Do you think that it?s where you are trying to meet these men? I have had several white men tell me that they wanted to date black women but didn?t know where to meet them or how to ask them out. There is also the stereotype issue that keeps some from asking black women out. Although, maybe if you go out and mix and mingle where there will be people of the racial group you are seeking to meet then you will up your chances of meeting someone. I use to go to networking events like crazy and was asked out a lot by mostly white men. I think they were just amazed to see me as the only or one of a very few black women in a different environment then what stereotypes portray us as and realized that I am no different from any other woman.
As a Caucasian man I can say without hesitation that my best relationships, along with being the most beautiful and loving have been with mixed race or black women.
My advise to other Caucasian men is not just pass these women up! You are really really missing some beautiful women.
I read your information and i used to live in Atlanta a few years ago and had purchased a home in Alpharetta, GA near one of the main country clubs. What you say is true to a certain degree. But it is attitude dear.. You could be outgoing , a conversation initiator etc. But if your exterior shows one side and your interior shows something else, a lot of men pick up on that and will not persue anything more than just the general conversation.
Dealing with white men is no different, you just have to slow down with them more, most of the time they want to be aggressive with a sista but have fear of being rejected with the attitude that they have at the back of their mind.
Also, you don't have to go all out and over do it to attract a white man. Just be yourself and the right one will come when you're not looking. I was approached at the supermarket check out line on three different occasions. The people on line were watching me like EF Hutton to see what i was going to say. The white men were very good looking too. But it is how you work your finesse to get one.
Another good place to meet one is at the gym. If you like working out, you won't have a problem finding one there.
Smilesalot2007 write: I have a dear friend (multi-millionaire in Atlanta) who met a beautiful black lady on this site and they are still together after a few years.
I asked her what she thought attracted him to her and her response was the big smile on my picture. And after you met? The personality that matched it.
I asked him the same questions and got the same answers.
So it does happen you just have to (patiently) wait till the right gentleman comes along or try one of the interracial dating sites.
I wish you luck!
That is very good to hear! Because I am actually a well off woman and live in a pretty affluent suburb that is close to the author of this forum.
In the circles that I travel I am usually the only black person and definitely the only black woman.
I am a single mother (her dad is not in her life), and have provided (through God's grace of course)for my 4 1/2 year wonderfully. She's in a private pre-school, takes tap and ballet at a top rated dance school and just had the biggest "half" birthday party that my neighbors have ever seen (literally).
I also think I'm an attractive woman and in addition to being attractive I'm also pretty well versed. Like I stated before I'm at the country club, golf outings, etc. on a regular basis. But I never seem to meet a man that's interested in me. They may look but no one actually approaches me for conversation. I'm outgoing so I don't have a problem initiating conversation, but it never progresses past that.
Now I do believe that white men and other races of men prefer a thinner woman. That is something I'm working on and have been for the past year and a half. I'm not working on this for them but for me and my daughter.
I am glad to hear that there are some men of other races that are interested in African American women. I can tell you one thing, any man that comes my way will not be disappointed in any aspect
OpenArms81 write: I don't want anybody to mistke what im saying. I don't mean only white men , I mean many many different types, colors, and races of men. I am open for any race/color/nationality that comes my way but there seems to me a shortage of men that will give a black woman a chance. Im not looking for anything in particular except to be able to take good care of his family and wife but I won't be 25 for ever
I am of mixed race and I have come to understand that the actions of the few bad african-american women have left a lasting impression on african-american women as a whole. There's nothing that can be done about that, but focusing on meeting some one that's compatible regardless of what race it comes in would take the unnecessary focus off of "Why don't the White men have a preference for black woman" If they don't have african-american listed as a preference, so what! send em a wink anyway :)
I totally understand where OpenArms is coming from - it is not simply the case of putting a more flattering image of ones self on a website and hoping for the best.
- I know lots of beautifully presented black and mixed race women in the real world, and they will always mention this same scenario as a problem they have themselves too.
From my own personal experience - (and I am from and live in the UK), I most often attract successful mediteranian or Arabic men rather than white or mixed race men. To be honest, I never attract mixed race men - which I would so love to (since both my parents are mixed race and my ideal partner would be a mixed race man) - but sadly all the mixed race men in my town prefer white women rather than black or mixed race women. And actually I have found that on approaching an attractive and successful mixed race man they can be more obnoxious than a white man if they don't fancy you.
However, that sadly is mixed race men - as far as white men are concerned , times in the past when white men have been attracted to me - these men have not been my equal at all. They were not educated, well groomed, attractive, or successful. From where I am coming from most white men only date black or mixed race women when the chips are down, i.e. when they are divorced and have had their families - when they have been recovering from a drug problem, illness or similar - or when they have tried out every other single white alternative and failed - not when they are on the up or are successful.
Actually if you think about it this way, its not always the best idea to date these type of men anyway because they are usually disgruntled and may even use you as a punch bag for all that went wrong for them in their lives and may even resent you and being with you!
Therefore my conclusion is - I am here because I cannot find what I am looking for within the vicinity in which I live and I refuse to drop my standards!
I have been single for 3 years now, and will remain that way until I find someone who suits me. The majority of white men that I find attractive are taken - but the ones that remain single are not out of my reach - or anybodies reach for that matter. I think women of colour need to stop placing the value of a man on the colour of his skin - there are lots of black and white trash out there. It does not really matter who finds you attractive , what matters is that the feeling is mutual.
There is nothing worst that being infatuated with a guy or feeling 'honoured to be with a guy because you feel you have won a 'prize' that is ordinarily 'out of your reach'. In all honesty - this guy could treat you like crap and erode your own self esteem whist being with you by always reminding you how grateful that you should be because he is with you. Don't fall for the 'got to have a white man' trap - its almost as bad as the 'got to have a blond trap'.
Just be yourself - be patient - and never (ever) drop your standards!
I have a simpler answer to your question....in order to attract a guy of ANY race U're gonna need to post a different picture. Start by putting on a more flattering outfit.... How about a feminine dress? Then put on a little make-up. Lastly, loose the velor curtains in the background! 1st impressions are vital! Just friendly critique...honestly!
ARredneck write: i dates other woman. yall need tu have south gent who likes all type woman. the south shall rize again and it be back as it was once. stonewall jackson and robert e lee knew this back then.
I am always a bit confused why it seems that black women think white men have this fantasy. While it may be so for some men. The same comment can be made right back at you. For both people it is attraction regardless of race or it IS a fantasy. I do agree with many commets made. Be interesting have confidence and be yourself and you will find a man regardless of race. Most barriers have been broken already.
I'm new to this site and have noticed that many of the white man don't select Black women as one of their preferences. However, I don't think that should stop you if you find a man that interests you. I'm multi-racial; I have not had any problem meeting successful white man. I have found that many of the men that don't originally select women of color are interested in meeting me once I show an interest. Word of caution; some men are just curious what it is like to be with a women of color because they want to fulfill a fantasy or have a preconcieved notion.
The bottom-line has nothing to do with your ethnicity but your personality and what you bring to the relationship. Don't let their preference hold you back...go for it you might be surprised.
Ladies: I don't get the point. I have been on this site for a month. I have received messages from white, hispanic and asian women. Not one from an african american. So, my response is what are you really looking for? Financial security? Emotional stabilty? A tender lover? Forget the race ladies... those men come in all shapes, sizes and COLORS. Find a profile you think you like and pursue. That is what this site is for... safe pursuit. Frank;y, I am a little tired of the complaining when it seems the effort is lacking ( in my humble opinion).
HI! I am Harmonylady2 and I live in Little Rock, Ar but I am NOT a native of Arkansas!
The problem is we tend to look at RACE and NOT at the individual. Just because YOU posted a profile and did NOT get intelligent, educated men of ANY race responding- does NOT indicate its a generic issue. I get more responses from white men than from ANY other racial graoup.
a) there are more of them
b) they find something in my profile that attracts them.
so please DONT take it personal. Look at your profile again and see what's lacking!
There is a big problem on dating sites that discourage white men from approaching black women.... that is fraud scams. As a white man who likes black girls as much as any other, i was shocked to find that so many black girls listed on personals turn out to be scammers [they soon reveal 1 of 3 variant sob stories and the next thing they ask for is cash. This is a big problem, for decent black women because these scammers [often from nigeria] are putting off a lot of white men from approachig black women, because they just don;t want to take that risk.
I admit, there are white women scammers too; the problem here is the ratio, not the 'absolute' numbers. it is another case of the loud minority giving the majority a bad name.
i once read an article interviewing an ex-scammer from nigeria, and they justified their actions by thinking of it as a 'revenge' for the evils carried out by white people during colonial times. This is sad, because the evil white folk who killed so many were again, a loud minority giving the majority a bad name.
I hope these comments are not too heavy for this forum; but i believe this lies at the heart of why this awful thing called 'discrimination' still exists today
I disagree with you, If an attractive ebony woman carrys herself well, knows what she want and can can be sincere I can't speak for other white men, but as for myself, its not the collor of your skin, but whats inside.
I actually have been seeing it a lot different here in the New York area. It has become quite acceptable for a sucessful White man to be with a woman of any color. I have no qualms at all about it. My last gf was black and shebecame very close to my kids, co-workers and friends. Though, I do have to agree with what someone else said. It is not always about the color of the woman but it is about how they look. Don't get me wrong- a woman still beter have a great personality and be intelligent. But she should also care about how she looks as well.
perfectnurse write: WELL TO BE HONEST MEN IN GENERAL WANT WOMEN WHO HAVE A LITTLE PRIDE THEY WANT TO LOOK AT YOU AND KNOW THAT YOU LOVE WHO YOU ARE AND THAT YOU RESPECT YOURSELF RICH WHITE MEN GO TO VERY EXPENSIVE RESTAURANTS AND VACATION RESORTS WHERE YOU ARE LESS LIKELY TO SEE BLACKS EVEN IF THEY LIKE BLACK WOMEN IF THERE PARTNERS DON'T YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT IT. THERE'S ONLY ONE THING MEN LOVE MORE THAN WOMEN AND THAT IS THERE MONEY.
There are always exceptions to what you stated.
Why wait on a guy to pick YOU? If you want him, go after him and learn him. If he doesn't want you, you'll find out soon enough and move on. After all, everyone has a right to choose. No one favors rejection. But, if a man doesn't want me because of the color of my skin...why on earth would I want him? There are far too many beautiful men of all race and colors to worry or become stuck on one type of man. There are also open minded individuals who could care less of what most of society may feel. They'll take happiness in any shade. Those are the ones worth waiting for.
It's not simply about not wanting black women. The media has paitned a picture on what is a prize. Most financially secure men want something to show off-and society tells them that twig barbie is that. They've been fed this for years so that is what they believe...it's preference no matter how it comes about.
I am curvy-definately not slim which typical white men/financially secure don't prefer. So I understand what your saying in that sense. My brothers' preference in a woman was that she was skinny. But it's getting better.
The media is expanding what it considers beautiful; the ethnic look as well as fuller figure women is becoming the hot thing so give it time.
i have had an abundance of white men request a meeting with me. they have no indication on their profiles of interest in black women, yet, i am speaking with them. of corse, i have recently removed my photos due to some site abuse from a couple into swinging. ugh!