Well your situation sucks and it seems that you are in the same situation most of us find ourselves after many years of devotion and trying to have a marriage or relationship. let me give you my short story. I am a successful guy who busted my ass for the welfare and benefit of my family, thought I was doing everything right, working hard, taking care of the kids etc etc etc, anyway find out my wife has an affair with the neighbor , nice huh ? maybe because i wasnt home enough, not enough attention, who knows. in the end it doesnt matter. It is what it is, people change, thats the thing in the modern world. To me, it seems there is no value in for better or worse, it seems its easier to just leave and see whats on the other side, which is not always greener as your ex is finding out how ironic huh? To answer your question, Its hard because we are all built different. As a man, my needs are simple #1 I dont like drama, if there is a problem , fix it, or at least do the steps to fix it. #2 relax, its all good, the man, whoever that is, cant eat us, hahah just a little humor.#3 life is full of ups and downs, ride it, highs and lows, but stay in the coaster or youll find yourself back in line. Thats just a bit of philosophical tidbit. I'm sure he made mistakes as well as you did, just as I did. You can continue to do the what if's, as I did or just move on. There are some great people out there, I havent found one yet and I guess you havent either. but trust me there is. Thers an old joke, it basically goes like this: this guy asks god to grant him a wish, tell me what women want or build me a highway from california to hawaii so I can vacation whenever I want. God replies " do you want A 4 LANE OR A 2 LANE !!! BTW that applies to men too !! once again just alittle humor, its awesome. so heres my other shot at this, I didnt see your profile before, as I dont really look that much, but I work out of orlando and Im there quite a bit. If I would be as bold as to communicate with you, would you like too. I will go on your profile and send you a message, if thats ok, if you got back together with your husband or are dating, good for you.