That is the $1 million question that til this day has no one real answer!
IMHO.. Some men do not appreciate what they have right in front of them until it's too late. It's the guys who reach their "ah ha" moment that hopefully stay to not only appreciate a woman's beauty on the outside, but her other inner qualities & substance that make her an incredibly special gem. Some people get it, others don't until it's too late.
From being a female of 24 in age..it's not that we can't find men..it's the kind of men we find. I am not saying every guy is horrible, but lets be honest most guys don't know how to treat a woman. They don't really know what they want. I think a lot of the issues come with communication. If you can't communicate how are you going to make the relationship work? Most guys seem to bottle up a lot of their emotions and don't know how to express themselves.
The Matchmaker Man on The Today Show a few days ago stated to Kathly Lee that statistics show: 20% of all married men cheat on a regular basis, weekly (OMG)....60% of all men stray on business out of and in town several times during their marriage and 20% of the rest of what is left over are actually honest and committed.
With "statistics" like this, it is a wonder all of us women do not stay single and never marry...on the other hand why hasn't the statistical bar changed for all us women, if we cheated regularly, we wouldn't really ever give a crap then, would we. How would men feel if we cheated on them all the time?
Maybe if there were stiffer laws, men wouldn't cheat, there just insn't any punishment for them yet, unless of course we all take the "Lorena Bobbit" mode of fixing them!!!!! The middle east puts cheaters "only women" to death and praises the men, I think the US has the same situation....see "John Edwards, Bill Clinton, and several preachers, etc." Men are conquerers, not nesters, is what I heard from a 58 yr old man many times a few yrs back...he stated to me and my boyfriend at the time "Dan, all men cheat...none of us are nesters, only women are, don't you agree?! I heard that so many times I wanted to slap that doctor's face!
I, myself, am staying single to find the right one, if u just go with anyone, chances are they will cheat, if u find the right one, good chances r, he will never cheat! It does take two!
Well, I couldn't possibly tell you why all beautiful women are single. Perhaps I could tell you why I am...
I've had a terrible time with relationships. A lot of the terror I could have avoided now that I reflect on my innocent ignorance. I used to believe that my love could heal all wounds, no matter how deep. Now in my maturity I see that the person must want to help themselves first. I accept that I am powerless to change someone. I want to be with a man who is happy and content with being himself. So far, I have not met that man. This is why I am single.
I can only say that the beautiful women over 40 that are single today are smarter, savvy and have figured out (especially if previously married) what rocks their world and what does not. We have made choices based on experience and not so much interested in finding any partner to say we have one but rather open to the right partner that is cool to grow old with.
Every woman has their own version on how to respond to this, the reality is....its simple.
I had a guy tell me once that I was too pretty to date- when I asked him to clarify what he meant- he told me that I was the girl that when I walked out of the room all eyes were on me. He said he couldnt stand all the attention and that he'd always feel like he was competing with everyone in the room. I was told he'd never be able to have a trusting relationship with someone like me.
I would like to think I am a catch- I have a great career, financially stable, educated, fun- but for some guys it can be intimidating I suppose. A lot of guys want you to need them and are insecure when they realize you don't.
The rest I have found- expect me to be the dumb blonde and hit the door running when I open my mouth and something intelligent comes out.
but honestly- if I knew anything I probably wouldnt still be single myself!!!
I don't know what your average expectation is but mine are high and I deliver. Personally, being on my own is preferable to being constantly annoyed. Maturity, at any age, goes a damn long way. Responsible, compassionate, kind - along with the sexy, hot and fun. I tend to find that good-looking men rely on their looks - great - have them.
I have been on many other sites and have not found them very good. I did meet someone on eharmony and it lasted 4 years. Which the last year and a half was us tapeing off.My point i am getting to is i totally relate to Texassunshines view. I have lived my life in limbo with the wrong women for so long that i barely recognize myself. It is sad how some of us become on our road to prosperity. So much so, it has effcted my prosperity ontop of my personality. I am ready for the right one. Where are you
I am still alone because I do not believe in forcing attraction or forcing to make a relationship work just so I can say I am in a relationship. That is unhealthy and both people will end up unhappy in the end and it will end.
This is a very good topic to explore...kudos for posting it!
IMO...It takes a very secure man to date a woman "above average in the looks dept". It is a gift to find a man that not only appreciates a beautiful woman but is not threatened by it. A woman beautiful on the outside loves it when a man takes the time to really get to know her inner beauty.
I feel it is best to have realistic expectations (i.e. similar to expectations you hold for yourself). A good rule to live by is treat others how you would like to be treated and expect of others only what you yourself have to offer. Above all be honest and be real.
A few years back a buddy of mine and I attended the Ft. Lauderdale Boat show which is a HUGE international event. We started over in the small boat section and were through there pretty quickly and into the mid-sized boats and through those pretty quickly making it over to the yachts by around 1p.
As we sat at this little outdoor venue eating a bite and watching the people, my buddy asked if I saw anything different about the women in this section.
I didnt and he pointed out to me there were no ugly women in the yacht section. As I looked around he was right. Every mega yacht owner and/or potential owner had an amazing hottie on his arms.
Moral of the story:
1) Dont go looking at mega yachts with an ugly guy by your side!
2) Beautiful people have options. Since most nice looking people can have their pick of suitors, why settle for someone who doesnt meet your expectations?
You know I am a 54 year old and I am not bad looking at all. Though I have been single for the past ten years, but I did find myself attracted to a man my age, and my race too, but his perference seems to be young white blonde women (height did not matter), so I was annoyed, because he is a very nice person and everyone likes him, he is a musical virtuoso on the guitar, but I think I spent two years trying to impress this guy with absolutely no impact. So I have not only moved out of state, but I have moved on. The funny thing is I just met a young man (39) and we hit it off well, and we are friends and he is just so nice to know, but he is married, and I don't mess with married men at all, because I had that done to me by a woman I thought was my friend. I respect the marriage vow seriously and I will lecture a man on remembering why he got married, and if he has kids, then I am very much an advocate for marriage.
Yes, if you see my Pic, you will see that I am a beautiful woman both inside and out, and I have been studying music for the past Ten years, and did not date or anything. Women my age are single because men my age want younger women, and they can have it especially if they are financially stable and own a home or not, but just is well to do....that what I see and what I know, so for me it is dis-heartning...
Women who have a lot to offer in all ways who are smart, kind in nature, respectful, honorable, successful and have accomplished their own personal goals do not really care so much for men that have problems such as huge debts, bad driving records, housing issues, crazy ex wife issues, mamma's boys, drugs/alcohol/gambling dependencies etc...I was once married to a super smart book smart professional but he was horrible with money despite his earning potential. He also had bad credit and a bad driving record that was a burden to our financial situation. No it did not put a dent into our lifestyle but what was wasted because of his bad driving and poor handling of money could easily have paid for a child's college education. I could deal with that and even with the fact he never had much of a sexual appetite due to vicoden for his back pain...but he not only was a mamma's boy, he eventually allowed her to control him and it killed the 10 great years we had together. When he realized his errors....it was too late. I felt I dodged a big enough bullet.
I was raised by what I feel is a perfect example of a very good man and a very good woman catch wise. Since my parents were a good match for each other they had a marriage till death. That's 1/2 of a century of success...and a very good marriage at that and one I finally began to learn by after my own marriage failed. My marriage did not fail because of my mate...it failed because I chose the wrong mate.
To better the chances of a successful LTR contains many ingredients that go into the recipe for a successful LTR.
Similar social class, similar goals, similar personalities, similar with finances etc...It's not just all about looks...but attraction must be there and the "real chemistry" is not abut looks at all, it's how two people get along, interact, weather arguments and deal with each other's flaws as well as personality quirks. Yes, we all have flaws....I may be a great catch and have a lot to offer a mate but I too admit I have flaws. I would however like to think that the good person I have become really makes up for the flaws and what I bring to the table totally out weights the not so desirable personality quirks I may have.
So CHEMISTRY is NOT just about physical attraction and similarities....CHEMISTRY is really more about what character flaws we will tolerate in our mate. It just go to prove that time between two people really counts and before we hop in the sack and rock each other's world physically we need to stop and think about how well that strategy has worked for us in the past relationships that resulted in failure.
The bottom line:
The better we feel about ourselves when in our mate's company....the better the relationship we have regardless if it's work related, platonic or intimate.
YOU CAN LEARN from your past relationships, understand your present ones and or even predict the success potential of your future choices - be they personal, professional or other. YOU JUST HAVE TO STOP and GIVE IT SOME GENUNINE THOUGHT BEFORE TRYING TO START ALL OVER AGAIN