I have to agree a little with the standards that some set. Some women try and compare a man to his father and you can't do that. No one is perfect and you can never find a man like your father because that is your father not you man. Maybe some women just take the time out to get to know the person inside and out then maybe they would not be single.
As a single AMERICAN woman, I find these two comments to be generalizations, and rather unfair to the majority of American women. I know there are those kinds of selfish women out there who are extremely spoiled and full of themselves....but most women of any nationality are not like this.
I am sure that compared to other nationalites, what women in the US seem to look for is much different, but there are variety of reasons behind each women's decision in a mate/man.
I am single because I have chosen to this point to be so, mainly because I have not found a man who treats me respectfully, someone that loves me as I love them, and doesn't expect me to be his everything, aka, his mother, laundress, cook, etc.. I don't want a man I can boss around and I am far from spoiled, I just don't want to settle for someone that I know isn't right for me.
I won't dare speak for most women, but I will say this: I am having a problem finding a decent, comfortable in his own skin guy. It is not that my expectations are too high, it is simply that I am mature enough to decide what is good/or not good enough for me.
You might ask what does "good enough" means to me, well, it actually is a mix of basic qualities in a man which have become rarer and more pecious then time itself :). Gentelness and strength, kindness, courage, vertical spine, wisdom, sense of humor, a deep seeded sense of fairness, light hearted yet a deep thinker, unafraid of age, definately not a "show off", treating people with dignity...
Somehow it seems that the more attractive a woman is the more she attracts "show offs", men that confuse loving a woman with owning a woman.
It may be your looking only within a specific range and for a specific type, hence the reason you keep running into the same 'type' of woman with these same type of expectations. A 25 year old woman is quite different than a 45 year old woman...20 years of life experience...and 45 yrs very different than 55 yrs. Bottom line we tend to attract what we ourselves are within, so if you are having 'difficulty' in what you are attracting or attracted to...looking inward will help. Relationships only reflect who we already are, nothing more/less.
OP, I fall smack dab in the middle of your description of the single woman. At 47, after a 25+ year marriage, I'm back in the dating world. I'm educated, intelligent, attractive, and (even my ex husband would agree) I am described by those who know me as generous, kind, and sweet. I have no interest in changing anyone other than myself -- and that's a lifelong personal growth journey. (I'm usually rather humble as well, but these posts require a higher level of directness to get a point across, regardless of how uncomfortable I feel giving the description.) I just joined this site to see if I can find a man who is charismatic, intelligent, and emotionally mature. Those 3 characteristics are tough to find, in my experience (which is thus far rather limited). I'm a traditionalist, a woman who believes in the masculinity of a man and thrives on it -- I'd never want to step on it! It goes quite nicely with the femininity of a woman who enjoys being a woman (as I do). So why am I still single? I just haven't met "the one" yet. I don't have a check list, nor do I worry much about appearance (his, I mean; chemistry comes in all shapes and sizes), but when I've gone on 2 or 3 dates with someone and there's no chemistry whatsoever, there's no reason to keep wasting the man's money on dinners and drinks. It's best to be honest and move on. If there's chemistry and compatibility, I'm ready to commit to seeing if one evening turns into a month then a year, and so on.
Similar question goes to man who attractive.
I want to know why attractive man who knows how to take good care of themself are so picky even with the beautiful woman ? Why most of those man woman desire don't want commitment and marriage unless they face a day and realise that they are old and unattractive now and even with the money they can not buy what they want TO MAKE YOUNG BEAUTIFULL WOMAN TRULY LOVE HIM.
Ok Im open to all opinions. I want to know why ladies who are mainly 25 to 45 who consider themselves beautiful either inside or outside, are still single and can't seem to find a guy to settle down with. Many are looking here and other personals sites. From my dating experience they seem to have higher than average expectations for men. Men on the other hand, such as myself tend to avoid these women once they are figured out. I want to know from both sexes what you think these expectations are and why women dont want to accept the character of guys that are attracted to them?
i dont have expectations that are too high & i am quite single. i realize that most millionaires are 50+, look 70, are 5'4(but say they are 5'7 on their profiles)& are out of shape but expect me to stay 100 lbs for the rest of my life.
i get that & i am fine with that
still looking,still waiting, still hopeful,still single.
Well I was married for 30 years and I was very happy and had 4 beautiful children, I consider myself a beautiful, confident and smart women...however one day I came home and found my husband with a 22 year old tart....I asked him why and his response was I wanted to know what it was like to be someone else....but I was finished....so some of us on here havent been single all our life.....we have a lot of love to give and love being a partner and best friend and come on we are lonely to....who doesnt want to wake up to someone they love....so dont presume that we are all difficult to please women looking for the perfect man.....I would be happy with someone who respected me with honesty and passion....when I am ready to go out and when I wake up in the morning for me that is love.....remember this is my opinion and not what you may think.....so just always remember one thing to smile.....
I think everybody has a different experience so in essence will have a different answer Some indeed will have high expectations but this is true to some men also but more are realistic in what they want. Personally from my own experience I have often got into conversation with blue color workers and everything seemed to be ok until we discussed education, careers etc then you felt the whole atmosphere changing. It never bothered me and my interest was still the same but others had a problem because there was a difference on this issue. I think the role of women and men in society today has changed and some men find this an issue, men were traditionally the main bread winner but in todays world a woman could be and some men are still trying to cope with this very existence.
As I mentioned at the start there is no universal answer to this question and everybody will have different reasons.
In studies of married men, the men site the number one reason they chose their wives as "she was nice and thoughtful"... In today's society, especially when dating, how often do you run into beautiful women who are nice and thoughtful? Most are of the belief that if you don't kiss their ass they'll find another guy who is richer and who will kiss their ass... in about 15 minutes and history generally proves them right.
Having said that...
In the book The 5 Love Needs of Men and Women by Gary and Barb Rosberg they site research that shows a mans number one emotional need is unconditional acceptance. How often have you been out with ANY woman who can provide that one simple need?
Having said that...
A German female friend of mine living in the states made these two observations:
1) American women are spoiled (if you've ever dated any woman from any other culture you get this)
2) American women don't like men. They like the IDEA of a man but they don't actually like men. They don't want dirty socks on the floor, they don't want the toilette seat up, they don't want the news paper scattered all over the couch etc. etc. While American women bemoan these things, women from other cultures celebrate them because they know their man is happy, at home and with them and the absence of these things means their man is somewhere else.
I'd say put it all together and you have your answer... Beautiful american women are spoiled and they want a wussy man they can control and who requires nothing from them.
The problem is that most men, especially the successful men, know that women like these are a dime a dozen and although they may make interesting playthings, we hold out for a woman who can add value to our lives... and I mean value beyond their beauty... and those women are few and far between.
I just want to first say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Next, I want to say that it is my belief that when a woman is over about the age of 40-45 (at least in my locale), the number of single, eligible men diminishes to a point where it is difficult to find a compatible match.
I have say its harder for a woman that is 51 to find a mate. There is a lot of beautiful women over 50. It seems men my age on their profile are looking for women 25-38 or 28-40? Nothing against you younger ladies. I just signed up and my margin of selections are very slim."
I do not think there is a general rule... I consider myself inteligente and attractive.
I was married once, and I had very bad luck.
I still keep the desire of get married and have a traditional family.
I am single by election, but I don't mean because I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, but because this time I really want to get to know the right man, not only for his looks, but intelligence, self confidence and good manners.
Money is not the most important to find a man attractive.
I think beautiful woman between 25 and 45 learned from previous experiences that is better to be alone, that having the wrong partner.