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Do all men want thin,, athletic, women, cause BBWs are beautiful too!
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Posted on Mon, Dec 12, 2005 11:30

Eve,

Thank you so much for your comments. It was nice to hear from a fellow BBW. I have decided that while I will not push for anything to happen, I will continue to stay on this site and whatever happens will happen when it is supposed to happen and not a second before. I am also working on my weight but only because I want to for my health. If a guy doesn't like me because I am not a size 2, he wasn't worth my time in the first place!!

Again, thank you and I hope you will continue to post in this forum.

Cathlyn



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Posted on Tue, Dec 06, 2005 18:17

Okay, I'll let you know, but you're going to hate it.

Men want a woman who takes care of herself. Who has at least some measure of outer beauty to complement what's inside.

I'm not saying you need to drop your weight down to 100 pounds and get implants, but you do probably need to tighten up, lose the glasses (or get a flattering pair), and start taking some small amount of pride in your physical appearance.

I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but you asked for the truth, and so I'm giving it to you.

I wish you the best of luck.



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Posted on Tue, Dec 06, 2005 05:22

Cathlyn,
Honey, you are definitely a BBW. I realize most people think of the term as being physically beautiful. I have no idea what you look like outwardly, but you sound like a very beautiful person inwardly. I know it's not much comfort to tell you that "personality is the most important thing" but I am convinced it is true. I have dated handsome, sexy men, and those that are not so handsome, let alone sexy. The handsome men were always the cheaters. They are not very attractive on the inside. Not saying all beautiful people are bad, just pointing out my personal experience. You're time will come, just like everyone else that're one this website. All of us are looking for someone, too!
~ Eva



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Posted on Tue, Dec 06, 2005 05:15

I have to say it has been interesting reading some of these comments. It just goes to show that everyone has his or her own opinions, likes and dislikes, preferences. I, too, am a BBW. Yeah, sure, I would like to be thinner, but it has nothing to do with being more accepted (for lack of a beter word). I want to be healthy. But ladies, it's time to stop whining about the discriminations you/we/I have lived through. Everyone has to live through some of them sometime in their life. I am sure thin ladies have thier own issues. Harrassment for one. Not being taken seriously in the workplace. The assumption of "all beauty, no brains." That sort of thing. Enough of that. So, diet world, here I come! Yay. ;-)Okay, here I am ... new to this whole online thing. I am not sure about becoming a member though. I think I mostly was just curious, you know. You see these "self-proclaimed gold-diggers" on Dr. and he talks about what great men millioniares are, but that women like that are contacting them for the wrong reasons, blah, blah, blah. I guess I decided that I wanted to be one that was there for the right reasons. I want to be taken care of for once. I am not normally the one for the old-school ideas of a man "bring home the bacon," but I am sick of being the ONLY money-maker in the house. I work. I will always work, and I try to live within my means. I would like to be able to give my daughter (and future kids, I'm not done having them yet) the best. I think any good parent would feel that way. I want to fall in love and have a house, two car garage, barbeques on Sundays with the neighbors. That sort of thing. Who knows... maybe someday.



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Posted on Wed, Nov 23, 2005 12:39

Cathlyn write:
Thank you, Robtest. If you read my profile, you will see that until recently, I have spent more time worrying about my family and being there for them than I was taking care of myself. I have now found that I am too unhappy to be there for anyone and it is time for me to be there for me. In fact, I have started exercising recently and although I have not lost any weight yet, I am hopeful that this will happen soon.

Maybe I should hold off on dating until I get myself to where I want to be.

Any suggestions??

Cathlyn


I would hold off until I begin to feel better about myself. Body language shows through louder than actual words for some people. If you have already started down the road, you have gotten a taste of the difficulty. Results sometimes seem very small, but you have to keep on keeping on. And one thing that I found helpful was a "fat caliper" rather than a scale for measuring results. They cost about $15-20 in the healthfood stores. I like this because, as you loose fat and replace it with muscle, you will see no weight change or a negative weight change. Muscle is denser and weighs more than fat. So if you are going from the scale alone, it can be discouraging even though you are getting very positive results. Every ounce of muscle that you can add will burn more calories. Even when you sleep, your muscles are burning "some" calories.

You might want to consider trying weight watchers or another support group. I like support groups as it is like minded people with similar goals. Friends that aren't dieting don't understand, don't want to hear it, nor should they have to. I found this especially true in my divorce recovery. No one unless they absolutely have tried every other means and have no other choice should have to learn the ins and outs of divorce. In my divorce recovery workshop at a local church, I found many people that had all "been there/done that"... Of course, the danger there is the people that want to linger,and not move on. I solo'd my weight loss, so I cannot speak to the attitudes of those in a weight loss support group.

But keep your chin up as it makes you more aerodynamic when you run/walk :o) & Always remember The Rainbow Principle: "Into every rain, a little sunshine must fall"...

Namaste!



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Posted on Wed, Nov 23, 2005 11:07

Thank you, Robtest. If you read my profile, you will see that until recently, I have spent more time worrying about my family and being there for them than I was taking care of myself. I have now found that I am too unhappy to be there for anyone and it is time for me to be there for me. In fact, I have started exercising recently and although I have not lost any weight yet, I am hopeful that this will happen soon.

Maybe I should hold off on dating until I get myself to where I want to be.

Any suggestions??

Cathlyn



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Posted on Wed, Nov 23, 2005 08:48

Cathlyn write:
I am not sure if I count as a BBW but I am 5'2" and 160 pounds (and I wear glasses - can you believe it!?). I am also college educated, have been working in the same field for nearly 15 years and am very, very good at my job. I have a great family but not one of my own (never married, no kids). I have a wicked sense of humour and have tried karaoke, softball, bowling and even horseshoes. But the one time that I tried to connect with someone here, I e-mailed him my picture. Guess what? I never heard from the guy again!! Now, I am getting winks and e-mail messages from other guys wanting to see my picture but I am afraid to post it. I am a 34 year old virgin and am beginning to believe that I will die that way (only older, I hope). If men are NOT primarily concerned with looks and they don't appear to be interested in a woman's personality, strong morals, family values or any other strength she has, what are they interested in?

Please, if anyone has an answer for me, let me know. My self-esteem is taking a serious beating and I am not sure how much more I can take before I say "to hell with it, I'd rather be alone".

Cathlyn


Excess weight and self esteem issues seem to go hand in hand. The saying about being fat and jolly only works for Santa. I know when I was 45# heavier, I thought I was the same person on the inside, but I really wasn't and my self esteem suffered because of it.

I am not saying this will work for everyone, but it did for me. I decided that rather than beating myself up mentally and emotionally, it was time to beat myself up physically instead. Now all you S&M people stand down, it is not like that. Heavy diet and exercise was as "mean" as I wanted to get with it. Was it easy? No, it plain SUCKED. I cut back on food, and upped my exercise. I was hungry all the time, tired, and sore achy muscles. Exercise is plain boring to the mind numbing nth degree. But I held the course, and it took me working very deliberately for about 2 years, but I lost the weight and I am keeping it off...



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Posted on Tue, Nov 22, 2005 15:05

I am not sure if I count as a BBW but I am 5'2" and 160 pounds (and I wear glasses - can you believe it!?). I am also college educated, have been working in the same field for nearly 15 years and am very, very good at my job. I have a great family but not one of my own (never married, no kids). I have a wicked sense of humour and have tried karaoke, softball, bowling and even horseshoes. But the one time that I tried to connect with someone here, I e-mailed him my picture. Guess what? I never heard from the guy again!! Now, I am getting winks and e-mail messages from other guys wanting to see my picture but I am afraid to post it. I am a 34 year old virgin and am beginning to believe that I will die that way (only older, I hope). If men are NOT primarily concerned with looks and they don't appear to be interested in a woman's personality, strong morals, family values or any other strength she has, what are they interested in?

Please, if anyone has an answer for me, let me know. My self-esteem is taking a serious beating and I am not sure how much more I can take before I say "to hell with it, I'd rather be alone".

Cathlyn



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Posted on Sun, Nov 20, 2005 02:51

I do think size matters a little. But, in general sexiness is a state of mind and it borders arrogant and obnoxious. I've seen some of the most physically attractive women who didn't have a hint of sex appeal to me. sur, they were fun to look at but they were just missing that "quality". While, on the other hand I've seen some BBW who absolutelyhad that appeal that just made you gasp when you looked at them and something inside you wanted to be with them.

It's all in the mind.



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Posted on Thu, Nov 17, 2005 03:33

Anita!
Come Get Me...Where you been All My Life....I
d Fly there for you!! Lets go do the Tower Of Hell.....Lol!1 I promise I wil hold and cuddle you all the way round!!
xXXXx

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Posted on Fri, Nov 11, 2005 09:10

LanaG write:

And BTW yes I do realize I am married and I have a Prince Charming at home but he is not the issue, I just wanna be someone's Mistress/Toy/travel companion/etc ya know. I like being naughty, so C'mon rich Fellas I am fun too!


Sounds like an abandonment issues. Not sure who is abandoning who here. Also sounds like very poor communication, but then again I guess sex toy's are often known to buzz and vibrate, but don't accept the responsibility of true communication above sighs and moans...

A song jumps to mind that you might want to consider, since you are married BTW. Goo gle lyric search for "Rupert Holmes Escape(The Pina Colada Song)...

So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, "Oh,,, it's you."
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew."



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Posted on Fri, Nov 04, 2005 10:13

LanaG write:
And BTW yes I do realize I am married and I have a Prince Charming at home but he is not the issue, I just wanna be someone's Mistress/Toy/travel companion/etc ya know. I like being naughty, so C'mon rich Fellas I am fun too!


Sorry, but you are kinda creepy!



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Posted on Fri, Nov 04, 2005 00:06

As I have learned through the years attraction like most everything in your life has many aspects. Some of them you control and others you do not. So, focus on what you can! You can do your hair, put on lipstick, dress nicely but it is all about how you wear it. If the attitude, self esteem and confidence (if you struggle in believing these things about yourself then... think it, speak it and in time you will then begin to believe it) is not there then it all is lost. When you have these you wear a sexy smile, your body speaks and men pay attention. If you are intelligent and positive all the better.

Brains and beauty, sexy and sassy who could ask for more!?!

Best wishes!

-K



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Posted on Sat, Sep 24, 2005 22:32


LanaG write:
. And BTW yes I do realize I am married and I have a Prince Charming at home but he is not the issue, I just wanna be someone's Mistress/Toy/travel companion/etc u know. I like being naughty, so C'mon rich Fellas I am fun too!

ok Lana u come in here like its the show the Swan-- we give u beauty tips and bam u fix your hair ,show some cleavage and suddenly its time to cheat on hubby?? whats with that?? how bout he cheats on you with a young thin hottie -- we have created a monster .. go mess your hair again and dont cheat on hubby



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Posted on Sat, Sep 24, 2005 14:32

Rachel Darlin not all men have fantasies of being with thinner woman. I recently met a man thats is married to a model, and he said that he gets sick of looking at a woman that is thin enough you could use her for dental floss. And not only did he say that but three other men that were with him said the same thing (they were all wealthy). I don't know but I am happy with me, and if I never find him, the one guy that I am looking for, I will still be happy cause i am alive and I can breathe, and I am able to walk, and move on my own. So as for all these men that only want thin as air women....more power to you, if you find that one woman that can sit with you and carry an intelligent conversation, and have her own mind at the same time, Cause to tell you the truth those women that are thin as rails, I have noticed don't have that ability to have their own mind and their own opinions cause they are too busy letting men and the rest of the world tell them what beautiful is (being thin as paper). And to those women that find your dream guy that has the money that you looking for....more power to you too, cause it's you that makes these girls feel like they have to be thin to be wanted.......So on that note I will go now, Have a great day and have a great life too!!!

  


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Posted on Fri, Sep 23, 2005 18:21

Hey ((Lang))
I'm one of them BBW and I use to think men always wanted thin. Then a couple yrs ago things kind of changed, and I found its not so much the looks but my attitude to life. I love LIFE , I have fun weather others are or not. I get guys come up to me and tell me how they love my smile, younger and older.
Mind you the young one make me feel good about myself LOL. So I find that looks na, its your "OUT-LOOK" on life that ppl see.



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Posted on Thu, Sep 22, 2005 23:24

Anita,Loved your profile.Interested in talking? Gary fun4gds at a o l

PS My profile is fun4gds



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Posted on Sun, Sep 18, 2005 17:13

Do you know what that does to a girl when she speaks to someone like I do. and they ignore me, That makes me want to go and have plastic surgery just to look the way they expect us to look. But you know what keeps me from doing just that? The fact that I love myself and I love the way god create me to appear. I have gotten to where I just tell everyone that replies my emails with "you're not my type" "good cause you're probably not my type either, cause I dang sure don't want someone to be ashamed to be seen with me in public" then I tell them to have a great day and a great life.

  


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Posted on Sun, Sep 18, 2005 17:07

The rich guys don't want to even see if their is a mutual attraction, because most of them can't get past the appearance thing



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Posted on Sun, Sep 18, 2005 17:06

Yeah I get that Anita. My point is that Most men may they be rich, poor, or just in between, All seem to think that their perfect Mistress/Toy/Playmate/LadyFriend, has to be Thin and beautiful. What does a BBW or full figure woman like me have to do to get noticed in a good way by these so called men? Anita sweetheart you are so beautiful. I wish I looked like you, cause then when I look at myself I couldn't say "well it's because it's the way I look why no one will even so much as say hi to me when I speak to them"
It's like they don't even want to get to know any of us bigger women, or like they are afraid to be seen with us bigger chicks in public. Hello we know how to act in public too. We are beautiful too damn it, All I want from anyone of these so called rich fellas is to be able to say hi to one of them and they say hi back. I am not asking for their DNA structure.

  


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