feign interest in someone I am not interested in. Therefore I can't go to that fantastic, massive party he invited me to tomorrow night :(



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Posted on Fri, Oct 21, 2011 13:14

I was shy as a little kid.

I have learned a lot since then. Two good words to use is SO WHAT if I feel any shyness creeping up.  So what if people don't like you or think something about you that you would rather not have them think. They usually don't have a clue what you're about in the first place. The only being that truly matters what He thinks of me is God.



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Posted on Thu, Oct 20, 2011 12:20

I barely made it out of Detroit alive.



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Posted on Thu, Oct 20, 2011 12:07



Some of my favorites words together are WHY NOT and SO WHAT :)
 



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Posted on Sun, Oct 16, 2011 11:30

You know the saying "Save the best for last"?  Well I was my mom's last kid and I am the best of the lot so it is true. lol.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2011 14:31

You know this concept of telling something worked fantastically in another forum I'm in.  I am not self-centered but I am gonna make the effort to continue this so....
I love checking out all kinds of classic vehicles.   The Rod Run Cruise is tonight , should be fun :)



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Posted on Thu, Oct 13, 2011 11:32

My  advice for relationships got approved and I received a free month's subscription here :)