I just want to say in response to BlueEyz2006, that there are more reasons than money to want a successful man. Having dated and been dumped by two who had about the same or less money than me (and I am not rich, but comfortably middle class)and acknowledged that I was a wonderful person and partner, I have discovered that many men who are not so financially successful have self-esteem issues that interfere with their having a good relationship. While I never pushed them to make more money in these relationships, I found that because I had been in a long marriage to a man who did become more financially successful than them, they were intimidated. I, personally, joined this site at the advice of my most recent guitar-playing architect boyfriend who told me to "go find a rich man." It is not the money I am after, but the self-esteem that seems to go with it for a man, that allows him to weather the ups and downs of relationships with a little more ease.
Please don't jump to conclusions. Money really is not everything, even on this site.
If you're a woman who's "offended" by a pre-nup, then why don't I (as a man) have the right to be offended by the fact that you're searching for your potential mate on a site called "millionairematch.com"?
Ladies, please be realistic and leave your "I'm offended" nonsense at the door. The fact that you're here on this site basically voids your right to be offended by a pre-nup. You've flat out made it clear that you're in search of a man with money, and as such, the man has every right to question whether or not you want him for HIM, or whether you want him for his bank account.
I'm sorry if the truth hurts, but please don't kill the messenger. Just face the facts and keep in mind that you're on "millionairematch.com" instead of some other match-making web site where income isn't the motivating factor.
In my particular case, I've earned everything I have by working hard for it. And as such, I have no desire to see some gold-digger come along and deceive me into marrying her and then divorce me 6 months later and take half of everything I have, when in reality she's earned none of it and she married me under false pretenses from the start.
Ottawa, buddy, this is "millionaire match" not "Mr. or MALE millionaire match" -- who's to say the men aren't here to meet women with means? You make good points in your posts, but you sound really concerned about women who feign interest to get money -- quality women aren't like that and telling women who are that they're being hypocritical is a waste of time -- there are different and often noble but misconceived reasons people won't sign pre-nupts but rarely is it because they're only after your money and not your love. Most women I know would live in a shack, hand to mouth, day to day if they could be with a man they loved who loved them too. The "golddiggers" aren't asked to sign pre-nupts b/c most men wouldn't marry them
"not to be used"...heehe..this is quite exactly what i was talking about..and why i would not sign one...if this is the thought...i would not create a foundation of my intimicy accepting this philosophy...I would make sure that i choose the right partner first...before anything..marying or not..
And i do not agree with someone (sorry i forgot your name) who said that divorce brings the bad side in us...because the bad side was there before..and those who do that did not take care to work on it...before anything, before being in any type of relationship...All this is harder and longer work to do....but in the long run it's the way to find somebody mature, consistent, in every aspect...it's called growing up..and a grown up knows how to love and how to part in a civilized manner if things do not work out..! finally, needing a paper reinforced by the law is a sign of fragility of character...in my opinion...
I wouldn't. A contract is only as binding as the lawyer, interpreting it to his client's advantage, is skilled. Why don't North American courts strengthen the power of the marriage certificate?
Right now, you can go to a church and swear before God, and sign an agreement in the presence of a clergyman or a civil service clerk ... and if one wants to hightail it away on the other, there is nothing the abandoned one can do about it. Even if the other takes all the property of the marriage with him.
If your business partner did that to you, you could sue his ass-ets so he doesn't even have a pot to pee in when you're through. But marriage and then divorce (or seperation) has ruined millions of people in Canada and the US, yet our courts have never modified the practise to make it more failsafe and less damaging to their citizens.
Oh, ya. The pre-nup.
I wouldn't sign it just on account of my stubbornness. If I say I will love someone for the rest of my days, I MEAN it. If he can't believe me, then what the heck does matrimony mean to him? Why get married at all?
I believe prenup's are realistic. When a couple gets married at that time and only then do they "start" their lives together, I believe anything either party had coming into the marriage should stay theirs, anything that is accounted for during the marriage should be the only things that couples fight over if there is a divorce.
sure, women come on here to find a man to take care of them...well money is not everything and is not the foundation of happiness. nor is it the foundation of love.
It should not matter about how much money you have or do not have, its what you carry with you and who you are that makes you a great partner. If money is involved it certainly helps, but if you love the person for who they are and not for how much money they have, then signing a prenup should be the least of your worries, working on keeping your wonderful friendship and becoming lovers and husband and wife is all that should matter.
Great topic. Despite my intial rejection of them based on the "marriage is forever and two become one" thought (that I still hold dear)I've written a number of prenuptial agreements for clients and they are incredibly helpful both to the relationship and in the sad case if it doesn't go well. Prenuptial agreements do not only deal with property division or financial matters but those that do protect as many women as they do men. A prenuptial can actually say to your spouse, "I love you so much I don't want money to come between us under any circumstance." Also, in the event of a separation, the way to deal with it has been mapped out when cooler heads prevailed. They're very helpful with child custody matters, inheritances, personal items that are important to one spouse, and they can include provisions for marital counseling or independent people helping in the event of a dispute. Marriage is a contract as much as anything else, prenuptials are merely contracts that help in the event of a breach.
I might be very puritanist, and/ or of different background, this topic makes me think, especially in nowdays where everything is based on economic situations...Some thoughts: is a written word more powerful to insure a loving relationship; aren't words given more powerful than written legal agreement, as to elevate us as adults and not kids, fighting if some things do not work out. In one case, this written legal agreement seems like if I would get protection against my beloved...in a paranoiac sens...this is what bothers me here!..I have the tendency to give value more to the word given verbally than to a piece of paper; and, if we can not keep this verbal promise, then we should be enough ethical in our intimate relationship to part, as civilized adults, not kids fighitng and devouring each others...Too often with all the divorces nowdays, i noticed people getting mentally disturbed and fighting like animals to hurt each other, this is taking advantage with the benefice of the law of our immaturity..and isee a little perversion here...I know what i say might be very difficult to follow...i just fantasize to take the risk of my words and believe my beloved words of a great relationship.
Wealthy people are in a delicate situation involved in the risk of meeting people who have various consumption addictions...till some get ruined...But did we not create this exagerating consumption society?...Mixing mercantilism to a fragile situation like intimicy...goes in the same basket for me...hm!...Maybe i'm too naive...but it's my 2 cents...!!!
I would not have a problem signing a prenup because I really hope to always be with the man I marry and I am not a bad person or the type of person that it would hurt because I wouldnt do anything to jeopardize my marriage. Also I would make sure that there was something in it that protects me as well in case he turns out to be an asshole :)
I agree with other posters about signing a prenup. I would. However, the only difference would be the terms.
both of us would have to have a mutually agreed clause of sorts that will allow consequences for
any proven infidelity or abuse.
What is so bad about ending it with some money? I think it would be a hard thing to discuss, obviously, but I don't think I would sign one. I wouldn't care if all I got was $10,000. That would be enough for me. Even $5,000. But no less.
In my opinion it would also depend how things are agreed and settled, because just as a girl could be after a guys money the guy might be looking for a trophy wife for a wile or something, if the person I loved asked me to sign it as the eventuality of us falling out of love, or any other problem with honesty and love yes, but if his assuming I want his money then well, weddings off, cause if he assumes that before the wedding he doesn't trust me enough to marry me, and I need someone that trusts me!
As for a prenuptial. For some it is necessary because of the history of marriage and we still cannot 'read hearts'. Maybe a prenupt with a time frame. For some that would be a security measure. But me personally...only one divorce under my belt and I wanted NOTHING that was his. I have my own and I don't really need anyone elses. So, that being said...if he felt better about it...so be it..but it will work both ways...that's for sure.
I think I would sign a prenupt if it was like she discribed above. A timed prenupt, maybe one where the prenupt only takes affect after we've been married awhile.
What was his before is his and what is"ours ' from the time we cohabitate and live as man and wife marriage is ours..
It makes sense second marriages which many of us would be going into have a less success rate stastically speaking then that of first marriages and third marriages even less.
So I would sign one and have an attorney look it over and also many men just want what is earned from point of marriage to be protected especially if they have children from a previous marriage...When you fall out of love you will be glad you had one because it does protect both parties if written well.
It makes sense..sorry this is how it has to be,,
Yes, but with stips. What was yours before the marriage is yours after but what we build together is ours.I am not the type of woman who would be happy just sitting around the house sipping on drinks everyday I need something to do, weather it's helping you run your $1,000,000.00 company or starting my own.If you are worth $2,000,000.00 when I married you and $10,000,000.00 after am I not entitled to something??? And on the flip side of that what if I started my own company from the money you given me when we were married and now my company is worth far more then yours aren't you the man entitled to half?Or NOT. If my love and support helped in you building your company and your funds helped in me building my company are we not entitled to half of the profits we build while we were together?? And even if I had not worked a day in my life was not my love, and support worth something?? Now don't get me wrong I am not saying anyone should get half but there are alot of factors to look in to at the end of a marriage that is not as cut and dry as a prenuptual.
As a lawyer , I think prenups are essential in anticipating the sort of problems that will plague all marriages which no one in love would be in the mood to do. But if couples before marriage sit down logically to address all these issues and the responsibilities and the rights encumbent on each party to the union , then there will be less issues and less grounds for the marriage to break up in future.
If in fact in the process of discussion on the terms of a prenup, both parties begin to have doubts about each other or are unhappy about it, certainly it would be the very issues that will surface later to erode that union if not addressed earlier and if both can't come to any solution then it would be less painful not to proceed with the marriage.
The prenup could be the acid test to your love and the sensitive aspect that binds or breaks the proposed union.
To be honest, I really don't care one way or the other. If it made the other person feel better, I'd be happy to sign one. I don't want them or their friends or family worried that I am after their money. What they have they have worked for, not me. If I love them, I love them and money can not buy that from me.