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Share experiences about people with personality disorders
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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 10:49

One of the things that scares me about mental treatment for young people is when they go to look for a job if they are truthful and say they have been in a mental health treatment program they are sometimes treated as if they are crazy or a pariah of some sort. You can get any other kind of medical treatment and you are not treated that way. This seems so unfair to me.

Adults who have been in the job market for awhile and may have lost their job and are looking for another may be treated the same way or worse.



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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 10:41

There is a group you can find in most of the larger cities and maybe some not so large called RECOVERY that you can find the telephone number of in the directory or from Information.

A doctor had so many patients that had been in treatment but were out who still felt the need to talk with him that he wrote a book called RECOVERY and the organization got started. It may not be for all people but you might like to check it out.



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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 02:25

I agree with you Katiegirl about the availability of help for these sufferers..
I am currently helping a friend to identify a school in the US for her son who I suspect is either dyslexic/ADD or has some form of learning difficulty and problem and it does not help that he has a sister who is extra bright and beautiful and therefore constantly being compared. It has been a problem for years but because they were expatriates moving from place to place hoping that each school he went to would help..but now at 16, he has got worse..and the educational psychologists they consult always claim that he was only mildly dyslexic..and so the problem gets ignored or shelved..I have suggested that he try a summer camp for teens with learning difficulties this summer in the US before they move him over to US or wherever..any recommendations anyone?
This boy is currently in an INternational American school in Shanghai and has probably been through about 6 different schools in his academic life..so he is probably a confused kid as well..



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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 02:12

I attended art schools as a child and teen, and every kid in all my classes was an extreme extrovert or an extreme introvert. Some were heroin addicts at 15-17 and others were the children of strict, disciplinary parents. Still others were "cutters" with small burn marks or scars on their arms or legs. Some were downright wonky and homicidal whack jobs we kept far away from. EVERYBODY was depressed. It was in vogue.

The worst thing about depression, back then and even still today, is its "invisibility." It's one of those dis-eases that has no visible symptoms, no humps, now missing limbs, no wheelchair or white cane. If you tell someone you have it, or ADD, or Fybromyalgia, or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome .... most people stare at you blankly and then, when you aren't looking, roll their eyes at the ceiling. Depression is not always easy to hide, but it?s easier to hide than ADD, in some cases. In order to function in society, those who suffer from either, devise ingenious ways to mask their disorders, concealing their inabilities and fooling everyone around them. But it?s an awful strain to keep such a secret, to pretend to be like everybody else, to hang onto dignity and claim the right to be treated like a ?normal? human being.

Depression or ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) which I like to refer to as "MDG" or "Mis-Diagnosed Giftedness" (lol)... are two "conditions," if I may, .... that you can't prove. As a result ... people don't know as much about them, have a difficult time understanding them, and sometimes flat-out "don't believe in them," although the news is getting out there more now, which reduces the vast numbers of ignorant. That's gotta be good.

......more...



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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 02:12

cont'd.....

Yet people, even today, whether in the school, workplace or social circles, will tell those with depression to, "Just su*ck it up and deal with it!" People will tell those with ADD, right to their face ... "That ADD crap is just an excuse for lazy people to get away with not working as hard or to get out of doing better." Both are so misunderstood that, unless more is done to educate the public, there will still be depressed, ADD, suicidal victims out there, like ticking time bombs ready to go off. And who would know? And would they care if they knew?

Both depression and ADD (or ADHD, including Adult ADD) are unique in their isolation of the sufferer. When you wonder why anyone would think of killing themselves.... just not being understood is reason enough to make a depressed person wish they didn't have to deal with it anymore.

And despite what country you're in, despite the health programs in place in any community anywhere in North America, despite the rhetoric and hype and political spinning ...... there is no help. Not the right kind of help. Not the kind of help people who suffer from either NEED; just the kind of help that concerned help-givers can provide and the pseudo-do-gooders setup to give the impression of helping.

I think depression and ADD will be around for a long time yet.

  


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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 02:09

Weelassy,
You seem like someone who is an expert in this area..I always am curious how one could determine that the mental disorder is one where you need a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a psycho-analyst...who then is the final arbiter as to what you need?

Here in UK ,even if you have private health insurance, your first base is a GP who has little knowledge of that area of medicine and it all depends on who he refers you to..and the long road to finding the right help is really like a needle in a haystack, it needs a lot of researching thru word of mouth, recommendation, ..and of course the medical profession does not advertise ,so the search for the right help could take forever...and truly frustrating ..wahtever the illness.



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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 00:47

Many things can trigger debilitating depression. Feelings of depression are caused by a chemical change that affects how the brain functions.

A normally functioning brain is a giant messaging system that controls everything from your heartbeat, to walking, to your emotions. The brain is made up of billions of nerve cells called neurons. These neurons send and receive messages from the rest of your body, using brain chemicals called neurotransmitters.

These brain chemicals?in varying amounts?are responsible for our emotional state. Depression happens when these chemical messages aren?t delivered correctly between brain cells, disrupting communication.

Think of a telephone: if your phone has a weak signal, you may not hear the person on the other end. Their communication is muted or unclear.

The good news is that there are many forms of treatment that can help you cope with depression, including medications that can strengthen weak signals by raising the levels of certain neurotransmitters, or by improving the neurons? ability to process signals. This ensures that the brain?s vital messages are delivered?loud and clear.



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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 00:38

Although men are less likely to suffer from depression than women, 3 to 4 million men in the United States are affected by the illness. Men are less likely to admit to depression, and doctors are less likely to suspect it. The rate of suicide in men is four times that of women

Even if a man realizes that he is depressed, he may be less willing than a woman to seek help.

Only in the past two decades has depression in children been taken very seriously. The depressed child may pretend to be sick, refuse to go to school, cling to a parent, or worry that the parent may die. Older children may sulk, get into trouble at school, be negative, grouchy, and feel misunderstood. Because normal behaviors vary from one childhood stage to another, it can be difficult to tell whether a child is just going through a temporary "phase" or is suffering from depression.

My poor girlfriend is experincing the 5 stages now as her brother who was gorgeous young and had hid whole life ahead of him hung himself in his famly home. She now is epressed because she did not or was not able to grow through the greiving as we all would normally because she was 5 months pregnant. She oftens gets anger at her brother that did that to her and her Family. All I can do is be her suonding board and tell her he was very saddened and not thinking logically because if he was he would not like the outcome not wish them(his family pain)but his pain was to great and she is not to blame.



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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 00:29

A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.

Depressive disorders come in different forms, just as is the case with other illnesses such as heart disease.
Some types of depression run in families, suggesting that a biological vulnerability can be inherited. This seems to be the case with bipolar disorder.People who have low self-esteem, who consistently view themselves and the world with pessimism or who are readily overwhelmed by stress, are prone to depression. Whether this represents a psychological predisposition or an early form of the illness is not clear.
In recent years, researchers have shown that physical changes in the body can be accompanied by mental changes as well. Medical illnesses such as stroke, a heart attack, cancer, Parkinson's disease, and hormonal disorders can cause depressive illness, making the sick person apathetic and unwilling to care for his or her physical needs, thus prolonging the recovery period. Also, a serious loss, difficult relationship, financial problem, or any stressful (unwelcome or even desired) change in life patterns can trigger a depressive episode.
Women experience depression about twice as often as men.1 Many hormonal factors may contribute to the increased rate of depression in women?particularly such factors as menstrual cycle changes, pregnancy, miscarriage, postpartum period, pre-menopause, and menopause.

Although men are less likely to suffer from depression than w...

  


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Posted on Wed, May 04, 2005 21:32

sharp
very sad story- and soo many kids doing it.. seems the 15-18 yr range is at an all time high- i wonder if because at that age u are just starting to evolve into your own self or that at that age situations seem soo much larger then they are at say 40 yrs old- the coping skills of those 18 and under are not yet there-- everything on a 1-10 is a 10

"wonder if those who commit suicide realize how much they are loved, and how much their death will affect those who love them. If they really knew, would they have reconsidered, and not done the act? "

sharp i hear people say suicide is so selfish and get angry at the person but i often think to myself-- my God what pain they must be in to be able to take their own life, so lost and not believing anyone could identify with their feelings.. when realistically we all feel the same feelings from time to time.. i know families where the mom committed suicide - years later the sister did then the brother-- was it gentic the depression or were they simply following moms coping skills?



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Posted on Wed, May 04, 2005 21:02

WWW..I commend you for this forum...I believe friends are true friends to be able to open up with inner feelings...along with with you www, Sharp and NY.. I back you up...

my so-called friendboyfriend in my senior year of high school (years ago, lol) but still in my heart...was "driven" by his parents to be nothing but the best..in golf..,,, I was a summer lifeguard and he was supposed to meet me for the fourth of July stuff at the pool that afternoon...he did not show...he was number one on the golf team.... then my parents called and said there had been a serious tragedy...he took his life in his bedroom right before they were all coming to the country club...a few weeks before he left, he said Holly... I thought life was a lot longer than this...



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Posted on Wed, May 04, 2005 19:57


NYCHICK write:
sometimes i think depression can be situational - like something traumatic happening or a problem someone is having a diffucult time with.. medication can be over used.


You are correct NY. When I was 17, a very good friend of mine committed suicide. We were in gr 12. Her school marks were high. She had so many good friends who cared about her. She had 4 sibblings. Her parents were very strict, and treated her as though the did not trust her. Knowing her well, and now as an adult, I can still look back and know "they could trust her."
We knew she wasn't happy about her parents being so strict. Early curfews 11 p.m. when she was almost 18 yrs old. None of us realized how depressed she was over it. She was always a happy person. After her suicide, her parents went from one extreme (being overly strict) to the other extreme with her younger brothers(being too lenient). Her Mother became extremely depressed, and 7 yrs later, she also committed suicide.
I wonder if those who commit suicide realize how much they are loved, and how much their death will affect those who love them. If they really knew, would they have reconsidered, and not done the act?



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Posted on Wed, May 04, 2005 15:42

Bonnie
Andrea Yates was an example of a clearly sick individual and those around her were aware of it.. yet look what happen.. there is a stigma to having a mental illness- yet there is none to having cancer or any other kinda of illness.. very sad for the individual and sad for the families that A- dont see it or B. choose to ignore it.. a huge population of those that are mentally ill generally have substance abuse issues as well- which mask the mental illness even further..



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Posted on Wed, May 04, 2005 14:22

its the teens that scare me- they isolate and parents dont always see the change they may mistake it as part of the growing independent process..

but on the whole mental illness does not discrimate rich or poor
______________________________________

Yes, NY Chick you are definitely right about mental disorders on all counts. It is a disease that does not generally manifest itself visibly till it is far down the road. In both cases, the two women I knew hid their problems rather well..and living in a society that holds great stigma against people wtih mental disorder, the tendency is for the family and love ones to deny that it exist or that it is not so serious and hence the victim gets ignored.
the other issue is of course if we are aware that someone has suicidal tendencies but refuse to admit it, we as friends can do little to help..since it is something most people (family and love ones )would deny. I knew an acquaintance (dentist) whom I suspect was that way inclined, and later a psychiatrist friend of mine confirmed it when she examined her cut, but we were not able to help her since she denied that her wrist was deliberately cut..and she moved away..so we just hoped she has not cause herself anymore harm..I guess it is important that we should all be virgilant and observe unusual behaviour of friends and love ones..




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Posted on Wed, May 04, 2005 13:57

bonnie
Why do successful , intelligent people find it hard to cope when their expectations of themselves and others they love fail them? Has social pressure and status anxiety overtaken in our ruthless world of competition and survival? Has survival of the fittest meant self-annihilation if you find you are losing the game? HOw does one recognise these symptoms and seek help before it is too late?

That is sad about your friend, but u stated u returned years later only to find her different.
I think mental illness- personality problems rum the gamat no matter if u are successful or not. I do however agree that there is a lot of pressure on successful women, espeically while being a parent too, so that the tendancy for anxiety or depression is greater in that area..
How does one recognize the signs. There are many signs and symptoms of illness such as depression, what is sad is that sometimes the person does well hiding what they are feeling and by the time another sees the change they may be further along in thier illness

There is help for those who suffer from mental illness and there is no shame in one having to take medication for it.

sometimes i think depression can be situational - like something traumatic happening or a problem someone is having a diffucult time with.. medication can be over used.

a good freind or a spouse generally if they are paying attention to their loved one can normally see the change.

its the teens that scare me- they isolate and parents dont always see the change they may mistake it as part of the growing independent process..

but on the whole mental illness does not discrimate rich or poor



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Posted on Wed, May 04, 2005 02:29

WEll, I have met and known quite a few seriously disturbed friends in my time who have taken their own lives. My closest girlfriend at law school , without whom I would not have passed my exams, was a staunch Christian, hardworking girl, the first to start her own practice and the first to marry..she believed devoutly that God has planned her life for her and everything she prayed for has come true..I return home each year to see her..and after she had her daughter , she kept complaining that she has got serious post-natal blues, this went on for 15 years..though her practice was thriving, she was a worrier..When i went home for the 20th Law Class reunion, the week before that , she killed herself by jumping down a 20th floor building..I could never know what happen to this cheerful positive and optimistic girl..another girlfriend of mine did the same thing shortly after the birth of her first baby son..she was one the finest violinist in the country..
Since then I have come across several other cases of women who are sucessful ,positive and optimistic in life but yet succumb to taking their own life when they find it hard to cope and beyond their control..it has prompted me to even study psychology and read more about how our minds work..
Why do successful , intelligent people find it hard to cope when their expectations of themselves and others they love fail them? Has social pressure and status anxiety overtaken in our ruthless world of competition and survival? Has survival of the fittest meant self-annihilation if you find you are losing the game? HOw does one recognise these symptoms and seek help before it is too late?



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