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Posted on Wed, Apr 13, 2005 10:39

LAT - it is so strange that women in their late 40s and 50s whom I have met endorse this concept far more readily than men in the same age group. In Japan where I have lived for 6 years, the divorce rate climb for couples in the fifties. The empty nester wives having had years of absent husbands suddenly find themselves with retired husbands occupying their tiny kitchen all day, they are dubbed 'sodai gomi' which means 'big trash bin' because they occupy the space that used to be the bin..or they are also known as 'Wet Autumn Leaves' - ever noticed how one could never get rid of them when you try to sweep them out? Well Japanese women in their 50s feel that way about their retired husbands..
Men in their retirement find loneliness and coping on their own in the domestic front quite daunting while women have always done so brilliantly and the last thing they need is to pick after another men or lay about..so I am not surprised that on this topic I noticed the women are the ones who seem to endorse it...while men could retire from work to go home , wives can't retire from their dependent husbands who become ever more so in their late 50s..and it is no surprise that divorce rates climb in that age group..
LAT works well for that age group..and increasingly women are looking for younger partners to have some long overdue fun with..so the game is now a pretty fair one..esp when the women are also financially independent..toyboys are in fashion..commitment free and irresponsible fun seem to be the domain of the wealthy single mature women these days and I do know several...te new era of the yummy mummy has just begun..



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Posted on Tue, Apr 12, 2005 09:45

LAT, a euphemism for cheating?
I didn't know the importance of a lifetime commitment/marriage until after I had lost it.
GOD willing, I will be given another opportunity.



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Posted on Fri, Mar 04, 2005 13:51

Wow, that is an interesting concept. I've heard many married people (including myself) say they would like to separate from their spouse and go back to just dating them. Lots of people do it, but it doesn't seem to work if there are children involved.

For one thing it would be really unfair to have a relationship which is meant for enjoying just the good times together. Both partners should be able to count on each other for the bad times too. With LAT, when your partner is in a bad mood, it's just too easy to say "Y'know I think I'm just gonna stay home tonight. I'll see ya tomorrow." instead of making the effort to find out what's bothering the oher person and try to help (or just listen).

/saoirse



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Posted on Thu, Feb 24, 2005 21:32

So that's what that's called ........LAT!
My last relationship was like that and it worked well for 5 years. Didn't have to put up with the worst, and got the best.
Only ended cause his worse started affecting everything in his life.......too bad, nice guy.

  


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Posted on Thu, Feb 24, 2005 05:29

Bonnie, I've never specifically heard of the French term 'LAT,' but I did make a topic once called, 'The Perfect Relationship-His & Hers. That's basically what it was about. Married or unmarried, the two involved not living under the same roof. Just spending agreed upon time together, and then going back to their respective homes separately. I never thought I'd feel that way. First time I got married to the love of my life at 19, it was dreams of happily ever after, white picket fence, etc, etc. Now it's, 'I love my own space and don't want to get back into that day to day grind with another man. I figure it won't won't work out anyway. Not if we live in the same house. Trouble always happens when a man and a woman spend that much time together.



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Posted on Wed, Feb 23, 2005 11:16

Ever heard of the French concept of LAT- Living Apart Together..which means you only get together to go on holidays, companionship and fun and frolicking and then you go back to your respective responsibilities and home..that way you only see the best in each other and spare each other of the nitty gritty boring mundane grind...a bit like an affair of the heart with no strings attached...that could be a good proposition for those who are afraid of the full hog of what marriage and LTR entail..a sort of trial system and could well work out long term without the angst of divorce and painful break ups...speciallyrecommended for those who do not want kids and extended families.



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Posted on Mon, Feb 07, 2005 13:15

YrKnightMare, well I kinda got that impression from reading your posts. What do you like to do in your spare time? Don't tell me, let me guess! Screw? lmao! (just kidding around with you, don't take it seriously)

  


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Posted on Thu, Feb 03, 2005 05:57

Saoirse, I think I like the sound of those traditions! lol

  


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Posted on Wed, Feb 02, 2005 15:30

In some pagan traditions, we have what's called "handfasting" instead of marriage. Basically, you commit yourself to a person for "a year and a day." Which is sort of a euphemism for "until we part." Which could be forty years later when one dies, or it could be in a year or two when the two people no longer belong together. I see no reason why having a marriage-type relationship should involve such a heavy thing as a lifetime commitment.

/saoirse