And all you need is a good man to fill the position of husband? Do you seriously think there are men looking for the job of husband?
The only good reason for wanting to get married is that you have met the one. I understand you crave a vision that you have about how things will be when married. That's ot a selling point, it applies to pretty much every woman, keep it to yourself.
You are getting ahead of yourself. First you need to meet a man, then get to know him, then fall in love, decide he is your one and only and want to begin life forever with him, and only then is marriage a good thing.
So, stick with step 1. Meeting a man. You'll scare him off if you reveal your agenda. Concentrate on what kind of man you want to meet and why that kind of man will want you vs. other women.
We are lucky to be able to be mums..alot of the women out there are pining to have babies and have not found the sp*rm donor yet..and their bio clock is running out..
So enjoy motherhood as long as we could and look forward to the grand-kids...
I know you are marriage-minded, but Cupid needs time to aim at moving targets, and sometimes it is better to be on your own for a while , you are a tough independent lady who could cope with 3 jobs..I admire that..it should get easier once your kids are older..
being independent and single has its advantages too, you don't need to consult and you are free to make your own decisions..concentrate on your jobs and take on whatever advance training they may offer you..or if you find you have time, take on new evening /weekend courses to improve yourself, you never know you might find interesting men in a different learning environment..I know how you feel in your lonely moments but solitude is a good time to focus on yourself and loving yourself as a person. Mothers tend to give too much of ourselves, give a little more to yourself..and you will be much happier , it shines through and men see it too..take care.
angelpassion write: Thank you wwww. As, a single mother raising 2 boys of almost different decades lol. 13 and 5, I am just trying to do the best I can.
Angel..you put me to shame, u are a far braver and better mum than I am..I tend to leave them to someone else..like boarding schools and nannies..and was a very reluctant mum..took me years to come to terms with that and did give up my career to try to be a mum..but must confess I did not think I did such a good job ..but found that it is far harder than my legal job..you have to be on 24 hour call and it is bloody thankless..but at the end I guess I decided to do it because I could not possibly see the sense of leaving the two most precious things in my life, my home and my kids to total strangers to mess with them..but I had to send them to boarding school at 9 and 12 due to the fact that the good private day schools around London were full..where they did learn independence and to appreciate home..
You are doing fine..but make sure you save some time for yourself , you deserve time out because it is such a tough job, a happy mum is a loving mum..The job of mothering do not get the credit and recognition it so desperately deserves..the new women in this century who have fought for their equality in every sphere will now have to rethink as Betty Friedan (the feminist leader of the 60s) so eloquently put it ..'NOw that they have won the equal rights war, women today should learn to respect one another for their choices whether to stay home or to carve a career or to try to play superwoman doing both..' Took a full circle for women to realise that..I became a happier born again mum when I was in Japan where women's role as mother has more recognition and respect.. Carry on the good job and you will be well rewarded in time..corporations are faceless and they will not remember you even if you did a great job but your kids will live to remember you ...
..so I m dealing with a wheeler dealer teen..will be visiting him in prison some day instead of some higher institution of learning if I don't skewer him down to hard work now..
Wheeler dealer is fine if he is giving value for the money - as in the comic book. Magic stones, no.
He may become the next Michael Dell or Bill Gates if he can stay out of jail. Maybe he should visit a jail sometimes to see how those people live. My children didn't know how really poor people lived until they were out of high school. They thought the whole world was a bed of roses. I made a real mistake there.
www. thanks for the suggestion but with boys at boarding school who come home only once a week and face a house with staff and not have to do much..it is almost hard to find him the chores that is his and not his..and his time is limited when he is home..which he claims is his time for rest and recreation..and thinking..lol
He has done window cleaning and mow the lawn and wash the car when he is hard-up..but prefers to make a fast buck the con-artist way like selling magic stones to an entire block of neighbors at age 6..and drawing his own comics for boys in his dorm to read which he charged 10 pence with continuing episodes the following week at age 9..so I need to keep an eye on his extra-income earning deals to keep him on the straight and narrow...his latest is trying to get on the computer games league so that games designers will employ him to test out their games..so I m dealing with a wheeler dealer teen..will be visiting him in prison some day instead of some higher institution of learning if I don't skewer him down to hard work now..
POCKET MONEY-HOW MUCH TO GIVE AND WHETHER IT SHOULD BE EARNED THROUGH HOUSE CHORES?
My son who believes that studying is such a hard chore and that he is only doing it just for me and therefore his pocket money is hard-earned and he sure spends every penny of it because he claims as a teenager why should he save, he is not saving to raise a family..so when he runs dry I make him do house chores to earn his extra income...but that means he becomes bloody mercenary and would not do any till he is paid..such a pain! Any smart ideas , anyone?
I agree with Sharp that child training has to be consistent with both parents which is really tough.
But children require tact and will often listen to a soft sell than a hard one..I would have played a game with your son..call it Dracula's blood su*king session, the real deal ..and challenge him to see the needle go into his arm and tell the doc to give him the biggest elastoplast or even a huge bandage and sign 'Dracula' so he could go back to school to show off to his mates that he just saw his own blood being su*ked out by Dracula...
REminds me when my kids asked where tooth fairies get their money from to give to kids .
My reply: 'Tooth fairies all have a day job making dentures from the teeth they collect at night..that is where they get the money from...'
Thanks CUB..you take over..I have to work..start another family topic...
HOw about :
HOw prepared are we to take on 'baggages' ..whether they be step-children, ex-spouses, strange quirky habits that surface post-union..and clan of family relatives who will inevitably be part of that baggage for those who are keen to re-marry or even for that matter just MARRY for the first time??
LOVE= baggage for better or for worse?
. Is it like that with women? How do you start collecting? Do you have to buy from the current collector, who probably want too much, or is there a old bone boneyard.
well,you just have to have a trained eye for a good model which will last and have great secondhand or residual value..a collector's item. A bit like wine collectors or any other specialist collectors..a connoiseur needs training and education..and of course luck to have come upon the rare collection..and to know its true value..man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing..loses out..and deconstructing everything into categories and theories sometimes leave you blind to the instinctive value which can't be measured quantitatively by any scientific equation..you just have to trust your instincts and your heart..and not the head..that has lots to do with experience and an innate passion for inexplicable value of things that are of refined quality..that is not taught nor learnt it is a rare gift..