Ok Im open to all opinions. I want to know why ladies who are mainly 25 to 45 and are above average in the looks dept., are still single and can't seem to find a guy to settle down with. Many are looking here and other personals sites. From my dating experience they seem to have higher than average expectations for men. Men on the other hand, such as myself tend to avoid these women once they are figured out. I want to know from both sexes what you think these expectations are and why women dont want to accept the character of guys that are attracted to them?
Maybe because she's not attracted to him. It has to work both ways, no? Why won't you accept the charater of women who are attractd to you? Surely there are some?
I am finding out that men tend to assume that if they are interested, and the women must be interested as well. Am I wrong here?
That is the $1 million question that til this day has no one real answer!
IMHO.. Some men do not appreciate what they have right in front of them until it's too late. It's the guys who reach their "ah ha" moment that hopefully stay to not only appreciate a woman's beauty on the outside, but her other inner qualities & substance that make her an incredibly special gem. Some people get it, others don't until it's too late.
From being a female of 24 in age..it's not that we can't find men..it's the kind of men we find. I am not saying every guy is horrible, but lets be honest most guys don't know how to treat a woman. They don't really know what they want. I think a lot of the issues come with communication. If you can't communicate how are you going to make the relationship work? Most guys seem to bottle up a lot of their emotions and don't know how to express themselves.
The Matchmaker Man on The Today Show a few days ago stated to Kathly Lee that statistics show: 20% of all married men cheat on a regular basis, weekly (OMG)....60% of all men stray on business out of and in town several times during their marriage and 20% of the rest of what is left over are actually honest and committed.
With "statistics" like this, it is a wonder all of us women do not stay single and never marry...on the other hand why hasn't the statistical bar changed for all us women, if we cheated regularly, we wouldn't really ever give a crap then, would we. How would men feel if we cheated on them all the time?
Maybe if there were stiffer laws, men wouldn't cheat, there just insn't any punishment for them yet, unless of course we all take the "Lorena Bobbit" mode of fixing them!!!!! The middle east puts cheaters "only women" to death and praises the men, I think the US has the same situation....see "John Edwards, Bill Clinton, and several preachers, etc." Men are conquerers, not nesters, is what I heard from a 58 yr old man many times a few yrs back...he stated to me and my boyfriend at the time "Dan, all men cheat...none of us are nesters, only women are, don't you agree?! I heard that so many times I wanted to slap that doctor's face!
I, myself, am staying single to find the right one, if u just go with anyone, chances are they will cheat, if u find the right one, good chances r, he will never cheat! It does take two!
Well, I couldn't possibly tell you why all beautiful women are single. Perhaps I could tell you why I am...
I've had a terrible time with relationships. A lot of the terror I could have avoided now that I reflect on my innocent ignorance. I used to believe that my love could heal all wounds, no matter how deep. Now in my maturity I see that the person must want to help themselves first. I accept that I am powerless to change someone. I want to be with a man who is happy and content with being himself. So far, I have not met that man. This is why I am single.
I can only say that the beautiful women over 40 that are single today are smarter, savvy and have figured out (especially if previously married) what rocks their world and what does not. We have made choices based on experience and not so much interested in finding any partner to say we have one but rather open to the right partner that is cool to grow old with.
Every woman has their own version on how to respond to this, the reality is....its simple.
I had a guy tell me once that I was too pretty to date- when I asked him to clarify what he meant- he told me that I was the girl that when I walked out of the room all eyes were on me. He said he couldnt stand all the attention and that he'd always feel like he was competing with everyone in the room. I was told he'd never be able to have a trusting relationship with someone like me.
I would like to think I am a catch- I have a great career, financially stable, educated, fun- but for some guys it can be intimidating I suppose. A lot of guys want you to need them and are insecure when they realize you don't.
The rest I have found- expect me to be the dumb blonde and hit the door running when I open my mouth and something intelligent comes out.
but honestly- if I knew anything I probably wouldnt still be single myself!!!
I don't know what your average expectation is but mine are high and I deliver. Personally, being on my own is preferable to being constantly annoyed. Maturity, at any age, goes a damn long way. Responsible, compassionate, kind - along with the sexy, hot and fun. I tend to find that good-looking men rely on their looks - great - have them.
I have been on many other sites and have not found them very good. I did meet someone on eharmony and it lasted 4 years. Which the last year and a half was us tapeing off.My point i am getting to is i totally relate to Texassunshines view. I have lived my life in limbo with the wrong women for so long that i barely recognize myself. It is sad how some of us become on our road to prosperity. So much so, it has effcted my prosperity ontop of my personality. I am ready for the right one. Where are you
I am still alone because I do not believe in forcing attraction or forcing to make a relationship work just so I can say I am in a relationship. That is unhealthy and both people will end up unhappy in the end and it will end.
This is a very good topic to explore...kudos for posting it!
IMO...It takes a very secure man to date a woman "above average in the looks dept". It is a gift to find a man that not only appreciates a beautiful woman but is not threatened by it. A woman beautiful on the outside loves it when a man takes the time to really get to know her inner beauty.
I feel it is best to have realistic expectations (i.e. similar to expectations you hold for yourself). A good rule to live by is treat others how you would like to be treated and expect of others only what you yourself have to offer. Above all be honest and be real.
A few years back a buddy of mine and I attended the Ft. Lauderdale Boat show which is a HUGE international event. We started over in the small boat section and were through there pretty quickly and into the mid-sized boats and through those pretty quickly making it over to the yachts by around 1p.
As we sat at this little outdoor venue eating a bite and watching the people, my buddy asked if I saw anything different about the women in this section.
I didnt and he pointed out to me there were no ugly women in the yacht section. As I looked around he was right. Every mega yacht owner and/or potential owner had an amazing hottie on his arms.
Moral of the story:
1) Dont go looking at mega yachts with an ugly guy by your side!
2) Beautiful people have options. Since most nice looking people can have their pick of suitors, why settle for someone who doesnt meet your expectations?
You know I am a 54 year old and I am not bad looking at all. Though I have been single for the past ten years, but I did find myself attracted to a man my age, and my race too, but his perference seems to be young white blonde women (height did not matter), so I was annoyed, because he is a very nice person and everyone likes him, he is a musical virtuoso on the guitar, but I think I spent two years trying to impress this guy with absolutely no impact. So I have not only moved out of state, but I have moved on. The funny thing is I just met a young man (39) and we hit it off well, and we are friends and he is just so nice to know, but he is married, and I don't mess with married men at all, because I had that done to me by a woman I thought was my friend. I respect the marriage vow seriously and I will lecture a man on remembering why he got married, and if he has kids, then I am very much an advocate for marriage.
Yes, if you see my Pic, you will see that I am a beautiful woman both inside and out, and I have been studying music for the past Ten years, and did not date or anything. Women my age are single because men my age want younger women, and they can have it especially if they are financially stable and own a home or not, but just is well to do....that what I see and what I know, so for me it is dis-heartning...