Worked hard all my life Family / Marriage Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 27, 2005 at 10:31 PM

    OMG...ya f*cking fools .....try the other side of the fence... LIVE LIKE YOU ARE DYING...seriously...find am less..

    LIFE..that is a nice F*ing four letter word...nasty B*itches...bowwow....yeah bow
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 27, 2005 at 06:27 AM

    I am lucky I guess, I have a few real good friends, and some real good acquaintances. True friends are very rare, and I value every one.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 27, 2005 at 12:31 AM

    Bonnie & Lassie, WOW. I'm so glad you put all that into words. You are both right on, thanks so much. I think Lassie is right, too many think of finding "Mr./Ms. Right" as the ultimate goal of their lives, and it most certainly is not. Real freedom is knowing that you CAN live successfully on your own, that you CAN have a full and rich life wbile single, and that you CAN choose who you want to be in your life. It doesn't mean you still don't want someone......but you have the knowledge that you can take care of yourself if you don't happen to find him/her. To me, that has been so freeing. I'll never be rich, but having that knowledge is a great thing.
    Thanks again for your profound thoughts and also for expressing them so well!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 26, 2005 at 09:05 PM

    I doubt if the average person has 50 friends, certainly not close freinds. I think a person is rich indeed if they have 5 really good and close friends who would do anything for them.

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 26, 2005 at 11:15 AM

    Wonderful to hear from you Bonnie. Thank you also for the compliment and yes I am in the medical profession. I do not write on the forum often yet at times feel compelled to respond to some posts
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 26, 2005 at 01:25 AM

    According to a statistical report done in UK recently, the average man (wonder if it includes woman) has only about 50 friends if he is lucky..and I believe that number is confirmed only when you are dead and someone keeps count at your funeral..
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 25, 2005 at 03:31 PM

    "A well-rounded life includes having a diverse group of relationships with which support and nourish us. "

    I like to illustrate by using simple numbers something like this.

    You get "love points" for relationships, such as:

    1 point for a friend,
    2 points for a good companion,
    3 points for a friend/companion,
    4 points for a intimate lover and more if they are your best friend and good companion or mate.

    sex with a stranger-- 0 points.
    15 friends = 15 points.
    5 friend/companions= 15 points

    You would be suprised how many "love" points you can share with friends and family without having a mate.

    Now if I just had about 5 lovers I could fly to the moon ....... just kidding.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 25, 2005 at 02:28 PM

    Weelassy - are you in the medical profession ? Love your well thought advice and sensible take on being single..where most people see it as 'transient' and women see themselves as 'ladies in waiting' ..always waiting for the first date, their first kiss, their first love..their Prince Charming to come along ..their first baby..and putting their life on hold even after marriage to hear more from you..
    Mel..I think it is always great to hear a man's view on this issue, it has so much more gravitas..a bit like hearing from the horse's mouth..
    like your description of Mr.Right lost without GPS..he should be able to find his way faster than with the old style compass..I hope..:)
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 24, 2005 at 07:14 PM


    Take your time and enjoy life. What matters most is your happiness. This may or may not include a mate at the current time.

    In times like this all you can do is your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstaces, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

    Mr. Right will come. He may be a little lost right now. Maybe he just purchased a GPS so he can find you.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 24, 2005 at 06:05 PM

    we recharge our batteries by making time to retreat and be by ourselves. As in the rest of life, finding the balance that works for each of us as individuals is the key.

    You are short-changing yourself if you are so focused on finding a boyfriend that you neglect cultivating friendships. A well-rounded life includes having a diverse group of relationships with which support and nourish us. Even if you find a partner in life, it is usually neither healthy nor possible to get all of your social needs met by one person. Friends are the fabric of which life is made.

    Even if you have a host of friends, if you find yourself using them to avoid facing the fact that you feel incomplete when you are by yourself, you have some work to do. An important a part of happiness is the ability to enjoy your own company. What do you do when you are by yourself? Can you enjoy a book or doing something like going to the movies by yourself? Or do you find that you are never alone, or that you are bored and restless when you are by yourself?

    We cultivate a happy, meaningful life like we cultivate a garden. Your life is important; take time to nourish yourself and enjoy life, whether you are single, dating or in a long-term relationship.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 24, 2005 at 06:03 PM

    Have you ever noticed how many assumptions we make about relationships and singleness? One of the biggest is that being single is a temporary state and therefore not that important. You'll only be single until you meet the right man. We tend to think of being single as a transitional time. For some of us that is true; for others, singleness is a long-term way of life. Either way, many of us will spend at least a large part of our lives single.

    Thinking of singleness as transitory means that it is easy to spend more time looking for or anticipating our next relationship rather than cultivating life right now. Some people defer plans; they will buy a house, or start saving for retirement, or plan that trip when they meet Mr. Right. Or worse: they have no life goal other than to find a mate! Being single seems too transient to take seriously. But months turn to years; we look back and realize we've been deferring plans and missing out in the process.

    This life is not "practice," single or not. It makes no sense to believe you must defer your happiness until you are part of a relationship. Relationships seem to work best with people who are already happy.

    Being happy means getting your important needs met. These needs include desires for intimacy, friendship and connection with others. Are there friends you can rely on when you need a helping hand? Men or women with whom you can share the joys or sorrows that are part of the fabric of every life? What about someone you can tell your innermost thoughts to and feel accepted and acknowledged? (Someone once defined a true friend as "someone who knows you as you truly are?and who likes you anyway.")

    Some of us are extroverts by nature. We relish the company of friends, and we are always out doing things with them. We feel energized by being around others. Others of us are introverts. We find that being around other people can be tiring; we recharge our batteries by mak...
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 24, 2005 at 10:14 AM


    You are totally right !!
    Great message here.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 24, 2005 at 04:01 AM

    Don't place all your hopes on men..
    Women who learn to be independent also learn pride, confidence and self-esteem..and men too admire that in least men who are not losers or feel intimidated by successful women.
    Education is one of the most powerful source for women to gain that respect and self-confidence..and it is an achievable goal for long as you find something you enjoy learning and learn it with a passion..and succeed in it..the rest will take care if me ..I have done it in the toughest of conditions..
    The world is your oyster , all it needs is a little grit..
    good luck
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 11, 2005 at 03:37 PM

    You might but just don't meet one of those swingers and have him try and change you.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 10, 2005 at 07:34 AM

    My Gosh, 3 kids and 2ex husbands.

    You cant be far off from meeting Mr Right. Hope he comes along soon.
Follow - email me when people comment