We may single because they/men are looking for a second mother - maybe he is still living at home with his parents. maybe his casual drinking is more than casual and just looking for a new drinking buddy - likes her independent ways when first meet but then he become insecure because of her independence - maybe still stuck in his immature ways thinking he can play as he did in his 20's - maybe he may lack maturity and confidence choosing to be with younger ladies old enough to be their daughters - maybe once comfortable in relationship they become couch potatoes - maybe once they reach thei age of approx 50 they want to relive their teen years or try to hold on to youth by behaving as such - chivalry has been completly thrown out the door by men that or their parents have never taught them anything about it - some men out their are just cons... - I can go on with many more reasons why beautiful women on the inside and out are single.
I don't believe this was a trick question becaues my man was all those things to me and I was all those things to him. I am the diamond in the rough and if I am ever lucky to men a real man again he will feel like a king.
Nothing wrong at all with expectations. I have them. If I didn't I would have been married to the first women I met a long time ago. Actually one expectation was time. I wanted to wait to marry so I could give quality time to my kids as they grew up. After they both finished HS then I was serious. But most of the Ladies I met wanted to get married.
Like I mentioned before have your expections just don't let him know what they are. Some women want the guy to know asap. Why? So you can scare him off or screen him out. You should have already screened him before you said yes to that first date. From that point on you are showing him you are interested in knowing him deeper and deeper. If you want kids and he doesn't why go out with him? For a free meal? Hey some do that. I've experienced it. Like I said I avoid women who hold a sign with their expectations of men so everyone can see. That is a red flag to any guy. Watchout she is telling you she is critical and judgemental. And much of the expectations women have are doing just that. What guy wants a women who makes him feel devalued or even emasculates him so she can gain power in the relationship.
Ladies, Men want to fell VALUED from day one. We love to get stroked daily with affirmations. It's just the way WE are wired. We want to know we are the leader, the goto guy, the fixer, problem solver. The man in the relationship that wears the pants. We want appreciation, acknowledgement, support and encouragement from our ladies. If we get these things you will not be single long cause there are very few of you that can offer these qualites in the way that will assure we do not stray, withdraw, get into porn, work overtime or want to hang with our buddies all the time. We will want to be with you cause we will want more of what you can give. TO ME that is truly beatiful woman.
Again beautiful women can be any woman who sees herself as beautiful in anyway. I know it was a trick question. It's how she treats her man that keeps her single or married.
Well, I am now 46 and single again after 27 years of devoted marrage and never ever being with another man in my life I find myself here looking for love. I can only speak for myself and I will say I do have standards but I don't think they are high. I am 5'7" and I prefer a man at least 5'11" and taller because when I wear heals anyone under that height is shorter then me. This may sound foolish but it's my standard. I don't like when I chat with a man and he starts right into the sex talk this is a turn off for me since I have only had relations with one man and if I ever meet that next special man I will be ready without being degraded. I would also like a man that has a "JOB" yes guys a job. I have been on a few dates where it turned out the man lied and didn't have a job and only wanted to attach himself to me for financial security. My age restriction is between 47 and 60 because age to me is not a big deal but he has to be at least my age or older I am not interested in being anyone's sugar momma.
So now you have it my high standards now you tell me am I being unrealistic?
I have to agree a little with the standards that some set. Some women try and compare a man to his father and you can't do that. No one is perfect and you can never find a man like your father because that is your father not you man. Maybe some women just take the time out to get to know the person inside and out then maybe they would not be single.
As a single AMERICAN woman, I find these two comments to be generalizations, and rather unfair to the majority of American women. I know there are those kinds of selfish women out there who are extremely spoiled and full of themselves....but most women of any nationality are not like this.
I am sure that compared to other nationalites, what women in the US seem to look for is much different, but there are variety of reasons behind each women's decision in a mate/man.
I am single because I have chosen to this point to be so, mainly because I have not found a man who treats me respectfully, someone that loves me as I love them, and doesn't expect me to be his everything, aka, his mother, laundress, cook, etc.. I don't want a man I can boss around and I am far from spoiled, I just don't want to settle for someone that I know isn't right for me.
I won't dare speak for most women, but I will say this: I am having a problem finding a decent, comfortable in his own skin guy. It is not that my expectations are too high, it is simply that I am mature enough to decide what is good/or not good enough for me.
You might ask what does "good enough" means to me, well, it actually is a mix of basic qualities in a man which have become rarer and more pecious then time itself :). Gentelness and strength, kindness, courage, vertical spine, wisdom, sense of humor, a deep seeded sense of fairness, light hearted yet a deep thinker, unafraid of age, definately not a "show off", treating people with dignity...
Somehow it seems that the more attractive a woman is the more she attracts "show offs", men that confuse loving a woman with owning a woman.
I see beautiful women who are married, and others who are single. I see dysfunctional women (and men) who are married, and dysfunctional women who are single. Just because you are not married does not automatically mean that your expectations are too high. The choice to get married is a serious one...and most people don't take it seriously enough. We have to stop using marriage as a "barometer" for normalcy. Life and s*&t happens...and it is usually not about "deserve" and often has nothing to do with good or bad choices (I am not saying that there are no consequences to bad actions, but bad things happen to good people and vice versa). I have good friends who are single men and women. And in some cases they just have not met the right person. Once you get to your 30's and above, if your life is like mine, you go to work and do your routine...and truthfully virtually never meet eligible single people...it's difficult...which is why we are here to begin with. And just because a woman is beautiful and single is no reason to avoid them...doesn't mean something is wrong with them. If they have high expectations does that mean they are "too high"...or just that they are not willing to "settle". How many miserable married people do you know? I know quite a few. And I would rather remain single the rest of my life than settle. The truth is that some people would rather be with somebody (almost anybody) than alone. But this is not me...and I suspect many people on this site would agree.
It may be your looking only within a specific range and for a specific type, hence the reason you keep running into the same 'type' of woman with these same type of expectations. A 25 year old woman is quite different than a 45 year old woman...20 years of life experience...and 45 yrs very different than 55 yrs. Bottom line we tend to attract what we ourselves are within, so if you are having 'difficulty' in what you are attracting or attracted to...looking inward will help. Relationships only reflect who we already are, nothing more/less.
OP, I fall smack dab in the middle of your description of the single woman. At 47, after a 25+ year marriage, I'm back in the dating world. I'm educated, intelligent, attractive, and (even my ex husband would agree) I am described by those who know me as generous, kind, and sweet. I have no interest in changing anyone other than myself -- and that's a lifelong personal growth journey. (I'm usually rather humble as well, but these posts require a higher level of directness to get a point across, regardless of how uncomfortable I feel giving the description.) I just joined this site to see if I can find a man who is charismatic, intelligent, and emotionally mature. Those 3 characteristics are tough to find, in my experience (which is thus far rather limited). I'm a traditionalist, a woman who believes in the masculinity of a man and thrives on it -- I'd never want to step on it! It goes quite nicely with the femininity of a woman who enjoys being a woman (as I do). So why am I still single? I just haven't met "the one" yet. I don't have a check list, nor do I worry much about appearance (his, I mean; chemistry comes in all shapes and sizes), but when I've gone on 2 or 3 dates with someone and there's no chemistry whatsoever, there's no reason to keep wasting the man's money on dinners and drinks. It's best to be honest and move on. If there's chemistry and compatibility, I'm ready to commit to seeing if one evening turns into a month then a year, and so on.
Similar question goes to man who attractive.
I want to know why attractive man who knows how to take good care of themself are so picky even with the beautiful woman ? Why most of those man woman desire don't want commitment and marriage unless they face a day and realise that they are old and unattractive now and even with the money they can not buy what they want TO MAKE YOUNG BEAUTIFULL WOMAN TRULY LOVE HIM.
Ok Im open to all opinions. I want to know why ladies who are mainly 25 to 45 who consider themselves beautiful either inside or outside, are still single and can't seem to find a guy to settle down with. Many are looking here and other personals sites. From my dating experience they seem to have higher than average expectations for men. Men on the other hand, such as myself tend to avoid these women once they are figured out. I want to know from both sexes what you think these expectations are and why women dont want to accept the character of guys that are attracted to them?
i dont have expectations that are too high & i am quite single. i realize that most millionaires are 50+, look 70, are 5'4(but say they are 5'7 on their profiles)& are out of shape but expect me to stay 100 lbs for the rest of my life.
i get that & i am fine with that
still looking,still waiting, still hopeful,still single.
Well I was married for 30 years and I was very happy and had 4 beautiful children, I consider myself a beautiful, confident and smart women...however one day I came home and found my husband with a 22 year old tart....I asked him why and his response was I wanted to know what it was like to be someone else....but I was finished....so some of us on here havent been single all our life.....we have a lot of love to give and love being a partner and best friend and come on we are lonely to....who doesnt want to wake up to someone they love....so dont presume that we are all difficult to please women looking for the perfect man.....I would be happy with someone who respected me with honesty and passion....when I am ready to go out and when I wake up in the morning for me that is love.....remember this is my opinion and not what you may think.....so just always remember one thing to smile.....
I think everybody has a different experience so in essence will have a different answer Some indeed will have high expectations but this is true to some men also but more are realistic in what they want. Personally from my own experience I have often got into conversation with blue color workers and everything seemed to be ok until we discussed education, careers etc then you felt the whole atmosphere changing. It never bothered me and my interest was still the same but others had a problem because there was a difference on this issue. I think the role of women and men in society today has changed and some men find this an issue, men were traditionally the main bread winner but in todays world a woman could be and some men are still trying to cope with this very existence.
As I mentioned at the start there is no universal answer to this question and everybody will have different reasons.