• View author's info posted on Feb 17, 2005 05:34

    Spoil, I'm not only an emotional mom, I'm also an emotional human being. I don't find it hard to show my emotions, especially when it comes to my love for my daughter. I'm her only parent and doing it alone. It's not very easy, and doing it alone wasn't my choice. Her father made that decision to remove himself from her life.

    If I weren't an emotional mom, I wouldn't be able to give her enough love to compensate for 2 parents instead of 1. If I weren't an emotional mom, my heart wouldn't be big enough to love her, even when she's misbehaving.

    For her, time out works much better than spanking. It hurts her feelings more and is embarrassing to her. Spanking her makes her become more aggressive. That may not be true for another child, but it is true in her case.

    But I understand your concerns when it comes to kids and how they become our future. We parents do the best we know how, and love them all we can. You can never go wrong if you give them all your love and give them your time. What they do once they're grown is up to them. We hope for the best, just like all the parents from generations past did.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 15, 2005 07:19

    (the ending of my post was cut off, so here's the ending)

    Spoils, if you weren't being aggressive in a violent way, I'd just throw you and your clothes out the door and change the locks! LOL. What woman could live under the same roof with you? (Don't get all bent out of shape. Learn to laugh a little and don't take all of this so seriously)
  • View author's info posted on Feb 14, 2005 11:21

    The great debate; to spank or not to spank. Every child is different. What works for one, doesn't always work for another one. Some children are more difficult than others to keep in line and deal with. I can see that Spoils was probably one of those children. I was raised the old way that spanking was the only discipline method there was. It's passed down from generation to generation. We live what we're taught. So when I first heard about 'no spanking' and that spanking was abuse, I laughed. But you know what? When it comes to my daughter, the thing that really upsets her the most is when I put her in time out. Spanking doesn't do a thing, except make her become aggressive(worse tantrum, kicking, etc.) Time out turns her back into the sweet little girl I know and love. After time out, she comes and hugs me and tells me, "I love you mama."

    Sometimes you have to consider WHY children act out in the first place, other than the obvious fact that they're kids. Kids act out for a lot of reasons. Sometimes kids are ignored at home, so they act out to get attention. Sometimes the parents have a crappy marriage, and the child sees and hears fighting in the household, and kids have a way of acting out because of their frustration and insecurities from the parents problems.
    Sometimes, just changing the atmosphere at home can make a difference in a child's behavior. Spanking won't fix it. Sitting them down and communicating with them about what is bothering them, is a sure remedy.

    Spoil, I wonder what would ever make a woman want to hit you in the first place?(I just can't imagine lol) In my book, it would have to be over something pretty serious. Say for instance, you believe in spanking kids and even hitting women. It's obvious from your posts that you have an aggressive nature, especially that mouth of yours. It won't stop. (just a scenerio) If it were me, I'd hit you if I were defending myself against you. But if you weren't being violently aggressi...
  • View author's info posted on Feb 14, 2005 05:47

    Spanking and hitting are both forms of physical force. One may be softer than the other but they both tech violence.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 14, 2005 05:45

    We teach children what we want them to learn by our own actions. Do we want to teach kids to grow up to hit, spank, and be violent? Our society is already filled with so much violence it is sad. I have three children. Although it may have been tempting to spank them when "I" lost my temper, I never spanked them. A baby starts hitting when he/she doesn't get their way. It is a natural reaction to want to do so. I have been teaching for 16 years. The inner city children I teach get spankings way too much. Consequently, when another kid bothers them, they smack them without even thinking. It is a vicious circle. If one knows how to handle children based on psychology or common sense, spanking does not need to occur.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 10, 2005 07:26

    A man who hits kids will hit women too.

    People who hit people smaller than they are belong in jail ... not therapy.
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