Ive been accused of being shallow because my date is younger,attractive or arm candy. I must admit I do like my partner to be attractive and secure with their feelings and se-xuality regardless of their age. Ive met young women who' very mature and older ones who acts like high schoolers.
gonewiththewind write: I think its wellknown that age are 3:the age of our look, the age of our feeling, and the age mentioned in our birth certificate.the age of the look depends on our heritage.If many ppl in our family are having an old age, it means the body is getting older slower. The differences can reach 20 years. Added with healty living it could make more. I have seen a 20 years young looks like 30 somethign and a 40 years old woman like 26 or so. F.e:My grandma is 95 and still alive, my mom is 60 and most of the ppl mistaken her to be in her 40 ties. I am almost 40 and thank God, its not uncommon a 20 years college boy asked me what am i Studying? and some girls are surprised when I told them I am married and got babies...(while actually i got one in the college as well).This is just example. But to tell you the truth its risky for a woman to marry someone younger more than 4-5 years. Its the panic that will tire you...that he might find you old, not attractive anymore, and leave you for a younger..believe me I have been there.The diff is 6 years and he still can't accept the fact, asked me to fake my document, which I did. And now we are separated. this age thing is one of the reason, he kept on saying that I am too old(while he himself doesnt look younger than me according to all my friend...), he said he supposed to marry someone 5-8 years younger....and this incidence has killed our relations.Its the main reasons of our misunderstanding and fights...I believe, what our parents and grandparent said in the old time that if the husband is 4 years older than the wife, the marriage has a better chance to survive.the 4 are like the legs of a stable table....
Very insightful comments and you managed to express your concerns without appearing cynical.
thegoodlife2005 write: Yes you're a rare exception . . . but admit it now: Your 44+ candidates have good waist-to-hip ratios, great skin, shiny hair . . . etcetera! Meaning, they still LOOK capable of breeding even if it's the LAST THING on both of your minds!!!!!! Meaning, you've chosen your age cutoff, but LOOKS still sell.
Breeding is certainly the last thing on MY mind . . . but married OR single, I want to appear at least capable of it for as long as I can for as long as I'm interested in having sex with my man.
And if I never meet my True Love, and too much plastic surgery turns me into a cartoon image of a nubile female, I've already instructed my daughter to fish me out of the dating pool and put me into rehab! Once out of dating rehab, hopefully I won't care anymore what men think. I plan to be a proud, happy free crone someday, married or single, no matter what happens.
I won't deny that I am attracted to women who are attractive to me, and as I have posted here or elsewhere in these pages this does include bright eyes, clear skin and lustrous hair, but that's a biological thing, entirely beyond my control. What is within my control is to ignore women under a certain age, or rather politely suggest I am not a good candidate. And as I think I put in my profile itself (but may not, as I have had ads on multiple sites and they are not all worded the same), I had a vasectomy (in 1991) so I have zero intention of further propagation.
I suspect you could retain your beauty well into your 50s without plastic surgery, but as I am on record elsewhere advocating whatever it takes to make a person feel good about themself, I won't contradict myself here. And by the way, my desired age range is based entirely upon Chinese astrology. I am most compatible with someone either 4 or 8 years older or younger than myself (or 8 & 16, theoretically), and ok with most others. Considering that a) a woman may not have had her birthday yet and b) at least some admit in their profiles they have fudged on their ages, I'm allowing a little wiggle room. I am absolutely NOT compatible with someone 1 year older or 11 years younger, and were it to come out in the early stages that she fit that category, no matter how much I liked her it would go no further. So in a couple of months, when I'm 55, I'll change my age criteria as well. I still have some qualms about going past 59 in my search range, but were I to find someone born in the year of the dog or horse who liked me, age would not be a large barrier. Except today I got a wink from a 28 year-old! What a weird situation to be in...
thegoodlife2005 write: This is the third time I've posted on this same topic - - it just keeps coming up, so here goes. There is no getting around it: Unless a man is blind and/or under the age of 18, he's a visual creature, and generally needs visual stimulation for sexual enjoyment(if he's under 18, a stiff wind will probably do).
Men everywhere - - - rich and poor - - - want the most beautiful, sexy woman they can afford, to maximize their sexual enjoyment for as long as it suits them. A poor man can only afford so much, but a rich man is like a kid with a trust fund (and no nanny to slap his hand) in a candy store. And blonde, brunette or redhead (he really doesn't care) he'll only chose women who look nubile enough to breed - - - whether or not he actually wants children. The more nubile, the better.
If you want to play this game well, you need to know the rules and make shrewd choices about which rules to follow and which ones to break. You can't break the "nubile" rule and win this game; you just can't, so whatever your age, do everything in your power to appear as nubile as possible; i.e., a good waist-to-hip ratio, a pretty face, shiny hair (preferably long), and great skin.
If you nail these things down, men won't care about your actual "age" so much. In fact, in the early stage of attraction they won't even care about your brains, your character, or anything that really matters in the long haul, because in the initial stage of attraction they don't care about the long haul.
It really is all about looks, no matter what they tell you. Your brains and good character are your ace-in-the-hole: what will keep him around AFTER he's gotten his hands on you.
good luck, ladies!
I may only be the exception that proves the rule you express above, but my cutoff is about 44. When you're older, you may understand, and I hope you don't take that as a criticism, for it is not. Case in point is the 22 year-old who wrote to me last month. She was, judging by her photo, very nubile indeed. And gorgeous, and even seemed pretty intelligent. But these things cannot replace shared experiences. I'll have someone from my own generation or I'll find something else to do with my time. No offense meant to you younger gasls, but at present you don't have what it takes. Ain't that a switch? Be well.
carolinasunshine write: A lot of late 40's and early 50's men on here want women UNDER 40. They say it's because they are young for their age and want someone who can "keep up." Do men think they have a monopoly on eternal youth??? How arrogant of them.
Why do you think men are being arrogant? Psychologically it is quite known fact and understandable one. IMHO, men in their 40's, 50's and even older are looking for younger females, as .... probably they can offer lot more: life experience, better care, etc. Same with women, who hit younger men.
micoma write: Hey BFD how many good looking 20 year olds are still good looking when they are 40. Not that many. The way a woman looks when she is 40 plus is an indication of how she will look when she is 60, 70, 80. That's not to mention that seasoned is sexy. "Who's your daddy" is just saying. It is not suppose to be put into practice. LOL. Also have to consider the issue of kids. If you don't want any to raise then odds are you will be looking at older women. Give me a good looking 40 plus anyday.
Must agree. I've gotten winks from women as young as 22. Considering that my daughter just turned 37, that just seems ridiculous to me. While we're talking about sex, I know that at 54 I could not keep up with a 22 year-old if she's like the ones I knew at that age, but I also know no 22 year-old is liklely to be as uninhibited as a 40+ and while the sex may be less frequent, it's far better and the rest of the time it's nice to talk with someone born before Reagan was president and who knows Paul McCartney was in a 4-piece group when he was young.
I can't speak for anyone else, but at this point it's not the quanity of experiences I treasure, but their quality, and much of that quality lies in having shared them with the same person. Be well.
I just got home from a working a flight from New York to Denver and had more arrogant, rude, atagonistic azzholes than can be counted on one centipedes legs, Alex I see you have a lot of relatives who act and speak just as you do. It's too bad the san andreas fault is located on the left coast.
S4U, I do the exact same thing with my girls!! Like you said, they are so trusting! I love teasing them like that and embarrassing them... well THEY say it's embarrassing but it's not THAT bad!! God! They get embarrassed so easily and for nothing!! hehehe
lioncourt... look who's on top now... ;)... NOW we know why you have that face... hehehe... ;)
LOL, Katie you sound like u have a great personality and sense of humor. I say if he couldnt smile at the way you were teasing him, something is wrong. Its those same boys (and yes, i realize its strange that i call even men several years older than me BOYS) that have me rolling my mental eyes. I like seasoned men. that doesnt mean we cant have fun and be silly...no ones too old for that. but i love the look and i love the attitude of a seasoned man. every guy i have dated that has been my age, (and by that i mean 5-7 years older than me) looks like a teen in my eyes..doesnt know what hes doing. more like im the one thats several years older than them...and honestly..i want a man who can BE the man. Someone my mental equal or better. i want an old fashioned gentleman that i can respect. They discontinued that model in the 1960s.
I honestly wouldnt mind a man who wants to take care of his lady at all. I have been supporting my family for the past 3 months which includes my grandparents, my parents, my little sister, and my 3 yr old son. (I married when i was 18 and my husband left me a year ago, across country, to sleep with one of his best friends). Which also means yes, I can understand and respect the parental view...after all..what mother doesnt imagine with torment her own child in their teens and 20s.
I guess we have said a couple of negative things about younger people, but only in a parental way, if you can accept that. As equals with you, we know you know what you want & have a right to go after it. My daughter is 20, & grew up an only child. Family call us "The Gilmore Girls From Hell." She interacts with people of all ages & has been having a hard time getting attracted to "boys" at her college. She prefers older men up to 30.
She just got herself a boyfriend this year. He's 22 & looks like a hottie little skater boy.
When I was visiting her at her dorm last week, he came down to visit her. She brought him in & introduced him. He shook hands & was all, "Oh, I'm a quiet, cool kinda guy, with my baseball cap on & giant clothes that could fit Marlon Brando."
I liked him, ... & she sat on her bed & he sat beside her & I sat in the computer chair.
First I asked him, "So what are your intentions towards my daughter, young man?" He stared at me in disbelief for a second & then turned to her.
"Ignore her," she told him & then said to me. "I can't believe you just asked him that!"
"Wasn't he expecting it?" I asked, with a smirk.
"NO! HE WAS NOT!" she said.
Tribulation part 2 -
My daughter & I started discussing something & Nathan was looking bored. Finally he lay back on her bed & stared at the ceiling. His shirt hiked itself way up to show the waistband of his boxers & his cute little hairy bellybutton.
Well, I always says it's a mother's right to embarrass her kids for nine months of barfing, 16 stitches, & 2 decades of mouthing off!" (No, she's a very wonderful kidlet & I'm X-tremely proud of her).
So, we stopped talking for a second & I said, "Nathan? Honey, if I knew you better, I just might have to do something like this." I stood up, reached over & tickled his flat, exposed abs.
Well, that poor kid shot up & folded in half like a spring-locked deck chair! And he looked at me in amazement! But my daughter's face was the best. Her jaw was laying in her lap! Her eyes were like 2 train station clocks.
She said, "What do you mean - if you knew him better you MIGHT do that? You JUST DID IT!"
I smiled sheepishly & said, "I couldn't help it!"
She said, "Ya! You could have!!"
I said, "His stomach was all OUT there!"
She said, "So ... you control youself & leave it alone!!!"
I answered, "Hey! I didn't give him a wedgie! Did I?" Nathan's surprise quickly turned to terror!
She shook her head & laughed, "Well, at least he know's what you're like now. I can't believe you did that to a guy you just met!"
I said, "Should I put that in my online dating profile?"
can we please leave the 20s alone =) I realize that most people in their 20s are extremely immature, having no clue what life is or even who they themselves are...but you guys are killing off the fish in my pond =) I, due to the way i was raised and the fact that i was lucky enough to have chalked up quite a bit of life experience points early, am not one of the mindless 20s that so many of you speak of. i, for example, started my own company when i was 16. A very successful company (and no i was not pushing a lawn mower) i am world traveled and have achieved every dream of mine on my own accord within the time possibilities of my life thus far.
the age group i prefer is mid 30s...I would go older but I dont want to be left a widow at a young age. so for me, i thank god for older men who are willing to give a 22yr old woman a chance to prove the stereotype wrong. Otherwise, I would be left with the 20 yr old stereotype to date myself!
Bravo! Bravo!!! 1SG!!! Such a gentleman!!! Please everyone... standing ovation here!!!!!
And confidentwithaheart, I agree with you, lots of beautiful and nice ladies here (in a very non-lesbian way... I have to add... ), and the men here who ARE gentlemen in every sense of the word (and I DO wholeheartedly insist on the word GENTLEMEN) are the pick of the crop!!