Steel, bet you didnt know that up to the time of Jesus, women did not have the right to divorce their husbands for any reason. Look carfeully at the divorce law that Jesus gave in Matthew chapter 19. The religious world has made a blunder in assuming he was talking to men AND women.Who were present there? Men. Who was Jesus talking to? Men. What was the subject? A MAN divorcing his wife.What did Jesus say to them in reguards to that? "but, i say unto you (men) that whosoever shall put away HIS wife.... This new rule shocked his own followers that they responded by saying that if this is the way WITH A MAN TOWARDS HIS WIFE then, its better to not marry.This is further backed up by romans chapter 7, "The wife that has a husband is bound to her husband (how long?)for as long as he shall live therefore, if while her husband is alive, she be married to another, she shall be called an adultresses". How much plainer do you want God to get for you? She can leave him but, must remain unmarried. 1 Cor. Chapter 7. Exception: She is a non believer, he is a christian and she leaves him. This is the real reason. Any questions?
Brad, do you mean your option of dating much younger is better than sitting home alone? Or do you mean my option? I don't sit at home alone unless I choose to. I am a straight woman, don't get me wrong. But men aren't my top priority in life. I can take them or leave them. I like my freedom and not having a man underfoot, causing all kinds of grief. I have younger and older who ask me out, and I do go out when I'm ready. But I have absolutely nothing in common with a guy in his 20s. Somehow I just can't get into that lingo like, "WaSup" or "AiGhT."
What reason do you believe a much, much, much younger woman would go out with you Brad? What are the chances of a really, really young woman loving someone 59 yrs old? I'd say out of 100%, maybe 20% would stomach it for the money. And I mean that in the most sincere way. They would not be there for love. I'm sorry, isn't going to happen.
Steel, that option of dating someone much younger beats the heck out of sitting at home all alone with no one. I also would like to know why you assume it is nothing but sexual? Why do you think ther isnt some women out there that reallly wants an older guy and only because that is what they like and not just for financial reasons?
Brad, there are many women in your age group that have valid divorces, according to your religious beliefs. Many women in their 50s have divorced because the husband cheated. Over in the religious forum, you stated adultery as one of only two reasons for divorcing, thus making a divorce valid. You can't deny that there are absolutely no 50s women who have been cheated on, which led to a divorce.
So what is the real reason you seek those so much younger than you? Inquiring minds want to know.
bbd, no, that is not true. That is not what i have said at all.What some of you arent getting is, though many men on here may love kids and kids love them, why would they want all those problems that go with raising kids, deal with all that drama, interupt their sex life, deal with x husbands, kids at x husbands on certain holidays and all that other stuff when, he has already raised his and wants his freedom? Why?Why would he want all that when he can get a single one without all that? Why?
Tomi, why would you label that crap? The amswere is very simple and at about an 8th grade level. The bible is very clear about divorce and what is valid. The problem isnt there, its that people want out of a marriage so, mans law allows them but the real question is, are they really divorced? There are two and only two reasons that God accepts for a man to divorce his wife.One is that she has sex with someone else.(Matt.Chapter 19). The other is, if he is a christian, she is not and she leaves him. ( 1 Cor Chapter 7)Any other reason(excuse) and it is not a valid divorce therefore, they are, in reality, still married. It tells men that if they go ahead and divorce without a valid reason AND marries another woman, he is guilty of adultery and if someone marries his wife that he divorced, also commits adultery. It is written in plain easy to understand language. Some have told me they know they were divorced. Based on their emotions and not the scriptures? No, they arent divorced !!! "The wife that has a husband is bound to her husband (for how long) for as long as he shall live therefore, if while her husband is alive, she be married to another, she shall be called an adultresses" The two reasons above are the only exceptions to that. How will they know? I will tell them. What if a man wont work, they cant get along, he beats her, he does drugs, he is a drunk, etc, etc - she can leave him but, is specifically told to remain unmarried. ( 1 Cor. Chapter 7)Why? Because she still is the wife of her husband.Read for your own self.
MasRogue....well once again you have shown this forum that you are a man of quality. I have found there aren't many out there these days. Seems it's every man for himself, and that's sad. I have to say, the woman that gets you will be one lucky female. I'm quite sure you will be equally as lucky!!!
Having a cousin who lives in your town, I do feel so inclined to speak to some of this jibberish you've been spewing.
In the Nothern Territories fo Canada one of the worst problems is alcholism, followed by teenage pregnancy, I do think your contributing to both problems.
You say this girl knows it's just for fun and not for keeps? How about a girl of this age will agree to anything, and do anything, to keep seeing the man she cares about. You'd better be fixed cause I can see this one getting preggers to hang onto you!
And for you to be 20 years older than this girl, is terrible! It's not like she's 40 and your 60, then you've both been there and done that and have half a brain to make logical decisions. At 19 her biggest delemia is what to wear today!
She's probably more hung up on you than she'll admit or let you know cause she knows if she does your gone. And she doesn't want that to happen!
Go play with an adult in your own age range and see the difference! First off she wouldn't be impressed by you being on an online dating service when datiung her, second she also wouldn't take any of this crap from you.
Unbelieveable, and your justifications are as well. And your friends giving you a " way to go Buddy" is incredulous too. You all need to grow up and date some grown ups to get a more balanced view of the world, and guess what the classy ones don't hang out in bars!
Barkeep...So your 39, presumably working in a "bar"? (suppose you have the "cocktail" dvd) That will explain why your dating or shall we call it "TAILING" 19 year olds! A guy seeking the most toys in the end...now darling, how will you ever be able to be the guy with the most toys in the end on a bartending salary?
I appreciate (I guess) your zest for an evnironment of lots of liquor and young sweet, good looking tail (we've all been there, some are still stuck there?) then having to work at a stimulating conversation with a person of substance and maturity ...hey and possibly GREAT TAIL too! (we do know our ASSets and how to use them suga, dont cut us "mature" women out...we're in for the count!) I also read your profile and at first found your personality to be refreshing....then I came to this conclusion...
Baby you would only be useful to me if you were great in bed and kept your mouth shut!!!!!!! Interested? lol BTW...barkeep...did you ever think that maybe they are just stroking your ego you for free drinks? lol
tick..tick..tick...bring on the responses!!!!!!!! yeah baby!
Okay - I was wrong. I admit it. I was driving home Thursday night after my last post in this thread and you know what - I realized I AM offended. I try very hard not to be judgmental Barkeep, but I'm afraid I'm going to pass judgment on you.
A 39 year old man who is sleeping with a 19 year old girl ("girl" is used purposely - anyone whose age ends in "teen" as in "nineteen" is considered a girl by me I guess) is just "-" shy of being predatory.
For God's sake ? I?m imagining you cruising the high school graduations looking for your next sex partner. And that is a disturbing thought. Kept me up for a while last night.
Anyone our age sleeping with a girl who is probably still paying off her prom dress on her credit card is a mess.
My friends (all of them - ALL OF THEM) would disown me and/or take me out in a field and beat some sense into me if I brought a teenager around as my g/f. Or as "tail". There wouldn't be any "high-fiving" going on.
You're at a distinct and unfair advantage over someone that young. And you know it.
My IQ places me in the top two percentile of the population - and let me tell you my view on that.
Since I'm ?smarter?, perhaps it's my job to look out for and help those who aren't as fortunate as I am - it's not my place to take advantage of them even though I could and it wouldn't be illegal. Does that make sense? Do you see the point I?m alluding to?
Morality can be argued forever, I understand that. But surely (and you appear to be extremely intelligent) you can whiff the inappropriateness that some of us are pointing at.
Spoils......that last statement is the biggest bunch of CRAP that I have ever read. IF the valid divorce is the case, how do WE (or those poor young girls) know that......
#1...they have a valid divorce and
#2....they are really married, but saying they are divorced???????
Spoil, then the majority of people who've been married and divorced probably have invalid divorces. But that doesn't mean I'm going to go after a young guy 20 or so yrs younger than me. I already have a child. Any relationship that's not based on true love and caring, is just casual, sexual, and convenient for the moment. There's really no other excuse. Unfortunately, the younger they are, the harder they fall and get hurt.
Steel, that was a much better post. One that will not cause a fight. Yes, i see and have known what you are saying and i agree with you - to a point. I do agree that in most cases, i know men well enough that a much younger woman would be wanted purely for sexual reasons. I agree with you that if she wants kids, in most cases, she should find someone closer to her age .However, there are some that arent "dirty old men" and dont want a younger woman because of ego or any other of the resons some have posted and wrongly assumed.There are some that feel they have no other choice because they believe religiously that the ones in their age range do not have a divorce that is valid, wheather that is correct or not, that is what they believe with all their heart.
You didn't/don't offend me Barkeep - my personal views on what is right/wrong are mine and mine alone. You've done nothing against the law, which is based on morality...so my own apparant narrow mindeness is my own to sort through.
But help me out. You posted:
"For me I was around 30 or so when I started to date dramatically younger women. "
Combine that with another part of your post:
"A recent statistic shows that until men hit about 35, they are typically after a woman who is their equal on all accounts....physically and intellectually."
I'm left with the fact that at age 30 you had more in common intellectually with an 18 year old (someone dramatically younger at least) than someone your own age.
Did I get that part right?
If I knew at age 18 what I know today - I wouldn't have made the same choices in life. And I'm not talking about the day I turned left instead of right and got in a car accident.
It's pretty safe to say the level of decision making at age 40 is a bit different than at age 20.
But when a person is 60, is the decision making so vastly different than at age 40? I don't think so.
Marriage, divorce, children, mortgages...most people at 40 have had the opportunity to experience the big decisions in life.
And THAT is the difference between an "adult" at age 40 and an "adult" who is 18. The 18 year old "can" make the choice - the 40 year old probably already has and has learned from it.
Spoil, yes I agree that everyone perceives things differently. When I was much younger, I had no tollerance for gays/lesbians. It was just totally gross to me. You would think being younger, I would've had MORE instead of less tollerance for that. Now that I'm a little older, I am more accepting of their differences. Everyone does have a right to happiness, as long as it is legal and isn't hurting anyone else.
I have a daughter whom someday will be grown, and I hope for the best for her. I can't protect her from everything, I realize this, though I try lol. I just hope with a mother's heart, that whomever she meets will truly want her for her and not just for sex. This is why this younger/older subject really hits home for me. I hate to see a young girl/woman taken advantage of, because someday it could just as likely be my daughter. Up until a certain age, very young women don't have the life experience to know how to avoid who's not good for them, or have their best interests at heart.
I guess I can't help seeing things through the eyes of and with the heart of, a mother, when it comes to this subject. Just so you know it's nothing personal against you okay?