*Scraping and crumbling noise of asphalt and concrete breaking up as another flak riddled newbie comes down on the runway with the landing gear up, courtesy of flakmeisters Mand and Kelli.*

HI ALL
hi all
OH i said that already-- sorry- i was in a motorcyle accident this weekend.. seems the biker i was with was the one who invented the sticker that said " the bi*ch fell off" yes susan he did knock me off and as a nurse u know the drill-- since brittney had my helmet - i had to undergo MRIs- tons of neurologist seen me and my hooters.. and well quite frankly im not gettin back on his bike.. get an extra helmet susan!! hes lethal... he will be calling he cant help it- not the way i cook

Alzheimer's? what me? NO just too many toyboys I write to , so u are just one of dozens..so must have given u my cut & paste version that I do in bulk mail..
Sharing trade secrets -hmm ..I now realise I could charge for info..so will think of it as a potential enterprise.
So u have a long list of nicknames I gather..now u could add 'CSP' to your list..Cyber Serial Philanderer...your wife should be proud of you.

Ah yes. The One! I call her something else but it's just between her and I.

What a love I have for her. She was on the back of my bike over the weekend. Her champagne colored hair wavering in the breeze. But suddenly, I spied a Britney look a like and oops! Where's Kell? I tossed her to the curb and Brit hopped on.


That's love.

Where's Kell? Hope she has no head injury.

I've been to many NY Delis- Never saw any of those bagels.....:) Do you spread a little cream cheese on them?

Skip the card game.

Who is Kelli?

Bonnie,

Do you have Alzheimer's? Of course I'm aware of the sexual nature of Chinese footbinding. You wrote me tomes about it in emails months ago.

In my case, it has no allure. I'm not interested in f*cking feet no matter how talented they are. But I'm sure you'll tell me what I'm missing.

If you want to start an Educating Ed thread and teach me the lesser known sexual secrets of your culture I'm always eager to learn. I'm sure many others would appreciate it too.

ED- COPIED THIS FROM THE JAMU PAGE FOR YOUR PERUSAL ,LOL...



Macho Man

Composition (1 sachet 10 gram)


Zinc beris Rhizoma 15%
Euricoma Longfolia 15%
Piperis Nigri Fructus 25%
Ginseng Powder 15%
Others up to 100%


Macho Man-Top Instant- effectively increases vitality, energy and potency.

This modern Jamu has been researched by the Health Department Laboratories and indicated as a treatment for:

Decreased libido
Premature ej*aculation
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Backaches and rheumatics.

In addition provides longer lasting and more enjoyable sex, attains a longer-lasting erection and raises testosterone and sp*erm production.


Usage: 1 sachet mixed with warm or hot water, 1 hour before starting sexual activities.
For long-term results: 2 times per day 1 sachet preferably after a meal.
To reduce the bitter taste, add some honey, sugar and lemon.

ED: Do you think it's because it spends a lot of time on the ero*tic pleasures derived from foot-binding - which few Westerners will appreciate?
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Perhaps you may or not be aware that chinese 'foot-binding' has sexual connotations, the Chinese women's delicate '4 inch' lotus feet replaced her flat chest as ero*tic features ..
in the ancient days, when a woman has PMS or her period, the bound-feet where the cleft is found between the deep arch of the foot contorted by the binding, was used as the alternative female genital for stimulating the male ..so foot fetish was started in China!
you sure need alot of educating..
shall I start a thread 'Educating Ed'??

ED- Ching Ping Mei , its title already has been misconstrued and misinterpreted by various translators..Golden Lotus PLum is a direct literal translation, Golden Vase Plum is even more literal..Ching -gold, Ping-vase, Mei-Plum..but in its symbolical meaning it conjures up secret pleasures and sensuality hidden in a magic vase ..as one thinks of Genie in a bottle ..with stores of ero*tic pleasure., Gold being a precious metal that is hidden , Plum is a delicacy eaten in various ways from fresh (in Spring)to pickled (in winter) and has connotations of sensuous oral pleasure.
It may have been written as one of the first real po*rnographic novel -the lowest form of literary genre . I have been approached by publishers to do a better translation of the work but never found the time..might do it for my Phd..lol
tho written in the Ming dynasty (the most prolific in the development of literary and artistic interests) it made vast references to earlier works and legends of sexual pleasures..it is the vast terms of references to earlier literary works and cultural symbols that are often lost on the western translators..and hence become dull for the uninitiated. To understand its symbolical references you need to do about 20 years of hard learning classical language! Egerton's version is probably closest to the original works and comes in several vols. Roy's by Princeton Press is the version the American literature undergrad use for a superficial understanding of the classic piece..

Anyway for a 'quickie' and shallow thrill of the vast legendary piece, I suggest u go buy one of those HK- made cheap flick CD version of the book, suggest the ones made in the 60s by the director Li Han Hsiang, well known for his portrayal of early day Chinese po*rnographic works.You might be hooked on them..lol
So I remain your 'Midnight mistress' educating you on the finer aspects of classical p*rn...maybe like 5W I need to start charging 2%..

"us"?? I don't think being transexual qualifies you to say "us".

And I don't have a hamster dic - it's more like a vole.

But I agree about the bo*obs. Please keep showing them!

ed ed please dont speak of the female anatomy as if u know it better then us .. first off admit it- u havent seen it in years in real life - and lord knows if it wasnt for the bo*ob*we show ya well u wouldnt be seeing them either.. now u just cut it out on giving us women advice on what sorta exercise we need ok.. concentrate on that hamster dic* that we discussed and leave the bagel exercises to us women

geesh

Hey Bonnie,

You did pique my interest with Ching Ping Mei's Golden Lotus Plum which I hadn't read. So I looked into it. Unfortunately, the most citations I could find on it use a different name variant for name and title, e.g.,
Ch'in P'ing Mei's "Golden Lotus, or Plum in the Golden Vase". Can you confirm the Chinese title "Hsiao-hsiao Sheng"?

According to the source I found, there is, as yet, no good complete English translation of the ero*tic passages. Supposedly David Tod Roy is working on a new translation to be published in 5 vols by Princeton Univ. Press under the title "Plum in the Golden Vase". So far, 1 volume is available, covering 20 of the novel's 100 chapters. An older, complete translation was made by Egerton but renders ero*tic passages into Latin. Are you aware of another good English translation? Otherwise, why has this work has not achieved as widespread disemination as Kama Sutra? Do you think it's because it spends a lot of time on the ero*tic pleasures derived from foot-binding - which few Westerners will appreciate?

Also, you are incorrect about it predating the Kama Sutra (ca. 200 BC) as it was written in the 16th Century. I have read translated passages from ero*tic Chinese literature that predate Kama Sutra but I don't remember the titles. I also found them quite boring - but it could have been due to bad translations. So often Chinese Classics seem to be translated by Western prudes who seem condescending to Chinese culture. That is unfortunate because I know it has much to offer (my father grew up there and imparted his love for the culture on...

Oh brother! The one who complains about digging up old posts. Suzan and I will be playing Hold'em in Columbus.

That's BS Bonnie. Kegelling strengthens a sphincter muscle at the vag*inal opening which is part of a series of sphincter muscles known as the pubococcygeus. Exercising that muscle is also recommended for incontinence. Read "Pathways to Pleasure: A Woman's Guide to Orgasm" by Dr. R. W. Birch or "The Love Muscle" by Bryce Britton if you don't believe me. Or don't you read anything about sex newer than 2000 years old?
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I have read in Chinese 'Ching Ping Mei' and also all your recommended readings (so I like to think that I have covered as much book knowledge as you profess to have in just one language)..but 'sphincter muscles' in most of the medical books refer specifically to those around the an*us or rectum..as you yourself rightly referred to those around the vagi*na as 'pubococcygeus'..they maybe the same group but in terms of specific reference they are different in that they are located in different parts of the anatomy and as a lawyer we deal with specifics.

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LOL, yes Bonnie. But I see you do a lot more posting than me. There are more boytoys and lonely married men out there starving for your "help".
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Ed, you may have forgotten that I was one of your midnight 'mistress' that you stayed up to compose reams of mail to me a long time ago and your wife is well aware of my presence as 'the other woman' in your life ! And it was YOU who recommended that I tune into the Forum!! Have you suffered from amnesia or perhaps you have been spending too much time mailing hundreds of other mysterious mistresses after ME...lol
WEll YOU ARE THE MARRIED MAN i AM LEGITIMATELY SINGLE AND THEREFORE entitled to as many toy boys!



It's about quality, not quantity babe!
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Quantity begets quality control!

That's BS Bonnie. Kegelling strengthens a sphincter muscle at the vaginal opening which is part of a series of sphincter muscles known as the pubococcygeus. Exercising that muscle is also recommended for incontinence. Read "Pathways to Pleasure: A Woman's Guide to Orgasm" by Dr. R. W. Birch or "The Love Muscle" by Bryce Britton if you don't believe me. Or don't you read anything about sex newer than 2000 years old?


LOL, yes Bonnie. But I see you do a lot more posting than me. There are more boytoys and lonely married men out there starving for your "help".



It's about quality, not quantity babe!

Hmmm, let me guess.... Chewing gum?



Have heard of it, but if Maayan would like to elaborate, swell. Listening to somebody with first hand experience is always good.



OK, but if they require sticking needles in my genitals or stuffing chicken heads in my azz while chanting standing on my head I'm not interested.

CONTINUED BELOW

Uh Oh!! What are you ladies doing to Sharp? Next thing we know she's gonna be changing her user name to KamaSharp1!