If you think you need a prenup, you shouldn't get married in the first place.
...I couldn't have said it better myself.
I recognize that there are some pretty shady characters in this world and people will go to great lengths to swindle, steal and manipulate to acquire their wealth. HOWEVER, I am not one of those people and I do not want to be forced to make that guarantee in writing. If he is that attached to his "things", then he is most likely not the man for me.
I don't want to marry a man who doesn't trust me enough to know that I am not going to marry him and then divorce him and take his "stuff". The man I marry will value the love, honor, support and respect I provide far above the value of his physical possessions.
For those men who require a Pre-Nup...
You can lose material possessions in the blink of an eye for any number of reasons. True love will be there even when the money runs out and a GOOD WOMAN will help you get back on your feet and rebuild that empire.
I am going to be honest and speak for myself and some women I know. We are on here to find a man that is amibitious, strong and willing to do what it takes to succeed. These same men have played the field and are mostly ready to settle down and not play games.
Every woman I know, including myself have had dreams of a man that could take care of her. There is nothing wrong with that as long as she takes care of him in the home.
Being able to take your children to school, stay with them when they are sick, go on vacation, support them in extracurricular activities, fixing dinner on most nights, etc. is a dream come true. Not having to worry about how the bills are going to be paid, if you can work overtime, taking vacation or sick time and being off to do the things that make having a husband and children worth while.
Keeping this in mind, if the couple agrees with this arrangement then fine if not the man needs to respect the fact that she may want to work outside the home. Never the less an agreement should be signed. You can agree til death do us part but because of life you never know what may happen and you should always be prepared for the what if.
Now if I am with a man for 10 to 50 years, stayed at home or worked part time and we decide to break up it wouldn't be right for me to walk away from the relationship to start all over again. It has been done but that doesn't make it right. So when you are looking for a woman find out what she wants out of her life and relationships. Her past should speak for itself.
Everyone on here is not a millionaire and they can lie saying they are. Who is going to verify it? So the name of this site doesn't guarantee that he is financially stable.
I see nothing wrong with signing a prenuptial agreement. The way I look at it if I meet the love of my life its not because of his money its going to be what is inside of him. If he has worked for everything he has why not sign one its not my money. I believe that would make him feel better about our relationship as well. Knowing I'm not with him for the financial gain. He will know I am with him for love. I look at it as non marital property he had it prior to me and god forbids if we don't make it together he will have it after me.
Hmmm, I am learning more about the femmine intuition every day! Man, have I been niave
about you ladies! A pre-nuptial is the only way to go after the first marriage! Especially if no children are involved, and if children arrive, that also can be covered in a pre-nuptial.
yes i would because like many people have said it protects both people and it also makes sure that either party if something were to happen would be safe if a divorce were to proceed. along with financial safety it also protects the kids to make sure they are protected if anything were to happen...
with my first engagement i was goint to sign the prenup but then things went sour and dont want to talk about it but when i did get married i didn't because we didn't have anything but anywayz what im trying to say that if my future husband or someone that i plan to marry came up to me with a prenup i would have no problem signing it becuase its not just protecting them its protecting you to becuase it also helps them know if your marrying for love or money. and either way it should be signed. now im blabbling and so i will quit but thats all i want to say..lol
katiegrlK2B write: I wouldn't. A contract is only as binding as the lawyer, interpreting it to his client's advantage, is skilled. Why don't North American courts strengthen the power of the marriage certificate?
Right now, you can go to a church and swear before God, and sign an agreement in the presence of a clergyman or a civil service clerk ... and if one wants to hightail it away on the other, there is nothing the abandoned one can do about it. Even if the other takes all the property of the marriage with him.
If your business partner did that to you, you could sue his ass-ets so he doesn't even have a pot to pee in when you're through. But marriage and then divorce (or seperation) has ruined millions of people in Canada and the US, yet our courts have never modified the practise to make it more failsafe and less damaging to their citizens.
Oh, ya. The pre-nup.
I wouldn't sign it just on account of my stubbornness. If I say I will love someone for the rest of my days, I MEAN it. If he can't believe me, then what the heck does matrimony mean to him? Why get married at all?
Just my 2 cents.
I love this woman! (non-lesbian sense, guys) But you always tell it like it is and that's just awesome! You're witty, but direct and I see few other women like that these days, although many are gaining that confidence to them now. But by far, you have some of the best, straight forward, most honest posts I have seen and I love hearing what you have to say! Keep it up, girl! :)
thegoodlife421 write: Saw this topic come up on another thread and thought I'd start a new one here.
Seems some women seem hurt and offended by the very suggestion of a prenup. I, on the other hand, think it's a sensible move because it protects BOTH parties.
What do YOU think?
I never did and we ended our relationship just fine and without any distress. But the difference is the reasons we came together. Out of truly loving each other. Even when it didn't work many years later, we still loved each other and would never have hurt the other or our children. I think prenups are critical when it's obvious the man or woman is after only assets. Otherwise, if two people truly love each other, they won't need one. But with as shallow as many are these days, I certainly would be certain before I married, let alone got involved with any man.
Anyone that makes decent money nowadays should. It is ridiculous to not protect yourself and your assets. And frankly if I was marrying a wealthy man I would think less of him if he wasnt wise enough to protect everything he worked so hard to make.
Just about anyone with 6 figures or more stored away would want a prenup. Marriage is not what it used to be. Everyone is much more independent and can leave at the drop of a hat. As well many are marrying for the wrong reason. Their intentions may be good but when it all falls apart they are looking for a big payday.
Most of the people who would not sign a prenup have little financially. Most of the people who would sign a prenup have much. Nuff said.
I hope you didn't take me wrong, I have always maintained that pre-nupts are good for much more than allocating money, but you make an excellent point about confidence. The fact that successful men are often secure may be a case of the chicken and the egg; I think secure men typically succeed. And secure men are normally that way because of positive reinforcement from others who appreciate the choices they make, their work ethic, their moral compass and, sadly to a large degree, their appearance. But, any one of these can lead to a strong sense of security and therefore lead to success. There's nothing sexier than confidence (and nothing less sexy than conceit) because confidence is never given and always earned.
I just want to say in response to BlueEyz2006, that there are more reasons than money to want a successful man. Having dated and been dumped by two who had about the same or less money than me (and I am not rich, but comfortably middle class)and acknowledged that I was a wonderful person and partner, I have discovered that many men who are not so financially successful have self-esteem issues that interfere with their having a good relationship. While I never pushed them to make more money in these relationships, I found that because I had been in a long marriage to a man who did become more financially successful than them, they were intimidated. I, personally, joined this site at the advice of my most recent guitar-playing architect boyfriend who told me to "go find a rich man." It is not the money I am after, but the self-esteem that seems to go with it for a man, that allows him to weather the ups and downs of relationships with a little more ease.
Please don't jump to conclusions. Money really is not everything, even on this site.
Aetios write: "not to be used"...heehe..this is quite exactly what i was talking about..and why i would not sign one...if this is the thought...i would not create a foundation of my intimicy accepting this philosophy...I would make sure that i choose the right partner first...before anything..marying or not.. And i do not agree with someone (sorry i forgot your name) who said that divorce brings the bad side in us...because the bad side was there before..and those who do that did not take care to work on it...before anything, before being in any type of relationship...All this is harder and longer work to do....but in the long run it's the way to find somebody mature, consistent, in every aspect...it's called growing up..and a grown up knows how to love and how to part in a civilized manner if things do not work out..! finally, needing a paper reinforced by the law is a sign of fragility of character...in my opinion... ------------------------------- The name is Solitaire, dear. Anyway...Of course the bad or evil side was always there. Two people can sincerely love eachother and later hate that same person. If you're at the point of divorce, that love is no longer there in it's completion.
The "mature" part comes in when two people can talk about anything, including a prenup. The only way I see it, if you refuse to sign you're after more than the heart.
If someone walks because he/she was asked to sign...do a dance and count your blessings.