Yes, I said that if "I" wanted love I'd look for it within driving distance. I never said I would settle with someone just because they lived close and out of convenience. I'd never serve that recipe for disaster up for myself. I'm saying that the closer you are, the more you'll be able to pick up on who someone truly is or is not. Seeing someone 2 times per month for a 3/4 day weekend is not truly getting to know someone in my opinion. Being close by allows you to see how he/she truly is and what truly will get on your nerves. For example, some men may clean their house up just before you fly in and/or make you breakfast when you're there. You get married and daily he's a mess and EXPECTS breakfast on the table when he wakes. I have a female friend that married from a long distance relationship say, "I wouldn't have married him had I known this or that." You find out real quick if 2 are meant to be together when the clock is on 24 hours per day, 365 days per year. Long distance works for some; if it works for, then enjoy. Just make sure you're SURE before you go down that aisle. I'd just ask the right questions. But, I do agree, two people must be compatible for any relationship to work whether it be from a far or close by. And 2 people can fall in LOVE who are not compatible but think they are. And we know where that ends up 50% of the time.
Long distance "relationship" are not real relationship, I tried twice but it's a way to lie yourself that you have a relationship. You never know what that other person is really doing, thinking, wwishing etc, you only thing you love and he loves you but all is a lie, you can say you love the person who you think he is, but you can't know is he is really that person or only pretending for that short period you are together. Distance "relationships" are only for weak people who can not have or find a real relationship in real life.
NotFunGuy - You said "If I want love, I'll find it within driving distance. Love should be found close to home. Don't let an emotional feeling encourage you to make a hasty and possibly wrong decision."
What about 'settling' for someone that may not be a perfict fit for you just because they live close to you? It's all about compatibility and connecting....not about convenience. Living next to each other would be ideal, but you can't help who your heart & soul connects with....even if they are a short flight away.
I was in 2 long distance relationships. One lasted 8 months and the other, 2 months. I won't do it again, as I was not only hurt, but disappointed in both. I would much rather find someone, not necessarily locally, but less the 2000 miles away....if possible. IF I start a long distance relationship again, PLEASE, someone just come over and kick my ass!!! LOL
Long distance relationships generally work because they are "long distance". Once close proximity is factored into the equation, the relationship begins to sour. Sort of like when 2 drunks meet; they hit it off great. Once sobriety occurs, personalities clash. Don't expect too much with long distance. It works for few, not for many. Euphoria is a powerful "drug". Don't let it fool you when it comes to making a lasting decision. I hope most people are not on this site to find a lasting love from a far. Close proximity is better for most. I'm on this site because I travel and it's just nice to hang with people in cities that I go too. If I want love, I'll find it within driving distance. Love should be found close to home. Of course, that's my opinion. But for those looking to escape from their upbringing, good luck to you. Just keep in mind that the real test comes when you're truly together 24 hours a day. Anyone can say or write things to melt the heart from many miles away. Don't let an emotional feeling encourage you to make a hasty and possibly wrong decision. Be practical.
Long distance CAN work if you both want it too....I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 months now, and it's been a lot of fun! We met on this site too. :-) We fly back and forth as often as possible, usually a couple of times a month and are planning some vacations where we can spend some uninterrupted quality time together.
As far as the local dating....I too have male friends, that I am honest with about my relationship, that I just hang out with or go to the movies with. I dated locally A LOT before this relationship and not one of them got me thinking about LOVE let alone got me actually saying it! :-) It IS lonely at times not having that person there with you everyday, but it sure makes the time you do spend together all that more sweet! (Plus phone bills get quite large, unless you switch to Vonage ;-)
Being on a national dating site definitely has it's positives and negatives, but before you posted yourself, you should have asked yourself the question on whether you would relocate for love or not. In my case, even though I love it where I live, I would absolutely move for love! My guy is in a state I never would have considered before, but finding the right person can make you consider things you didn't think you would. I didn't join dating sites to just make a bunch of friends or acquaintances. Like someone else in this forum said, I came on here with the hopes of finding my last true love. That's what most people want and need in their lives. Keep your mind open to the possibilities and you may just find that! With this techie age and availability of inexpensive airfare, long distance is very viable! You can find ways around all the obstacles if you 'connect' with someone special. It's really worth it!!
Tomi one of the all time favorites is, on their profile, they have as location anywhere in the US. When they write or you write their question is "How do you propose to see each other 1000 mi. apart. If you have a solution i would like to hear!!!!. Then in the next post you'll get i am really looking for someone close to home????
So then instead of just not writing at all they write and then make that really stupid statement. I usually say that's ok but you might need to correct the distance for your location in your profile as you will be wasting a lot of peoples time.
Now we all know this is a man who really wasn't interested and probably said that out of politeness. But my point is did he want to see if i could type.(well we all no tht anser.:) or did he want to see if i would answer at all? ..OOPS my finger hit the wrong button...again. Damn will i ever get this right!!!!!!
We are all here for one reason or another, but most are here to find their hopefully last love. If that love is 2000 miles away, that's just a 5.5 hour flight. I've had guys from Chicago write and say I was too far away. I live 200 miles south of Chicago. Go figure. To me, that's right around the corner!!!
Micoma granted long distance is hard.But first step there is to find out how each is fixed for moving. If both are adamant, for very good reasons, than the best thing is to stay friends and write occasionally. if you ever end up in each others back yard then go out on the town or whatever. Meeting someone you know will never move to you or you to them for those various reasons is a waste of time and could be emotions. If either one finds at some point and time you can move then depends on how much you really are attracted whether you want to "weather the storm"
When i first heard of the internet dating i was in arizona. Met a lady(beautiful) sitting next to me at the salon. We started talking and she told me she had met her husband on there. She,from AZ , he from NY. Dated for a yr. I presume airfare back and forth frequently. After that yr. they got married and he move himself and his business to AZ. When she showed me a picture i was floored. He was gorgeous.Made a great looking couple. So if you find you are very attracted to someone and there is the possiblity of living in the same place then it can work. Otherwise both of you are wasting your time and emotions. I have met 5 couples who met that way and are married.
So Micoma is can work if both really want it too....:)
I had someone put it to me this way: Did your last "local" relationship work out?
Of course not - which is why we are all here.
So...why not try something different? What do you possibly have to lose?
And Laina is absolutely correct - if you click with someone you'll find a way to make it work no matter how far apart you live.
Well, If i were "dating" someone locally, i wouldn't be on this website...an occasional lunch or dinner isn't considered "dating", in my opinion.....Im thinking if ya find someone long distance...you meet...fall inlove....if she rocks your world..you'll move Heaven and Earth to be with her....its just as simple as that....