Real Talk: Are You Afraid Of Being Alone? Long Term Relationship

  • View author's info Author posted on Dec 06, 2005 19:19


    I overheard this discussion on the train between two people last week, where two women were discussing being alone, dating, etc.

    One woman said, "Me being a widow, I'm not so much afraid of being alone because I have my children and grandchildren. My husband's love was so deep for me and there was never a doubt in my mind how deep his love was. If his love was a ocean I could sail forever, If his love were money I would be the richest women in the world, If his love was life I would live forever...I am the luckiest person in the world to have been loved so much by one person yet sometimes the saddest person because I can never again tell him how much I love him & thank him for loving me..."
    She went on to say, " ...the love I recieved from my late husband will be enough to carry me on throughout my life! I may seek companionship yes, but probably not another love like the one I once had..."


    I dwelt on that woman's words for the remainder of my train ride. I'd like to know how many of you have experienced a love that will carry you through for the rest of your life and are now looking for companionship?
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  • View author's info Photo Verified posted on Feb 12, 2016 16:09


    When I was growing up I didn't want to get married and imagine myself fully free and independent.

    Now, I find myself exatcly there and lucky for doing what I love.

     

    I enjoy spending time with myself but I am also very social.

     

    However.... I had a major accident (which I am currently recovering) and the first thing that came to mind, was the realization that I was wrong all the way... I spend 6 months with my family taking care of me and I was amazed by my parents love, suppor and care for each other. 

     

    I want to fully love and be loved, to care and be taken care by.... Honestly, I don't want to be alone any more. 

     

    I want to build a family and add hapiness to my husband's life as he add hapiness to my life and build a caring and loving family together.

     

    Everything else can't be compared with the dephs of true love, and that is what I want.

     

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  • View author's info Photo Verified posted on Jun 10, 2015 11:06


    I am not afraid to be alone. In fact, I worry I like being alone too much, and wont be able to marry again and have someone around all the time. I am a Romantic at Heart, so I love to be wined, dined and romanced. I know when I fall in love again, I will want to be with that person more than alone. As you get older, you get less trusting. My ex husband was the complete opposite of loving & I spent 17 years very unhappy. I would never ever be with someone again, for the sake of not being alone or stay for the kid. We learn from past mistakes and I would love to find my soulmate. Someone that has my heart, body and soul. I believe it does exist for everyone, if we are brave enough to keep looking until we find it.    Susie

  • View author's info posted on Mar 02, 2014 19:14


    There is not a fear of being alone, but a reality that life is best enjoyed with a companion. I have incredible family and friends, but they will never be a true companion.  They are there in a very supportive, but different way.

     

    I would rather be alone, than with the wrong person, but feel so much of life is meant to be done with 2.  Eating out, traveling, movies, concerts, can all be done alone...and I have, even the concerts.  However, finding someone with common interests, is the key to all of this.  If you don't enjoy the same things, it makes it hard to enjoy those times.  I have learned a lot from dating, found new interests from dating, and will not stop looking until I find Mr. Right, for me.

     

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  • View author's info posted on Feb 09, 2014 22:35


    yes, is a paradox. if you ask a woman, she will say that it is the men, if you ask a man he says that women are to blame. :))

  • View author's info Recommended Photo Verified Certified Millionaire in 2013 posted on Feb 08, 2014 08:29


    That's a sad story. In all honesty, I'm afraid to be in a relationship for fear of being hurt but then facing loneliness is just as hard.  It's a paradox.

  • View author's info posted on Feb 07, 2014 09:14


    i think that it's easy to be alone, do what you want without beeing questioned, no obligations, live your life.

    this way, no one can brake your heart, do what she need's whit you and than make you suffer.

     

  • View author's info posted on Jan 05, 2014 09:27


    love like that can last you for the rest of your life if it was from both people.

     

    I think the biggest problem is in time we take people close to us for granted... as if they are not there. when we learn how to remember that first filling and keep it alive... that is when it will last to the end...I think...

     

  • View author's info posted on Jan 05, 2014 01:07


    Absolutely no one wants to be alone. It's nature to have someone you mutually love by your side in life.

    It's a great thing. I've had love twice in my life. I regret the first but not the last. I'd do it again in a heart beat. Love is beautiful and secure and makes you feel like you are being hugged by a whole family 24 hours a day.

  • View author's info posted on Dec 27, 2013 07:02


    To be honest i do like to spend time when noone is maoning what to do and how to do but i do love have someone around who would support me:)!!!!

     

  • View author's info posted on Aug 08, 2013 15:06


    I was in a marriage for 22 years and I was so alone. He never gave me any money, did anything special for me for my birthday, anniversary, Christmas. I would have been happy to have had a handwritten note from him. We have three daughters 19, 21 and 24 and sadly my oldest daughter is going through the same thing too. You can be surrounded by people you love but when you don't feel the love or receive it back that deeply hurts.
    I am alone and it hurts. I divorced him after 22 years and have been alone now for 4 years. It has been good for me to heal and be alone. I have found myself and who I am and what I love to do. I am ready now to feel a man's love and affection. I will not settle for anything less. I know I have a lot of love and love is not meant to be kept to yourself but to be shared. I do have my children and grandchildren and that is a different kind of love. I want real true honest love. I don't want to go through life and never think I felt real love from  man.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 23, 2012 15:20


    I Think You have to learn how to enjoy to be happy by yourself then you can started looking for the other half.
  • View author's info Photo Verified posted on May 31, 2012 04:56


    Quoting Annabrazil:

    You can be with someone and feel alone, and be alone and feel fulfilled…

    Sad is when I hear friends telling me that, they are unhappy in their marriage and will have a child to love and fill-in their loneliness….

    Yes! That was my case for 16 years ... what a waste of time. Very sad.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 22, 2012 09:05


    I am not afraid of being alone, not because I have experienced that kind of love, but I am happy with myself. I think the only time you are truly afraid of being alone is if you are not happy with some aspect of your life and you are compensating. I do believe in the kind of love that the woman on the train was speaking of, but I do not think you can experience that kind of love without loving yourself first.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 18, 2012 00:46


    Quoting mahoganyangel:

    I overheard this discussion on the train between two people last week, where two women were discussing being alone, dating, etc.

    One woman said, "Me being a widow, I'm not so much afraid of being alone because I have my children and grandchildren. My husband's love was so deep for me and there was never a doubt in my mind how deep his love was. If his love was a ocean I could sail forever, If his love were money I would be the richest women in the world, If his love was life I would live forever...I am the luckiest person in the world to have been loved so much by one person yet sometimes the saddest person because I can never again tell him how much I love him & thank him for loving me..."
    She went on to say, " ...the love I recieved from my late husband will be enough to carry me on throughout my life! I may seek companionship yes, but probably not another love like the one I once had..."


    I dwelt on that woman's words for the remainder of my train ride. I'd like to know how many of you have experienced a love that will carry you through for the rest of your life and are now looking for companionship?



    I think this woman is truly blessed. Too have so much love inside that continue to carry her through out her life is very rare.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 07, 2012 11:56


    You can be with someone and feel alone, and be alone and feel fulfilled…

    Sad is when I hear friends telling me that, they are unhappy in their marriage and will have a child to love and fill-in their loneliness….

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  • View author's info Recommended Photo Verified posted on Dec 16, 2011 17:48


    I am also a widow and feel the same as the lady on the train.  My husband of 29 years gave me such joy and happiness.  He made me laugh every single day.  He loved to dance (no matter where we were) and told me he loved me every day.  
    He has been gone for 3 years now.....I am ready to love again.  There is no feeling like it in the world.  It is hard to date (at my age) but I am going to give it 100 % because I know there is a special man out there for me.
  • View author's info Recommended Photo Verified Certified Millionaire in 2013 posted on Dec 15, 2011 16:29


    I'm not afraid of being alone.  I'd rather be with someone else, however.
  • View author's info Photo Verified posted on Jun 15, 2008 12:43


    I love my alone time, it gives be a chance to do things I enjoy, paint, walking on the beach, listening to the birds sing, exc...
    I hope to one day find a man who can do these things with me "at times", but will also give me the space to be my own person and not feel treatened by my independence.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 09, 2008 15:11


    Honestly, yes...

    I know that I am not alone. I am not even really afraid. Its just that I have never been in a relationship (a healthy one anyways).

    I was only in 1 really bad relationship, which has never stopped me from wanted companionship from a REAL man, but I still haven't experienced that.

    The only kind of guys that seem to approach me are the ones that have no drive, motivation, goals or either I get the playas.

    After the good guys are already taken I always get the " Well, you are so beautiful I would have thought you were in a relationship"... Which sucks because I get that a lot which leaves me single and lonely :(.

    Shontia
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