I wrote this advice article a year or two ago. I think it about sums it up. What do you think?
S-words you need to know !!
Sorting what you want in a relationship can be simple. The following are the S-words that most men are concerned with in no particular order. Each man decides on his own what takes a higher priority. Unfortunitely some men lack interest or have TOO much interest with some of these. Don't expect to change any of it. As women, we have to know what we have and if we can deal with it. If you can deal with it then most likely you will have a successful relationship.
There are a few others...
Seclusion: The Man Cave. Some men just need this to "unwind" alone. Sometimes though they want to invite others of their species to also "unwind". As woman we don't get to have this ourselves but some lucky men do. If he's a happier guy cause he has his space (literally & figuratively) then it may be good for both of you.
Spirituality: This is something that can change with anyone over time but it is important to know where this will fit into your relationship or maybe it won't fit at all !! Do you share the same beliefs? Are you okay with it if he doesn't support your faith? Obviously this can affect your relationship greatly. It may not be something you want to discuss on your first date but I wouldn't wait too long.
Selfish or selfless?: I think a lot of people with think of material goods when the word selfish comes up but if one of you is selfish with your time (other than unwinding) then it really doesn't help the relationship. Unfortunitely I was a Golf Widow. He would spend the best hours of the day playing golf and that was it for the day. I tried to make a deal with him that if he devoted four hours to golfing then he should devote 4 hours of quality time with me. In my experience it didn't work. You need to find out what works for the two of you.
I do have to mention that honesty, trust and communication skills are huge factors in a relationship too. Whether you're starting or maintaining a relationship I hope this advice has helped. Good Luck !!!
I found the key to lure men,lol..Hot Buttered Rum!! I will be making more of it in my future. Of course, hello, the topper is fresh whipped cream. No talk of New Year's resolutions and goals, it is all about the rum in my thermos with 2 cups. Okay..I thought of a goal! What is the best way to transport whipped cream? I will find the way ;)
*I think I already know the answer :) A ketchup container! Or the option would be I could buy a can of whipped cream. Of course it isn't as good as fresh whipped cream but I may give it a try.
Update: My "Lure Men" statement may be misconstrued, that is if you don't know me, and that would mean any readers right now. To set it straight, I only lure one at a time, geez! Wait a second, if I have a girlfriend around, I may lure two,lol.
I did find a can of whipped cream that actually contains real cream! Who would have thunk? So I have it all down to a science now :)
Dear St. Nick, I don't want much this year, I just want the person reading this to be HAPPY. Friends are the fruit cake of life --- some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet, but mix them together and they're my friends. At Christmas you always hear people talking about what they want & bought. This is what I want: I want people who are sick with no cure to be able to be CURED. I want children with no families to be ADOPTED. I want people to NEVER have to worry about food, shelter & heat. I want PEACE and LOVE for EVERYONE!
Since when did Slutty Halloween transfer over to Slutty Christmas? I know I am going to sound extremely conservative (which I'm not) but the idea of dressing up in slutty Christmas costumes and the making the rounds wherever, doesn't suit me (pun intended). Today for instance , it was the Wineries Tour, yes, we must all dress like complete sluts, add alcohol to the mix and viola! Actually some of the costumes were okay where others found yet another excuse to look like sluts. I know a few that act like it too so hey, no hypocrisy there!
I didn't go but saw plenty of pics that were shared on fb, I didn't go for a reason, just like I didn't go to The Rocky Horror event, etc., etc.. Geez, I need a new group of classier friends who like to socialize. I do have some but they are the ones that are doing family events ,etc.
I prefer the "Tacky Christmas Sweater Contest" party or the "We're Santa's Elves" Pub Crawl much better. I was at a particular establishment recently when in walked Santa and his troup of helpers doing a Pub Crawl. Now 2 helpers were particularly cute, dressed like twins but they weren't twins, I loved it!! I'm including a pic. of Santa and his two Helpers that I mentioned. Note:This was a separate
event from the slutty one that was happening today.
Update: The tacky behavior is now beginning to show in the photos of the slutty Christmas winery tour that's happening today. Photos of debauchery along with one holding a sign that says "Zero to naked in 1.2 bottles of wine." And that about sums it up!
My daughter subbed a class of 2nd graders for the first time yesterday. Three of those sweet kids gave her an apple. To think that sweet, innocent children lost their innocence today is so sad. Let alone the devastating loss of losing a child is beyond comprehension. My prayers go out to all those affected today by this tragedy.
It's decided, I'm going to have a party, that's right, me, Jenny is throwing a party :) It has been a long time since I've hosted one but hey, the world may end the next day so if there is any reason to party, it will be that night-December 21st!!
P.S. I absolutely do not believe one iota that the world will end because it's the end of the Mayan calender but it is a great excuse. *We have to go through the Tribulation first, it's 7 years long.
I know what the title is of my thread (yes, it was started by me,long story), anyway the point is I am going to post something about some friends or acquaintances instead. In typing about them, I'm not judging, I am just giving you a glimpse of some of the disfunctional people in southern California.
I call some of these people acquaintances because I do know them but can't call all of them my friends. Some people are just not met to stay your friends for one reason or another. You may be able to tell why from the following. Names may be changed slightly to protect the non-innocent! lol.
Olive: She went out on a date with a new guy. After the date was over she then went to see her F*** Buddy ( yeah, that is what they are called) of FOUR YEARS!! Something is haywire there. I felt sorry for the first guy that night.
Now what was way worse was when this grown, professional woman got in a fight with another female and hit her in the head with a beer bottle! The victim got some deep cuts from that bottle, regardless, it is ridiculous behavior and so wrong. THAT was too hard to deal with so I moved on completely.
Lindy: Before her divorce has occurred, she has already managed to have quite a track record. The upsetting thing is that she has continued to date someone who had at least two violent acts involving her. The first one was he came to her house (after she stopped seeing him)and surprised her and her new guy and beat him up while they were in her bedroom! The second incident was that he punched her beloved car causing some damage to it.
Would you date the guy again after he showed some extreme violent behavior? If she can't think about her own safety, she has 2 sons to think about. I would have shut it off completely. Unbelievable!!
Okay, I'm done typing for the night. Revisiting just two of these people's stories is enough for now.
Today I happened to come across someone's profile (on a different site) and his headline said "A gentleman with an edge". I almost laughed, I had previously met him through a friend of a friend and this guy had no edge. What was he thinking when he typed that? Did he mean that he has the edge of the bar in his chest while he is looking directly ahead at the wall? Cuz that was exactly how he was that night we met.
This is how part of that night went. A few friends and I were at a Spanish Tappas type bar/restaurant where they the band plays salsa/ Greek type music. My friend Renata saw her friend there named George. At one point or another ,we all danced. I don't know how to salsa but it wasn't going to stop me. This is where some of my favorite words come into play- So what and Why not. So what if I can't salsa like the others and why not have fun and dance anyway. I do have to say though I am particular as to what I dance to but if I'm feeling it then I will.
There was a guy at the bar sitting by himself. I felt kinda sorry for him. At the end of the night they have this special dance where you all are in a circle. I gestured to the guy sitting alone and said somethink like " Come on and join us, it's the last dance." He didn't come and just sat there like a bump on a log.
As we left, this guy was walking along with us. It was only then that I found out that he was a friend of George's. He managed to say a few words, even that he was taking salsa dance lessons. I'm sure he's a nice guy but as far as an edge goes, that's ridiculous! Wallflower would have been more correct. He is really not representing himself the way he should be with that headline of his. He could have typed that he was the strong, silent type, there are women who would like that type I'm sure. He did contact me later and no, I did not see him again.
Just one more story of a single lady in the Inland Empire.
I reached a big number today and it absolutely doesn't matter but 502 men on a different singles site think they want to meet me. Lol, well clearly, they weren't really thinking cuz I am pretty sure that at least 75% of them either didn't read my profile or chose to ignore what they read in my profile.
It's a feature where you click yes or no on a photo that shows up. You can read their profile if u click further but most don't bother so again, it really doesn't matter that they've clicked yes, they want to meet me.
First I want to say that I am not wanting any unreasonable qualities in these men. I have heard of some ridiculous standards by women like "He cannot wear flip-flops" standards. My odds are just extremely limited by what I would like in a guy and then hello! There has to be that chemistry that you just don't know if it's there unless you meet.
So one thing that automatically lowers my odds considerably is that he has to be a Christian. I don't know what it is like in other states but where I live in southern California, Christian men are the minority. I am not a Saint by any means but I just need someone who shares the same Christian belief. Don't tell me I'm not open-minded (I hate that),I dated an atheist,etc., so yeah, I do know what I want and what I don't want.
I also don't want someone who may think he has time for a relationship but his reality is far different than what he thinks. The guy who thinks he has time but doesn't, will usually be pretty obvious in his profile that starts with "I have my kids half of the time but I coach their teams and I go to the Gym 5 times a week and then I have my hobby that involves every Sunday and then I.... yeah.
I have not even mentioned the Age Factor. Okay..I just mentioned it,lol. You know who browses for women in their 40's or 50's? Mostly old men who look like they have one foot in the grave, that's who. I hate to say it but I find most old men repulsive, sorry, it's just a fact. The other browsers? I will leave to your imagination, I will just say that it isn't good, most of the time. I will add though that I have put an age ratio on at least one site so the too young ones and the way old ones can't message me.
Today, "Micheal" (who had my phone number somehow) was going through his cell and decided to call me. I didn't know who he was but had a good guess. He will just have to remain a mystery. "Micheal" claimed he didn't know who I was either (I think he did) so he thought it was a great idea that since he was going to Costco, that I should just hop in my vehicle and start driving to meet him there. I said no, I am not going to be meeting him at Costco and in mid-sentence, there was a disconnection. Not sure why we were disconnected but he didn't bother to call back and that was just fine with me. By the way, he conveniently had a blocked ID.
Who do I think he was? I think it was someone I had communicated with online who ended up showing his nasty, true colors so I blocked him. Because it was some time ago, he was hoping I had forgotten and thought if he played dumb, he would get a fresh start.THAT'S who I think" Blocked ID Micheal" is.
So I told you about Micheal, I may as well type a little about another recent phone conversation, my first one with "David", it may have also been my last conversation with him too. Why we are not compatible. The first reason- the guy wakes up at 5:30 AM...because he WANTS to, he doesn't have to at all, but he does it voluntarily!! To top it off, he walks up a mountain in the morning then goes to the gym then later walks up the same mountain (twice a day,yes, twice a day) Lol, okay, if i don't HAVE to wake up early then I will be sleeping!! I do go to the gym but having some Crack of Dawn walk and then it's still super early and I am in the Gym? Not gonna happen,lol. Sometimes Morning People are just irritating. You can leave that "Good Morning" crap to someone else, alright?
P.S. Sometimes I must come across kinda scary. It is just my sense of humor. I will allow a good morning greeting but just don't look too happy while you're saying it ;)
The world may be going to H*** in a handbasket but I bought a new dress yesterday and I am determined to wear it and have a great time in it. I only wish I have a good man by my side at the same time :) We'll see what happens.
I haven't touched too much on current events and our country's precarious position which is being constantly pummeled by Obummer. It is a almost a constant thought though. Because I am aware, I will appreciate the good moments even more.
Today is a Gift, that's why it's called the Present. Try to remember that in your busy lives :)
Thankful? Hmm. Not so sure. I can't be easily be one of those "Be thankful for everything, even the bad experiences." type. I would have rather passed on the bad or hurtful experiences, thank-you. I can say the end result of what you are partially comes from all those life experiences whether they were good or bad. I am definitely thankful for certain things though.
I think that saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." is annoying and only true for some people about some things. What doesn't kill you can break your heart, make you more scared, more anxious, less healthy, more poor, less confident, etc., etc.
During this Thanksgiving and holiday season, please remember to be compassionate towards others.
The following is just one example of something I found on the internet.
It's that time of the year again, Halloween. Here are some costume ideas for all you ladies out there.
Slutty Nurse -
Mini-skirt, short lab coat, stethoscope. Simple and easy, just like you.
Slutty Fireman -
Mini-skirt, red shirt, suspenders, fireman's hat. Red hot.
Slutty Cop -
Mini-skirt, blue shirt, cop hat, billy club. Score a ten with the five-o.
Slutty Teacher -
Mini-skirt, dress shirt, glasses, high heels. Teach them something new.
Slutty Private School Girl -
Mini-skirt, dress shirt, glasses, high socks. Catholicism never looked so good.
Slutty Daisy Duke -
Mini-skirt, plaid shirt, cowboy boots. If only you looked like Jessica Simpson I have never "slutted it up" for Halloween or for any other holiday/event. I have worn various costumes but they weren't skanky looking. I like to have fun but I also like to be respected.
I have a lot of female acquaintences, some are friends. They reveal a lot of themselves on Halloween. I mean not only do they reveal themselves literally but also reveal their character and it isn't good. I'm not judging them but I try to disassociate myself from it to a degree. Like saying no to going to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, basically the audience is Drunk Whores on Display.
Do I sound like a Dud or what? Lol, I'm really not.
I am so used to virtually no one contributing that I quickly go straight to posting box. Today I just saw SunnyCoastSmoke's post in here that she typed in late August! It was good to see :) I wish there was a like button or that Thumbs Up sign on here.
As I stated in my previous post that I decided to not associate with a certain girlfriend anymore for my own well-being. A couple days later I saw her post on Facebook which only reinstated that I made the right decision. She decided to go out with this guy to celebrate his birthday who just a few weeks earlier had some very violent behavior along with cutting her down. Originally, she only was dating him for less than 2 weeks and decided to stop seeing him. In that time, she slept with him and he knew everything about her, where she lives and works,etc.
The nutshell version is this guy came to her house and beat up her current date!! He came over at about 7 AM, someone let him in, he stormed upstairs to her bedroom and started beating up the guy she was with. On a later day, I heard he punched her car and put a dent in it. So when I saw that she went out with him after all he had done, I knew her judgement is whacked. Not only is she putting herself in danger but everyone else surrounding her, especially her children!!
I don't want to talk personally but I can understand why women who are in marriages may stay with abusers but when you choose to have a new relationship with an abuser after you have made a new life for yourself and your kids then something is seriously wrong with you.
Please people, when you are getting to know someone new, be careful and don't rush into anything. No matter what we may think they are, we really don't know them and there are too many ways you could put yourself in dangerous or just hurtful situations.
I saw my ex-neighbor on here, too bad I can't tell any good women the truth about what he really is!!
I dumped a friend which basically for the most part means I lost a group of friends since she hangs with a group. After a year of trying to get some deeper friendships, all I got was a lot of partiers to spend part of my weekends with.
I can only put up with so much for so long. How many times can I go to the same places to drink? With a few exceptions that was basically what it was..drinking. They can no religious beliefs or strong Christian backgrounds. They don't give a shite about politics or current events. Some do care about who they may screw next. Maybe the word "care" is giving them too much credit. They are looking out for who may be next.
Take another Zanex and you can stay in Happy Mode . That is what would be right for my former friend. Or should I just say to have another drink, actually it's both. For me, I want to feel...feel whatever it is without any drug influencing me. I also want to feel accepted for what I am. This can be in many areas.
What I find ridiculous is someone thinking all I should post on Facebook is happy, frivilous sentences.They think I shouldn't post my views, the real news, any emotions other than happy, happy , joy, joy tidbits. I will continue to be who I am, you might like it, if you don't then oh well !! I am not here to please you.
I don't know where my path is leading me but I do know I can't stay where I was.
I am the Queen of Procrastination, in fact i'm doing it right now!!
I did manage to get in touch with my friend for planning Saturday Night. When I'm planning something fun, I don't procrastinate too much. It's the everyday, never ending garbage that I procrastinate about.
Saturday night should be wonderful. I'm going to see my favorite reggae band. Good food, good music, good friends,..only one thing is missing! He is, whoever "HE" may be, still he's missing.
Amazing, i was allowed to copy & paste something! Below is what I posted in a political thread in a different site's forum. There is an update to it that I will mention at the end.
Obama is up to his typical behavior. He refuses other religions but caters to Islam.
Group Proceeds With 2-Hour Islamic ‘Jumah’ Prayers ‘at the DNC’ (And You Won‘t Believe Who’s Invited) Posted on August 27, 2012 at 8:25pm by Erica Ritz
The host committee for the Democratic National Convention is raising a number of eyebrows after choosing to proceed with featuring Islamic “Jumah” prayers for two hours on the Friday before its convention, though Democrats earlier denied a Catholic cardinal’s request to say a prayer at the same event.
Update: The DNC has now decided to allow the Cardinal speak at the closing of the convention. I am sure they decided to allow it because they need to pander to the Christian voters.
Obummer is dangerous, we cannot afford to have him get re-elected (in more ways than one!). He should get impeached!! I do not trust Romney but I consider him, without a doubt, the lesser of two evils. We need a third party to rise up! Ron Paul was robbed of the nomination. The RNC broke it's own rules to make sure that Paul didn't have a chance. The entire voting system needs to get changed.
If I am allowed to, I will post some more political info. at a later date.
Starting with last night.
I dated myself again, I was very good company,lol. I was originally supposed to meet friends for Happy Hour, with either restaurant/bar I would have been happy and the main goal for me was eating a needed and wanted meal. Then we were supposed to see this rock/reggae musician(s) for the first time. I didn't expect to be there for hours but I did expect to spend a decent amount of time there.
Turned out my idea was not their idea and it all changed. I decided since I was starving, I would go for one of my fav. meals in Old Town by myself and I did. My friends were also in Old Town already at a bar down the street. Tthe two roommates decided to eat before they left the house. "Thanks so much for letting me know that you decided to ditch the whole dinner at Happy Hour thing!" I was thinking that, I didn't actually say it.
Dinner was nice but I REALLY hate eating by myself in a restaurant. Then i saw a jewerly store, I did some browsing and really liked a certain necklace (includes matching earrings) which doesn't happen often so I said "Screw it, just buy it. You know if you don't buy it, you are going to regret it." So I did buy it :)
I then met up with my friends, feeling better cuz I ate something good, and happier because I bought a pretty piece of jewerly which I wore walking out the jewerly store.
Eventually I finally talked two friends into walking to the Inn with me to see those musicians, the ONLY reason why I planned the night in the first place. My two friends are a couple who like to dance so they really liked it and they (the musicians) were great!! We stayed till the end of their session.
I was going to get into a whole nother story but this one is long enough as it is. The night ended a little earlier for me which was fine. There was a major DUI checkpoint which I passed right through pretty quick after showing my license. Had it been later, the wait could have been much longer. I am not much of a drinker and never, ever would drive if I was drinking so nothing to worry about on my end. It is the other drivers I have to worry about and having been in 2 major accidents where the drivers of the other vehicles were drunk is something you never forget.
So with this rambling story, what do you get ? Jenny is a great date...to herself. Plans? what plans? I make them, others don't stick to them. Driving drunk? Big No-No, don't even drive buzzed, it isn't worth it. Steve and Jeff? Two cute, talented musicians I will have to see again. Mmmm Hmmm.
Looking forward to listening to a band for the first time tonight. They're a Rock/Reggae local band. Then next week I get to see my favorite reggae band, check them out, The Devastators. Just type their name in ur search bar and you'll find them, based out of San diego I think. They have some good original music and also play some covers.
By the way, my girlfriend did give Strep Throat to that Bo of hers, ha! I knew he would get sick! I had Strep Throat once a long time ago. It was so bad I had a hard time swallowing. I could say something here,lol, nevermind.
Have a fun but safe weekend!
My girlfriend's parents left to go back to their home in New Orleans after staying here in CA. for a whole month. I ended up hanging out with them a few times and they are a wonderful, older couple. They were both widowed and found each other afterwards and got married. They vacation together, and dine and dance together, the way it should be. They may appreciate that they have each other even more since they have both loved and lost.
Always appreciate what time you do get with your loved ones. I lost my mom 16years ago. I would love to have one more day with her. My friend is so blessed that even though she lives far away from her home state, she gets to visit often and she still has several people TO visit. I don't. My favorite saying says it all.
Yesterday is History
Tomorrow is a Mystery
Today is a Gift
That's why it's called The Present
Try to remember this when you are with your loved ones. Tomorrow may not come so don't put off what you can say and do today.
First of all, I start my Monday off nearly disgusted by the display of affection that my grilfriend Cindy just got. She messages on Facebook that she is in Urgent Care, no other info. I am seriously concerned, as we're typing back and forth, it turns out she has Strep Throat, yeah it's uncomfortable and contagious but not the end of the world. Now what makes it not so bad is this new guy is with her, willing to catch Strep Throat to take care of her. I'm sure this is in more ways than one.
I can't even get a decent date on the weekend and I am not contagious yet she gets some hunk to risk getting sick for her on a Monday!! Okay,...sometimes not getting a date would be because I say NO a lot and I don't act needy nor do I flirt to an insane degree. I also expect my date to have at lease some views we share. Okay...I am now getting the differences. I even want a Christian,lol. yes, it is all abundantly clear now as to why.
My dog got spooked again yesterday and was ready to take off under the fence in my backyard with me standing right there!! This has happened 4 or 5 times in the last year or so and it's worrying me. This is a very sweet, loved little dog that I have had for 11 years. She was never like this before. Too much to type but I am thinking about getting a second dog and I'm hoping they will be buddies and it will help her not want to run. My other dog died a few yrs ago and Gizmo would never leave her side during the day. My other dog was better with a few things, the fact that someone left the backyard fence open and she would NOT leave the yard (and Gizmo stayed with her) says a lot. I will miss that dog forever.
I am completely against Biometric ID for humans but because I love my dog so much and she has been lost twice in the last year ,( I was blessed to get her back) I am considering getting her microchipped. It's a very hard decision for me for more than one reason.
Saturday was a nice day for me. It started early with a birthday party/Cajun Feast for a girlfriend. Then we visited a few wineries then a needed nap then out to Old Town. I had some Sangria and visited a few places. I found out about a local, reggae band that I want to go listen to them next weekend.
A few weeks ago I decided to see the only reggae band I know (up until meeting this one on Saturday). They were at this bar in San Diego and I made an event out of it to go see them with friends. It turned out to be one of the best nights of the year, nearly perfect. Of course what was missing was a special guy by my side but it was still a fantastic night.
They had Happy Hour on a weekend night till 10 PM, that is unheard of!! Good food, good drinks, great music and all with friends :)
Saturday should be fantastic, even more so if I win some money :) I'm going to the horse races at the Del Mar Racetrack for the first time. Races, Beer Fest and a live concert, hopefully some quality men? Not too bad?
I'm going to bet a little,.. the win, place or show way, just maybe I'll win, wish me luck!
By the way, I think it's eerie before Dawn and being in what seems like an empty city reminds me of Will Smith's "Legend" or The Omega Man" with Charlton Heston.