are any posts for interracial relationships? Interracial Relationship

  • View author's info posted on May 04, 2005 12:45


    Bonnie: Ingenue, Beware of www.. he has just been let loose from the ward for mentally unstable..check his new topic on personality/mental disorder,suspect he is displaying some of his symptoms here..claiming paternal rights to you!
    _________________
    I wasn't claiming paternal right. I was going to marry her. What I was displaying was narcissism. Good deal for me, not a good deal for her nor much concern for her and her happinesss. Bonnie, you caught me again. I am going to have to hustle on another thread now.
    lol

    wwwww
  • View author's info posted on May 04, 2005 03:49


    If you work around or have to deal with a lot of low class people from any race, you have a tendency to think all people of that race are low class.
    _____________________________________

    www. I think you are using a politically incorrect term there 'low class'- you are in danger of being criticised for stratifying your own society by that classfication, whether by education or economic means..maybe the term 'underprivileged or deprived' who have not had the benefit of education and a wider exposure to understand the damaging effects of prejudice and tyepcasting..is a better teminology.
    There is also the feeling of difference, we call anthropologically, the 'Other'..when we feel we are not part of the main norm circle, but displaced on the margin..the marginalised and the displaced 'Other'..whether by racial, cultural or economic classification..we feel we are being marginalised..
    Living in the margin has its own advantage, we never need to feel we have to belong, we are able to have a bird's eye aerial view of the whole picture without being involved in the huge furore..the armchair critic/ spectator having his last laugh..that is a privileged position to be in..I often choose to be tucked in the margin observing this convoluted world.
  • View author's info posted on May 04, 2005 02:14


    Ingenue,
    Beware of www.. he has just been let loose from the ward for mentally unstable..check his new topic on personality/mental disorder,suspect he is displaying some of his symptoms here..claiming paternal rights to you!

    www. well I see my polygamous lectures are having effect on you..not in a million years would I want to marry and boss a hardened misogynist and potential polygamist...I prefer being your agent and RP..already that is proving hard to be..need to get my whip out soon!
  • View author's info posted on May 04, 2005 00:47


    "Why limit your life experiences based on skin color or cultural prejudices"

    I don't like prejudice people, although at times I can see how people become that way. If you work around or have to deal with a lot of low class people from any race, you have a tendency to think all people of that race are low class. Of course it is not true, but I think that is how it all begins.

    I was fortunate to work with talented people of all races for many years, and all were wonderful people. Same for the people I attended college with. I suppose because I was never around any really low class people for years is why I have never been a racist. Recently, I have become a racist -- a bunch of white trash that have worked for me. Totally useless.

    I would like to pass on one tip when dealing with people who like racist jokes. Whatever race they are running down, I always tell them "Did you know that my daughers are 1/2 ______(whoever they are targeting the jokes against).
    You would be suprised at their reactions and how quickly the jokes stop.

    Now, to prove I am sincere, Ingenue, can you be here by tomorrow? Since you are so young, I may have to tell everyone you are my daughter, but we will know better.

    Bonnie, I might go for you also (two wives), but I figure you would boss me around too much.
    lol


    wwwww
  • View author's info posted on May 01, 2005 00:23



    champagnepowder write:
    I think people just need to expand their horizons a bit. Why limit your life experiences based on skin color or cultural prejudices??

    ----------------------------------------Welcome aboard ..you are definitely right..whatever our color , coursing under our skin we all have the same color..the color of blood is red..
    When our life is at stake and we need blood, do we ever ask whether it comes from a black , yellow or white man/woman?
  • View author's info posted on Apr 30, 2005 02:17


    So CUB drop Beachdreams4two a note..you are the only token white male here and you have such a wide choice already...strike when the iron is hot before the rest of the men find out ..lol
  • View author's info posted on Apr 29, 2005 12:27



    Ingenue4you write:
    Cub:

    First of all, why would you never consider an interracial relationship? Is it because of the stigma attached or because of what your family would think and has ingrained in you (at least at a subconscious level)?

    Bonnie:

    I grew up in a single parent home, and alas only met/lived with one culture. As far as being mixed-race, I'm more mixed-culture. My father was Haitian and white, but I suppose Haitian since he was born over there. My mom was black. I was born in America. I grew up with my mother's family, esp since my father's was in Haiti.

    I identify primarly with African-Americans.

    Although even from my features, I've had a hard time with people trying to figure me out. I'm the only curly-headed person in the family and most people think I'm Indian, lol.

    It seems that people automatically try to classify you, label you, put you in a box. And if people are so close-minded that they wouldn't give me a chance because of their parents, that's really really sad. They're missing out.

    Chrissy:

    I am SO sorry that men ignore you because of your bi-racial children. You deserve better than that. White men who are afraid of you or feel intimidated by you because you have been with black men don't deserve the pleasure of your company, or your children's. Men, ALL men, should EMBRACE diversity and your open-mind and open heart should be looked upon as an ASSET to any relationship.

    P.S. You said you had a 25 year old. Is he single? LOL.

    Thanks ingenue, all I hope is that one day, maybe not in our lifetime, color won't even be an issue. You are absolutely beautiful (are you a model?) you should be!! and yes my son is single (at least not married!) and he is GORGEOUS!!! lol
  • View author's info posted on Apr 29, 2005 12:19



    Cub39 write:

    crissydoll write:
    I don't have a preference for skin color like some woman do but what people don't understand is once you have biracial children, mine are 25yrs,17yrs and 7yrs, not too many white men approach me. Which is very sad. I would like to possibly remarry again and it wouldn't matter what race the man was


    I believe it is easy for the white men to put you in a box or category that you have been "lost" to the other side and like black men. And the black men are much more likely to take notice of you because you have already been that route so they can assume you are a white gal who likes black men.
    Question becomes, how do you signal back to the white men that they are Ok also? How do destroy the concept of "once you go black, you never go back"? Maybe you have to approach the white man you are interested in to make it known?? Food for thought from a white guy.

    This is really interesting I must say! Although I was engaged to a great white man, I really never talked to him about this. Thanks Cub for your input and I never thought of that, your absolutely right! I guess if I saw a white man with children of another race I would assume he wouldn't be interested in ME. I may just try your advice and see how it works. I'll let you know!!
  • View author's info posted on Apr 29, 2005 10:39


    CUB..never too late to try..I am used to being stared at all the time..esp when with our kids, I have had total strangers in London, Greece and Japan stopping us to take pics of us..it is inevitable that we are a curious novelty .but you get used to that after a while.. what is really nice you will find is how you would be accepted by the 'other' group of friends..your interraction with the 'other' is an open invitation to lots more parties and you will soon be comfortable and forget what color you are..I now often find myself the only Oriental in all White parties and am thoroughly comfortable and people around me too forget..in fact because i am the only one in the crowd that is different, they remember me evertime I turn up at some other party..so try it, there is always the first time , and you will be pleasantly surprised..
  • View author's info posted on Apr 29, 2005 10:01


    Marrying across cultures and races take a lot of courage..I too had to bear the brunt of lots of prejudices from within the family and friends ..in fact I took an hour off work to go to the Registry of Marriage, checked back to work and then went home to break the news to an irate family..followed by a surprise wedding organised by work friends , that was our wedding present ..and did not have a wedding ring throughout our marriage..but it lasted..love is not about pomp and grandeur ..it is about two hearts willing to strive for each other through all scenario..esp harder when you have to adopt a different culture and in my case different countries throughout our marriage..
    Prejudices and stigmas are just stumbling blocks which will test that love..I have learnt to deal with them with lots of humour and even taken advantage of it..you will also learn thru that hurdle who your real friends are. Education is the only way to change that sort of prejudices..my parents are now converts, they love my late husband..
    Peel of all color of skin and you only find red blood..when you are ill and need blood transfusion do you ever ask if the blood you receive is from a white man or black or yellow man? All you know is whoever it is from it will save your life...
  • View author's info posted on Apr 29, 2005 09:40


    Cub:

    First of all, why would you never consider an interracial relationship? Is it because of the stigma attached or because of what your family would think and has ingrained in you (at least at a subconscious level)?

    Bonnie:

    I grew up in a single parent home, and alas only met/lived with one culture. As far as being mixed-race, I'm more mixed-culture. My father was Haitian and white, but I suppose Haitian since he was born over there. My mom was black. I was born in America. I grew up with my mother's family, esp since my father's was in Haiti.

    I identify primarly with African-Americans.

    Although even from my features, I've had a hard time with people trying to figure me out. I'm the only curly-headed person in the family and most people think I'm Indian, lol.

    It seems that people automatically try to classify you, label you, put you in a box. And if people are so close-minded that they wouldn't give me a chance because of their parents, that's really really sad. They're missing out.

    Chrissy:

    I am SO sorry that men ignore you because of your bi-racial children. You deserve better than that. White men who are afraid of you or feel intimidated by you because you have been with black men don't deserve the pleasure of your company, or your children's. Men, ALL men, should EMBRACE diversity and your open-mind and open heart should be looked upon as an ASSET to any relationship.

    P.S. You said you had a 25 year old. Is he single? LOL.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 29, 2005 08:27


    I have been in two interracial marriages. First one he cheated and second marriage was for his green card (which i didn't know till after). I have always been mistreated by black men but that won't stop me from giving someone a chance. I was engaged to a white man in 1993 and he treated me like a queen, only problem was he couldn't deal with my then 5yr old son since he is biracial and didn't want mommy and daddy to find out as they would cut him off financially. So being, I broke it off. I don't have a preference for skin color like some woman do but what people don't understand is once you have biracial children, mine are 25yrs,17yrs and 7yrs, not too many white men approach me. Which is very sad. I would like to possibly remarry again and it wouldn't matter what race the man was as long as i'm happy and he doesn't mistreat me or my children. As far as people saying things, that's always gonna be the case regardless and personally I couln't care less what people say or think about me. The only thing I care about is my children and they have never had any problems and c'mon people this is 2005, life is too short, peel off skin and everybody is the same!! lol
  • View author's info posted on Apr 29, 2005 00:49


    Ingenue,
    INterracial marriages, Im sure for your parents too..(since I believe you are the product of two cultures yourself) is the way forward to a more enlightened world..My inter-racial marriage has opened a whole new frontier for me..in terms of a wider multi-racial network of friends, relocating to different cultures, tolerance of the differences and appreciation of the similarities in our views and attitude..which we need to practise everyday..and that itself is the timeless test of love.
    I think a sense of humor will serve well thru a inter-racial union..and I have bags of tales of prejudices to tell..and have learnt to see the funny side of this disease that inflict all of us..
    but when I see my beautiful fascinating children,the product of two cultures and races..I know this wonderful genetic modification is one I could embrace and love forever..just like you are the living product of such a lovely union..and you begin to see the wonder of that miracle..
  • View author's info posted on Apr 28, 2005 23:44


    Personally I am attracted to men of different races.

    But I can't help but wonder how their parents would react. I try not to let previous experiences color my interactions (pun intended), but it's always in the back of my mind.

    Is this wrong?

    I wish some men would post!

    :O)
  • View author's info posted on Apr 28, 2005 14:27


    shreca,
    YOu are quite right, and I ahve lived with lots of prejudices, typecasting in my life..now I am immune to that and have used it to my advantage..the best one is when I am approached by a Filipino maid when I was with my young kids and she asked:'Do you live in or live out?'
    I replied :'I live in and am not paid, most of the time I ahve to sleep with the boss too.'
    So I get passed as the maid when I m with my own kids who are mixed..
  • View author's info posted on Apr 28, 2005 12:37


    Nothing is wrong with different races and color..The problem is the prejudice.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 28, 2005 02:41



    marymay write:
    I think salt and salt is boring! Salt and pepper is good.

    ---------------------

    A diet of potatoes could be boring, try rice for a change..nothing better than a mixed diet..keeps you healthy..
  • View author's info posted on Apr 28, 2005 01:41


    Marymay,
    Has Maldives recovered from the Tsunami disaster? I would love to go there , heard so much about its beauty and unspoilt beaches..I go to Phuket, Bali and Malaysia usually .
  • View author's info posted on Apr 28, 2005 01:39


    Love your views Marymay and girlmech..
    Marymay, tell me are you from a place call 'male' or are you a male and female..very confusing ..

    So tell me girls what are the funniest encounters you get from being out with someone from a different race and color?

    I am often thought as 'the call girl' and was even banned from going to my own hotel room in Bangkok Oriental and my husband had to come and identify me as his wife..not so funny..and most of the time , people think I am my kids' nanny or maid because they had Caucasian colors when they wre young and I am Chinese..one little girl at my son's birthday party asked if I was my son's maid or mum, told her I feel like I am both..
    Typecasting is a disease that affects so many..
  • View author's info posted on Apr 27, 2005 00:12


    welcome Ann to the inter-marriage forum..
    what sort of problems did you encounter if any ,when you met your husband or when you married? Did you have any objections, prejudices, doubts about the relationship?
    Or fears about the kids, or your future together if you should have to relocate to a different country and culture?
    Personally I find that cross racial and cultural marriages enrich our lives in many ways..our circle of friends are multi-racial, our attitudes are more tolerant and we learn that there are more similarities between cultures and races than there are differences..if we start looking for them..
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