Anyone notice how long distance can sometimes equate to short sightedness? Please, anyone who is involved in a LDR, even with the advanced technological advantages, make sure you act like they are next door or even in your own home.
Keep those communication lines open, it's the only way it is going to work. Although we miss our partner terribly when not together, enjoy the "time" you do have together by frequently using the technology available to converse. Don't make them worry about you for some reason that could have been avoided. Make the effort.
The above is what I have learned. The above is what I will avoid at all costs. Communication in all it's forms is so important.
I've been reading the forums for a few days. You stand out. Believe me, if you ever got away from the cold eastern wind and blew into chinook country, you'd not only melt hearts, but probably find the man of your dreams.
Good post, katiegirl... haha... "I don't hear the voices anymore"... lol
Well I'm still in a debate with me, myself, I and MOI, about LDR's. True my daughters are ready to leave soon too. True, I can do my job anywhere. I think "MOI" is going to win the debate as far as relocating, but I think I would stick to the East Coast.
BUT I'm getting there in the reasoning part... aren't I???? Aren't you guys proud of me???
long distance will work ,but u have to be in love, determined, committed & patient...keeping the lines of communication open at all times too.people forget when they get on these sites that not always easy for other person to make the move cuz of job or family.so if u cant make a move always let that person know u are searching with-in ur area & ask questions of would they would ever move if they were attracted to someone. it's a give & take situation & isnt easy but i have seen it done. anything or anybody worth having is worth the extra effort. after all...love knows no boundries!
My ex lived 80 miles from me in a little hick town on the Trans Canada Highway. He moved to Ottawa to attend college with his brother. He was (and remains) 6' 8" and he had all these plans when we met and married, but five years later, my mother-in-law talked him into moving back to his home town .... with everything but me.
Okay, bad example of a good long distance relationship.....
Talking back and forth on the Internet is great. You can get to know anybody, no matter where they live on the planet and it's usually enough to just chat with new friends until you start to become fond of a cyber-buddy.
The key component in a romance that spans great distances is ... somebody's going to have to move!
In my case .... I am very portable. I'm a perfect candidate for a rendez-vous with someone living far away. One of the reasons I joined MM is because I wanted to meet men who could afford to fly out and visit me some day and not have to mortgage their home to get the money! Ultimately though, as I don't OWN my own home, I assume I would have the least to lose relocating to a strange town. I'm resigned to the task, willingly. (As long as you don't live in Amityville).
Good news is ... there are many foxy women on this Forum who are willing to pull up stakes and set their sites on the horizon, to move where their man lives.... good news for the remote location men, that is!
I'm single, with a child all grown up, not tied to where I live, free of std's and virtually drug-free and I don't even hear the voices as much anymore ... oh, shut up! ... NO! You shut up! ....... HEY! .... Knock it off!! .....
ahem ..... sorry about that.
So, I assume this raises my value?
(well, except for the voices...)
1HotMama write: I disagree DaBoss.....I too have roots, but the fact is that ever-lasting love is the goal of most people. To love and be loved in return. I would move for my long distance relationship, when the time was right and despite the distance we spend a considerable amount of time together. I have a mortgage, but homes can be sold. I have family, but I left them in California almost 6 years ago. I have friends, but I wouldn't give love up for them. I have my own business, so it would go where I did, and I can do it anywhere. I have kids, but they are happy as long as I am.
Too many people at an age like yours is set in their ways...I am not. I am a very flexible person and still young enough. Relocation is just geography when you find that person that connects with your heart. I am not about to pass that person up just because of some distance.
Like you 1HM I have family living in Manitoba, I left there 27 yrs ago. (Whew! talk about dating myself! lol) I love my kids, but my son goes off to University this Fall, and next Fall my daughter leaves for school too. I plan to sell my business next year, because I don't want to be tied down. I have a house, and I'll keep it so that when my kids visit they have somewhere to stay. I'm thinking of renting a condo in Ft Lauderdale for a few months during the Winter. I have a friend who lives there. I am not set in my ways. And I'm not tied to this locale. It I met someone at a distance, they'd have to accept for the next 1.5 yrs it would be visits, but maybe extended visits not just a weekend here and there. Longer visits really give you a chance to get to know a person more indepth. Like does he squeeze the toothpaste from the top or the bottom, and then leave the cap off so it dries out! lol
It takes commitment from both parties. Each person must trust and be trustworthy. With that, then an LDR can work. bbd is correct, most will fall apart. I think m...
Ive seen many Long Distance Relationships work....The Key is..."To be totally InLove with each other and someone you can't live without"...If you are, then distance is just a Geographical problem that is fixable. The Perfect situation is to find someone in your area, but im not ignorant enough to think that my Soulmate...the man that Im meant to be with for all of my life...is just in my own backyard, He could be anywhere....which is why im on this website.....
Everyone has their own personal reasons for being on a Dating Website....some are here because they travel an just want someone to sleep with...some are on here to make friends...an some are on here to find their one True Love....and i think less are on here for the latter reason.....which in my case SUXX...LOL....In My Opinion...hehe....Have a Wonderful Day!!
katiegirl and 1hotmama....Well said...:)
I have no family here and both my kids far away...1 on the east coast, 1 on the west coast. If I should ever find the man of my dreams, you bet I would pack up and move. To me, NOT doing that would be passing up a fantastic opportunity. I can work anywhere with ease, so relocation is definitely on option.... Not only that...the agency I work from has offices all over the US, so now all I have to do is find that man!!! LOL
I met a guy who lives on the coast. I'm crazy about him and he came to my city to visit me once. That's when I found out he was married. He's everything I've ever wanted in a man, - handsome, caring, protective, gives delicious hugs, is financially stable and has a solid job. But I can't have him. When he goes back home, not only is it far away from me, and hurts to be apart from him, but even if I moved to be closer to him... I'd screw things up for him with his wife. So ... I had to get over him. I'm still looking.
As to whether I would move or not ... my sisters live in different cities from me, my daughter is going to college in a different city soon, and I work freelance. There's NOTHING holding me here, in fact, this town owes me nothing and I deserve to try some place new. So, if any man is interested ... and if we hit it off ... I'd consider moving to be with him. (If there are palm trees and warm breezes in his neighbourhood!)
Committed long-distance relationship, with exclusivity? No way that can work. If you really BURN for someone then you're miserable when you're apart. And relocation? Most people, when they reach a certain age, have roots, with family, friends, job, mortgage, and their own local infrastructure. And the people who don't have those roots, and who will relocate in a heartbeat? Be cautious about them, they may have a hidden agenda. So that brings you back to local dating, and if your local pool is extremely small...I guess that's just life.
Yes, I said that if "I" wanted love I'd look for it within driving distance. I never said I would settle with someone just because they lived close and out of convenience. I'd never serve that recipe for disaster up for myself. I'm saying that the closer you are, the more you'll be able to pick up on who someone truly is or is not. Seeing someone 2 times per month for a 3/4 day weekend is not truly getting to know someone in my opinion. Being close by allows you to see how he/she truly is and what truly will get on your nerves. For example, some men may clean their house up just before you fly in and/or make you breakfast when you're there. You get married and daily he's a mess and EXPECTS breakfast on the table when he wakes. I have a female friend that married from a long distance relationship say, "I wouldn't have married him had I known this or that." You find out real quick if 2 are meant to be together when the clock is on 24 hours per day, 365 days per year. Long distance works for some; if it works for, then enjoy. Just make sure you're SURE before you go down that aisle. I'd just ask the right questions. But, I do agree, two people must be compatible for any relationship to work whether it be from a far or close by. And 2 people can fall in LOVE who are not compatible but think they are. And we know where that ends up 50% of the time.
Long distance "relationship" are not real relationship, I tried twice but it's a way to lie yourself that you have a relationship. You never know what that other person is really doing, thinking, wwishing etc, you only thing you love and he loves you but all is a lie, you can say you love the person who you think he is, but you can't know is he is really that person or only pretending for that short period you are together. Distance "relationships" are only for weak people who can not have or find a real relationship in real life.
I was in 2 long distance relationships. One lasted 8 months and the other, 2 months. I won't do it again, as I was not only hurt, but disappointed in both. I would much rather find someone, not necessarily locally, but less the 2000 miles away....if possible. IF I start a long distance relationship again, PLEASE, someone just come over and kick my ass!!! LOL
Long distance relationships generally work because they are "long distance". Once close proximity is factored into the equation, the relationship begins to sour. Sort of like when 2 drunks meet; they hit it off great. Once sobriety occurs, personalities clash. Don't expect too much with long distance. It works for few, not for many. Euphoria is a powerful "drug". Don't let it fool you when it comes to making a lasting decision. I hope most people are not on this site to find a lasting love from a far. Close proximity is better for most. I'm on this site because I travel and it's just nice to hang with people in cities that I go too. If I want love, I'll find it within driving distance. Love should be found close to home. Of course, that's my opinion. But for those looking to escape from their upbringing, good luck to you. Just keep in mind that the real test comes when you're truly together 24 hours a day. Anyone can say or write things to melt the heart from many miles away. Don't let an emotional feeling encourage you to make a hasty and possibly wrong decision. Be practical.
Tomi one of the all time favorites is, on their profile, they have as location anywhere in the US. When they write or you write their question is "How do you propose to see each other 1000 mi. apart. If you have a solution i would like to hear!!!!. Then in the next post you'll get i am really looking for someone close to home????
So then instead of just not writing at all they write and then make that really stupid statement. I usually say that's ok but you might need to correct the distance for your location in your profile as you will be wasting a lot of peoples time.
Now we all know this is a man who really wasn't interested and probably said that out of politeness. But my point is did he want to see if i could type.(well we all no tht anser.:) or did he want to see if i would answer at all? ..OOPS my finger hit the wrong button...again. Damn will i ever get this right!!!!!!