Sweet, hunny, just look back on your original post. You asked this man what would happen when you were no longer young.....and he was gone. That is your answer!
Yes I think all of us have gone out with someone older at some point. I limited myself to 10 years, thought that was old enough. Make a boundary like that for yourself too. What's too old to you? Not to me or anyone else. You decide.
I know how you feel my first boyfriend did the same thing, and left me for someone older and "wilder" I didn't understand it either. Maybe we are not suppose to, but to learn from the experience.
You are beautiful, and a lovely young girl, don't give it way to just anyone or to be someone your not. Just be you and that is more than good enough.
Don't be too upset with bbd or anyone else they are all trying to help you in one way or another, (reserve comments on Spoils and Barkeep!)
Just remember we all luv you and think your a terrific kid, now go get your revenge by living well without him!
Babydol, I don't think it's a "fact of life" that all men cheat. SweetSixteen was in love (probably still is) with her first love. I don't believe he cheated on her. Things just change and unfortunately, people get hurt. It happens to many that young and to us who are older. Why ruin the memories of her first love by stating something like "if she thinks or knows" that he cheated she'll know she's better off without him? Why put something so negative in her head. Don't worry SweetSixteen and don't cry. I'm sorry to those who are still bitter because something in your past didn't work out. And I'm speaking to those who have this GREAT feeling when you "burn his stuff" as BabyDol alluded to in an earlier post. It's best to put the past behind you and move on. Happiness is ahead of you; go get it.
Now, for those who say men shouldn't date younger women. Has anyone clearly defined what "too young" is? 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, etc. It seems as if the women are more against it than men. There must be a reason women are so against this. I have my ideas but keep them to myself.
And BarKeep, I just had to laugh. Your post was hilarious. I think some people are in it for "tail" and some for other reasons. I respect your honesty.
To the post that said that my aunt said to wait until you older to get married. I think you said 23 years old. Come on, 23 years old. That's just out of college. What woman or man has lived any bit of his/her life at 23 years. I say no one unless you're from some third world country of African or South American tribe. 23 is far too young to even consider marriage unless you're some supporter of divorce whcih we all know is 50%. I think all men and all women should wait until at least 28 at the minimum. But, that's just me. I'd be willing to bet that the divorce rate is higher for people marrying at 23 than for people marrying at 30 plus.
barkeep.......I truly can't believe what I read in your post. Are yousure you're 39 y/o, as you sound like a teenager who is bragging about his conquests to his "guy friends"..
It goes without saying that MOST younger women are more sexually attractive. That's a given....BUT those women aren't just looking to get laid. They are searching for the same thing we in our 50s are. The search goes on for someone we want to spend our lives with, no someone who will take advantage of us sexually, then tell all his biddies. I'm sure you "girlfriend", and I use that term loosely.....wouldn't appreciate the fact that you are not only dating her for "TAIL" as you put it, but also because you can and probably do hit on her friends........merely achieving the same result, getting laid.
My question here is.....Do you have any feelings for this young woman or is she just your "toy"??
Mas, now I see why the ladies think so much of you on this forum. You deserve a lot of respect. I read your comments regarding old men perverts, and I'm glad to know there are at least some decent men still around.
Hey everyone! Sweet's handle says sixteen but next to her name it says, 'Female 18.' Regardless, any man who is older than her dad and old enough to be her granddad, is sick in the head to pursue a girl that age.
SweetSixteen, I see by your last post that you don't want to listen to good sound advice. You take our advice as 'mean' and think that we're jealous of you? Did you not see Mas's post about this very same thing? Why would a man be jealous of you? We're speaking from life experience here, NOT out of meanness or jealousy. Just as Mas said, we have choices in life. You will make your choices, regardless of what anyone says. And as I said once before, I hope you make the choices with the least regrets. If not, well, then you'll have to learn the hard way.
bd, though i do not run MM where they list a sixteen year old as 18, if that is true(that she is sixteen) then, what i said applies and i said If it is legal and moral".If she is not legal age then, certainally not. I responded based on her listed age and did not read further - my mistake.
Barkeep - wow, just read your post.
I'm your age, and...wow.
Nowhere in your post did I hear you mention what a wonderful, caring, compassionate, intelligent, humorous, intellectual person your 19 year old g/f is and/or how much you love her.
What I got out of your post was that the benefit of dating a person that age is the fact that they have friends that age that you can hit on, and...tail. If I misread what you were saying, please correct me.
"and provided the neurological wiring that ,makes so many of us naughty little boys to follow in their footsteps. Hey, it might suck, but there's not really a lot we can do about it."
What seperates us (human beings) from say...chimpanzees...is self awareness and the ability to control our urges. I don't buy the "hard wired" theory...people make choices in life...period. Genetics made me do it - poor arguement at best. The reason I don't get out of my car and kill the guy who cut me off in traffic is because I make the choice not to - even though I'm upset, I make the decision not to act on my impulse. An exageration (for the most part) - but I'm sure you see my point.
And while I agree with Faris and what she said about the selection of men a 20ish woman has at their age...and I don't like to judge people I don't know....a guy about to hit 40 dating a 20 year old just rubs me the wrong way. Live and let live - I know I know - and your lady is old enough to make her own decisions.
But have you told her the real benefits of dating her are tail and her hot friends?
Hmmm...I have to give some credence to what Faris said - she's right.
Guys in their younger 20's more times than not don't have a clue to where they are going. Some do - most don't. I sure the hell didn't.
(I was always great in the sack though)
Now...none of the above endorses a 50+ yeal old pervert sending e-mails to someone young enough to be his grand daughter. I repeat...that's just creepy. Frikkin' Chester the Molester.
SpoilYouRotten, excuse me?? Aren't you the exact same dirty old man who said 18-20 yr old young women's bods is what gets you going?? And yet you're sitting here giving advice to an 18 yr old saying, "Don't listen to them, what do they know?" We(women) know plenty because we've BEEN there. And we're also old enough to know you're just a dirty old man.
This is a prime example for SweetSixteen as to why she should steer clear of dirty old men like you. And by the way, let's do our math lesson today. She said the 53 yr old is 16 yrs older than her mom and dad. That would make her dad 37 yrs old...right? That does NOT make a 53 yr old man old enough to be her dad. It makes him old enough to be her GRANDDAD. How sick is that?
SweetSixteen, I believe us women have given you good sound advice when it comes to this sort of thing. We were there one time too, so we know what we're talking about. Old men like Spoil are only after one thing from you, and that is sex. Unless you're looking for a rich granddad(and believe me, he'll expect sex from you--how gross!), then stick to guys closer to your own age.
Men this old get kind of crazy in their old age and actually believe a young woman wants them. That is just disgusting. Spoil, I hate to say this but I believe even a minor would get you going. You have no decency about you whatsoever.
SweetSixteen...if your still reading this...my 15 yr old daughter would tell you this. You are in high school. Don't be getting serious at this age. Expect to date several young men closer to your own age. That is healthy. Date young men who will respect you, and want to do things just to be in your company and have fun with you. They are out there. Consider each relationship as a stepping stone for you to learn about yourself, about the qualities you want in a man you may marry one day, as well as, what is and makes a healthy relationship. My Aunt told my sister, who told me, "Never marry till your aleast 23 yrs or older, because you want to have that time to enjoy yourself and grow as an individual." You have your whole life ahead of you. Between now and 23+ yrs old, you have no idea how much you will change with respect to your morals, values, the way you think, what's important to you. You won't know till your there looking back. Have confidence in yourself. Aim for attending College/University...you will go to parties, have fun, & meet so many new friends...male & female. Don't sell yourself short at such a young age.
IndiumBlue...it's all in the interpretation. While you obviously saw red reading what Babydol had to say ... I envisioned it as a calm, loving voice giving excellent advice. I think others saw it that way too. One day when you have kids...you'll understand. How old are you? Because your reaction is more of a rebellious teenager...not a mature adult looking out for a teenager. If you're 28...children or no children, you'll have grown and matured alot from the time you were 16 and you'd know what babydol is saying is right on the mark! Have a nice day!
Well said to that young girl everyone! MasRogue, funny as usual. I actually posted the same advice for her that Babydol did, but it didn't make it on the board.....hmmmmm I smell a conspiracy! ;-)
Men going after such a young girl, it breaks my heart. Some of the old men on this site think it's still in good taste or OK if they are rich. (sigh) Someday they will understand that men in their 50's should not be trying to date women of 18 or even 28.
Sweetsixteen. Dont let others steal your happiness by their narrow minded thinking and own insecurities.He is old enough to be your dad. So what? What would you two have in common? Why wouldnt you if both are kind, considerate and thoughtful of the other. What if you have searched and searched and cant find a guy that has a past of being sexually faithful, doesnt beat on women, treats his mate like a queen, has honor, integrity, thoughtful, puts others ahead of himself, would you personally care what his age is if you could find a man like that? Misery loves company and a lot of those advising you have been on here for years. If you look back, they have advice or comments for nearly everyone and about everything and havent figured out that their mouths are running men off, not bringing them in.Oh yeah, you will see them come out when they see this post and when they cant get the best of me, they will start calling me names like old geiser, get on my meds and childish crap like that but, fact remains, not a one can give me one valid legal or moral reason you shouldnt be able to date whom you want at any legal age. If both of you make the other happy then, thats what its all about. My advice? If he has the qualities you seek in a man, the heck with others trying to control your life - go for it!!!!!!
MonicaF1 you are so right... I have to laugh when I see a fella in his 40's + strutting along with a young girl... I have an older brother who will only date girls in their 20's... Of course he won't say when his last date was, lol... I would be interested in their conversations though... Personally I'd feel like I were a pervert if I were to pursue a young girl. Just my 2 cents, which when I was your age would have bought...
although I'll have to disagree with the beautiful Monica.
I am 20 years old soon to be 21. I love older men, and it's not because they are posesive or because they think I'm weaker or dumb.
Unlike alot of people my age I am not looking for a F#$# or a fling, I look for feelings, a future...someone I can see myself with for a long time, who is ambitious, and most importantly MATURE. What Male between the ages 20-26 wants those things I look for? None --They Cheat, they spend 3 years in college without a major confused, they don't appreciate anything but their penises. Play mind games. Men age better than women, so it's always been this way. Men look for younger women.
Yes the sex with a 23 year old might be more intense than with a 42 year old...but while the 23 year old is more intense the 42 year old is more passionate and is not only concerned about his "satisfaction" but by now understands how important it is to satisfy your partner as well.
I am very passionate, and I love my freedom...I love playing dress up, always in dresses, high heels, open back gucci dress--While an older man will engrace this a 23 year old will flip out because "HELL NO somebody is looking at you"
Hey, I don't know about some of you ladies in your 30's and above, but I think that I get more looks now in my thirties than in my teens and 20's. Makes me feel like that beautiful, vibrant woman. Could be the way I walk too. Like I'm constantly on the runway. I'm a modeling/acting instructor after all. Shows extreme confidence. And, beauty is truly from within. Doesn't matter young or old. Agree?
Well, I've tried dating a few "older men" - in other words men between 40 and 55 (I'm 26) , and you know what - I have to agree with the earlier posters. It's rediculous.
Here's my analysis:
1) In general, men in that age range who want to date a woman in her 20's was a nerd/dork when he was that age and couldn't get a hot woman in her 20's when he was in his 20's. Therefor he's emotionally "stunted" at that time frame of his life and is trying desperately to re-live his past.
2) Men in that age range who gravite toward younger women are also secretly seeking DUMBER women. Why? Because most likely they're not overly interesting or intelligent men to begin with. I know this because I've wound up intimidating some older men because though I look younger than my age, my mind is about 10 years older than my chronological age.
3) Most of these older men dating younger women are insecure and delusional. They love being around someone who could be their daughter's school mate, yet they're paranoid that they look even older than they are around the woman. They act "oh so appalled" when the woman is asked for her ID at the bar, yet they are not. I mean COME ON.
4) Most of these men don't want to "help a younger woman" - they want to CONTROL a younger woman. Here's an example: The last older man I gave a try, I told that I was planning on going back to school. He responded with "BUT THEN WOULD YOU HAVE TIME TO SEE ME STILL?" - now in my opinion that is BEYOND selfish - but it's typical. Rather than the older man caring about the younger woman bettering herself, he wants to hold her back because he wants "attention". Pathetic.
In conclusion, I feel most older men who are trying to get it on with a younger woman are pathetic. I think in general an older woman would do well to steer clear of these loser men because they are totally disfunctional for the most part. If you're a relatively dumb and young girl you could do well with a man like what I've described but if you're a smart young girl, being around a man like I've described would make you want to shoot yourself in the head.