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Posted on Tue, May 24, 2005 04:56


trumpxzx write:
This is my first visit to this site. Just checking things out ... it's kind of amazing how browsing the women on this site is just like browsing the women on any Russian site ... the same physical "quality" is present in abundance, except on the Russian sites there is no cosmetic surgery required to achieve that. What the incidence of that is here, who can tell, but I'd bet money it's over 90%. There, a 12 to 15 year age difference (with the woman being younger) is common, no kids is VERY common, and the average guy with an average income is who these women marry. The long-term divorce rate in Russian / American marriages is well under the American average and typically the entire process is completed in under a year for around $10k. More guys don't go this route probably only because of the stigma surrounding it - "you can't get a woman in your own country," "she just wants a green card," etc.; all the myths people buy into. Anyway the concentration of physical beauty on this site is overwhelming; I guess it's true that women want power and money above all else; those who feel they have a realistic shot at it, go for it without hesitation. Just my observations. Personally I wouldn't date an American woman; I don't see the women themselves as being the problem but rather what our culture has bred them to be.

hmmmm who has had cosmetic surgery here? i am sorry, i havent & that i am also confused on ur post..



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Posted on Mon, May 23, 2005 22:15

real
congrats on gettin rid of the old neg tapes that followed u from childhood to adulthood-- its tough work overcoming abuse in any form-- but finding out who u are and being happy with u is an accomplishment-- proud of ya sista- and happy to see that u know u have self worth and are no longer allowing neg people in ya life.. way to go



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Posted on Mon, May 23, 2005 18:56

I think that marriage is the sign of serious relationship, combined with love, companionship and long lasting happiness. It shouldn't be seen, considered or thought just as a limited signed paper, but as a serious commitment.

  


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Posted on Mon, May 23, 2005 05:58

This is my first visit to this site. Just checking things out ... it's kind of amazing how browsing the women on this site is just like browsing the women on any Russian site ... the same physical "quality" is present in abundance, except on the Russian sites there is no cosmetic surgery required to achieve that. What the incidence of that is here, who can tell, but I'd bet money it's over 90%. There, a 12 to 15 year age difference (with the woman being younger) is common, no kids is VERY common, and the average guy with an average income is who these women marry. The long-term divorce rate in Russian / American marriages is well under the American average and typically the entire process is completed in under a year for around $10k. More guys don't go this route probably only because of the stigma surrounding it - "you can't get a woman in your own country," "she just wants a green card," etc.; all the myths people buy into. Anyway the concentration of physical beauty on this site is overwhelming; I guess it's true that women want power and money above all else; those who feel they have a realistic shot at it, go for it without hesitation. Just my observations. Personally I wouldn't date an American woman; I don't see the women themselves as being the problem but rather what our culture has bred them to be.



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Posted on Mon, May 23, 2005 03:47


Bonnie88 write:
sorry Real, I have not had time to read the rest of your life on the thread. BUt it is lovely to know that you have found yourself and your vocation helping others in similar plight. YOU would be a great asset to them and a role model too I bet.
Good for you and like CP say, I hope you will find the one man who will appreciate the hard life you have been thru and the beautiful woman you are now.

thxs, he will come someday.

  


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Posted on Mon, May 23, 2005 03:37


champagnepowder write:
Here's to you Real (me raising my glass) for your honesty and straight forwardness. With all you've been through it sounds like you found out who you are and what you want. Good luck on your new path!

thxs..hope it's blackberry wine...lol



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Posted on Mon, May 23, 2005 03:36


NYCHICK write:
no signs?? looking back now can u see any red flags that went unnoticed-- generally there are some

nychick..that not always correct. someone who abuses has a tendancy to be a camelion..hard to see their true color or who they are.they also have a tendancy to believe their way of treating a woman is way it is supposed to be....caveman.my ex was just as charming as steve or ssweendoggy(when he displayed it) UNTIL after we married..then the abuse started.granted there are some who arent good at hiding this side of themselves. it's like a pedifile..meeting one u would never think or see this side of them. i know women cops & attorneys who married abusers..was no signs & the man came off as prince charming thru out the dating period.mine..was the prince charming...also most abuse dont take place unless it's drug or alcohol induced.



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Posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 23:06

sorry Real, I have not had time to read the rest of your life on the thread. BUt it is lovely to know that you have found yourself and your vocation helping others in similar plight. YOU would be a great asset to them and a role model too I bet.
Good for you and like CP say, I hope you will find the one man who will appreciate the hard life you have been thru and the beautiful woman you are now.

  


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Posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 22:47

Here's to you Real (me raising my glass) for your honesty and straight forwardness. With all you've been through it sounds like you found out who you are and what you want. Good luck on your new path!



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Posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 22:23

no signs?? looking back now can u see any red flags that went unnoticed-- generally there are some



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Posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 14:44

Bonnie as i said i had been abused all my life..as a kid & into marriages..i seen my parents battles & thought that was way it was. i chose men who didnt come across as abusers..but domineering. what i was saying, is 10 yrs ago i broke that pattern,and have never looked or felt better in my life. the question here was bout marriage..yes, i want the married life, i love being married.only with the right man!

  


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Posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 14:33


Bonnie88 write:
Real,
Have you thought that maybe you have been going for the wrong sort of guy or attracting the wrong type who seem to take advantage of you? Perhaps it is time to change your image, your taste for the sort of men you seem to fall for or attract? Try a different scene and meet a different category of men? Give yourself a complete makeover or change?
Our needs and our taste change thru age and now that u have been thru the angst of your mistakes perhaps you need to re-examine what u truly need in a man? Consult your friends or family members and ask for their honest opinion about your choice in men and trust them to give you a good check and look-over before you get serious with a man..if you can't trust your own choice maybe an impartial judge who has your interest at heart is a better guide for you..it is like going for expert advice...if in doubt..

bonnie..no i sure dont think i need a make over or need to change men. i have been single almost 10 yrs divorced 9. that was when i changed my life for the better. like i said...i worked in battered shelters for women & in battered children's shelters. apparently u didnt get what i was saying in my post. my life is wonderful! i dont have to have a man in my life..but i want one & wont settle for less than the best, romantic, compassionate, loyal, honest. i know what type of man i want in my life & i have recently started dating, it's actually fun..cuz i am in charge of my life, not a man!



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Posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 10:34

Real,
Have you thought that maybe you have been going for the wrong sort of guy or attracting the wrong type who seem to take advantage of you? Perhaps it is time to change your image, your taste for the sort of men you seem to fall for or attract? Try a different scene and meet a different category of men? Give yourself a complete makeover or change?
Our needs and our taste change thru age and now that u have been thru the angst of your mistakes perhaps you need to re-examine what u truly need in a man? Consult your friends or family members and ask for their honest opinion about your choice in men and trust them to give you a good check and look-over before you get serious with a man..if you can't trust your own choice maybe an impartial judge who has your interest at heart is a better guide for you..it is like going for expert advice...if in doubt..



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Posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 06:00

i had done the living together thing..for me i find that it dont work...to easy to throw up ur hands & walk away without trying to work thru the issues.with marriage..i went with my husband five yrs before i married him. so it goes to show..we dont always know whom we're marrying. lol as far as marriage..i dont know anyone who likes going thru divorce so they usually try to work thru issues & avoid divorce court.



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Posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 04:49


champagnepowder write:
Real, I am curious how you could love being married but not love the person you were married to??

Bonnie, I am definitely walking in your shoes ;-) If you don't like the whole marriage thing then don't jump into it just for the supposed security it provides. If more than half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce then where is the security? Why does marriage make you feel more secure than being in a committed relationship that hasn't gone through the ceremony that society says you should partake in? I just don't see the need for marriage. If you both agree then great and I may get married some day to the right woman but I don't think you should do it because you think your relationship is going to be so much more committed and secure once you make your vows.


I'm definitely pro-marriage and I think it does provide a kind of commitment and security that you don't get when you are just living with someone.
However I see your points CP and Bonnie.
Marriage is not a guarantee either that everything's going to be perfect.
And yes CP I agree that two people should get married because they both feel that way and really want to and not because it's something they SHOULD do for society's sake.



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Posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 01:54

Having read your story REAL, I often advocate co-habitation for a while , that way u would b able to suss out the dark side of his life and the quirky habits that could get on your nerve after a while..co-habitation makes it easy to end without dire consequences ,the bloody paperwork and of course the possible economic consequences if you are the main financier in the marriage...
Love is often blind and I see too many women fall for that trap..even very smart ones to realise too late that they are trapped in a loveless union and have become dependent on it for survival since many have given up their careers and jobs and are left to fend for themselves with little financial support...and some badly abused mentally and physically..losing all self-esteem.
women desperately need lessons in being independent both emotionally and economically before they surrender themselves to the misconceived idea that he will be your saviour .. and he is your escape ..even femme fatales have to learn that after they find their catch they need to work harder to keep their men if they want to make that their career..so girls, marriage is not a meal ticket nor a guarantee to a secure life..only you are your own secure ticket to your own destination and happiness...make sure you have a return ticket whatever you do...



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Posted on Sat, May 21, 2005 20:29


champagnepowder write:
Hey real, I am sorry to hear that and thanks for being honest! I am glad you had the ability to get out of that relationship though and hopefully you will find something much better in the future. You're right some are the marrying kind. I lean more towards the committed relationship kind. If marriage comes of that then great but I wouldn't be heart-broken if it didn't.
Good luck to you

thxs..abuse is never acceptable in any form..i had it all my life. i always wondered what god's plans were for me, then i found out..i love working with elderly, battered kids & also in a battered women's shelter. it's a good feeling to share my past with them & for them to see, it took me yrs to understand i never deserved the abuse & that i have been out of it almost 10 yrs now. as far as my ex..god took him at the age of 48, just 10 months after i divorced him.i am strong & have alot of love to give the right man.

  


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Posted on Sat, May 21, 2005 19:57

Hey real, I am sorry to hear that and thanks for being honest! I am glad you had the ability to get out of that relationship though and hopefully you will find something much better in the future. You're right some are the marrying kind. I lean more towards the committed relationship kind. If marriage comes of that then great but I wouldn't be heart-broken if it didn't.
Good luck to you

  


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Posted on Sat, May 21, 2005 19:50


champagnepowder write:
Real, I am curious how you could love being married but not love the person you were married to??



well...because after 2 weeks of being married the physical & mental abuse started...then his hiding spots on where he hid his big bottles of vodka got easier to find...was no signs what so ever of an abuser before we married. he was a soft spoken & kind man. so that is where the didnt like came in, didnt say i didnt love him..cuz i did & would still be married to him,if he hadnt beat on me.there are some people who are meant to be married & some who arent..i am the marrying kind.

  


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Posted on Sat, May 21, 2005 13:06


NYCHICK write:
oh please i get married because i like to dress up



...LOL... I agree with u... Y didn't u put this thread under Romance?



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